History Funny / HackSlash

** In BlackComedy, the method by which Salome survived her PsychicAssistedSuicide. She put a screwdriver in an electrical outlet... but was standing on a rubber sex toy.

'''Cassie:''' [[PopCulturalOsmosisFailure Do you wanna call back after the Cocoa Puffs have worn off?]]

'''Chris:''' ''[=SuicideGirls=]!''

** Chris's repeated commentary on how hot he considers the idea of the [=SuicideGirls=] offices and the website in general (which he admits includes people like Cassie, while being one of her best friends). It gets to the point that Cassie notes she’s going to look into BrainBleach. And then he ''keeps going''.
--->'''Cassie:''' There is something ''so'' wrong with you.

'''Cassie'''(grinning): 'Cause I did.\\

** The InUniverse justification for the {{Defictionalization}} of Cassie as a Suicide Girl. She is ''not'' happy about the photo shoot, and even less when it comes up again in ''Super Sidekick Sleepover Slaughter prequel'' on the radio.

** Chris's repeated commentary on how hot he considers the idea of the [=SuicideGirls=] offices. It gets to the point that Cassie notes she’s going to look into BrainBleach.

* In ''The Coldest Dish'', Cassie is going over her list of possible aliases for her DisappearedDad, and ends up accidentally checking out a guy who walks by her table.
-->'''Cassie:''' (''thinking'') Did I just... I did. I totally just stared that guy down. I looked him up and down. Like people do when they wonder what someone looks like without clothes. What their "Oh God!" face looks like. Okay. ''Stop.''

* Also from ''The Coldest Dish'', Chris's capture of Pooch. After his first reaction to being given his first mission as a Hack/Slash, Inc. member by Cassie[[note]]"I hate you."[[/note]], he spends his time driving around with a van covered in Cassie's used panties. [[RefugeInAudacity It works.]]

-->'''Cassie:''' (''thinking'') Did I just... I did. I totally just stared that guy down. I looked him up and down. Like people do when they wonder what someone looks like without clothes. What their "Oh God!" face looks like.

'''Vlad''': No\\

Vlad silently ducks down and comes back up wearing his gas mask

-->'''Neflord 1''': "I/we will fill that one with seed first."
-->'''Neflord 2''':"That one is male."
-->'''Neflord 1''': "But so pretty!"

* Cassie and Vlad disguising themselves as Sister Sacrilege and Altar Boy in ''Super Sidekick Sleepover Slaughter''. Apparently Anjelica (the first Sister Sacrilege) [[CasualKink has a gimp mask in her "odds and ends"]].
* Cassie in ''Monster Baiting'': "I let my guard down, just for a second, and this is what I get. I should have known this was going to end with me ''punching a dinosaur in the brain''."

* From ''Fame Monster'':
-->'''Neflord 1''': "I/we will fill that one with seed first."
-->'''Neflord 2''':"That one is male."
-->'''Neflord 1''': "But so pretty!"
* In one story, [[TeamPet Pooch]] absentmindedly tells Chris about how he was born, a story which involves {{Eldritch Abomination}}s, naughty tentacles and loads of squick. At first, it looks like Chris isn't even listening, but after Pooch finishes, he, after a bit of silence, states "[[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain Pooch... never tell me that story ]]''[[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain ever again]]''".

* From '‘ Over the Rainbow'':
--->'''Cassie''': Vlad, did you just fart?
--->'''Vlad''': No
--->'''Cassie'''(grinning): 'Cause I did.
--->Vlad silently ducks down and comes back up wearing his gas mask

--->'''Chucky''' (showing the doll): Found your little self voodoo doll. Been sticking pick in it since I got here. It don't work for shit. [...] Now I say we skip the middle man. Who needs doll... when you can put nails right into the man? (shoots Sugar with a nailgun)

* This conversation between Cassie and Vlad while riding in tthe van

* Cassie and Vlad disguising themselves as Sister Sacrilege and Altar Boy in ''Super Sidekick Sleepover Slaughter'', to name but one example.

* Cassie Hack [[http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa248/taelor_mcclurg/CassieVsPokemon.png versus Pokemon.]]
-->'''Cassie:''' (''hacking Pokemon expies to bits'') Come get it you lil' fuckers! Lil' Japanese gut bags! Yeah, that's right! Only good for giving seizures, ain't ya!

* "I let my guard down, just for a second, and this is what I get. I should have known this was going to end with me ''punching a dinosaur in the brain''."

* In ''Vs. Chucky'', Cassie has [[EnemyMine to team up with]] [[Film/ChildsPlay Chucky the Killer Doll]] in order to help Vlad, whose body has been stolen by Laura Loch. The team up between a teenage SerialKillerKiller and an AxCrazy PerversePuppet goes [[TeethClenchedTeamwork about as well as you would expect]], and a few nice hijinks ensue, such as Cassie stopping Chucky from randomly trying to kill a girl for fun, Chucky teasingly offering her to "[[UnusualEuphemism ride the Chuck Truck]]", or this exchange:
-->'''Chucky''' (watching Cassie take care of Vlad): You guys are real sweet-like. Taking care of each other. [[TastesLikeDiabetes Make me wanna puke]].
-->'''Cass''': [[DeadpanSnarker Yeah, you're just jealous because G.I. Joe and Barbie don't hang out with you anymore.]]
** Similarly, Laura Loch apparently has ''a lot'' of fun going around in Vlad's body:
-->'''Laura Loch''' (in Vlad's body, singing): This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine! (to her zombified minions) Come on! Sing with me! This little light of mine... (the zombies predictably just stand there drooling, showing no reaction)... you guys are, like, no fun.

-->'''Laura Loch''' (in Vlad's body, singing): This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine! (to her zombified minions) Come on! Sing with me! This little light of mine... (the zombies predictably just stand there drooling, showing no reaction)... you guys are, like, no fun.

* "I let my guard down, jut for a second, and this is what I get. I should have known this was going to end with me ''punching a dinosaur in the brain''."

-->'''Neflord 1''': "But so pretty!"

* "I let my guard down, jut for a second, and this is what I get. I should have known this was going to end with me ''punching a dinosaur in the brain''."

* "I let my guard down, jut for a second, and this is what I get. I should have known this was going to end with me ''punching a dinosaur in the brain''."
* CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming: Pooch protecting Chris, Lisa, Kyle and, in his words, even the animals in the clinic, from the elite Nef agent in ''Closer'', almost resulting in an HeroicSacrifice.
** Cassie selling her mother's wedding ring to help the sick Vlad in ''Love Stories''.
** At the end of the first issue, Cassie, after stoically enduring all of Doctor Gross's torture and mind rape, breaks down, and is comforted by Vlad.