History Funny / FatherTed

'''Ted:''' ''(shakes his head in exasperation)'' NO, Dougal. They can't be that precise about the Ice Age.\\

* Ted and Dougal are searching for Jack at St. Clobbert's home for retired priests. Dougal switches on the light in the sitting room -- and he and Ted learn the hard way that every single priest there has Jack's NoIndoorVoice catchphrases, as they all begin bellowing, "DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!" When one of the nuns on the staff runs over to see what the noise is, Ted and Dougal "[[PaperThinDisguise disguise]]" themselves by finding some empty space on a sofa and joining in the chorus of "DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!" -- Dougal, naturally, continues shouting even after the lights are switched off again.

-->'''Mrs. Doyle:''' ''(rapid fire)'' Father Desmond Coyle, Father George Byrne, Father David Nicholson, Father Declan Lynch, Father Ken Sweeney, Father Neil Hannon,[[note]] A ShoutOut to the frontman of the Divine Comedy, who wrote the theme tune for ''Father Ted''.[[/note]] Father Keith Cullen, Father Ciaran Donnelly, Father Mick McEvoy, Father Jack White ''(cut to much later)'' Father Henry Bigbigging, Father Hank Tree. Father Hiroshima Twinkie. Father Stig Bubblecard. Father Johnny Helzapoppin. Father Luke Duke. Father Billy Furley. Father Chewy Louie. Father John Hoop. Father Harry Cakelinem. Father Rabulah Conundrum. Father Pee-wee Stairmaster. Father Tri-Peglips. Father Jemimah Ractoole. Father Jerry Twig. Father Spodo Komodo. Father Canabramalamer. Father Todd Unctious.
-->'''Father Tod:''' YES!

* Father Jack's replacement is Father Fintan Stack, whose behaviour is as un-priest-like as possible. This includes drilling holes into the walls of the house for no reason and blaring jungle music at 3am among other things.

* Real life example - Creator/DermotMorgan and Ardal O'Hanlan were primarily comedy performers rather than actors, so they would frequently forget their lines. Frank Kelly, who was a professional actor, would jokingly decry them as "feckin' amateurs".

* The broadcast of the interview itself is another classic. Dougal, identified by a caption as "Father Ted Crilly", tells the camera [[{{Cloudcuckoolander}} he's not sure if God really exists and doesn't go much for the whole organised religion thing, and then begins relating the wonders of the spider baby]], all while the real Ted is taken away in an ambulance in the background - and is half-mummified by plaster casts and bandages next to Dougal and Mrs. Doyle as he watches the programme. Then Jack wakes up and sees Dougal's face on the television.

* When Father Stone reveals he is planning to stay on Craggy Island for a few weeks, Ted sends him outside with Dougal so that he can tell Father Jack the bad news - by telling Father Stone that there is a fire in the house. As Dougal and Father Stone wait outside, with Dougal trying and failing to get some sort of conversation out of Father Stone, Ted puts on a helmet and chest pad, and wakes Jack. Cut to outside as Ted [[MegatonPunch flies through the sitting room window]] to Jack's bellow of "FECK OFF!" And Ted tries to pass if off as backdraft.

'''Michael:''' Who is that!? ''(hurries up to the row where Ted and Dougal are sitting)'' Look, you- ''(sees who it is; Ted smiles at him)'' Father Ted! Father Dougal! 'Tis yourselves! ''(shakes their hands)''\\

'''Ted:''' Michael, Michael - erm, I don't suppose you'd, erm, you could throw us out. Just so we could tell the bishop.\\

'''Ted:''' ''(shocked)'' What - what?\\

'''Dougal:''' ''[looks down at Ted lying on the floor]'' Ted! What's wrong? ''[turns to Jack]'' Father Jack, did you see what happened? ''[turns back to Ted]'' Ted? ''[turns back to Jack]'' What happened, Father Jack? Wha- ''[the penny finally drops, and he faints as well]'' Ooooo!

'''Dougal:''' ''(suddenly inspired)'' I think- I think- I think I have a lyric!\\

* Finally, the song is ready for its first performance in front of an audience of Jack and Mrs. Doyle. Not only are Ted and Dougal not in tune with each other, but the melody consists of a single repeated note except for the last note of each line - which requires an awkward pause while Ted moves his fingers for the chord change.

* The way Jon Kenny as Fred Rickwood makes his [[TheUnintelligible offstage talk]] ''sound'' like he's actually saying something instead of outright gibbering.

* Dougal is naming his new rabbit, but Ted has told him it cannot be "Ted" or "Mrs. Doyle". He eventually settles on naming it "Father Jack" - which inevitably causes the (human) Father Jack to keep responding to the use of his name.

* Ted's final scheme to keep the bishop out of the room involves claiming to need to use the only working toilet in the house. He rushes into the room, closes the door, and sees that the rabbits have vanished. He then re-emerges, pretending to have just relieved himself, and the bishop pushes him aside and enters the room - and realises there is no toilet in there.

---> '''Ted:''' ''(goes to look)'' How could a rabbit look like - God Almighty! It's the spitting image of him.

* When Dougal invites StrawFeminist singer Niamh Connolly into the house, they sit in the front room in awkward silence until Dougal (having remembered to "make girls feel comfortable") asks "How's your bra?" Then later, he applies the "always give them what they want - it's easier in the long run" line - but it turns out she really likes ''the priests' house.''

'''Ted:''' ''(confused)'' The other two- ''(realises, smiles)'' Ah, I see, the old vision's back to normal. No, there's just the two of us, Father.\\

* Ted and Dougal are searching for Jack at St. Clobbert's home for retired priests. Dougal switches on the light in the sitting room - and he and Ted learn the hard way that every single priest there has Jack's NoIndoorVoice catchphrases, as they all begin bellowing, "DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!" When one of the nuns on the staff runs over to see what the noise is, Ted and Dougal "[[PaperThinDisguise disguise]]" themselves by finding some empty space on a sofa and joining in the chorus of "DRINK! FECK! ARSE! GIRLS!" - Dougal, naturally, continues shouting even after the lights are switched off again.

* Ted and Dougal return to St. Clobbert's with a torch to shine in the faces of the residents so they can identify Jack. Each one screams one of Jack's four signature catchphrases - with one exception.

* Mrs Doyle's distress at the supposed sheep-eating beast has Dougal playing various sound-effects during it, with Ted telling him to stop after each. At the end she trudges off, with squelching sound effects. Ted tells Dougle to knock it off with the sound effects, only for Dougal to say that he isn't playing any - Mrs. Doyle is actually making those squelching noises. Ted seems both disgusted and confused.

'''Mrs. Doyle:''' Father Hackett's got very fond of that brick. It's a great old pet for him - he doesn't have to feed it or clean it or take it to the vet. Suits him down to the ground.\\

'''Ted:''' ''(beaming)'' Ah, that's nice. Maybe we're seeing another side to Father Jack. A more caring, considerate- ''(gets hit in the head with the brick)''\\

* The big pile of boxes in the middle of the road. Everything about that scene. The [[RuleOfFunny sheer absurdity]] of having the pile of boxes there to begin with, Ted not just moving the boxes out of the way, but putting them in the very same pyramid configuration on the other side of the road - and still having enough time to get them out of the way before Dougal hits them, Dougal's expression of utter delight when he realises he isn't going to hit the boxes, Ted getting in his car and ploughing straight through the boxes, all backed by ridiculously tense music.

* After Ted kicks Bishop Brennan up the arse and sends him on his way to Rome, he gets absolutely stinking drunk, and tells Dougal he wants two hundred copies of the photograph he took of the act. Father Jack walks into the room during this speech; Ted turns to him and screams, "FECK OFF!" - and for once, it is Jack who flees in terror.

'''Colm:''' Everyone's saying it, Father. Should we all be racist now? [[ShameIfSomethingHappened What's the official line the Church has taken on this?]]\\
'''Ted:''' No! No--\\

* Far from condemning Ted's apparent racism, some of the Craggy Islanders are congratulating him on it. Others are more concerned with fitting it into their schedule.

'''Colm:''' How'd you get interested in that type of thing?\\

'''Colm:''' Everyone's saying it, Father. Should we all be racist now? What's the official line the Church has taken on this?\\

'''Colm:''' Only the farm takes up most of the day, and at night I just like a cup of tea. I mightn't be able to devote myself full time to the old racism.\\

-->'''Henry:''' Don't worry, Father. Sure, if I can't celebrate tonight, then when can I, the bastards! What the hell is going on here, how dare they do this to me?! How dare they sack me! I'm Henry Sellers! I'm Henry Sellers!! ''(jumps out of the window)''

-->'''Mrs Doyle''': Now, and what do you say to a cup?

-->'''Mrs Doyle''': (''fondly'') Ah, he loves his cup of tea.
-->'''Jack''': FECK OFF! ''FECK '''OFF!''''' (''throws the cup at Mrs Doyle, [[ComicallyMissingThePoint which misses and shatters behind her as she doesn't notice]]'')

--> ''(Mr Gleeson comes closer)''

* For someone who doesn't like thinking about sex, Mrs Doyle does seem to think about it a lot. It doesn't help that throughout this scene, Ted is holding a [[FreudWasRight sausage on a fork]] which he occasionally glances back at.
-->'''Mrs Doyle''': Oh, I don't want it to be any fun at all, Father. I want a good miserable time. Keep me on the straight and narrow. I met a couple there last year, it did them the world of good. They were a bit obsessed with the old s-e-x. God, I'm glad I never think of that type of thing, that whole sexual world. God, when you think of it, it's a dirty, filthy thing, isn't it? Can you imagine, Father? Looking up at your husband and him standing over you with his [[UnusualEuphemism lad]] in his hand, wanting you to ''degrade'' yourself. God Almighty, can you imagine that, Father? Can you picture it, Father? Get a good mental picture. Can you see him there, ready to do the business?

* Mrs Doyle saying "Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on..." every time she offers someone a cup of tea? Funny. Mrs. Doyle holding up several dozen cue cards all reading "GO ON" when offering a cup of tea to Father Fintan Stack while he has cranked his stereo full volume? Hilarious. Father Stack just keeps dancing and shaking his head. It's not much but it is the most civil he is to anyone.

* Mrs Doyle trying to guess the name of the new priest in one of her finest moments:
-->'''Mrs Doyle:''' Father Andy Riley!

-->'''Mrs Doyle:''' ''(rapid fire)'' Father Desmond Coyle, Father George Byrne, Father David Nicholson, Father Declan Lynch, Father Ken Sweeney, Father Neil Hannon,[[note]] A ShoutOut to the frontman of the Divine Comedy, who wrote the theme tune for ''Father Ted''.[[/note]] Father Keith Cullen, Father Ciaran Donnelly, Father Mick McEvoy, Father Jack White ''(cut to much later)'' Father Henry Bigbigging, Father Hank Tree. Father Hiroshima Twinkie. Father Stig Bubblecard. Father Johnny Helzapoppin. Father Luke Duke. Father Billy Furley. Father Chewy Louie. Father John Hoop. Father Harry Cakelinem. Father Rabulah Conundrum. Father Pee-wee Stairmaster. Father Tri-Peglips. Father Jemimah Ractoole. Father Jerry Twig. Father Spodo Komodo. Father Canabramalamer. Father Todd Unctious.

* Mrs Doyle sneaking downstairs to sabotage the tea machine. Followed by Dougal sneaking downstairs to watch a horror movie.

* Ted's presentation on diversity in the Craggy Island community [[CringeComedy hits all the wrong notes]]. He lists [[Film/TheKarateKid Mr Miyagi]] and [[Franchise/FlashGordon Ming The Merciless]] as notable Chinese people, describes the Chinese as "[[MemeticMutation a great bunch of lads]]" and puts a very unsubtle subliminal message at the end by quickly alternating between a slide of his own face and the phrase "Not a racist".

* Mrs Doyle learning how to watch football (from a [[ParodiesForDummies For Dummies]]-style book). Initially she can't even say, "go on, my son", but by the end of the episode she and her friends are hilariously fluent in football-speak.

* When Father Stone reveals he is planning to stay on Craggy Island for a few weeks, Ted sends him outside with Dougal so that he can tell Father Jack the bad news - by telling Father Stone that there is a fire in the house. As Dougal and Father Stone wait outside, with Dougal trying and failing to get some sort of conversation out of Father Stone, Ted puts on a helmet and chest pad, and wakes Jack... cut to outside as Ted [[MegatonPunch flies through the sitting room window]] to Jack's bellow of "FECK OFF!" And Ted tries to pass if off as backdraft.

* In the opening scene, the Craggy Island priests are entertaining the Cuban Father Hernandez, and tell him the west side of the island used to be lovely... until it broke off in a storm and drifted away.

'''Dougal:''' Eh... a week.\\

'''Dougal:''' ... actually no, now I think of it, er, he died.

* And to cap it all off, it seems Jack is NotQuiteDead...

'''Dougal:''' ''[looks down at Ted lying on the floor]'' Ted! What's wrong? ''[turns to Jack]'' Father Jack, did you see what happened? ''[turns back to Ted]'' Ted? ''[turns back to Jack]'' What happened, Father Jack? Wha... ''[the penny finally drops, and he faints as well]'' Ooooo!

* Jack trashing the prize car (Ted surveys the front while Dougal surveys the back, and both agree the damage isn't too bad... until Ted sees that Dougal's idea of "not too bad" involves the boot being compressed to half its length), especially Ted asking him if he has been drinking (when is Jack ''not'' thoroughly trashed?) and Jack having to look at the mostly-empty liquor bottle in his hand before answering "YES!!"

* We see Jack grinning over a magazine that's literally just titled ''[[CatchPhrase Girls]]''. ("... GIRLS!") The girls on the cover are dressed like Victorian schoolmarms.

* As it turns out, there's a bit of history to the whistle...

'''Dougal:''' ... I ''like'' that!\\

'''Ted:''' ... "My Lovely Horse".\\
'''Dougal:''' Right. How about this. Erm, "My lovely horse, [[BestialityIsDepraved I want to hold you so tight, I want to rub my fingers through your tail and... love you all night.]]"\\

* While Ted tries to stall Bishop Brennan from entering the spare bedroom, Dougal calls up, asking if Len had found the rabbits. Bishop Brennan is outraged, but not about the rabbits...

'''Ted:''' No, ''Our Lord''. I suppose... I made your vow for you, but I know that deep down inside you'd like to make a little sacrifice.\\

'''Ted:''' ... we're priests.\\

'''Ted:''' Well... well yes, yes, Father... how do you feel? It must be great to be sober, every once in a while... or even... every twelve years...\\
'''Jack:''' ''(points to a...)'' CHAIR!\\

'''Jack:''' ''(walks to the window and gestures to the...)'' CURTAINS!\\

* Just before Ted journeys onto the wheel of the plane to attempt to fix the fuel line, Ted and the captain engage in some dramatic dialogue, ending in a badass FacingTheBulletsOneLiner from the priest...until Dougal ruins the mood entirely. He often expresses bewilderment or even contempt at being a priest but, like at the end of "Speed 3", it seems he would be happy if that didn't change.

'''Ted''': Well I'm not a fellow who goes climbing around the outside of planes...but I think considering the circumstances, we can be whatever we want right now.\\

* Ted, who is usually terrified of flying, has been calmed down enough by the gravity of the plane's mechanical problems to climb onto the wheel and use the souvenir tape dispenser to repair the fuel line. Once the emergency is over, he suddenly realises where he is and screams "[[DelayedReaction AAAAAAARGH! WHAT AM I DOING ON THE FECKING WHEEL!]]" At the end of the episode, he is back at the parochial house... still clinging to the wheel in abject terror.

'''Ted''': Really? So, you've changed from your initial prediction of... what was it again? "Ruud Gullit sitting on a shed." God Almighty, Dougal, where do you get these ideas from? I bet it's just a lovely angel. ''(to Jack)'' What do you think's under tomorrow's window, Father?\\

* At the beginning of the episode, Ted is somehow reinstated to active church work in Dublin and Paris... yet buggers it up again. As before, "The money was just resting in my account!" is not accepted as a defence.

'''Ted:''' ''(horrified)'' ...Wha-- what?\\

* After [[CardCarryingVillain Pat Mustard]] reveals over the phone to Ted that he's put a speed-activated bomb on the milk van Dougal is driving, he begins to [[EvilLaugh laugh evilly]]. Ted rushes off to find Dougal, while Pat is left laughing on the other end of the line. We cut back to the phone later, and Pat is ''[[OverlyLongGag still]]'' [[OverlyLongGag laughing]]. Jack even picks up the phone at one point, with an expression of utter confusion, only to put it down as Ted did. Pat spends so much time in the phone booth, [[EvilGloating gloating]], that by the time he finishes laughing, Dougal has escaped from the wired van, [[LaserGuidedKarma which is now driving towards the phone booth.]] Cue a massive explosion that can be heard from the ''Arctic,'' to the [[DistantReactionShot confusion]] of a man [[EskimoLand ice-fishing]]. (Pat did say that the explosion would be heard all the way to the North Pole... he just didn't anticipate being caught in the blast.)

'''Jack''': ''(most sarcastic voice possible)'' I'm so... so... sorry! ''(makes rabbit noises)''

* When all the old ladies are crowding around the house to get a glimpse of crooner Eoin [=McLove=] in a ZombieApocalypse parody, they have punched through the front door and grabbed him while Ted, Dougal, and [=McLove's=] manager are trying to break their grip on him. Jack, meanwhile...[[PassThePopcorn fetches a chair and a drink and sits back to watch.]]
* In the next scene, Father Jack assumes the role of the grizzled, world-weary veteran of zombie encounters and delivers a dramatic speech... all while speaking at his usual NoIndoorVoice volume.

'''Dougal:''' ... He's right Ted.
* Later on, Ted and Dougal are trying to figure a way to get Eoin out of the house without the women seeing. Jack suddenly leans forward in his chair, trying to say something, but then sits back, having forgotten what he was about to say. A few moments later, he leans forward again, getting Ted and Dougal's attention as they wait with bated breath for what he has to say...

* Ted manages to unknowingly console a suicidal priest by playing Isaac Hayes's theme from ''{{Film/Shaft}}'' on the radio. Unfortunately, the next time we see the priest, he's on a bus, listening to Music/{{Radiohead}}...

-->'''Deegan:''' God, this reminds me of Vietnam.
-->'''Ted:''' Were you in Vietnam, Sergeant?
-->'''Deegan:''' Ah no no. I mean, you know, the films.
** They also spot Jack loose in the woods but Ted asks Sergeant Deegan not to shoot as "he'll find the way home". Cue Jack running like a wild animal to Edvard Grieg's "Peer Gynt - Morning Mood".
-->'''Deegan:''' Look at him go.

* The most frequently referenced scene in the whole of ''Father Ted'': [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh5kZ4uIUC0 Perspective for Dummies]].

** They left everything behind in the trailer but still have two small plastic cows.

--> (Mr Gleeson comes closer)

--> '''Dougal:''' Why not leave them here?
--> '''Ted:''' Because, Dougal, my nerves are shot. And I won't be able to relax until the only rabbit left in the place is the one sitting in your head, working the controls.

--> '''Ted:''' ''(goes to look)'' How could a rabbit look like - God Almighty! It's the spitting image of him.

-->"Did he call me Len, again?!"
-->''[Bishop Brennan walks to the top of the stairs]''
-->"You address me by my proper title, you little bollocks!"

* Mrs Doyle saying "Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on..." every time she offers someone a cup of tea? Funny. Mrs. Doyle holding up several dozen cue cards all reading "GO ON" when offering a cup of tea to Father Fintan Stack while he has cranked his stereo full volume? Hilarious.
** Father Stack just keeps dancing and shaking his head. It's not much but it is the most civil he is to anyone.

* Ted is hit on the head with rolled-up paper and looks back to see another priest laughing. When this keeps happening he goes to confront the priest he thinks is doing it, who is blind and was laughing at comedy on his headphones. As Ted sheepishly returns to his seat, two nuns throw a ball of paper at him and cackle like a pair of schoolgirls.
** The blind priest is listening to Series/MrBean, famous for being entirely visual comedy.

* Just before Ted journeys onto the wheel of the plane to attempt to fix the fuel line, Ted and the captain engage in some dramatic dialogue, ending in a badass FacingTheBulletsOneLiner from the priest...until Dougal ruins the mood entirely.

** Dougal often expresses bewilderment or even contempt at being a priest but like at the end of "Speed 3" it seems he would be happy if that didn't change.

-->'''Mrs Doyle:''' ''(rapid fire)'' Father Desmond Coyle, Father George Byrne, Father David Nicholson, Father Declan Lynch, Father Ken Sweeney, Father Neil Hannon, Father Keith Cullen, Father Ciaran Donnelly, Father Mick McEvoy, Father Jack White ''(cut to much later)'' Father Henry Bigbigging, Father Hank Tree. Father Hiroshima Twinkie. Father Stig Bubblecard. Father Johnny Helzapoppin. Father Luke Duke. Father Billy Furley. Father Chewy Louie. Father John Hoop. Father Harry Cakelinem. Father Rabulah Conundrum. Father Pee-wee Stairmaster. Father Tri-Peglips. Father Jemimah Ractoole. Father Jerry Twig. Father Spodo Komodo. Father Canabramalamer. Father Todd Unctious.

* Mrs Doyle sneaking downstairs to sabotage the tea machine.
** Followed by Dougal sneaking downstairs to watch a horror movie.

** As Dougal sprints from the doomed milk float, he pulls of his milkman jacket and joyfully cries "I'm a priest!". Even funnier given that earlier in the episode he'd complained that he doesn't do anything as a priest.

** "You're shit, ah-har!"

'''Ted:''' ... right.

* When Dougal invites StrawFeminist singer Niamh Connolly into the house, they sit in the front room in awkward silence until Dougal (having remembered to "make girls feel comfortable") asks "How's your bra?" Then later, he applies the "always give them what they want - it's easier in the long run" line - but it turns out she really likes ''the priests' house...''

* Dougal is sent on his way the warning, "Better get going - milk gets sour, you know. Unless it's UHT milk, but there's no demand for that because it's shite."

* After [[CardCarryingVillain Pat Mustard]] reveals over the phone to Ted that he's put a speed-activated bomb on the milk van Dougal is driving, he begins to [[EvilLaugh laugh evilly]]. Ted rushes off to find Dougal, while Pat is left laughing on the other end of the line. We cut back to the phone later, and Pat is ''[[OverlyLongGag still]]'' [[OverlyLongGag laughing]]. Jack even picks up the phone at one point, with an expression of utter confusion, only to put it down as Ted did. Pat spends so much time in the phone booth, [[EvilGloating gloating]], that by the time he finishes laughing, Dougal has escaped from the wired van, [[LaserGuidedKarma which is now driving towards the phone booth.]] Cue a massive explosion that can be heard from the ''Arctic,'' to the confusion of a man ice-fishing. (Pat did say that the explosion would be heard all the way to the North Pole... he just didn't anticipate being caught in the blast.)

* Real life example - Dermot Morgan and Ardal O'Hanlan were primarily comedy performers rather than actors, so they would frequently forget their lines. Frank Kelly, who was a professional actor, would jokingly decry them as "feckin' amateurs".

* Ted's brainstorming session with Barren Island priests Father Beeching and Father Clarke[[note]] played by [[CreatorCameo Arthur Mathews]][[/note]]. Their first plan is to conduct Mass for Dougal alongside the "speeding" milkfloat, and during the brainstorming session the best they can produce is another Mass. They try watching ''Film/ThePoseidonAdventure'' since Gene Hackman's character in the film was a priest, but are disappointed to find he doesn't even say Mass.

* Father Noel Furlong's solo performance of "Bohemian Rhapsody".

* Father Noel's bizarre fantasy scenario of the group trapped in the cave having to eat each other, as in ''Alive'', culminating in him pretending he is eating Tony, a member of his youth group, while he is still alive.

* When all the old ladies are crowding around the house to get a glimpse of crooner Eoin [=McLove=] in a ZombieApocalypse parody, they have punched through the front door and grabbed him while Ted, Dougal, and [=McLove's=] manager are trying to break their grip on him. Jack, meanwhile... [[PassThePopcorn fetches a chair and a drink and sits back to watch.]]

When it comes to mining the Series/EurovisionSongContest for humour, "A Song for Europe" outdoes even Terry Wogan's sardonic commentary.

'''Michael:''' Oh, I'm grand. How's Father Jack? We haven't seen him since we had the last Sharon Stone season on!\\

'''Ted:''' ''(chuckles)'' We're not, are we? Oh, God- awfully sorry, Michael!\\

'''Michael:''' ''(wags his finger at Ted)'' Now you!... ''(all three laugh)''

* [[LeFilmArtistique Ted and Dougal were so confused by the film itself]] that, once they return to the cinema and handcuff themselves to the railings outside, they are not sure what to protest against. So as slogans to chant, they come up with the ever-quotable...

'''Dougal:''' Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Eh... ''[[CanisLatinicus totus tuus minimus canis Costacurta Baggio Roberto]]''...

* Ted's perfectionism in getting a dent out of a car they were sent to raffle off ends up destroying it. He's unusually calm surveying the damage and concluding that they can't use it in the raffle, then cut to an exterior shot that night...

* Jack trashing the prize car (Ted surveys the front while Dougal surveys the back, and both agree the damage isn't too bad... until Ted sees that Dougal's idea of "not too bad" involves the boot being compressed to half its length), especially Ted asking him if he has been drinking (when is Jack ''not'' thoroughly trashed?) and Jack having to look at the liquor bottle in his hand before answering "YES!!"

* The way Jon Kenny as Fred Rickwood makes his [[TheUnintelligible offstage talk]] ''sound'' like he's actually saying something instead of outright gibbering, and yet...

* In the pre-credits teaser, Ted and Dougal settle down to watch their favourite sitcom: ''Father Ben'', an exaggerated [[ShowWithinAShow in-universe equivalent]] of ''Father Ted''. Dougal chuckles over what an idiot Father Brendan is as he watches him walk into the room with his shorts on his head, and Ted says he knows someone just like that thicko Father Ben[[note]] who is played by [[CreatorCameo Arthur Mathews]][[/note]]... [[SelfDeprecation neither noticing how much those characters are just like the two of them.]]

'''Jack:''' WHERE ARE THE OTHER TWO?\\

* Ted is hit on the head with rolled-up paper and looks back to see another priest laughing. When this keeps happening he goes to confront the priest he thinks is doing it - who is blind and was laughing at comedy on his headphones. As Ted sheepishly returns to his seat, two nuns throw a ball of paper at him and cackle like a pair of schoolgirls.
* As the passengers discuss who should be given the two parachutes to escape the possibly doomed aircraft, Father Jack sneaks away with both of them. One for himself... and one for the drinks trolley. In the credits, we then see both of the parachutes are caught in a tree in the middle of nowhere, [[LaserGuidedKarma with the drinks trolley perched just out of a furious and hysterically-sobbing Jack's reach.]]

'''Mrs. Glynn:''' Oh, there was this great bit in it, you see, there was this girl, and then you find out [[AllThereIsToKnowAboutTheCryingGame it's not a girl, but a MAN!]]\\