History Funny / DungeonsAndDragons

** Probably the saddest example (for me, at least) was during our third mission. My character (an Elven Druid) and the rest of the team were traveling through a dungeon, when we encountered a Troll. As it was the first time I had ever encountered one, I decided to charge the thing head-on. It turns out that it had reach, so it got an opprotunity attack on me. It got a critical, and did enough to kill my character in ''one hit''. In retrospect, it was sadly funny that I didn't use Wild Shape or a spell on it. In a schadenfreude sort of way.

** At one point, the four of us were discussing the Prestige Class "Drunken Master", specifically, the use of improvised weapons. We discussed the usual ideas of chairs, bottles, etc.. Then one of us brought up tearing the arms off of any already dead enemy and using said limbs to beat another character to dead. This was a funny idea. Then, someone else brought up using our allies as the weapons (like throwing them around). This was pretty hilarious. Then someone else considered grabbing two squirrels, tying their tails together, and using them like Nunchuks. I was going hysterical at this point. To this day, we still laugh or smile when someone brings up the "Gopher-Chuks".

** 2. A new player's evil character trying to push his allies (both [=PCs=] and [=NPCs=]) off a different tower. Each time he tried, however, he ended up getting thrown off instead. This resulted in him getting thrown off about seven times. In the end, after the battle was over, he even tried this again, with the same result. He was later cout-martialed, not only for this, but for trying to run away after the fourth attempt.

** 1. Our ranger deciding that the best option in fighting a Death Titan to be jumping off a 100-foot tall tower and breaking his leg. This ended up giving us two [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome CMOAs]]. First, our cleric rappelling down to carry him back up the tower and healing him. The other is that 3 PCs of about 7th level were able to defeat the Death Titan and his allies with minimal casulties (just that ranger).

** 1. Our ranger deciding that the best option in fighting a Death Titan to be jumping off a 100-foot tall tower and breaking his leg. This ended up giving us two CMOAs. First, our cleric rappelling down to carry him back up the tower and healing him. The other is that 3 PCs of about 7th level were able to defeat the Death Titan and his allies with minimal casulties (just that ranger).
** 2. A new player's evil character trying to push his allies (both PCs and NPCs) off a different tower. Each time he tried, however, he ended up getting thrown off instead. This resulted in him getting thrown off about seven times. In the end, after the battle was over, he even tried this again, with the same result. He was later cout-martialed, not only for this, but for trying to run away after the fourth attempt.

--> '''My Cousin:''' Yep!

** At one point, the four of us were discussing the Prestige Class "Drunken Master", specifically, the use of improvised weapons. We discussed the usual ideas of chairs, bottles, etc.. Then one of us brought up tearing the arms off of any already dead enemy and using said limbs to beat another character to dead. This was a funny idea. Then, someone else brought up using our allies as the weapons (like throwing them around). This was pretty hilarious. Then someone else considered grabbing two squirrels, tying their tails together, and using them like Nunchuks. I was going hysterical at this point. To this day, we still laugh or smile when someone brings up the "Gopher-Chuks".

** This Troper's first mission & first time playing D&D (3.5 edition, in case you're wondering) had one of the most hilarious moments involving a random joke. One player (let's go with Player C) was very annoyed about the layout of the mission: visit certain sites one at a time. Player C tries to go off on his own, but the DM wouldn't allow it (though his character, which I remember was a knight). So, Player C decides to roll a "Screw you!" check. Relunctantly, the DM allowed it. The result: a natural 20! It was hilarious. It's been months since then, and the incident is still a running joke.

* This Troper's first mission & first time playing D&D (3.5 edition, in case you're wondering) had one of the most hilarious moments involving a random joke. One player (let's go with Player C) was very annoyed about the layout of the mission: visit certain sites one at a time. Player C tries to go off on his own, but the DM wouldn't allow it (though his character, which I remember was a knight). So, Player C decides to roll a "Screw you!" check. Relunctantly, the DM allowed it. The result: a natural 20! I was hilarious. It's been months since then, and the incident is still a running joke.
** Later on (in the same mission), Player C became annoyed again, so he decided to roll a bitch-slap check. Again, the DM allowed and and again, he got a natural 20! Like the first incident, it became a running joke.

*** In speaking of that character, at one point, the four of us when on a pointless rant about the character if she were to die again. One of us brought up that she would somehow return from the dead out of nowhere and start killing all of the characters. The conversation eventually move to said character entering other forms of media and eventually going Meta, killing off characters and people (video games, anime, the U.S. Army, etc.). I was laughing so hard, I was crying!

** This Troper also invoked one, but in an "unforuntate event" way. His first character, an elf druid, had survived two mission and was on a third. All of the other originals died off in the second mission and I was feeling good. Then the team came up to a troll. I thought "Hey, this doesn't seem so bad..." and charge head-on to the thing. What I didn't realize was how strong trolls were and the fact that it had Reach, allowing it to opportunity-attack me. It ended up KILLING MY CHARACTER IN ONE SHOT!!! I. WAS. PISSED!!! So much harm work on the character and a troll one-shot it without it breaking a sweat. To this day, I still get pissed when my charaters die off, or get kinda peeved when my characters get attacked. The others laugh at my misfortune.
*** In my defense, some of my characters have died in SUCK ways. My Human Sorcerer was turned to stone by our guide (a Medusa in disguise), my Gnome Bard was eaten by a four-armed gorilla, and my Orc Barbarian was shot to shit by a flying Furie with a crossbow (while the rest of the team was already dead). Note that these were my first three characters AFTER my Elf Druid. So sad at first; in retrospect, kinda funny.

-->'''DM:''' You suck so much.

-->'''Another random dude:''' Yeah but you aren't faster than a grandma with a walker.

*** Another situation: Our party Monk, let's call him BS-Monk (because he was full of it) was one of those players who wizened to the fact that our DM was not catching up to all the rule changes, so he applied them to suit his own needs. Eventually, the other players got fed up with his overpowered mannerisms and character, so decided to set up a trap after reading up on all his abilities. Slow fall was a funny one, since he applied it in mid-air, even though there has to be a wall nearby to slow him. Of course we waited with calling him out on his bullshit shennanigans until the ''worst possible time'' (read: several hundred feet up in the air). To make a long story short: the DM was nice enough to let him only fall to an instant KO, instead of killing him outright. To futher add insult to injury: our resident rule master rolled a quick one-off character - a Monk! And that character managed to out perform the BS-Monk player at every turn in just one sessions, by just applying all ability rules and using them to the max. Nice TakeThat there. Needless to say, BS-Monk changed character quickly after that.

*** Another situation: Our party Monk, let's call him BS-Monk (because he was full of it) was one of those players who wizened to the fact that our DM was not catching up to all the rule changes, so he applied them to suit his own needs. Eventually, the other players got fed up with his overpowered mannerisms and character, so decided to set up a trap after reading up on all his abilities. Slow fall was a funny one, since he applied it in mid-air, even though there has to be a wall nearby to slow him. Of course we waited with calling him out on his bullshit shennanigans until the ''worst possible time'' (read: several hundred feet up in the air). To make a long story short: the DM was nice enough to let him only fall to an instant KO, instead of killing him outright. To futher add insult to injury: our resident rule master rolled a quick one-off character - a Monk! And that character managed to out perform the BS-Monk player at every turn in just one sessions, by just applying all ability rules and exploiting them to their max. Nice TakeThat there. Needless to say, BS-Monk changed character quickly after that.

*** I played a wizard. A typically bored-know-it-all one with a streak of evilness. When facing a beggar who lost his legs, who could move about on a plank on wheels. I as a squishy wizz decided it would be "fun" to topple the guy over. Well... instead of the DM looking through the rulebook to see what could stick, he proclaimed that my pitiful role was not going to cut it, and I managed to piss the beggar off. And said "beggar" was a war vet, who could still wield his ''axe'' to smite evildoers. "Ooh, did I mention he is quite fast on that plank and quite proficient with swinging his axe yet?". Cue my character running and a squeeky wheeled fighter chasing me through the streets. It became a running gag for a couple of sessions: Do a listen check... "You hear a squeeking noise in the distance, as if wheels are turning with anger and coming closer with the passing of time."

** Then later in the game, the whole group, myself included, and a few captured civilians were thrown into an underground gauntlet. And the sorcerer of the group, who was neutral evil (arguably), kept using the civilians we were with to test items and doors for traps... even though we had a rogue who was more than capable of disarming traps. When the last one died, the sorcerer called out to the man who threw us down there and asked for more civilians. The biggest joke out of this is that one of the group's members was a paladin, who could only stand by as his teammate sent people to their deaths because he owes the sorcerer a life debt.

* At the beginning of our current campaign, all our characters were slowly meeting up. The future leader of the party, traveling through the woods at night, came across my character's tent, and, seeing an assassin crouching outside, decided to save me from an unpleasant fate. He engaged the assassin, and my character, a sorcerer, awoke to the sound of combat outside. Having drunk himself to sleep the previous night, he wasn't all there, and charged screaming at the leader, under the assumption that he was the attacker. The leader took a hit from the sorcerer's mace and countered by shoving him backward, at which point the sorcerer passed out again. Then the assassin came after him again, and things were looking bad. After a successful constitution check, the sorcerer woke up, and proceeded to belch lightning all over the fight. I rolled the 3d8s for Lightning Breath and got a full 24. The leader, meanwhile, rolled a 20 on his reflex save, so the lightning missed him entirely and completely blew away the assassin. The DM had intended this to be a difficult encounter, and a drunken character who everyone assumed was out of commission had just ended the fight in the most ludicrous way possible. The look on his face, and those of the other players' was absolutely priceless.

GM: *Facepalm* ...the crowd flees from you. Party gapes in astonishment.

* Two friends of mine joined my DnD for the first time, and we were in the middle of a dungeon at the time. The DM plops them down in two random rooms and they have to fend off a monster. One of them was a equipped with Nuncucks, and when he tried to use them he rolled a one, and as a result he gave himself a black eye, bloody nose, hit his groin, broke his own foot, and knocked himself on his ass. The other one had some bad luck, nothing amazingly worthy, until he tried to drink a health potion. When trying to drink the potion, he managed to crush the vial, bury the glass into his hand, cut himself in the face, slip on the potion, fall onto more pieces of glass, and then when he tries to use his last breath to stab the monster, he cuts his own arm off and dies.

* This troper just played his first session of [=DnD=] as an Eladrin Warlock. We snuck up on a group of 4 goblins in a heated argument. One of my teammates suddenly has the brilliant idea of walking up to the goblins and joining the argument. Our GM agreed and set a Bluff check to do this. Since I had the highest Bluff modifier with +8, as opposed to two +1s and a -1, I was nominated. Not only did I join the argument without rising any suspicion, which had been in Goblin until this point. I tricked them into switching to Common so we could understand, only to discover the argument was whether or not fish stink worse than goblins. The entire party considers this both a CMOF and a CMOA.

* This troper just played his first session of DnD as an Eladrin Warlock. We snuck up on a group of 4 goblins in a heated argument. One of my teammates suddenly has the brilliant idea of walking up to the goblins and joining the argument. Our GM agreed and set a Bluff check to do this. Since I had the highest Bluff modifier with +8, as opposed to two +1s and a -1, I was nominated. Not only did I join the argument without rising any suspicion, which had been in Goblin until this point. I tricked them into switching to Common so we could understand, only to discover the argument was whether or not fish stink worse than goblins. The entire party considers this both a CMOF and a CMOA.

* This troper just played his first session of DnD as an Eladrin Warlock. We snuck up on a group of 4 goblins in a heated argument. One of my teammates suddenly has the brilliant idea of walking up to the goblins and joining the argument. Our GM agreed and set a Bluff check to do this. Since I had the highest Bluff modifier with +8, as opposed to two +1s and a -1, I was nominated. Not only did I join the argument without rising any suspicion, which had been in Goblin until this point. I tricked them into switching to Common so we could understand, only to discover the argument was whether or not fish stink worse than goblins. The entire party considers this both a CMoF and a CMoA.

* It was the early '90s, and we bunch of high-schoolers were trying out our first serious gaming sessions. The party leader was a half-elf bard who, in practice, was basically the smoothest, most charming ninja badass you ever knew... but he'd always fail his climbing checks at the worst possible time and need intensive care after each fall. The dwarf fighter eventually quipped "we got stuck with the only elf-blooded man in this world who can't climb a tree to save his life."

* This Troper has a pet peeve with some of the moments but the hilarity behind it helps me get through it. So before I was Dm I was a Bard wandering around with my party. We left some rinky dink village without a care heading into the mountains for the sword of a 1000 white lies. Before we can reach the mountains we see a rope bridge above a river. The 600 pound Warforged Barbarian walks across. The 100 pound Bard walks across, rope bridge snaps. Barbarian's reaction "Fat***" Than proceeds to save me.

* This Troper has a pet peeve with some of the moments but the hilarity behind it helps me get through it. So before I was Dm I was a Bard wandering around with my party. We left some rinky dink village without a care heading into the mountains for the sword of a 1000 white lies. Before we can reach the mountains we see a rope bridge above a river. The 600 pound Warforged Barbarian walks across. The 100 pound Bard walks across rope bridge snaps. Barbarian's reaction "Fat***" Than proceeds to save me.

* This Troper has a pet peeve with some of the moments but the hilarity behind it helps me get through it. So before I was Dm I was a Bard wandering around with my party. We left some rinky dink village without a care heading into the mountains for the sword of a 1000 white lies. Before we can reach the mountains we see a rope bridge above a river. The 600 pound Warforged Barbarian walks across. The 100 pound Bard walks across rope bridge snaps. Barbarian's reaction "Fat***" Than proceeds to save me.

* This Troper has a pet peeve with some of the moments but the hilarity behind it helps me get through it. So before I was Dm I was a Bard wandering around with my party. We left some rinky dink village without a care heading into the mountains for the sword of a 1000 white lies. Before we can reach the mountains we see a rope bridge above a river. The 600 pound Warforged Barbarian walks across. The 100 pound Bard walks across rope bridge snaps. Barbarian's reaction "Fat***" Than proceeds to save him.

* This Troper was playing a game where the DM was running custom creatures called Ozes. I come into the game in the second session, with giant ozes crushing the town we're in. Apparently someone had broken an oze-rod dropped by a dead oze. I tell the DM I would like to bitch-slap the idiot who broke the rod. He gets distracted by someone else and I say I'm going to roll for sneaking across town. The DM comes back to see me roll a natural 20, to which he replys,"That's a damn powerful slap!"