History Funny / PillarsOfEternity

* In Skaen's Temple, if your Cruel reputation is high enough, the pool of blood will offer you to sacrifice one of your companion for a permanent status bonus. If you do, your companions will react in horror (but won't know you are responsible). If you sacrifice Grieving Mother... [[spoiler:''No one cares''. They don't even know she is here because of her glamour. Doing so will earn you some rather funny reactions from the others, including Durance scratching his buttock with his staff and Edér saying out loud that he is going to eat roasted chicken at the inn, while Grieving Mother is choking in her own blood]].

** Similarly, when asking Hiravias about the party, he notes that the strange peasant following around should be careful because she might get hurt, apparently not recognizing that she's been kick ass alongside you.

* Equally funny is when the caravan master tries to get Calisca to agree to agree to go with you.

-->'''Aloth [[spoiler:as Iselmyr]]:''' Fye, yer itching for the kindling touch of your sister, ye coxfither!

--> '''Devil of Caroc''': This ain't fair.

'''Durance:''' ''(seriously ticked off)'' Simply because I have business with ''that whore'' does not I care to discuss it!\\

--> '''The Watcher:''' I think I'll just go back home. Count my gold. Life a long life.

-->'''Maneha:''' Ondra's tides! Durance, you crack me up. ''(laughs)''

-->'''Edér''': Zahua, you think this thing's smokable? I got my pipe.\\
'''Zahua''': If it is not, I would gladly die finding out.

-->'''Zahua:''' It sounds as though you have suffered greatly, Aloth.
'''Aloth:''' Thank you, yes. It's rare I get much understanding.\\

-->'''Sagani''': Son of a moosefucker!\\

-->'''Hiravias''': So, do you have feathers ''everywhere''?\\

--> '''The Watcher''': I think I'll go back up, count my loot and money. Yup, that's what I'm going to do.

-->'''Zahua:''' Now we can ''all'' be rid of our vanity!

'''Hiravias_''' Ostracism? [[YourMom Is that the name for the groin rash your mother gave me]]?

'''Deryan:''' ''(about Adaryc Cendamyr)'' Rumor has it that the man is half-mad with visions.
'''Zahua:''' In Zahua's experience, if one is only half-mad with vision, the dose was too low.

-->'''Zahua:''' Usually works for me. *beat* What?

'''Hiravias''': Only I'm allowed to insult my mother, [[ActuallyPrettyFunny but seeing your dedication to banter]], I'll let this one slide.

-->'''Aloth [[spoiler:as Iselmyr]]: Fye, yer itching for the kindling touch of your sister, ye coxfither!

--> '''[[spoiler:Thaos]]''': Have your friends proven a worthy distraction from the pain of ostracism?
--> '''Hiravias''': Ostracism? [[YourMom Is that the name for the groin rash your mother gave me]]?

--> '''The Watcher''': Get out of my way or I'll break your sword in half and feed it to you [[AssShove at both ends]].

* The game ''opens'' with your caravan guide warning the group against angering the locals by entering ruins.

* The Watcher first meets Hiravias (noticing a pattern here?) as he's gorging on a [[NauseaFuel fresh, bloody, deer carcass]]. If you agree to have some when he offers "the best part," [[{{Troll}} he proceeds to pull out a long intestine while grinning expectantly]]. If you call his bluff by saying "After you," he'll try to keep up the ruse by eating it enthusiastically, trying to pretend it tastes good... only for his face to droop while chewing, [[HoistByHisOwnPetard then finally break down gagging.]]

** Probably funnier is Eder's reaction, as he quips that he has room in his pack if you let him name the baby.

'''Eder''': Turning purple.\\

'''Eder''': If I'm not supposed to pet him, why is he so soft?!

* If the Watcher has a background as a nihilistic philosopher, they will have the following response to the revealation that [[spoiler:the Gods aren't real]].

** With Kana Rua, he remarks first upon his size, then states that the giant [[VocalDissonance has a better singing than any of the women]] in his tribe - "it's [[StupidSexyFlanders one part unsettling]], [[ArousedByTheirVoice two parts arousing]]... and it makes me wish I still had both ears."

-->'''Zahua:''' What? Usually works for me.