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Changed line(s) 21 (click to see context) from:
** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to ''Literature/AliceInWonderland''. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: "He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says 'Call Me a Dirty Slut.'"
to:
** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to ''Literature/AliceInWonderland''. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: "He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says 'Call '[[TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers Call Me a Dirty Slut.Slut]].'"
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* The "[[Music/MCHammer too legit potion]]" item, which doubles the defensive power of your pants.
-->Stop. Your pants are too big. Just stop.
-->Stop. Your pants are too big. Just stop.
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Changed line(s) 53 (click to see context) from:
* Even the basics can inspire some choice giggles. I end up laughing every time I remember that ''Meat'' is the in-game currency, especially after taking the rigmarole of justifications contradicting themselves. Yes, Meat is the currency, but you don't kill any of the monsters. You just beat them up and take their stuff! But where did you get the yeti skin? The yeti was carrying it, of course!
to:
* Attempting to pickpocket The Guy Made of Bees rewards you with... A handful of bees. Apparently the bees were so amazed you tried something so stupid that they forgot to attack you and ended up in your inventory.
* Even the basics can inspire some choice giggles. I end up laughing every time I remember that ''Meat'' is the in-game currency, especially after taking the rigmarole of justifications contradicting themselves. Yes, Meat is the currency, but you don't kill any of the monsters. You just beat them up and take their stuff! But where did you get the yeti skin? The yeti was carrying it, ofcourse!course!
**The meat currency is perfectly lampshaded by the description of a huge gold coin from a faux-video game dungeon
-->A gold coin the size of your face is probably the most impractical form of currency you've ever encountered. Oh, wait -- meat. Right.
* Even the basics can inspire some choice giggles. I end up laughing every time I remember that ''Meat'' is the in-game currency, especially after taking the rigmarole of justifications contradicting themselves. Yes, Meat is the currency, but you don't kill any of the monsters. You just beat them up and take their stuff! But where did you get the yeti skin? The yeti was carrying it, of
**The meat currency is perfectly lampshaded by the description of a huge gold coin from a faux-video game dungeon
-->A gold coin the size of your face is probably the most impractical form of currency you've ever encountered. Oh, wait -- meat. Right.
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Changed line(s) 52 (click to see context) from:
The ring doesn't attack you. That isn't particularly surpising.
to:
The ring doesn't attack you. That isn't particularly surpising.surpising.
* Even the basics can inspire some choice giggles. I end up laughing every time I remember that ''Meat'' is the in-game currency, especially after taking the rigmarole of justifications contradicting themselves. Yes, Meat is the currency, but you don't kill any of the monsters. You just beat them up and take their stuff! But where did you get the yeti skin? The yeti was carrying it, of course!
* Even the basics can inspire some choice giggles. I end up laughing every time I remember that ''Meat'' is the in-game currency, especially after taking the rigmarole of justifications contradicting themselves. Yes, Meat is the currency, but you don't kill any of the monsters. You just beat them up and take their stuff! But where did you get the yeti skin? The yeti was carrying it, of course!
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Changed line(s) 20 (click to see context) from:
* A few things have actually made me laugh out loud in this game. Chief among them is the [[FourChan guy in a]] [[VForVendetta V for Vivala mask]] holding up a sign saying [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "The Spaghetti Cult is a Cult!"]]
to:
* A few things have actually made me laugh out loud in this game. Chief among them is the [[FourChan guy in a]] [[VForVendetta [[ComicBook/VForVendetta V for Vivala mask]] holding up a sign saying [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "The Spaghetti Cult is a Cult!"]]
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** "The alphabet giant's favorite letters are F and U."
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You pick up the ring and toss it in the air. It lands in your mouth and gets lodged in your windpipe. What are the odds?
to:
You pick up the ring and toss it in the air. It lands in your mouth and gets lodged in your windpipe. What are the odds?odds?
** That, and the miss messages involving it just lying there.
-->You stare at the gold ring. It lies there, doing nothing in particular. \\
The ring attacks the crap out of you. Nah, just kidding. \\
The ring doesn't attack you. That isn't particularly surpising.
** That, and the miss messages involving it just lying there.
-->You stare at the gold ring. It lies there, doing nothing in particular. \\
The ring attacks the crap out of you. Nah, just kidding. \\
The ring doesn't attack you. That isn't particularly surpising.
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Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
** "Kirby dance! <(o.o<) (>o.o)> <( o.o )> (>o.o<) ^( o.o )^ v( o.o )v <( o.o )>"
to:
** "Kirby dance! <(o.o<) (>o.o)> <( o.o )> (>o.o<) ^( o.o )^ v( o.o )v <( o.o )>")>"
* Don't worry if you get too banish-happy with monsters in an area- the game still will have something for you to fight. [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Tumbleweed It doesn't hesitate to mock you for it, though]].
* The fight against the [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Golden_ring_(monster) a golden ring]], from an old Crimbo event. What makes it funny is that most of damage done is self-inflicted.
--> You bend over to inspect the ring and stand up too fast. You get dizzy and run into a wall. \\
You kick the gold ring across the room. It rebounds off a wall and hits you in the eye. \\
You pick up the ring and toss it in the air. It lands in your mouth and gets lodged in your windpipe. What are the odds?
* Don't worry if you get too banish-happy with monsters in an area- the game still will have something for you to fight. [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Tumbleweed It doesn't hesitate to mock you for it, though]].
* The fight against the [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Golden_ring_(monster) a golden ring]], from an old Crimbo event. What makes it funny is that most of damage done is self-inflicted.
--> You bend over to inspect the ring and stand up too fast. You get dizzy and run into a wall. \\
You kick the gold ring across the room. It rebounds off a wall and hits you in the eye. \\
You pick up the ring and toss it in the air. It lands in your mouth and gets lodged in your windpipe. What are the odds?
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Changed line(s) 41 (click to see context) from:
** "Undead hoboes are much less likely to steal a pie from your windowsill, unless it's a brain pie, in which case what the hell is wrong with you?"
to:
** "Undead hoboes are much less likely to steal a pie from your windowsill, unless it's a brain pie, in which case what the hell is wrong with you?"you?"
** "Kirby dance! <(o.o<) (>o.o)> <( o.o )> (>o.o<) ^( o.o )^ v( o.o )v <( o.o )>"
** "Kirby dance! <(o.o<) (>o.o)> <( o.o )> (>o.o<) ^( o.o )^ v( o.o )v <( o.o )>"
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Changed line(s) 41 (click to see context) from:
** "Undead hoboes are much less likely to steal a pie from your windowsill, unless it's a brain pie, in which case what the hell is wrong with you?"
to:
** "Undead hoboes are much less likely to steal a pie from your windowsill, unless it's a brain pie, in which case what the hell is wrong with you?"you?"
** "Kirby dance! <(o.o<) (>o.o)> <( o.o )> (>o.o<) ^( o.o )^ v( o.o )v <( o.o )>"
** "Kirby dance! <(o.o<) (>o.o)> <( o.o )> (>o.o<) ^( o.o )^ v( o.o )v <( o.o )>"
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Changed line(s) 40 (click to see context) from:
** "The urchin urchin's mouth is located on the underside of his body, [[TakeThat like most politicians]]."
to:
** "The urchin urchin's mouth is located on the underside of his body, [[TakeThat like most politicians]].""
** "Undead hoboes are much less likely to steal a pie from your windowsill, unless it's a brain pie, in which case what the hell is wrong with you?"
** "Undead hoboes are much less likely to steal a pie from your windowsill, unless it's a brain pie, in which case what the hell is wrong with you?"
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
** "Male dolphins have a penis that is two feet long and curved like an S. Female dolphins don't have a penis."
to:
** "Male dolphins have a penis that is two feet long and curved like an S. Female dolphins don't have a penis."
** "The urchin urchin's mouth is located on the underside of his body, [[TakeThat like most politicians]]."
** "The urchin urchin's mouth is located on the underside of his body, [[TakeThat like most politicians]]."
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Changed line(s) 31 (click to see context) from:
** ...And yes, ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext.
to:
** ...And yes, ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext.ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext.
* [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Monster_Manuel Monster Manuel's]] enormous library of factoids includes some real gems.
** "Hippy jewelry makers don't use precious stones, because calling a certain type of stone precious makes the other stones feel bad."
** "Anemones are stationary but technically sentient, [[TakeThatUs much like most of the people who write this game.]]"
** "So a priest, a rabbi, and a stripper walk into a bar, and [[ItMakesSenseInContext it eats all of them.]]"
** "If you grind up a beanbat and pour boiling water over it, you probably have some mental problems."
** "Many necromancers have been dismayed to find that they've acquired a chalkdust wraith, when what they had wanted was a cocaine wraith."
** "Knob Goblin Alchemists can turn any potable liquid into urine, given enough time."
** "Male dolphins have a penis that is two feet long and curved like an S. Female dolphins don't have a penis."
* [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Monster_Manuel Monster Manuel's]] enormous library of factoids includes some real gems.
** "Hippy jewelry makers don't use precious stones, because calling a certain type of stone precious makes the other stones feel bad."
** "Anemones are stationary but technically sentient, [[TakeThatUs much like most of the people who write this game.]]"
** "So a priest, a rabbi, and a stripper walk into a bar, and [[ItMakesSenseInContext it eats all of them.]]"
** "If you grind up a beanbat and pour boiling water over it, you probably have some mental problems."
** "Many necromancers have been dismayed to find that they've acquired a chalkdust wraith, when what they had wanted was a cocaine wraith."
** "Knob Goblin Alchemists can turn any potable liquid into urine, given enough time."
** "Male dolphins have a penis that is two feet long and curved like an S. Female dolphins don't have a penis."
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Fixing Namespace!
Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* The fight against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''[[{{Determinator}} still crawling at you with one arm left.]]'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]
to:
* The fight against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''[[{{Determinator}} still crawling at you with one arm left.]]'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]
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Changed line(s) 30 (click to see context) from:
Your opponent looks at you, taking 5905-9051 damage from the pure bewilderment of it all.
to:
Your opponent looks at you, taking 5905-9051 damage from the pure bewilderment of it all.all.
** ...And yes, ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext.
** ...And yes, ItMakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext.
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Changed line(s) 17 (click to see context) from:
** "C'mon Ed, cut it out. You're making me feel bad!"
to:
"UNDYING!"\\
''sigh'']]
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Changed line(s) 21,22 (click to see context) from:
** How about the slime monsters in the Slime Tube?
--> It tries to ooze under your toenails, but is repulsed by the smell of your feet. Congratulations, you just disgusted a living booger.
--> It tries to ooze under your toenails, but is repulsed by the smell of your feet. Congratulations, you just disgusted a living booger.
to:
--> It tries to ooze under your toenails, but is repulsed by the smell of your feet. Congratulations, you just disgusted a living
* Amid the barrage of pop culture references, there's also room for pure surreal humor, such as this message when you use a certain accessory as a combat item:
-->You look at the unicycle, and it fills you with rage.\\
\\
"I hate unicycles! I hate them!" you scream, as you slam it into the ground, again and again, breaking it into tiny pieces.\\
\\
Your opponent looks at you, taking 5905-9051 damage from the pure bewilderment of it all.
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** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to AliceInWonderland. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: "He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says 'Call Me a Dirty Slut.'"
to:
** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to AliceInWonderland.''Literature/AliceInWonderland''. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: "He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says 'Call Me a Dirty Slut.'"
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Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to AliceInWonderland. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: "He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says 'Call Me a Dirty Slut.'"
to:
** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to AliceInWonderland. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: "He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says 'Call Me a Dirty Slut.'"'"
* The entire game is filled with strange, quirky, and above all else, hilarious humor, but the Bad Moon adventures take the cake for the sheer punishment your character goes through. [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/This_Doesn%27t_Look_Like_Candy_Mountain One of the more notable ones]] is basically one big CharlieTheUnicorn ShoutOut, complete with [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Missing_Kidney getting your kidney stolen]] (don't worry, [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Spare_kidney you can buy a "new" one later]]).
** How about the slime monsters in the Slime Tube?
--> It tries to ooze under your toenails, but is repulsed by the smell of your feet. Congratulations, you just disgusted a living booger.
* The entire game is filled with strange, quirky, and above all else, hilarious humor, but the Bad Moon adventures take the cake for the sheer punishment your character goes through. [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/This_Doesn%27t_Look_Like_Candy_Mountain One of the more notable ones]] is basically one big CharlieTheUnicorn ShoutOut, complete with [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Missing_Kidney getting your kidney stolen]] (don't worry, [[http://kol.coldfront.net/thekolwiki/index.php/Spare_kidney you can buy a "new" one later]]).
** How about the slime monsters in the Slime Tube?
--> It tries to ooze under your toenails, but is repulsed by the smell of your feet. Congratulations, you just disgusted a living booger.
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**"C'mon Ed, cut it out. You're making me feel bad!"
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* The fight against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''[[{{Determinator}} still crawling at you with one arm left.]]'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]
to:
* The fight against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''[[{{Determinator}} still crawling at you with one arm left.]]'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]]]
* A few things have actually made me laugh out loud in this game. Chief among them is the [[FourChan guy in a]] [[VForVendetta V for Vivala mask]] holding up a sign saying [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "The Spaghetti Cult is a Cult!"]]
** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to AliceInWonderland. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: "He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says 'Call Me a Dirty Slut.'"
* A few things have actually made me laugh out loud in this game. Chief among them is the [[FourChan guy in a]] [[VForVendetta V for Vivala mask]] holding up a sign saying [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment "The Spaghetti Cult is a Cult!"]]
** Another one is Beyond the Looking Glass, full of references to AliceInWonderland. At the Tea Party, it has the foods with "Eat Me" written on them, and the following quote takes it to the extreme: "He pulls out a plate of pastries, each with a familiar type of masochistic command written on it. A few say "Eat Me," some say "Drink Me," and one particularly off-putting one says 'Call Me a Dirty Slut.'"
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* The fight against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''still crawling at you with one arm left.'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]
to:
* The fight against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''still ''[[{{Determinator}} still crawling at you with one arm left.'']] ]]'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* The fights against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''still crawling at you with one arm left.'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]
to:
* The fights fight against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''still crawling at you with one arm left.'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]
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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
** "I deduce that I make [[SelfImposedChallenge hardcore]] easier."
to:
** "I deduce that I make [[SelfImposedChallenge hardcore]] easier.""
* The fights against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''still crawling at you with one arm left.'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]
* The fights against [[spoiler:Ed The Undying]] gets funnier and funnier as you continue fighting him. By the end, [[spoiler:your PlayerCharacter has ''severed his torso'' and he is ''still crawling at you with one arm left.'']] The whole thing is reminiscent of [[spoiler:The Black Knight scene from MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail.]]
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Changed line(s) 14 (click to see context) from:
** "I deduce that this monster's name is Frank, or possibly Brad."
to:
** "I deduce that this monster's name is [[RockyHorrorPictureShow Frank, or possibly Brad."]]"
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Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
** "I deduce that this monster has approximately [[EleventyZillion eleventy-seven hojillion]] hit points.
to:
** "I deduce that this monster has approximately [[EleventyZillion eleventy-seven hojillion]] hit points."
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Changed line(s) 2 (click to see context) from:
* The [[JokeItem Defective Skull]], a parody of the EnemyScan item called the Detective Skull, has numerous useless "deductions" that are nonetheless quite entertaining.
to:
* The [[JokeItem Defective Skull]], a parody of the EnemyScan item called the Detective Skull, has numerous useless "deductions" that are nonetheless quite entertaining. Some of them include:
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** "I deduce that this monster has approximately [[EleventyZillion eleventy-seven hojillion]] hit points.
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Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
** "I deduce that [[Expospeak Gag this monster's dilemmas number four score and nineteen]], [[{{Jay-Z}} yet none is feminine in origin.]]"
to:
** "I deduce that [[Expospeak Gag [[ExpospeakGag this monster's dilemmas number four score and nineteen]], [[{{Jay-Z}} yet none is feminine in origin.]]"
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Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
** "I deduce that [[IBonedYourMom I satisfied your mother last night.]]"
to:
** "I deduce that [[IBonedYourMom [[IBangedYourMom I satisfied your mother last night.]]"
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Changed line(s) 3,14 (click to see context) from:
* "I deduce that [[PennyArcade candy is delicious.]]"
* "I deduce that [[IBonedYourMom I satisfied your mother last night.]]"
* "I deduce that if you bet all of your Meat at the [[BettingMiniGame MMG]] right now, you will totally win. Seriously."
* "I deduce that this monster is a much better dancer than you."
* "I deduce that this monster is left-handed."
* "I deduce that this monster is much more attractive than you."
* "I deduce that this monster is much smarter than you."
* "I deduce that this monster is one jive turkey."
* "I deduce that this monster is totally going to kick your ass."
* "I deduce that [[Expospeak Gag this monster's dilemmas number four score and nineteen]], [[{{Jay-Z}} yet none is feminine in origin.]]"
* "I deduce that this monster's name is Frank, or possibly Brad."
* "I deduce that I make [[SelfImposedChallenge hardcore]] easier."
* "I deduce that [[IBonedYourMom I satisfied your mother last night.]]"
* "I deduce that if you bet all of your Meat at the [[BettingMiniGame MMG]] right now, you will totally win. Seriously."
* "I deduce that this monster is a much better dancer than you."
* "I deduce that this monster is left-handed."
* "I deduce that this monster is much more attractive than you."
* "I deduce that this monster is much smarter than you."
* "I deduce that this monster is one jive turkey."
* "I deduce that this monster is totally going to kick your ass."
* "I deduce that [[Expospeak Gag this monster's dilemmas number four score and nineteen]], [[{{Jay-Z}} yet none is feminine in origin.]]"
* "I deduce that this monster's name is Frank, or possibly Brad."
* "I deduce that I make [[SelfImposedChallenge hardcore]] easier."
to:
