History Funny / MarvelUniverse

* Red Hulk has been a source of these pretty much since Loeb stopped writing the series, as all the characters he beat up previously get their own back, including Iron Man and [[http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/2574646.html this wonderful confrontation with Thor]]. Thor's exchange with Bruce Banner is just the cherry on top.

* Issue of ''{{Comicbook/X-Factor}}'' V2, just after a big fight. Female teammate (in the usual skintight spandex) is complaining about being banged up.
--> '''Strong Guy''': "Try stretching your arms over your head and arching your back."
--> '''Polaris''': "How's this supposed to help me?"
--> '''Strong Guy''': "It isn't, but it's doing wonders for me."
** In an issue of ''X-Factor'' V3), Rictor is being questioned by the police about a contact. He finally gives up the name "Robert", describing him as having a pointy nose, a rectangular face, wide eyes, and yellowish skin. The cop comments that "Robert" sounds like a druggie, and the other guy agrees, saying he claims to live under the sea... [[SpongeBobSquarePants in a pineapple.]] The cop remains clueless (and another one, upon finding out, pegs him as not having any kids and gripes that [[EarWorm now that song is going to stick in her head all day]]).
** X-Factor had a lot of humor during the first Peter David run in the Nineties. One bit I can recall imeediately:
---> '''Bystander:''' Thank you for coming so quickly.
---> '''Multiple Man:''' Well, it was hard to miss that big "X" you shined on passing clouds.
---> '''Quicksilver:''' Ignore him. We all do.

*** "Holy themed thieveries, S.M.!" Really, Venom had quite a few funny moments that issue.

* Red Hulk has been a source of these pretty much since Loeb stopped writing the series, as all the characters he beat up previously get their own back, including Iron Man and [[http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/2574646.html this wonderful confrontation with Thor]]. Thor's exchange with Bruce Banner is just the cherry on top.

** The Mini-Marvel take on Planet Hulk ends with all the [[strike:[[MyNameisNotDurwood Illuminators]]]] Illuminati panicking at Hulk's return to Earth...except Namor, who's calmly lying down saying "[[SomebodyElsesProblem I live underwater.]]"

--->'''Thor''': "NAY!" *Hammer to the face.

* Issue of ''{{Comicbook/X-Factor}}'', just after a big fight. Female teammate (in the usual skintight spandex) is complaining about being banged up.

** In another issue of ''X-Factor'' (or at least ''a'' X-Factor, Marvel's re-booted the series a few times), one of the guys is being questioned by the police about a contact. He finally gives up the name "Robert", describing him as having a pointy nose, a rectangular face, wide eyes, and yellowish skin. The cop comments that "Robert" sounds like a druggie, and the other guy agrees, saying he claims to live under the sea... [[SpongeBobSquarePants in a pineapple.]] The cop remains clueless (and another one, upon finding out, pegs him as not having any kids and gripes that [[EarWorm now that song is going to stick in her head all day]]).

* ''{{Nextwave}}'': The Celestials telling [[strike:Machine Man]] Aaron Stack exactly what they think of him. Complete with "L-for-loser" hand sign.
** '''FIN FANG FOOM!'''
---> Has been burning with the need to mate since 1956!
---> '''FIN FANG FOOM!'''
---> Has absolutely no genitals whatsoever!
---> '''FIN FANG FOOM!'''
---> Oh, you cannot imagine how annoyed he is.
** A giant red dinosaur in a smoking jacket holding a gun. ThisTroper had it as his {{Facebook}} picture for a while, to the confusion and amusement of all.
** "I fire you with bullets now."
** "Monica Rambeau, former Avenger, ''lies all the time.''"
** A TakeThat aimed at a certain scene from TheUltimates: "Victim? VICTIM!? DO YOU THINK THIS € ON MY CHEST STANDS FOR AMERICA!?"
** "They EXPLODE! My life has meaning now!"
** Dread Rorkannu shows us how to always keep a poker face while negotiating.
-->'''Yes!''' ''I HAVE A HUNDRED OF THE EARTH DOLLARS!'' [Ahem] Your offer is acceptable.
** "I ''hate'' cops! Because, like, cops keep ''arresting'' me and stuff? For ''stealing?'' Like stealing's a ''crime'' or something?"
** "The little guy did something to your heads. [[TheDitz I]] gave him the explodo because [[TooDumbToFool I am clever]]."
** [[FluffyTheTerrible "Widdle cuddly bears...of ''death?'' AAAAAAAAAAA! DEATH BEARS"]]
** "ZOMG! There are French people in Canada? That's like, right next ''door!'' OH NOES!"
** Dirk Anger. Just...Dirk Anger.
** The ''title'' to the second trade paperback: '''I Kick Your Face'''
*** Pretty much the whole book is MadeOfWin. Go and read it already.
** It even has a theme song:
-->''Monica! Is gonna microwave your [bleep]!\\
Tabby! Is going to steal all your stuff!\\
Aaron! [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Is going to organise your sock drawer.]]\\
Elsa! Is gonna speak with an accent!\\
The Captain! '''His name is the Captain!'''''

--> '''Osborn'''(while getting into costume): "Note to self: give naked dictation more often, the ideas seem to flow more freely."

--> '''Deadpool:''' Are you having a ''seizure''? Speak English!

---> "But I can't- ::sigh:: Fine. Get her, my pretties, I command you!"

** A similar situation: [[LukeCageHeroForHire LukeCage]] borrowing a rocket from Reed Richards in order to shake down Doom for $200 owed him.

* From ''Thor'': A mortal fry-cook named Bill tries to ask the Asgardian ice goddess Kelda out. He's holding a bouquet and standing on the ground, looking up at the floating kingdom of Asgard in the sky. Kelda looks over the wall and asks him to throw the flowers to her, despite his protests that he can't possibly throw that high. After several tries, he ties a rock to the bouquet and throws it, only for the rock to hit Kelda in the face. Depending on your point of view, this can also be a [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome CMOA]] and a [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming CMOH]].

--> '''Osborn'''(while getting into costume): "Note to self: give naked dictation more often, the ideas seem to flow more freely.")

** In Issue #13 of the first volume, Gwen Stacy happens to get caught up in a battle between Spider-Man and Sandman, and after it's finished calls up Mary-Jane to tell her all about it. However, whilst the action is exactly what you would see in any standard ''Spider-Man'' comic, the captions -- and dialogue -- are all exactly what they would be like if the action was being described and narrated by a slightly hyperactive and breathless teenage girl, thus resulting in beautiful moments like:

--->'''Spider-Man''': I'm gonna jump right through you - even though it's gross -- 'cause I'm all awesome and stuff!

** There's also Hulk's response to a minor mutant who describes herself as "practically invulnerable."

** A similar situation: Luke Cage borrowing a rocket from Reed Richards in order to shake down Doom for $200 owed him.
* The MarvelCivilWar has been mentioned twice already, but the scene of utter win is during the wedding of Storm and Black Panther. Spider-man is talking to a Gorila guy (can't remember the name) and says that he really needs to choose a more lovable animal to base himself off of, since spidey's had first hand experience with this. The Gorilla guy is a shaman or chief of an tribe and the Gorilla part is due to it being a spirit animal. He gets angry at Spidey, and starts a fight. Due to the generally charged tensions in the universe at the moment, the entire wedding reception degrades to what is essentially a bar brawl. This Troper was debating between snickering and wincing for the happy couple, until they comment to each other about how ''now'' the party's truly started. But..yeah, spidey...drunk...yeah

** Eight issues later: "A plasma rifle 'gainst a boysenberry pie? Can you see the crazed psychopath in this picture?" Naturally, Rogue gets the PieInTheFace.

--> '''Fantomex''': Jean…England is that way down the track…the tilt of your pelvis tells me you find me too attractive to permit them to capture me again.
---> '''Jean''': (irritated) Ten minutes of falling debris, “Fantomex.� ''Au revoir.'' Run.

** The Mini-Marvel take on PlanetHulk ends with all the [[strike:[[MyNameisNotDurwood Illuminators]]]] Illuminati panicking at Hulk's return to Earth...except Namor, who's calmly lying down saying "[[SomebodyElsesProblem I live underwater."

** A TakeThat aimed at a certain scene from TheUltimates: "Victim? VICTIM!? DO YOU THINK THIS € ON MY CHEST STANDS FOR AMERICA!?"

* One issue of SpiderMan was called "Slyde Into Destiny". It features Spidey's [[UnknownRival unknown archfoe]], an incredibly minor and [[TedBaxter deluded]] villain calling himself "Slyde".

* SquirrelGirl. Pwning Dr. Doom. Being called Anti-Life. But especially her encounters with [[DeadPool the evil, evil man]].

* The {{MarvelCivilWar}} has been mentioned twice already, but the scene of utter win is during the wedding of Storm and Black Panther. Spider-man is talking to a Gorila guy (can't remember the name) and says that he really needs to choose a more lovable animal to base himself off of, since spidey's had first hand experience with this. The Gorilla guy is a shaman or chief of an tribe and the Gorilla part is due to it being a spirit animal. He gets angry at Spidey, and starts a fight. Due to the generally charged tensions in the universe at the moment, the entire wedding reception degrades to what is essentially a bar brawl. ThisTroper was debating between snickering and wincing for the happy couple, until they comment to each other about how ''now'' the party's truly started. But..yeah, spidey...drunk...yeah
*From Ultimate Spider-Man:

**** Kl'lrt is Adorable in Mini-Marvels.

** "SpiderMan remask! We don't know who he is anymore!"

* It's such a horrible situation, what with Zombie Hawkeye being batshit insane because his bodiless head was trapped alone under rubble for decades, but the part where he attempts to take out Zombie Giant-Man is ''hilarious'' anyway.

**From the same comic, the part of the "Torn" arc where [[spoiler: Wolverine is regressed back to a childlike state and runs around speaking in antiquated, 19th. Century-type English. The highlight is probably his prayer when cornered by a feral Beast: "Dear God, I promise that if you let me live I'll be nicer to the poor, unless you don't like them for some reason and that's why they're poor."]]

* Thor and Amadeus Cho, attempting to rescue Hercules from the underworld, end up fighting the Egyptian goddess Sekhmet. Cho draws on a knowledge of Egyptian mythology to intoxicate her and turn her into an aspect of Hathor ([[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sekhmet#Festivals_and_evolution yes, Hathor]]), a goddess of love. And lolcats. [[http://scans-daily.dreamwidth.org/2152242.html I'm not making this up, you know.]]

** Goom. Plain and simple. There is no explanation that will do it justice, so just...
*** Maybe someone can try explaining now that the link is dead?
*** Goom is a stories-tall alien imprisoned in a pocket dimension, whom Johnny Storm accidentally lets out. As he and Spidey discover, much to their dismay and the readers' amusement, Goom learned all of his English from watching MTV and Jerry Springer (also Johnny's fault).

-->"Why didn't you just say 'Hey! There's some dinosaurs on the street!'"
-->"It would have ruined the surprise."
-->"Bad surprises are supposed to be ruined!"
-->"Yeah. Good surprises are like 'Hey! Your puppy is made of diamonds!' But nobody wants a bad surprise like - Hey! That T-Rex is about to gobble you up!"
** Captain America putting Wolverine on the Avengers when they fight the horde that's come to ransack the village they were brought to save, ''specifically'' because brute force, not tactics, are what's needed. What makes it classic is Logan's reaction.

--> "I just KNEW it was a creepy older planet. DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, EARTH!"