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--> '''Maid''': Ooh, professor! Ten out of ten!
--> '''Van Helsing''': Ja. I still got it!
--> '''Van Helsing''': Ja. I still got it!
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* Renfield trying to imitate Dracula's graceful swoop from his asylum window - and failing.
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* Dracula's reaction to the strands of garlic in Lucy's bedroom.
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Rename.
Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
* Van Helsing asks if Dracula is related to Vlad the Impaler, before giving a gory description of Vlad's atrocities. Dracula's response? "[[DeadBabyComedy They had it coming]]."
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* Van Helsing asks if Dracula is related to Vlad the Impaler, before giving a gory description of Vlad's atrocities. Dracula's response? "[[DeadBabyComedy "[[BlackComedy They had it coming]]."
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* The scene where Mina attempts to seduce John after being bitten by Dracula is comedy gold.
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* The medical examination scene. ''Everyone'' faints as Van Helsing conducts an autopsy except for one snot-nosed punk, who also faints after he's forced to examine the brain.
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* Van Helsing asks if Dracula is related to Vlad the Impaler, before giving a gory description of Vlad's atrocities. Dracula's response? "[[DeadBabyComedy They had it coming]]."
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* The [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=-MbDKR50tn0&NR=1 Dance of the Undead]]. Mina and Dracula strike a pose...at which point the Count's LivingShadow proceeds to start screwing Mina's.
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Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Renfield''': [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXcJTbgt1N8&feature=related My God!]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint What ARE you doing to the furniture?]]
to:
-->'''Renfield''': [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXcJTbgt1N8&feature=related My God!]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint [[ComicallyMissingThePoint What ARE you doing to the furniture?]]
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Van Helsing''': How much blood can she have left?
to:
-->'''Van Helsing''': [[TemptingFate How much blood can she have left?left?]]
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Changed line(s) 8 (click to see context) from:
** And that wasn't the first time [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3jGXHa-HxM he'd had some troubles with hypnosis]].
to:
** And [[BrickJoke that wasn't the first time time]] [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3jGXHa-HxM he'd had some troubles with hypnosis]].
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Changed line(s) 31 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Dracula''': (Mockingly) ''May I help you?'' Why did you not tell him?
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-->'''Dracula''': (Mockingly) [mockingly] ''May I help you?'' Why did you not tell him?
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** To compound the comedy, just after Dracula introduces himself and begins a conversation with Dr. Seward, the woman - back in the trance - returns and delivers the message after all.
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If You Know What I Mean cleanup
Changed line(s) 24 (click to see context) from:
* After Dracula breaks up his brides's attempts to [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean "wrong"]] Renfield's brains out, they begin to glide out, with the same ethereal creepy music that played when they came in. After a second, Dracula snaps "And stop that!", and they just trudge out.
to:
* After Dracula breaks up his brides's attempts to [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean "wrong"]] "wrong" Renfield's brains out, they begin to glide out, with the same ethereal creepy music that played when they came in. After a second, Dracula snaps "And stop that!", and they just trudge out.
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Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Renfield''': [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXcJTbgt1N8&feature=related My God!]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint What are you doing to the furniture?]]
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-->'''Renfield''': [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXcJTbgt1N8&feature=related My God!]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint What are ARE you doing to the furniture?]]
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* "I didn't see anything! I didn't see anything!" ({{Beat}}) "I saw EVERYTHING."
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Changed line(s) 38 (click to see context) from:
* Renfield has a nice spot of tea with Dr. Seward to prove he's not insane but can't resist eating insects around him, which Seward notices.
to:
* Renfield [[http://youtu.be/iNX4nLvIP0Q has a nice spot of tea with Dr. Seward Seward]] to prove he's not insane but can't resist eating insects around him, which Seward notices.
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Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Renfield''': My God! [[CompletelyMissingThePoint What are you doing to the furniture?]]
to:
-->'''Renfield''': [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXcJTbgt1N8&feature=related My God! God!]] [[CompletelyMissingThePoint What are you doing to the furniture?]]
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Changed line(s) 2 (click to see context) from:
* The funniest moment in the entire movie may be the "hypnosis" scene as a whole, when Dracula, standing outside of the house, tries to guide Mina out of her bedroom. ("Walk to the door. ... Mina, you are in the closet.")
to:
* The funniest moment in the entire movie may be the "hypnosis" scene as a whole, when Dracula, standing outside of the house, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vULYUy4buw tries to guide Mina out of her bedroom. bedroom.]] ("Walk to the door. ... Mina, you are in the closet.")
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** And that wasn't the first time [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3jGXHa-HxM he'd had some troubles with hypnosis]].
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Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
** The scene was also, it should be noted, EnforcedMethodActing. Jonathan's actor had ''no idea'' how much blood was going to be shooting out, and you can tell he's struggling to keep a straight face.
to:
** The scene was also, it should be noted, EnforcedMethodActing. Jonathan's actor Steven Weber had ''no idea'' how much blood was going to be shooting out, and you can tell he's struggling to keep a straight face.
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Changed line(s) 11 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Van Helsing''': She just ate! Do it again!
to:
-->'''Van Helsing''': She just ate! ate!
-->'''Jonathan''': Ah! She's still alive!
-->'''Van Helsing''': Do it again!
-->'''Jonathan''': Ah! She's still alive!
-->'''Van Helsing''': Do it again!
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* Renfield has a nice spot of tea with Dr. Seward to prove he's not insane but can't resist eating insects around him, which Seward notices.
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-->'''Dracula:''' You will be my bride throughout eternity. We'll share the endless passion of immortal love.
-->'''Essie (Mina's less attractive maid):''' Oh I can't wait!
-->'''Dracula:''' ''[stares at her in surprise]'' Not '''YOU'''!
-->''Takes her back inside and throws her on the floor, and carries Mina out, walking very fast''
-->'''Dracula:''' ''Youwillbemybridethroughouteternity, we'llsharetheendlesspassionofimmortallove.''
-->'''Essie (Mina's less attractive maid):''' Oh I can't wait!
-->'''Dracula:''' ''[stares at her in surprise]'' Not '''YOU'''!
-->''Takes her back inside and throws her on the floor, and carries Mina out, walking very fast''
-->'''Dracula:''' ''Youwillbemybridethroughouteternity, we'llsharetheendlesspassionofimmortallove.''
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQtDFTUm370&feature=related The dance scene]]
to:
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQtDFTUm370&feature=related The dance scene]]scene]].
Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Dracula''': About...the ''message.''
to:
-->'''Dracula''': About... the ''message.''
Changed line(s) 29 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Dracula''': Oh, now THAT, you remember!
to:
-->'''Dracula''': Oh, now THAT, you remember!remember!
----
----
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Changed line(s) 17 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Renfield''': My God! [[CompletelyMissingThePoint What are you doing to the furniture?]]
to:
-->'''Renfield''': My God! [[CompletelyMissingThePoint What are you doing to the furniture?]]furniture?]]
* The RunningGag with Dracula and Van Helsing each trying to get in the last word in "ancient Moldavian." Also possibly relevant to the plot, as Van Helsing realizes that Dracula, like the mysterious vampire, never gives up.
* Dracula's attempt to hypnotize the woman at the opera.
-->'''Dracula''':...And you will remember nothing of what I have told you.
-->''Beat. The woman nods, and walks over to Dracula as though seeing him for the first time.''
-->'''Woman''': May I help you, sir?
-->'''Dracula''': (Mockingly) ''May I help you?'' Why did you not tell him?
-->'''Woman''': About what?
-->'''Dracula''': About...the ''message.''
-->'''Woman''': For who?
-->'''Dracula''': Never mind! I will tell him myself. And for your miserable performance, you shall receive ''no tip''!
-->'''Woman''': No tip!?
-->'''Dracula''': Oh, now THAT, you remember!
* The RunningGag with Dracula and Van Helsing each trying to get in the last word in "ancient Moldavian." Also possibly relevant to the plot, as Van Helsing realizes that Dracula, like the mysterious vampire, never gives up.
* Dracula's attempt to hypnotize the woman at the opera.
-->'''Dracula''':...And you will remember nothing of what I have told you.
-->''Beat. The woman nods, and walks over to Dracula as though seeing him for the first time.''
-->'''Woman''': May I help you, sir?
-->'''Dracula''': (Mockingly) ''May I help you?'' Why did you not tell him?
-->'''Woman''': About what?
-->'''Dracula''': About...the ''message.''
-->'''Woman''': For who?
-->'''Dracula''': Never mind! I will tell him myself. And for your miserable performance, you shall receive ''no tip''!
-->'''Woman''': No tip!?
-->'''Dracula''': Oh, now THAT, you remember!
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Changed line(s) 5,11 (click to see context) from:
->'''Jonathan''': Oh... my... GOD! There's so much blood.
->'''Van Helsing''': She just ate! Do it again!
->'''Jonathan''': Oh, no, I can't...
->'''Van Helsing''': How much blood can she have left?
->'''Jonathan''': [''bangs the stake again and is further drenched'']
->'''Van Helsing''': She's almost dead!
->'''Jonathan''': She's ''dead enough.''
->'''Van Helsing''': She just ate! Do it again!
->'''Jonathan''': Oh, no, I can't...
->'''Van Helsing''': How much blood can she have left?
->'''Jonathan''': [''bangs the stake again and is further drenched'']
->'''Van Helsing''': She's almost dead!
->'''Jonathan''': She's ''dead enough.''
to:
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Changed line(s) 16 (click to see context) from:
* After Dracula breaks up his brides's attempts to [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean "wrong"]] Renfield's brains out, they begin to glide out, with the same ethereal creepy music that played when they came in. After a second, Dracula snaps "And stop that!", and they just trudge out.
to:
* After Dracula breaks up his brides's attempts to [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean "wrong"]] Renfield's brains out, they begin to glide out, with the same ethereal creepy music that played when they came in. After a second, Dracula snaps "And stop that!", and they just trudge out.out.
-->'''Renfield''': My God! [[CompletelyMissingThePoint What are you doing to the furniture?]]
-->'''Renfield''': My God! [[CompletelyMissingThePoint What are you doing to the furniture?]]
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Changed line(s) 14 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Van Helsing''': I have been to many, many stakings. You have to know where to stand.
to:
--->'''Van Helsing''': I have been to many, many stakings. You have to know where to stand. You know, everything in life is location, location, location...
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Changed line(s) 14,15 (click to see context) from:
->'''Van Helsing''': I have been to many, many stakings. You have to know where to stand.
* "Renfield, you asshole!"
* "Renfield, you asshole!"
to:
* "Renfield, you
* After Dracula breaks up his brides's attempts to [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean "wrong"]] Renfield's brains out, they begin to glide out, with the same ethereal creepy music that played when they came in. After a second, Dracula snaps "And stop that!", and they just trudge out.
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Changed line(s) 1 (click to see context) from:
[[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQtDFTUm370&feature=related This whole scene]]
to:
* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQtDFTUm370&feature=related This The dance scene]]
* The funniest moment in the entire movie may be the "hypnosis" scene as a whole, when Dracula, standing outside of the house, tries to guide Mina out of her bedroom. ("Walk to the door. ... Mina, you are in the closet.")
* Van Helsing telling Seward and Jonathan "She will become one herseeeelf!!!" in an overly dramatic and hammy fashion. When asked to repeat himself, he says it in the ''exact same way.''
* The wholescene]]exchange between Jonathan and Van Helsing when Jonathan has to kill Lucy. Van Helsing tells Jonathan that he (Jonathan) must be the one to do it, and sets Jonathan up in front of the body with a stake and mallet. Van Helsing then goes to stand behind a pillar, and Jonathan bangs the stake into her heart and a veritable ''geyser'' of blood erupts, drenching him.
->'''Jonathan''': Oh... my... GOD! There's so much blood.
->'''Van Helsing''': She just ate! Do it again!
->'''Jonathan''': Oh, no, I can't...
->'''Van Helsing''': How much blood can she have left?
->'''Jonathan''': [''bangs the stake again and is further drenched'']
->'''Van Helsing''': She's almost dead!
->'''Jonathan''': She's ''dead enough.''
** The scene was also, it should be noted, EnforcedMethodActing. Jonathan's actor had ''no idea'' how much blood was going to be shooting out, and you can tell he's struggling to keep a straight face.
** And then shortly after that...
->'''Van Helsing''': I have been to many, many stakings. You have to know where to stand.
* "Renfield, you asshole!"
* The funniest moment in the entire movie may be the "hypnosis" scene as a whole, when Dracula, standing outside of the house, tries to guide Mina out of her bedroom. ("Walk to the door. ... Mina, you are in the closet.")
* Van Helsing telling Seward and Jonathan "She will become one herseeeelf!!!" in an overly dramatic and hammy fashion. When asked to repeat himself, he says it in the ''exact same way.''
* The whole
->'''Jonathan''': Oh... my... GOD! There's so much blood.
->'''Van Helsing''': She just ate! Do it again!
->'''Jonathan''': Oh, no, I can't...
->'''Van Helsing''': How much blood can she have left?
->'''Jonathan''': [''bangs the stake again and is further drenched'']
->'''Van Helsing''': She's almost dead!
->'''Jonathan''': She's ''dead enough.''
** The scene was also, it should be noted, EnforcedMethodActing. Jonathan's actor had ''no idea'' how much blood was going to be shooting out, and you can tell he's struggling to keep a straight face.
** And then shortly after that...
->'''Van Helsing''': I have been to many, many stakings. You have to know where to stand.
* "Renfield, you asshole!"
