History Funny / FTLFasterThanLight

* Sometimes you'll find Auto-Scouts in the asteroid field...equipped with ''no shields.'' If you have enough shielding (and Defense drones if they have missile launchers) to render their weapons useless, you can pretty much sit back and laugh while the Auto-Scout explodes without any effort on your part.

** Even more so during certain events - if you try to recruit a crew member, but they kill one of your own because they're AxCrazy or [[WoundedGazelleGambit a traitor trying to play friendly]], the crewman jumps right out of the cloning bay [[RoaringRampageOfRevenge itching to deliver some payback]]. And if you have [[AndCallHimGeorge a crewman "broken" during]] a [[spoiler: Crystalline]] [[PlayingWithSyringes research project]], the game follows up with this line if the clone bay is installed:

** Another event (the one where you an either save an Engi or the drone schematic from an exploding ship) has one crewmember valiantly sacrifice his life to save the Engi...only for said crewmember to swagger out of the Clone Bay soon after. It's easy to be brave when death isn't actually permanent, eh, crewmember?

* One event has a ship of Slugs ask for your help in fixing their oxygen generation unit. Normally you get the option of either helping them or ignoring them, and if you help them then you usually wind up being boarded or losing a crew member. However, if you have [[InsectoidAliens a Mantis crew]] you get a special choice that results in: "Once on board, [[BlatantLies it becomes clear that nothing is wrong with their O2 system]]. Almost expecting this, [[BloodKnight your Mantis calmly responds to the trap]]. [[PaintTheTownRed Once a couple of the Slugs have been spread across the walls of their ship]], [[DidntThinkThisThrough the rest surrender.]]"
* In Abandoned Sectors, the newly discovered Lanius are taking apart the debris fields. One of their surrender texts states that they use their limited knowledge of human culture to convey their meaning. They wave around {{White Flag}}s WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes' style.

* In the Engi virus event, an Engi ship is ready to fire on yours because there's a computer virus aboard. If you have a Lanius crew member, you'll notice it gesturing frantically. That in itself is pretty amusing, since one may not expect a monstrous, metal-eating, oxygen-draining, walking [[GromekASongOfIceAndFire Iron Throne]] to hop around trying to get attention. The Lanius knows which computer on your ship holds the virus and simply eats the terminal to destroy the virus.
* You can "activate your advanced weapons threateningly" at a smuggler to make him surrender and give you stuff, and you can "remain silent but power up your weapons" at a snippy merchant to make him pay full price. [[GunboatDiplomacy Carry a big stick indeed]].
* You can encounter a space station that's currently having trouble containing a fire. If you send in a Rockman or a Repair Drone, you can put out the fire, no problem, and the station will even give you an augment for it after explaining that its automated fire suppressor went haywire. Guess what augment you can get from this event if you have the Advanced Edition content enabled? [[spoiler: Fire Suppression.]]

* In Zoltan sectors, you can encounter a Zoltan SpacePolice chasing a Mantis ship through an asteroid field. If you decide to help the Mantis by fighting the Zoltan ship, they will be so grateful they will take "only" three fourths of the loot. The narration can only snark by saying "how civilized" they are.
* In a more "stupid funny" than "haha funny" way there is an event in the Captain's edition mod where a member of the crew turns out to be a Rebel traitor. Which becomes stupid funny if the member of the crew who is the traitor also happens to be the crew member generated via the "talk to the crew" event where one of your Mantis (a species who are fully capable just after birth) tell you they've just had a baby. Somehow in the few hours/days/months since their birth they decided to betray their parent and the new crew.
* How do rock crew members put out fires and repair damaged systems? [[PercussiveMaintenance By jumping up and down on the fire and then smacking the system with their bare fists!]] Somehow, this is just as effective as fire suppressant and wrenches.

* During one of the Lanius events, they will offer to sell you something, the text mentioning they seem to have an advanced translator due to their better than Lanius average grasp of the Common Language. You can choose to accept their deal, decline outright, or alternatively, decline the offer, but ask about their translator, which they offer to sell to you. One would except an Augment that opens Blue Options with the Lanius. What do you get? [[spoiler:A Lanius crewmember whose name is [[HisNameReallyIsBarkeep Translator.]]]]

* How do rock crew members put out fires and repair damaged systems? [[PercussiveMaintenance by jumping up and down on the fire and then smacking the system with their bare fists!]] Somehow, this is just as effective as fire suppressant and wrenches.

* In the Engi virus event, an Engi ship is ready to fire on yours because there's a computer virus aboard. If you have a Lanius crew member, you'll notice it gesturing frantically. That in itself is pretty amusing, since one may not expect a monstrous, metal-eating, oxygen-draining, walking [[ASongOfIceAndFire Iron Throne]] to hop around trying to get attention. The Lanius knows which computer on your ship holds the virus and simply eats the terminal to destroy the virus.

* During one of the Lanius events, they will offer to sell you something, the text mentioning they seem to have advanced translator due to their better than Lanius average grasp of the Common Language. You can choose to accept their deal, decline outright, or alternatively. Decline the offer, but ask about their translator, which they offer to sell to you. One would except an Augment that opens Blue Options with the Lanius. What do you get? [[spoiler: A Lanius crewmember whose name is [[HisNameReallyIsBarkeep Translator.]]]]

* One event has a ship of Slugs ask for your help in fixing their oxygen generation unit. Normally you get the option of either helping them or ignoring them, and if you help them then you wind up being boarded or losing a crew member. However, if you have [[InsectoidAliens a Mantis crew]] you get a special choice that results in: "Once on board, [[BlatantLies it becomes clear that nothing is wrong with their O2 system]]. Almost expecting this, [[BloodKnight your Mantis calmly responds to the trap]]. [[PaintTheTownRed Once a couple of the Slugs have been spread across the walls of their ship]], [[DidntThinkThisThrough the rest surrender.]]"

* One event has a ship of Slugs ask for your help in fixing their oxygen generation unit. Normally you get the option of either helping them or ignoring them, and if you help them then you wind up being boarded or losing a crew member. However, if you have [[InsectoidAliens a Mantis crew]] you get a special choice that results in: "Once on board, [[BlatantLies it becomes clear that nothing is wrong with their O2 system]]. [[GenreSavvy Almost expecting this]], [[BloodKnight your Mantis calmly responds to the trap]]. [[PaintTheTownRed Once a couple of the Slugs have been spread across the walls of their ship]], [[DidntThinkThisThrough the rest surrender.]]"

* During of the Lanius events, they will offer to sell you something, the text mentioning they seem to have advanced translator due to their better than Lanius average grasp of the Common Language. You can choose to accept their deal, decline outright, or alternatively. Decline the offer, but ask about their translator, which they offer to sell to you. One would except an Augment that opens Blue Options with the Lanius. What do you get? [[spoiler: A Lanius crewmember whose name is [[HisNameReallyIsBarkeep Translator.]]]]

* During of the Lanius events, they will offer to sell you something, the text mentioning they seem to have advanced translator due to their better than Lanius average grasp of the Common Language. You can choose to accept their deal, decline outright, or alternatively. Decline the offer, but ask about their translator, which they offer to sell to you. One would except an Augment that opens Blue Options with the Lanius. What do you get? [[spoiler: A Lanius crewmember who's name is [[HisNameReallyIsBarkeep Translator.]]]]

** Even better if said weapon is the [[GameBreaker Chain]] [[MoreDakka Vulcan]]. The most powerful weapon in the game that can turn anything short of the Flagship into scrap is just floating randomly through space and you came across it by sheer luck.

* If your crew dies during the Tutorial level (really, it is impossible to die in the tutorial unless you ''try''), the game sarcastically replies ''"[[EpicFail Somehow you've died during the introduction training exercise.]] [[NonStandardGameOver Feel free to try again but this doesn't bode well for your mission.]]"''

* If your crew dies during the Tutorial level, the game sarcastically replies ''"[[EpicFail Somehow you've died during the introduction training exercise.]] [[NonStandardGameOver Feel free to try again but this doesn't bode well for your mission.]]"''

* In Abandoned Sectors, the newly discovered Lanius are taking apart the debris fields. One of their surrender texts states that they use their limited knowledge of human culture to convey their meaning. They wave around {{WhiteFlag}}s WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes' style.

* If you have upgraded doors, and the enemy is dumb enough to teleport a boarding party into the airlock, you can open to airlock doors. [[VideoGameCrueltyPotential You can sit back and laugh while they attempt to bash the doors open as they slowly choke to death.]]

* If the enemy ship is on fire when you defeat it by way of killing all crew or making them surrender, it's possible that the system damage that the fire causes can finish off the ship, resulting in the sudden, amusing sight of the ship exploding while you're just idling around in the area after battle.

* One event has a ship of Slugs ask for your help in fixing their oxygen generation unit. Normally you get the option of either helping them or ignoring them, and if you help them then either being boarded or losing a crew member. However, if you have [[InsectoidAliens a Mantis crew]] you get a special choice that results in: "Once on board, [[BlatantLies it becomes clear that nothing is wrong with their O2 system]]. [[GenreSavvy Almost expecting this]], [[BloodKnight your Mantis calmly responds to the trap]]. [[PaintTheTownRed Once a couple of the Slugs have been spread across the walls of their ship]], [[DidntThinkThisThrough the rest surrender.]]"

* In Abandoned Sectors, the newly discovered Lanius are taking apart the debris fields. One of their surrender texts states that they use their limited knowledge of human culture to convey their meaning. They wave around white flags WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes' style.

* One event has a ship of Slugs ask for your help in fixing their oxygen generation unit. Normally you get the option of either helping them or ignoring them, and if you help them then either being boarded or losing a crew member. However, if you have [[InsectoidAliens a Mantis crew]] you get a special choice that results in: "Once on board, [{BlatantLies it becomes clear that nothing is wrong with their O2 system]]. [[GenreSavvy Almost expecting this]], [[BloodKnight your Mantis calmly responds to the trap]]. [[PaintTheTownRed Once a couple of the Slugs have been spread across the walls of their ship]], [[DidntThinkThisThrough the rest surrender.]]"