History Funny / HomeAlone

-->'''Johnny:''' You was here last night too, wasn't ya?\\

* When Harry and Marv first spot Kevin and surprise him on a crowded New York street. Kevin's initial response? To scream as loudly as possible.
** They responde by looking around awkwardly. And Kevin just ''stands there'' a few seconds.

'''Mr. Hector''' ''(taken aback)'' I'm afraid you're mistaken, sir.\\

'''Security Guard:''' ''(everyone looks to this guard, whose nametag just happens to reads "Cliff", he is shocked as everyone else. One of them also has an expression that basically says "Cliff, [[DirtyOldMan is it true?]]")'' No. It's a lie!\\

* Marv's unexpected encounter with an electrified sink. Cue frantic screaming that gradually increases in pitch the longer it goes on, and his brief [[RuleOfFunny transformation into a screaming skeleton]]. Röntgen would not approve.

--->'''Harry''': '''''HEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!'''''

'''Kevin:''' [[SarcasmMode Good night Kevin!]]

-->'''Harry''': ''(ducking)'' HEADS UP!\\
'''Marv''': Huh? ''(gets walloped with the paint can and falls to the bottom of the steps)''\\
'''Harry''': Don't worry Marv, I'll get 'em for ya!\\
'''Marv''': HARRY! ''(points)''\\

-->'''Both''': You better watch out, you better not hide, if your doors are open, we're coming inside, Harry and Marv are coming to town !

-->'''Harry''': We know when you're out dancing.

-->'''Marv''': We know just what to take.

-->'''Both''': We know where all the money's hid, So come on, give us a break! You better watch out, you better not hide, if your doors are open, we're coming inside!, Harry and Marv are coming to toooown !

** If you look carefully, in his last question, a piece of donut sticks on the phone, and a moment later it fell off and you can heard it land on his desk.

* Marv tries to pry the basement door open with a crowbar... only to turn the knob and discover it was unlocked the whole time.

* "SUCK BRICK, KID!" [[spoiler: Marv's one-liner to Kevin once he has a brick in hand, clearly said in response to having suffered four thrown bricks to the face in less than two minutes from Kevin throwing said bricks from a three story rooftop.]]

-->'''Marv''': [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Uh-oh...]]\\

'''Marv''': I'm gonna murder that kid. ''[beat]'' ''ACHOO!'' *coughs*

-->'''Kate''': "What kind of hotel allows a child to check in alone?"\\
'''Hotel Employee''' "The boy had a very convincing story."\\
'''Kate''': ''(angrily)'' "What kind of idiots do you have working here?"\\
'''Hotel Employee''': ''(proudly)'' "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint The finest in New York.]]"

* Harry unknowingly lights his own head on fire with a light cord that Kevin has rigged up to a blowtorch. He inexplicably starts casually walking around the room--despite being able to tell Kevin's not there--for a few seconds, and doesn't realize what has happened to his head until he glimpses at the mirror.[[note]]Perhaps the blowtorch that burned his head in the first movie damaged the nerves in that part of his head[[/note]] He panics and after realizing that the sink faucets don't work because the plumbing is busted, he does a handstand on the rim of the toilet, not knowing that the liquid in the toilet has been replaced with paint thinner. The result is an explosion that ''blows out the entire first floor of the house'' but miraculously Harry survives with only a singed scalp and some soot on his face and teeth.

-->'''Kevin''': You guys giving up? Have you had enough ''pain''?\\
'''Marv''': '''''[[BigNever NEVAH!]]'''''

'''Peter''': '''KEVIN!''' '''''YOU SPENT $967 ON ROOM SERVICE?!?!!!'''''
** What makes this even funnier is the fact that modern audiences would think that's not terrifyingly much for a kid stuck in a city for a few days since modern pricing for the hotel Kevin stayed at can run about $600 for a few days. However, adjusting for inflation Kevin spent the 1992 equivalent of ''roughly $2000'' on ''room service alone.''

* As much of a JerkAss as he is, Buzz's prank during the performance is still pretty hilarious on its own - him holding the glowing (electronic) candles behind Kevin's ears, then pointing them towards his ears like arrows, then finally pretending to drum on his head with them (with very convincing motions and expression at that), all the while almost the entire audience are sent into hysterics.

* When Kevin photographs the bandits outside the toy store: "Hey guys! Smile!" - and Marv ''does!''
-->'''Harry''': "He took our picture!"\\
'''Marv''': "[[ComicallyMissingThePoint How'd my hair look?]]"

--> '''Frank''': You better not wreck this trip, you little sourpuss. Your dad's paid good money for it.\\
'''Kevin''': Oh, wouldn't want to spoil your fun, Mr. Cheapskate.

--> '''Marv''': ''(voiced dubbed by John [=McClane=])'' [[Film/DieHard2DieHarder How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?]]\\
'''Harry''': ''(kicks Marv)'' Shut up!

--> '''Harry''': Yep, there's nobody dumb enough to knock off a toy store on Christmas Eve.\\
'''Marv''': Oh yes there is... ''(points and himself and Harry)''

-->'''Kate''': The way I'm feeling, [[MamaBear no mugger or murderer would dare mess with me!]]\\
'''Mr. Hector''': Madam, there are hundreds of parasites out there, armed to the teeth-- ''(gets slapped across the face by Kate's glove)'' Do bundle up; it's awfully cold outside. ''(Lip quivering as he looks like he's struggling not to cry)''
* After arriving in New York fresh from a jailbreak, Marv immediately commits the dastardly crime of...snatching at a bucket full of change from a charity Santa Claus in passing.
-->'''Harry''': That's real smart, Marv. You bust out of jail to rob 14¢ from a Santee Claus?

--> '''Marv''': Hey, nice house! But there's no bathroom in it!
* When Kevin takes one of many photos of the Sticky Bandits, Marv actually smiles. And his biggest concern over being photographed and caught in the act of robbing Duncan's Toy Chest? "How did my hair look?"

-->'''Alice''': I need assistance. I'm exposed.\\
'''Beaupre''': Maintain your position. Do not, I repeat, do not draw attention to yourself.

-->'''Jernigan''': You smacked my winkie!\\
'''Alice''': Well, if you changed your shorts once in a while, maybe you wouldn't have RATS in your pants!

-->'''Police officer''': Freeze!\\
'''Unger''': [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe You gotta be kidding me]].
* The final shots of the movie reveal that [[spoiler:[[LaserGuidedKarma all four villains contracted chicken pox from Alex.]]]]

'''Kevin:''' I ''am'' upstairs, DUMMY! ''[they're on the second floor, but Kate was referring to the attic]''

--> '''Kate:''' ''(angry)'' "Somebody pick up... [[SuddenlyShouting PICKUP]]!"

* Kevin entering Buzz's room to get his lifesavings, and the bookcase he is climbing on ends up ''collapsing'' under him.
-->'''Kevin:''' ''(falling)'' '''WHOA!!'''

*** Marv then sticks his head through the doggy door to see just what happened... and stares right into the barrel of a BB gun. Cue OhCrapSmile.
** Harry takes on step on the slippery stairs on the front door and slips. Later, he climbs up and trips back down.

** [[AgonyOfTheFeet Marv steps on a nail, and then he screams in pain while grabbing his foot.]] Then he falls off the stairs. And this is after the tar on the steps has removed his socks and shoes.

* "SUCK BRICK!" [[spoiler: Marv's one-liner to Kevin once he has a brick in hand, clearly said in response to having suffered 4 thrown bricks to the face in less than 2 minutes from Kevin throwing said bricks from a 3 story rooftop.]]

** And before that he had to suffer a gauntlet of pain just to get up the front steps and into the door, starting with being pelted by bricks, followed by repeatedly getting shot by a powerful staple gun in the butt, [[GroinAttack groin]], and nose. After having enough and kicking the doors open he proudly shouts:

* Marv's [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl girly scream]] when being attacked by the pigeons.

* "I'm not apologizing to Buzz. [[WouldRatherSuffer I'd rather kiss a toilet seat.]]"

** And before that he had to suffer a gauntlet of pain just to get up the front steps and into the door, starting with being pelted by bricks, followed by repeatedly getting shot by a powerful staple gun in the butt, groin, and nose. After having enough and kicking the doors open he proudly shouts:

''(the bag hits him, flooring him; when he gets up, his hair is [[FunnyAfro puffed up]] and his face is all white)''\\

* Harry; "Smell that?"
Marv; *Sniffs* "Yeah."
Harry; "Know what that is?"
Marv; "Fish!"

--> '''Kate:''' ''(angry)'' "Somebody pick up... PICKUP!"

** Take note of the fact that when Marv falls backwards, he misses ''every single stair'' and lands flat on his back on the floor, but doesn't even react to that because he's too focused on his foot.

'''Security Guard:''' ''(everyone looks to this guard, whose nametag just happens to reads "Cliff", he is shocked as everyone else. One of them also has an expression that basically says "Cliff, [[DirtyOldMan is is true?]]")'' It's a lie!\\

'''Mr. Hector''': Madam, there are hundreds of parasites out there, armed to the teeth-- ''(gets slapped across the face by Kate's glove)'' Do bundle up; it's awfully cold. ''(Lip quivering as he looks like he's struggling not to cry)''

''(the bag hits him, flooring him; when he gets up, his hair if [[FunnyAfro puffed up]] and his face is all white)''\\

** Man, Peter must have ''powerful'' lungs if Kevin could hear him from that distance.

* Marv and Harry's BadBadActing as they try to fake Kevin out by pretending to get hit with the paint cans, having anticipated that he would try this, while Harry counts them off ("OW! Right in the ''SCHNOZZ!''"). Sadly, they fail to anticipate the lead pipe that knocks them down a moment later:

'''Alice''': Well, if you changed your pants once in a while, maybe you wouldn't have RATS in your pants!

* A behind-the-scenes example: the crew had a [[TheSwearJar swear jar]] on set because they didn't want the adult actors swearing in front of the kids. For Creator/JoePesci, who filmed this alongside his role as [[SirSwearsALot Tommy]] in ''Film/Goodfellas'', it took him all of one day to fill the entire thing.

--> '''Uncle Frank''': ''Horrible. Horrible. If this makes you feel better: I forgot my reading glasses.''

'''Sergeant Balzak:''' Has the child been involved in violence with a drunk family member?\\

'''Sergeant Balzak:''' Has the child ingested any poison or is an object lodged in his throat?\\

* The fact part of Kevin's job of revealing the bad guy's plan is from Marv ''"telling the cops himself"''.

** It's even funnier when you remember Kevin was upset over Pizza Boy not bringing enough cheese pizzas and realize he most likely gave him a cheapskate tip in petty revenge. Even funnier is how it's not really his fault Kevin's parents didn't order extra cheese pizzas.