History Funny / FinalFantasyXIVShadowbringers

* One of the diversions in the Dwarf Beast Tribe after hitting Trusted is to help run the bar, Luca's Locket, making three themed drinks: Dwarven Decking, Wicked White, or Alcoholic Beaverage, and having three choices of customers of who comes over: A dwarf approaching at high speed (Giott, and she can be unmasked depending on how far along you are in the Healer Role quest), A straitlaced Viis (Lyna), or A lively pixie (Tyr Beq), and each one has different reactions to the drinks. Giving Tyr Beq the Alcoholic Beaverage has them troll the Warrior by turning into a beaver.
** Giving Giott the Alcoholic Beaverage has her comment that, initially, the sweet taste of the drink made her think you were trying to poison her with some kind of ''[[SeriousBusiness non-alcoholic beverage]]''.

* When getting authorized to take on Elite Marks for Clan Nutsy, the player is introduced to their leader: a particularly bloodthirsty ''moogle''. He wanted to see the Warrior of Darkness die violently for all of the bloodshed during the hunt, to which Xylle tells him off pointing out the reason the Clan has such a shortage of members is because the moogle keeps encouraging every hunter to go out and get themselves killed in the most violent way possible. By the time the moogle is out of earshot, she spits out an equally violent comment about the leader that would make Sidurgu proud. This leaves the [=WoD=] absolutely stunned and slack-jawed at her.

** She also requests that, should the player run into the guild leader out in the world, ''they kill him''.
** In fact, just about everything about the clan leader Nutsy. He actively encouraged clan members to [[KlingonPromotion take his position by killing him]] because he loves the thrill of being at risk of both elite marks and elite hunters.
-->'''Nutsy:''' You've got to eat, sleep, and breathe danger! You've got to love putting it all on the line against elite marks and elite hunters besides! You've got to be bloody mad! ... [They're]] a killer - I want to see [them] kill! I wanna see [them] die! [[LaughingMad Mwahahahaha!]] More blood for Clan Nutsy! More blood, kupo!"

** There's also a hidden choice if you have the Scholar class active where you can snarkily tell Urianger that, as a Scholar, of course you do. Urianger, in his own flowery style, pretty much tells the [=WoD=] to explain it if they're so smart. They quickly panic and wave it off, allowing Urianger to continue.

* Why is Estinien helping the Scions in their efforts? Because of Tataru, of all people, who he unironically declares must have been trained as a ''spy.''

* In 5.5, the long awaited meeting of Estinien and Alisaie, in which the Dragonslayer mistakes her for Alphinaud. To say she gets pissed would be an understatement, verbally lashing out at him for mistaking her for his brother while being equally offended that he described her as "rugged". After that, G'raha Tia goes fanboy over meeting Estinien, completely with his ears perking up and ''eyes visibly gleaming like an anime character''. Estinien's shocked and confused expression makes it even better, with him requesting someone explain the situation.

* The first Gunbreaker job quest involves the Warrior of Light, Radovan, and Sophie escorting a [[Cloudcuckoolander free-spirited harpsichordist]] to a concert in Gridania. A rival musician, feeling slighted, [[DisproportionateRetribution sends a veritable army of assassins after the girl]]. And, unbeknownst to all including her manager, the harpsichordist is a glamorized sylph.

* The level 60 Blue Mage job quest features a duel between the Blue Mage Guildmaster Martyn, and the undefeated champion of the Colosseum, Siegfried. After preparing his strategy around the fact that Siegfried has few counters for a ranged opponent, Martyn enters the arena confident in his chances of victory. Siegfried then appears, covered head to toe in a full set of magitek body armor and a massive hand cannon. Everyone stares in shock at this change in armor before the duel begins proper. As Martyn appears to have taken Siegfried down with a barrage of powerful spells, the gladiator suddenly appears behind him, causing Martyn to make the same exaggerated facial expressions seen in the Inspector Hildebrand quests.

** Later, you can talk to her to unlock the local scrip collectors, during which she mentions that it was Alphinaud who introduced the concept to her, and she goes on to wonder about the kind and generous woman that invented such a wonderful system.

* There's just something darkly funny about how Ryne goes on about how taking a Primal into herself isn't as bad as it sounds, only to [[InstantlyProvenWrong IMMEDIATELY lose control of it before the fight even starts]].

* One of Eden Shiva's attacks is "Redress," which causes her to shift between ice and light forms. This is a literal costume change that leaves her naked, her body only covered by a mysterious light before the clothes form onto her. It doesn't do any damage, but it has a "look away" mechanic that, if not completed, will cause you to be stunned and guarantee that you get hit by Shiva's next attack. Essentially, Eden Shiva's inflicting PervertRevengeMode on the Warrior of Light as an attack...and if they're not careful, it can ''work.''

** There are also cases of players averting their eyes from the screen while leaving their character to take the hit, having misunderstood why they should look away..

* So the dwarven duo manages to get into the hidden mine shaft, but it's locked by another door. What do they do? Pull out some bombs to blow it up, with the Warrior of Light trying to [[OutrunTheFireball Outrun the Explosion]]. When they probe deeper and find some Small Stubbies attacking an unconscious 2P? Pull out more bombs and chuck them at the machines to blow them up. After that, the group is met with ''a gigantic lock'' blocking the way to The Copied Factory. No problem, just [[RuleOfThree pull out a comically high amount of bombs, stick them on there, and blow it up!]]