History Funny / HitmanAbsolution

* Also, the court scene with the obvious Schizophrenic guy and the Prosecutor trying to get the judge to commit the man already. If you disguise 47 as the judge you get to pass judgement on him, [[spoiler:47 dismisses the case causing the man to start dancing around the court while the prosecutor exclaims "What the hell was that shit!?"]]
* While in the corn field with the Saints trying to kill you, one of them goes on a rant about how 47 is completely surrounded and is doomed... and you can garrote her while she's saying this.

* An UncomfortableElevatorMoment between 47 and a hyperactive Sushi Deliveryman.

* Diguising yourself as a Scarecrow allows you to prove just how good 47 is at impersonating inanimate objects; not only are the guards fooled, but so are the crows - which actually use you as a perch as time goes on.

Scientist 2: Really? Is that what they're calling it? [[MadLibThrillerTitle Sounds like a trashy]] [[AirportNovel airport novel]].\\

Scientist 2: Really? Is that what they're calling it? [[MadLibThrillerTitle Sounds like a trashy]] AirportNovel.\\

Scientist 2: Really? Is that what they're calling it? [[MadLibThrillerTitle Sounds like a trashy airport novel]].\\

Scientist 2: Really? Is that what they're calling it? Sounds like a trashy airport novel.\\
Scientist 2: Wait, I can see it now. (Does his best announcer impression) When a CIA agent is found dead on a pier, renegade journalist Jack Benson returns to face his personal demons and uncovers a secret file that reveals that shadowy government organization only known as...The Omega Facility!

--> '''Guard''': (''After hearing that he doesn't have cancer'') "Woah, man! [[TemptingFate No one can piss on this day!]]"
--> (''cue DestinationDefenestration'')

--> Cop 1 (All of them are watching a porno): The things that people do to get on camera these days.
--> Cop 2: Yeah. Hey, you know what we should do? Stop watching. Just stop.
--> Cop 3: Hey, you're right! we could start a, what's it called, a domino effect. We owe it to the youth of America.
--> Cop 1: Yep, we should just stop.
--> Cop 1: [[{{Hypocrite}} Man I love this part of the show!]]

--> Hotel Clerk (In the single most CampGay voice humanly possible): Have you seen those steel monkeys carrying around enough guns to start World War Three? And you're asking me if I'd rather be outside in the rain? Uh, hell yes!
--> Cop: Woah, okay okay, chill out.
--> Hotel Clerk: Don't you tell me to calm down! I know my rights, and I'm sitting here with people bitching at me about not being able to get into their homes!
--> Cop: [[SarcasmMode You must really love your job.]]
--> Hotel Clerk: Oh don't get me started.
--> Cop: [[DeadpanSnarker I think I just did.]]

--> Scientist 1: Did you hear? Steve got clearance to the Omega Facility.
--> Scientist 2: Really? Is that what they're calling it? Sounds like a trashy airport novel.
--> Scientist 2: Wait, I can see it now. (Does his best announcer impression) When a CIA agent is found dead on a pier, renegade journalist Jack Benson returns to face his personal demons and uncovers a secret file that reveals that shadowy government organization only known as...The Omega Facility!

-->'''Clerk''': "No one talks like that in real life!"
-->'''Patron''': "Yeah. So when in the [[PerfectlyCromulentWord hootenanny]] are you getting more ammo?"
-->'''Clerk''': "In a week or two, and that's true!"

* During the bar sequence, you can knock someone out. But instead of your cover being blown, it starts a barfight. The icing on the cake is a guy screaming "BARFIGHT!" into the camera before being socked in the face.

* BARFIGHT!!!! *PUNCH*

* "[[spoiler:Travis to Praetorians]]: we are on high alert. Dig in and shoot anyone who approaches. We are the ''best'', and now is the time to '''prove it!'''" If you time it right and shoot well enough, all the elite, unstoppable "best" will be dead by the time [[spoiler:Travis]] has spoken the last two words. Doubles as a [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome CMOA]], natch, but it's kind funny hearing him boast and bluster into a dead radio...

* The KarmicDeath of [[spoiler: Doctor Valentine]]; as well as being an amoral weapons designer for Dexter Industries, the guy's currently using the labs to formulate a cure for his [[BaldOfEvil baldness]]... and it's possible to spike the prototype hair tonic with another substance being developed at the same lab: ''' ''fire paste.'' ''' Long story short, [[spoiler: Valentine]] decides to [[ProfessorGuineaPig test the sabotaged tonic on himself]]; he has just enough time to [[HopeSpot to exclaim that it seems to be working]] before his head sponteneously combusts. [[ManOnFire Now on fire]], he dashes clean ''through'' the door, [[RailingKill bumps into the railing]] and falls thirty feet to his death.
* In the "Shangri-La" portion of the "Run For Your Life" mission, you can find a dance floor with music equipment in one of the rooms. If you walk up to the synthesizer, a button denoting "HIDE" will show up. Press the button, and watch as 47 [[CrowningMomentOfFunny starts getting down with his bad self]]. Again, keeping a straight face.

** There's another one in the gunstore where the guys inside are talking about the [[KaneAndLynch crazy guy shooting garden gnomes with a shotgun]] and how he is [[SirSwearsALot constantly]] [[ClusterFBomb swearing]]. They both conclude that he's trying to come off as cool, but just sounds stupid and immature, because [[SelfDeprecation nobody actually talks like that]] [[ThisIsReality in real life.]]

** There's another one in the gunstore where the guys inside are talking about the [[KaneAndLynch crazy guy shooting garden gnomes with a shotgun]] and how he is [[SirSwearsALot constantly]] [[ClusterFBomb swearing]]. They both conclude that he's trying to come off as cool, but just sounds stupid and immature, because [[TakeThatUs nobody actually talks like that]] [[ThisIsReality in real life.]]

* One way to deal with Bill in the Chinese New Year part of "Hunter and Hunted" is to steal Birdie's file. The reason? A crooked cop is trying to sell it to Bill, and when they go to look at it and it's gone, Bill assumes it's a setup - and [[TooDumbToLive pulls his gun on a police officer]]. Needless to say, he doesn't survive. Always fun when someone else does your dirty work, isn't it?

* While in the corn field with the Saints trying to kill you one of them goes on a rant about how 47 is completely surrounded and is doomed. And that's when you can garroted her while she's saying this.

* After 47 gets captured in the basement of the police station, Dexter and Skurky interrogate him on the whereabouts of [[spoiler:Lenny]]. After 47 [[ShutUpHannibal headbutts him in response]], Dexter starts hitting 47 with the first object within reach; it's not until a few slaps later that he [[{{Squick}} disgustingly]] realizes that it's actually [[spoiler:one of Skurky's sex-toys.]]

* An UncomfortableElevatorMoment between 47 and an hyperactive Sushi Deliveryman.

* Diguising yourself as a Scarecrow allows you to prove just how good 47 is at impersonating inanimate objects; not only are the guards fooled, but so are the crows- which actually use you as a perch as time goes on.
* The KarmicDeath of [[spoiler: Doctor Valentine]]; as well as being an amoral weapons designer for Dexter Industries, the guy's currently using the labs formulate a cure for his [[BaldOfEvil baldness]]... and it's possible to spike the prototype hair tonic with another substance being developed at the same lab: ''' ''fire paste.'' ''' Long story short, [[spoiler: Valentine]] decides to [[ProfessorGuineaPig test the sabotaged tonic on himself]]; he has just enough time to [[HopeSpot to exclaim that it seems to be working]] before his head sponteneously combusts. [[ManOnFire Now on fire]], he dashes clean ''through'' the door, [[RailingKill bumps into the railing]] and falls thirty feet to his death.

* In the level "A Murder of Crows" in ''Blood Money'', if you walk into one of the clubs and wait around for a while, 47 will eventually [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJNEDx5NQ48 start dancing]], all the while keeping that [[TheStoic straight]], [[TheComicallySerious emotionless]] expression on his face.
** Similarly, in the "Shangri-La" portion of the "Run For Your Life" mission, you can find a dance floor with music equipment in one of the rooms. If you walk up to the synthesizer, a button denoting "HIDE" will show up. Press the button, and watch as 47 [[CrowningMomentOfFunny starts getting down with his bad self]]. Again, keeping a straight face.