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Changed line(s) 112,113 (click to see context) from:
* '''And onward:'''
** "I am ''so'' not geared for this instance!"
** "I am ''so'' not geared for this instance!"
to:
* '''And onward:'''
** "I am ''so'' not geared for this instance!"'''Episode Twenty-Five:'''
** "I am ''so'' not geared for this instance!"
Changed line(s) 122 (click to see context) from:
** This gem from the finale: "Why is everything collapsing? What the fuck!? Was it a [[LoadBearingBoss load bearing squid?]]"
to:
** This gem from the finale: gem: "Why is everything collapsing? What the fuck!? Was it a [[LoadBearingBoss load bearing squid?]]"
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Changed line(s) 106 (click to see context) from:
* '''And onward:'''
to:
* '''And onward:''''''Episode Twenty-One:'''
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* '''And onward:'''
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Changed line(s) 102 (click to see context) from:
* Just before Gordon's Oxycontin fully kicks in.
to:
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* '''Episode Eighteen:'''
* Just before Gordon's Oxycontin fully kicks in.
-->"Oh my god, this is the single best ladder I have ever climbed in my entire life. I love this ladder, it's so... good. I just wan- I just wanna stay here. Climbing it forever. I-I'm just gonna take a minute to sit here, because of how good this ladder is. This ladder is so awesome. I want to find whoever built this ladder and just give him a hug, y'know? Wow!"
* '''Episode Nineteen:'''
** (hanging on to a ladder) "What's that ladder? You want me to take my clothes off?"
* Just before Gordon's Oxycontin fully kicks in.
-->"Oh my god, this is the single best ladder I have ever climbed in my entire life. I love this ladder, it's so... good. I just wan- I just wanna stay here. Climbing it forever. I-I'm just gonna take a minute to sit here, because of how good this ladder is. This ladder is so awesome. I want to find whoever built this ladder and just give him a hug, y'know? Wow!"
* '''Episode Nineteen:'''
** (hanging on to a ladder) "What's that ladder? You want me to take my clothes off?"
Deleted line(s) 102,104 (click to see context) :
** (hanging on to a ladder) "What's that ladder? You want me to take my clothes off?"
*** Just before Gordon's Oxycontin fully kicks in.
*** "This is the best ladder ever!!"
*** Just before Gordon's Oxycontin fully kicks in.
*** "This is the best ladder ever!!"
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* '''Episode Seventeen:'''
** (Notices 4 dead marines right next to some aliens) "Come on, get up Williams! Hey! Damn it. Jones! Maxwell! (notices the fourth body) Err, ummm, Well... I don't remember your name. But you're dead too, that sucks!"
** When he's on a bridge...
-->"What the fuck does that mean, what obstruction? [notices the [[BigCreepyCrawlies Pit Worm]]] Oh. [[OhCrap SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!]]
** (Notices 4 dead marines right next to some aliens) "Come on, get up Williams! Hey! Damn it. Jones! Maxwell! (notices the fourth body) Err, ummm, Well... I don't remember your name. But you're dead too, that sucks!"
** When he's on a bridge...
-->"What the fuck does that mean, what obstruction? [notices the [[BigCreepyCrawlies Pit Worm]]] Oh. [[OhCrap SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!]]
Deleted line(s) 101 (click to see context) :
** (Notices 4 dead marines right next to some aliens) "Come on, get up Williams! Hey! Damn it. Jones! Maxwell! (notices the fourth body) Err, ummm, Well... I don't remember your name. But you're dead too, that sucks!"
Deleted line(s) 107,108 (click to see context) :
** When he's on a bridge...
-->"What the fuck does that mean, what obstruction? [notices the [[BigCreepyCrawlies Pit Worm]]] Oh. [[OhCrap SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!]]
-->"What the fuck does that mean, what obstruction? [notices the [[BigCreepyCrawlies Pit Worm]]] Oh. [[OhCrap SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!]]
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* '''Episode Fifteen:'''
** '''ADRIAN KICKS ASS'''
* '''Episode Sixteen:'''
** (after finding out that his Spore Launcher pet doubles as a rocket launcher) [[Film/FullMetalJacket "This is my weird slime spitting alien gun thing. There are many like it, but this one is mine."]]
** '''ADRIAN KICKS ASS'''
* '''Episode Sixteen:'''
** (after finding out that his Spore Launcher pet doubles as a rocket launcher) [[Film/FullMetalJacket "This is my weird slime spitting alien gun thing. There are many like it, but this one is mine."]]
Deleted line(s) 94 (click to see context) :
** (after finding out that his Spore Launcher pet doubles as a rocket launcher) [[Film/FullMetalJacket "This is my weird slime spitting alien gun thing. There are many like it, but this one is mine."]]
Deleted line(s) 104 (click to see context) :
** '''ADRIAN KICKS ASS'''
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Changed line(s) 84 (click to see context) from:
* '''And onward:'''
to:
* '''And onward:''''''Episode Twelve:'''
* '''Episode Thirteen:'''
** [[[ItMakesSenseInContext after being ported out of the floor]]]:
-->"Where are my pants?!\\
[*ZAP!*]\\
"Oh there they are."
* '''And onward:'''
** [[[ItMakesSenseInContext after being ported out of the floor]]]:
-->"Where are my pants?!\\
[*ZAP!*]\\
"Oh there they are."
* '''And onward:'''
Changed line(s) 97,101 (click to see context) from:
'''Shepahrd''': [''still talking to the skeleton''] I know... you were just following orders. It wasn't your fault, soldier. [''sits down next to the skeleton and starts crying'']
** [[[ItMakesSenseInContext after being ported out of the floor]]]:
-->"Where are my pants?!\\
[*ZAP!*]\\
"Oh there they are."
** [[[ItMakesSenseInContext after being ported out of the floor]]]:
-->"Where are my pants?!\\
[*ZAP!*]\\
"Oh there they are."
to:
** [[[ItMakesSenseInContext after being ported out of the floor]]]:
-->"Where are my pants?!\\
[*ZAP!*]\\
"Oh there they are."
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Changed line(s) 71 (click to see context) from:
* '''Episode Ten and onward:'''
to:
* '''Episode Ten and onward:'''Ten:'''
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* '''Episode Eleven:'''
Added DiffLines:
* '''And onward:'''
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Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
** Taking a page out of Ross' book, Krismin made an episode 0 with the tutorial. At one point he starts singing the Smurf's theme but with replacing every sound with the word "guns". Then there's his reaction to have to go through the manatory "getting shot with a shotgun" test.
to:
** Taking a page out of Ross' book, Krismin made an episode 0 with the tutorial. At one point he starts singing the Smurf's theme but with replacing replaces every sound with the word "guns". Then there's his reaction to have to go through the manatory mandatory "getting shot with a shotgun" test.
Changed line(s) 21 (click to see context) from:
** "Hey guys. Are you feeling just a little bit...[[CannonFodder expendable?]] Or is it just me?
to:
** "Hey guys. Are you feeling just a little bit... [[CannonFodder expendable?]] Or is it just me?
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Changed line(s) 125 (click to see context) from:
* From Episode 15 part 2, he teleports next to the [[CallBack computer lab in Sector C that was blasting loud techno music.]]
to:
* From Episode 15 part 2, shortly before the conversation with Shepard, he teleports next to the [[CallBack computer lab in Sector C that was blasting loud techno music.]]
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Changed line(s) 114 (click to see context) from:
* From Episode 10: "There's no way anyone could defeat this robot. I know one man who could: ChuckNorris. He could!"
to:
* From Episode 10: "There's no way anyone could defeat this robot. I know one man who could: ChuckNorris.Creator/ChuckNorris. He could!"
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
* And now for the next part in this 19-part series on pain, emotional loss, and psychological torment. [[MoodWhiplash Brought to you by Red Bull!]] Now with more [[MythologyGag electrified toxic waste]]! Red Bull gives you ''cancer''!
to:
* And "And now for the next part in this 19-part series on pain, emotional loss, and psychological torment. [[MoodWhiplash Brought to you by Red Bull!]] Now with more [[MythologyGag electrified toxic waste]]! Red Bull gives you ''cancer''!''cancer''!"
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
* Red Bull — now with 50% more [[MythologyGag electrified toxic waste]]! Red Bull gives you ''cancer''!
to:
* And now for the next part in this 19-part series on pain, emotional loss, and psychological torment. [[MoodWhiplash Brought to you by Red Bull — now Bull!]] Now with 50% more [[MythologyGag electrified toxic waste]]! Red Bull gives you ''cancer''!
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Changed line(s) 126,128 (click to see context) from:
--> ''Douchebag'': "Are roads a recomendation too?"
--> ''Barney'': "Screw roads! [[Film/BackToTheFuture Where we're going, we don't need roads]]!"
--> ''Douchebag'': "...You're not funny..."
--> ''Barney'': "Screw roads! [[Film/BackToTheFuture Where we're going, we don't need roads]]!"
--> ''Douchebag'': "...You're not funny..."
to:
--> ''Douchebag'': '''Douchebag''': "Are roads a recomendation too?"
-->''Barney'': '''Barney''': "Screw roads! [[Film/BackToTheFuture Where we're going, we don't need roads]]!"
roads!]]"
-->''Douchebag'': '''Douchebag''': "...You're not funny..."funny."
--> '''Barney''': "Nobody asked you!"
-->
-->
--> '''Barney''': "Nobody asked you!"
Changed line(s) 130,133 (click to see context) from:
--> ''[=EV91=]'': "...comply or you will be shot down."
--> ''Barney'': "Lies! Where's the transmit button? Oh here. Hey fighter jets, I just survived an alien invasion, SCREW YOU!"
--> ''Douchebag'': "Yeah, piss the pilot off in a million dollar fighter jet with tons of missiles."
--> ''Barney'': "Bah, they can't us missiles in here.[[BuffySpeak Too much canyon]].
--> ''Barney'': "Lies! Where's the transmit button? Oh here. Hey fighter jets, I just survived an alien invasion, SCREW YOU!"
--> ''Douchebag'': "Yeah, piss the pilot off in a million dollar fighter jet with tons of missiles."
--> ''Barney'': "Bah, they can't us missiles in here.[[BuffySpeak Too much canyon]].
to:
--> ''[=EV91=]'': '''[=EV91=]''': "...comply or you will be shot down."
-->''Barney'': '''Barney''': "Lies! Where's the transmit button? Oh here. Hey fighter jets, I just survived an alien invasion, SCREW YOU!"
-->''Douchebag'': '''Douchebag''': "Yeah, piss the pilot off in a million dollar fighter jet with tons of missiles."
-->''Barney'': '''Barney''': "Bah, they can't us use missiles in here.here. [[BuffySpeak Too much canyon]].canyon.]]"
-->
-->
-->
Changed line(s) 135,139 (click to see context) from:
--> ''Barney'': "Let's see if we can lose them in that canyon down there."
--> ''Douchebag'': "What?! I'd rather go to the airbase."
--> ''Barney'': "Screw that! Dig deeper in your pants for a bigger set of balls because there's no way in hell I'm going with the military! You wanna go? Fine! Door's right there."
--> ''Douchebag'': "Okay but you better not get us killed."
--> Barney: "No promises!"
--> ''Douchebag'': "What?! I'd rather go to the airbase."
--> ''Barney'': "Screw that! Dig deeper in your pants for a bigger set of balls because there's no way in hell I'm going with the military! You wanna go? Fine! Door's right there."
--> ''Douchebag'': "Okay but you better not get us killed."
--> Barney: "No promises!"
to:
--> ''Barney'': '''Barney''': "Let's see if we can lose them in that canyon down there."
-->''Douchebag'': '''Douchebag''': "What?! I'd rather go to the airbase."
-->''Barney'': '''Barney''': "Screw that! Dig deeper in your pants for a bigger set of balls because there's no way in hell I'm going with the military! You wanna go? Fine! Door's right there."
-->''Douchebag'': '''Douchebag''': "Okay but you better not get us killed."
-->Barney: '''Barney''': "No promises!"
-->
-->
-->
-->
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Changed line(s) 26 (click to see context) from:
** Thus starts he rein as a dropper of the ClusterFBomb.
to:
** Thus starts he his rein as a dropper of the ClusterFBomb.
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Changed line(s) 66 (click to see context) from:
** Then teh soldier with Shephard says the area is secure, but while Shephard charges his suit you can [[FunnyBackGroundEvent hear the soldier getting his ass handed to him by a Black Ops agent.]]
to:
** Then teh the soldier with Shephard says the area is secure, but while Shephard charges his suit you can [[FunnyBackGroundEvent hear the soldier getting his ass handed to him by a Black Ops agent.]]
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* From Episode 15 part 2, he teleports next to the [[CallBack computer lab in Sector C that was blasting loud techno music.]]
--> '''Barney''': *hears techno music* "What the hell?" *walks to the door to computer lab* "...I don't even want to know." *walks away*
--> '''Barney''': *hears techno music* "What the hell?" *walks to the door to computer lab* "...I don't even want to know." *walks away*
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Changed line(s) 74 (click to see context) from:
'''Shephard:''' Did he just say Freeman?! OHHH, it is my lucky day, I'm going to kick this guy's ass so fucking hard! HEY, GET BACK HERE YOU BIG ORANGE FUCK! *Freeman jumps into the portal*
to:
'''Shephard:''' Did he just say Freeman?! OHHH, it is my lucky day, I'm going to kick this guy's ass so fucking hard! HEY, GET BACK HERE YOU BIG ORANGE FUCK! FUCK/BACKRUBS! *Freeman jumps into the portal*
Changed line(s) 124,126 (click to see context) from:
--> Douchebag: "Are roads a recomendation too?"
--> Barney: "Screw roads! [[Film/BackToTheFuture Where we're going, we don't need roads]]!"
--> Douchebag: "...You're not funny..."
--> Barney: "Screw roads! [[Film/BackToTheFuture Where we're going, we don't need roads]]!"
--> Douchebag: "...You're not funny..."
to:
--> Douchebag: ''Douchebag'': "Are roads a recomendation too?"
-->Barney: ''Barney'': "Screw roads! [[Film/BackToTheFuture Where we're going, we don't need roads]]!"
-->Douchebag: ''Douchebag'': "...You're not funny..."
-->
-->
Changed line(s) 128,131 (click to see context) from:
--> EV91: "...comply or you will be shot down."
--> Barney: "Lies! Where's the transmit button? Oh here. Hey fighter jets, I just survived an alien invasion, SCREW YOU!"
--> Douchebag: "Yeah, piss the pilot off in a million dollar fighter jet with tons of missiles."
--> Barney: "Bah, they can't us missiles in here.[[BuffySpeak Too much canyon]].
--> Barney: "Lies! Where's the transmit button? Oh here. Hey fighter jets, I just survived an alien invasion, SCREW YOU!"
--> Douchebag: "Yeah, piss the pilot off in a million dollar fighter jet with tons of missiles."
--> Barney: "Bah, they can't us missiles in here.[[BuffySpeak Too much canyon]].
to:
--> EV91: ''[=EV91=]'': "...comply or you will be shot down."
-->Barney: ''Barney'': "Lies! Where's the transmit button? Oh here. Hey fighter jets, I just survived an alien invasion, SCREW YOU!"
-->Douchebag: ''Douchebag'': "Yeah, piss the pilot off in a million dollar fighter jet with tons of missiles."
-->Barney: ''Barney'': "Bah, they can't us missiles in here.[[BuffySpeak Too much canyon]].
-->
-->
-->
Changed line(s) 133,136 (click to see context) from:
--> Barney: "Let's see if we can lose them in that canyon down there."
--> Douchebag: "What?! I'd rather go to the airbase."
--> Barney: "Screw that! Dig deeper in your pants for a bigger set of balls because there's no way in hell I'm going with the military! You wanna go? Fine! Door's right there."
--> Douchebag: "Okay but you better not get us killed."
--> Douchebag: "What?! I'd rather go to the airbase."
--> Barney: "Screw that! Dig deeper in your pants for a bigger set of balls because there's no way in hell I'm going with the military! You wanna go? Fine! Door's right there."
--> Douchebag: "Okay but you better not get us killed."
to:
--> Barney: ''Barney'': "Let's see if we can lose them in that canyon down there."
-->Douchebag: ''Douchebag'': "What?! I'd rather go to the airbase."
-->Barney: ''Barney'': "Screw that! Dig deeper in your pants for a bigger set of balls because there's no way in hell I'm going with the military! You wanna go? Fine! Door's right there."
-->Douchebag: ''Douchebag'': "Okay but you better not get us killed."
-->
-->
-->
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Changed line(s) 84 (click to see context) from:
** (after finding out that his Spore Launcher pet doubles as a rocket launcher) [[FullMetalJacket "This is my weird slime spitting alien gun thing. There are many like it, but this one is mine."]]
to:
** (after finding out that his Spore Launcher pet doubles as a rocket launcher) [[FullMetalJacket [[Film/FullMetalJacket "This is my weird slime spitting alien gun thing. There are many like it, but this one is mine."]]
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Changed line(s) 151 (click to see context) from:
** The entire conversation with the woman in the bar.
to:
** The entire conversation with the woman Rose of Sharon Cassidy in the bar.
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Added DiffLines:
** "I was joking when I said I wanted something that could make me forget the last hour! I didn't mean it!"
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Added DiffLines:
* Season 3: Episode 4:
** The entire conversation with the woman in the bar.
** The entire conversation with the woman in the bar.
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Changed line(s) 148 (click to see context) from:
* Season 3: Episode 1
to:
* Season 3: Episode 11:
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[[/folder]]
[[folder:Courier's Mind]]
* Season 3: Episode 1
--> Courier: Ah...another day and another job well done. I think I'll go and thank my employer for being such a reasonable guy. (enters building) [[SuddenlyShouting JACKSON, YOU PRICK! WHERE ARE YOU?!]]
[[folder:Courier's Mind]]
* Season 3: Episode 1
--> Courier: Ah...another day and another job well done. I think I'll go and thank my employer for being such a reasonable guy. (enters building) [[SuddenlyShouting JACKSON, YOU PRICK! WHERE ARE YOU?!]]
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Added DiffLines:
**"I wanna know who this "Freeman" character is, and why he's got everyone so riled up. I bet he's like some evil scientist who drops people down elevator shafts, or collects human skulls, or something... Actually, nah, he's probably just a nerd."
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Added DiffLines:
** Shephard has just pulled off an admittedly sweet kill, and is more than a little pleased with himself:
--->'''Shephard:''' DUDE. NICE. Ho-oh-oh, that could not have gone better for me! That was a classic decoy maneuver. He was all like, "Oh shit, a grenade!", and I was all like, "You should have been paying attention to me!", and he was all like, "Oh shit, a gun!", and I was all like, "BANG!", and he was all like, "Oh fuck, I'm dead". ADRIAN WINS. FLAWLESS VICTORY.
** Shephard tries to make small talk with a scientist:
--->'''Shephard:''' So, hey, do you...do you read any Terry Pratchett?
--->'''Scientist:''' ''(Killed by an exploding door)''
--->'''Shephard:''' ...Okay, what does ''exploding'' mean? Is it "yes"? Do you explode twice if you want to say "no"?
--->'''Shephard:''' DUDE. NICE. Ho-oh-oh, that could not have gone better for me! That was a classic decoy maneuver. He was all like, "Oh shit, a grenade!", and I was all like, "You should have been paying attention to me!", and he was all like, "Oh shit, a gun!", and I was all like, "BANG!", and he was all like, "Oh fuck, I'm dead". ADRIAN WINS. FLAWLESS VICTORY.
** Shephard tries to make small talk with a scientist:
--->'''Shephard:''' So, hey, do you...do you read any Terry Pratchett?
--->'''Scientist:''' ''(Killed by an exploding door)''
--->'''Shephard:''' ...Okay, what does ''exploding'' mean? Is it "yes"? Do you explode twice if you want to say "no"?
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Deleted line(s) 1 (click to see context) :
Added DiffLines:
** After getting shot at by Black Ops for the first time:
--->'''Shephard:''' Wait, wait! Just wait a second! It's me! It's Corporal Shephard!
--->(They continue shooting at him.)
--->'''Shephard:''' AAAHH!! I mean, I mean, I mean Corporal - Corporal Swanson!
--->'''Shephard:''' Wait, wait! Just wait a second! It's me! It's Corporal Shephard!
--->(They continue shooting at him.)
--->'''Shephard:''' AAAHH!! I mean, I mean, I mean Corporal - Corporal Swanson!
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Added DiffLines:
We cannot forget about the other Minds:
[[folder:Chell's Mind]]
* Mary had a little lamb,/ her father shot it dead./ Now it goes to school with her/ between two chunks of bread!
* Red Bull — now with 50% more [[MythologyGag electrified toxic waste]]! Red Bull gives you ''cancer''!
* Also her losing battle with her subconscious:
--->'''Chell''': I'm ''not'' crazy.
--->'''Chell's mind''': ''Yeesss yoouuu aaaarrreee...''
* Chell's rant after the Aperture Science Emancipation Grid actually emancipates her tooth.
--->'''Chell''': Vy toof! Vy toof!
--->Following the Emancipation Grill incident: "I ''hate'' this place, with its big retarded cubes that don't even have food in them, and that computer's compulsive lying, and all the creepy stains on the floor, and the Scaffold of Death, but most of all, ''most of all'', I hate this stupid rickety elevator, and its infuriating Emancipation Grid! A plague on both your houses! And your summer homes! And your ''shower curtains''!
* Ugh, it's worse than being trapped in an unventilated room after spraying an entire bottle of Tilex on every wall and rubbing my face in it! [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Which I have never done. Not even when I was drunk.]]
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Shephard's Mind]]
* '''Episode Zero:'''
** Taking a page out of Ross' book, Krismin made an episode 0 with the tutorial. At one point he starts singing the Smurf's theme but with replacing every sound with the word "guns". Then there's his reaction to have to go through the manatory "getting shot with a shotgun" test.
** Jackson's lack of focus and Shephard's terrible leadership skills.
** "Hey guys. Are you feeling just a little bit...[[CannonFodder expendable?]] Or is it just me?
* '''Episode One:'''
** "Is that the Sergent? I'm [[ComedicSociopathy not gonna miss a chance to see him in pain!"]]
* '''Episode Two:'''
** *finds a Vortigant with a knife in its back* "Oh my God... Is that a ''knife''?" *five seconds later* "HOLY FREAKING CRAP, IS THAT AN ALIEN?!"
** Tries to whistle, but fails.
--->'''Shephard:''' [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK]], I wish I could whistle!
** Thus starts he rein as a dropper of the ClusterFBomb.
** Shephard's a gamer.
--->'''Shephard:''' *stabs head crab* Attack the weak point for massive damage.
** I could've been at a barbarque! *kicks dead alien*
* '''Episode Three:'''
** The RunningGag, "Electrified Toxic Waste," starts here.
--->'''Shephard:''' "High voltage"? *throws head up* I guess this is where they make the ELECTIFIED toxic waste! It's more dangerous than the sum of it's parts!
** I'm the Nostradamus of FUCKING up!
* '''Episode Four:'''
** This:
--->'''Otis:''' Fighting aliens is not on my job description.\\
'''Shephard:''' Yeah, but it probably looks great on your resumé.
* '''Episode Five:'''
** Shephard finds a phone and tries to call for help. It doesn't go well.
-->'''Shephard''': Yes, thank you, please put me on with your supervisor- NO DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD! [''slams phone''] RRRGH JUST DIE! [''fires pistol'']\\
'''Shephard''': [''calmly, to the scientist, who awkwardly looks up at the ceiling''] The phone's dead. *HardCut to intro*
** "I'm going to shove [The G-Man's] briefcase so far up his ass he'll have to open his mouth to scan his ID!"
** Shepard's ImagineSpot where he kills a trio of Vortigaunts with his bare hands. Cut to him running around and wildly firing an MP5 while screaming instead.
* '''Episode Six:'''
** Okay, so your whole advice was [[CaptainObvious aliens are attacking and I should leave]]. [[SarcasmMode Thanks for the update, ]]''[[SarcasmMode dumbass!]]''
* '''Episode Eight:'''
** (Sees Freeman's Employee of the Month photo) "Yeah, yeah, how's that working out for ya now? I bet that guy's wishing he'd taken the opening of a high school science teacher right about now."
** Shephard gets choked by an Barnacle then claims he shoot the next one he sees right off the bat just AS HE WALKS INTO ANOTHER ONE.
** Electrified toxic waste.
--->'''Shephard:''' Oh for Christ's sake- You know, I just wonder what the going rate is for a barrel of electrified toxic waste. It's obviously pretty high. Maybe they're using it as some kind of alternate energy source.
* '''Episode Nine:'''
** The friendly fire incident.
--->'''Shephard:''' Damn it, it's another turret. *takes a shot towards the gun forgetting the engineer in there. soldier explodes* {{Beat}} OH SHIT, I think I hit that guy's gas tank! Is he okay- *glances in and sees gibs and blood* Oh my God, not again...\\
'''Medic:''' Recon team: check in!\\
'''Shephard:''' Check in? *looks in the door* ... [[{{Understatement}} Uh, I don't think he can hear you, dude.]]\\
'''Medic:''' Man, my dogs are BARKING!
** Shephard starts taking Black Ops agents out by [[GroinAttack shooting them in the groin]] and not just the guys, but the women too!
** Shephard's many ill-advised attempts to hit on the female black-ops assassins:
-->'''Shephard:''' "Hey, is that a mirror in your pocket? Because you JUST SHOT ME IN THE KNEE! OW!"
*** It doesn't help that he hits on them AFTER shooting three of their comrades in the groin right in front of them.
** Then teh soldier with Shephard says the area is secure, but while Shephard charges his suit you can [[FunnyBackGroundEvent hear the soldier getting his ass handed to him by a Black Ops agent.]]
--->'''Shephard:''' Aah, what the HELL! I thought you said it was secure!
** Shephard sneaking up on a Black Ops ambush by hiding behind a crate. Then he accidentally backs into another room in plain sight of a couple of Black Ops soldiers and freaks out and fires his gun everywhere (even better, the soldiers don't even react until he opens fire.)
* '''Episode Ten and onward:'''
** A nice little CallBack to the Chocolate Bar.
--->'''Scientist:''' (over the intercom) It's ready, you must hurry!\\
'''Shephard:''' Who's there?! Come out where I can see you! I have a half-melted chocolate bar and I'm not afraid to eat it! ... Cause- cause it'd be good...\\
'''Scientist:''' (over the intercom) Hurry up Freeman! I can't keep it open forever.\\
'''Shephard:''' Did he just say Freeman?! OHHH, it is my lucky day, I'm going to kick this guy's ass so fucking hard! HEY, GET BACK HERE YOU BIG ORANGE FUCK! *Freeman jumps into the portal*
** The entire conversation with Barney while he's trapped in the locker.
*** "One, one, one... no. One, one, two. No. One, one..."
*** And after he realizes the doors opens inward and gets out, "Oh, GOD! I'm a moron!"
** (after finding out that his Spore Launcher pet doubles as a rocket launcher) [[FullMetalJacket "This is my weird slime spitting alien gun thing. There are many like it, but this one is mine."]]
** (hanging on to a ladder) "What's that ladder? You want me to take my clothes off?"
*** Just before Gordon's Oxycontin fully kicks in.
*** "This is the best ladder ever!!"
** (Notices 4 dead marines right next to some aliens) "Come on, get up Williams! Hey! Damn it. Jones! Maxwell! (notices the fourth body) Err, ummm, Well... I don't remember your name. But you're dead too, that sucks!"
** Shephard thinks that all the skeletons in the room he is in are talking to him:
-->'''Soldier''': [''off screen''] I got a bad feeling about this mission...\\
'''Shephard''': [''thinking it's the skeleton''] AHHH! What the hell? Oh my God! I'm being haunted by the ghosts of the marines that died because of me!\\
'''Same Soldier''': I was told to guard this area.\\
'''Shepahrd''': [''still talking to the skeleton''] I know... you were just following orders. It wasn't your fault, soldier. [''sits down next to the skeleton and starts crying'']
** [[[ItMakesSenseInContext after being ported out of the floor]]]:
-->"Where are my pants?!\\
[*ZAP!*]\\
"Oh there they are."
** '''ADRIAN KICKS ASS'''
** When he's on a bridge...
-->"What the fuck does that mean, what obstruction? [notices the [[BigCreepyCrawlies Pit Worm]]] Oh. [[OhCrap SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!]]
** "I am ''so'' not geared for this instance!"
** And now from the season finale, a moment that is actually more of a crowning moment of awesome till the end...
-->[[spoiler: '''Shephard''': "All right. I was never a good marine. I couldn't protect the people under my command. I never caught Freeman. I couldn't go fifteen meters without running into some insurmountable delay. I didn't earn my advanced training or even my rank as Corporal. Some guys just dropped it on me! I'm not even fighting for a cause, I just don't want to die. All the good things I did today were just because I was backed into a corner and could only keep charging forward."]]\\
[[spoiler: [music starts up]]]\\
[[spoiler: '''Shephard''': "If I die today, nobody's gonna remember. Adrian Shepherd might as well never have existed. And you know what? I refuse to believe that this overconvoluted clusterfuck of a disaster happened just so I could get eaten by a giant squid in a dusty ventilation shaft! So screw it. I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna fight, and I'm gonna fucking win! Come and get me yo-"]]\\
[[spoiler: [Music cuts off, Shepherd runs back into hiding.]]]\\
[[spoiler: '''Shephard''': "Ow! Leg cramp, leg cramp, ow! Jeez! Ow, damn! Man! I really need to remember to limber up before this kind of crap. Anyway, have at you!"]]
** "Can I go home now? -This isn't my house." It's the delivery that sells it.
** "S-s-sorry, I got a (hhhhh) s-space leach in my th-th-throat."
** This gem from the finale: "Why is everything collapsing? What the fuck!? Was it a [[LoadBearingBoss load bearing squid?]]"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Parker's Mind]]
* From Episode 10: "There's no way anyone could defeat this robot. I know one man who could: ChuckNorris. He could!"
* From Episode 14-2, how about that cutscene:
--> '''Parker''': Why does the music stop whenever I start talking?
--> '''Eos''': We need that antidote Parker! If you're not gonna help, shut up!
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Barney's Mind]]
* From Episode 5, after Barney encounters a dead security officer.
--> '''Barney''': (ducks beside the body) "I think I'd better check for a pulse." (stands) "Nope, no pulse." (ducks) "Maybe definitely..." (stands) "Nope, no wallet either."
* Barney's inability to follow the taxi ways and the roads on the airport.
--> Douchebag: "Are roads a recomendation too?"
--> Barney: "Screw roads! [[Film/BackToTheFuture Where we're going, we don't need roads]]!"
--> Douchebag: "...You're not funny..."
* From the plane escape scene
--> EV91: "...comply or you will be shot down."
--> Barney: "Lies! Where's the transmit button? Oh here. Hey fighter jets, I just survived an alien invasion, SCREW YOU!"
--> Douchebag: "Yeah, piss the pilot off in a million dollar fighter jet with tons of missiles."
--> Barney: "Bah, they can't us missiles in here.[[BuffySpeak Too much canyon]].
** Earlier on..."
--> Barney: "Let's see if we can lose them in that canyon down there."
--> Douchebag: "What?! I'd rather go to the airbase."
--> Barney: "Screw that! Dig deeper in your pants for a bigger set of balls because there's no way in hell I'm going with the military! You wanna go? Fine! Door's right there."
--> Douchebag: "Okay but you better not get us killed."
--> Barney: "No promises!"
[[/folder]]
[[folder:Felix's Mind]]
* Episode 15 of Felix's Mind:
--> Felix: "Aww, now that I've used [the shield recharger] so many times, [the high I was getting off of it] is starting to lose its effect. But I'd better keep moving before [[TemptingFate this morphine makes me see something I wish I hadn't.]]" (rounds a corner and sees [[SuperMarioBros Mario]])
--> Mario: "It's-a me! Mario!"
--> Felix: "..." (turns right around and walks away)
[[/folder]]
