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*** In the same exchange discussing [[spoiler: the lamp broken in the fight. Matthew apologizes for breaking it.]]
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Oh no need, it was a wedding present from a wretched aunt. I have ''hated'' it for half a century.
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Oh no need, it was a wedding present from a wretched aunt. I have ''hated'' it for half a century.
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* Molseley dancing like a maniac after being hit by the liquor meant for O'Brien.
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-->'''Matthew Crawley:''' Hardly. They were invented by Thomas Jefferson.
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-->'''Matthew Crawley:''' Hardly. They were invented by Thomas Jefferson.ThomasJefferson.
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** And when discussing the scandal with Cora
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' We can't have him assassinated. . .I suppose.
** About Sir Richard
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' It's not that I dislike him, I just don't like him.
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' We can't have him assassinated. . .I suppose.
** About Sir Richard
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' It's not that I dislike him, I just don't like him.
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* This exchange (about Thomas after he was outed)
--> '''Mrs Hughes:''' Do you think he's the first of. . .that type I've met?
--> '''Carson:''' I should hope so!
--> '''Mrs Hughes:''' Do you think he's the first of. . .that type I've met?
--> '''Carson:''' I should hope so!
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* When Coras' mother is visiting, Lady Grantham has this gem.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' I'm so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When I'm with her, I'm reminded of the virtues of the English.
-->'''Matthew:''' But isn't she American?
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Exactly.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' I'm so looking forward to seeing your mother again. When I'm with her, I'm reminded of the virtues of the English.
-->'''Matthew:''' But isn't she American?
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Exactly.
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* Robert cementing himself as [[WhatAnIdiot not the brightest man]] by suggesting he invest the family's finances with [[{{Ponzi}} an American chap named Ponzi]].
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* Lady Grantham's disdain for the new-fangled dinner jackets.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Certainly not! Oh, do you think I might have a drink? (turns and sees it's Robert) Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a waiter.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Certainly not! Oh, do you think I might have a drink? (turns and sees it's Robert) Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a waiter.
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* Lady Grantham's The Dowager Countess' disdain for the new-fangled dinner jackets.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' -->'''Violet:''' Certainly not! Oh, do you think I might have a drink? (turns and sees it's Robert) Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a waiter.
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** Made even better by the quick shot of Carson's rather pleased reaction.
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* As everyone discusses the deadly serious topic of Branson's involvement in the burning of an English family's castle in Ireland, Violet can't help repeatedly bringing up how ugly the place was.
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** Although this is a little sad in hindsight, when one realizes that [[spoiler: Edith is once again the least fortunate sister]] even in this regard. Consider that Sybil's marriage to [[spoiler: Tom, a handsome and fiery rebel]] is clearly passionate, considering how quickly [[spoiler: she got pregnant]], Mary [[spoiler: has married the dashing and romantic Matthew]] and the first two episodes of season 3 made it clear that their relationship certainly does not lack passion. This impending marriage, on the other hand, does not seem likely to yield much in that department.
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* Mrs. Patmore unsuccessfully trying to inform Daisy that Thomas [[StraightGay isn't interested in her.]] Daisy doesn't seem to understand what "He's not a [[{{Casanova}} ladies' man]]" and "[[TroubledButCute he's a troubled soul]]" are supposed to mean.
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* Mrs. Patmore unsuccessfully trying to inform Daisy that Thomas [[StraightGay isn't interested in her.]] Daisy doesn't seem to understand what "He's not a [[{{Casanova}} [[TheCasanova ladies' man]]" and "[[TroubledButCute he's a troubled soul]]" are supposed to mean.
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How is that funny??
Deleted line(s) 35 (click to see context) :
* The morning after O'Brian's manipulations to make Thomas look like a DepravedHomosexual to James have come to fruition (with Alfred witnessing the event as an unexpected bonus), Thomas tries to make peace with them by... offering them a mostly empty plate of ''toast''. He just silently picks it up and offers it to them.
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* Robert Crawley, Earl of Nonchalance:
-->'''Robert''': If I'd screamed blue murder every time someone tried to kiss me at Eton, I'd have gone hoarse in a month.
-->'''Robert''': If I'd screamed blue murder every time someone tried to kiss me at Eton, I'd have gone hoarse in a month.
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* The morning after O'Brian's manipulations to make Thomas look like a DepravedHomosexual to James have come to fruition (with Alfred witnessing the event as an unexpected bonus), Thomas tries to make peace with them by... offering them a mostly empty plate of ''toast''. He just silently picks it up and offers it to them.
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* Lady Grantham's disdain for the new-fangled dinner jackets.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Certainly not! Oh, do you think I might have a drink? (turns and sees it's Robert) Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a waiter.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Certainly not! Oh, do you think I might have a drink? (turns and sees it's Robert) Oh, I'm so sorry. I thought you were a waiter.
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* This exchange between Lady Grantham and Sybil, right before [[spoiler:Edith's]] wedding:
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' I really think you should go to bed. No bride wants to look tired on her wedding, that means she’s anxious or up to no good.
-->'''[[spoiler:Edith]]:''' I won't sleep a wink.
--> '''Sybil:''' Tonight or tomorrow?
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Sybil, vulgarity is no substitute for wit.
--> '''Sybil:''' You started it.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' I really think you should go to bed. No bride wants to look tired on her wedding, that means she’s anxious or up to no good.
-->'''[[spoiler:Edith]]:''' I won't sleep a wink.
--> '''Sybil:''' Tonight or tomorrow?
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Sybil, vulgarity is no substitute for wit.
--> '''Sybil:''' You started it.
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* Mrs. Patmore unsuccessfully trying to inform Daisy that Thomas [[StraightGay isn't interested in her.]] Daisy doesn't seem to understand what "He's not a [[{{Casanova}} ladies' man]]" and "[[TroubledButCute he's a troubled soul]]" are supposed to mean.
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* After Mrs. Crawley accuses the Dowager of telling Mary to refuse Matthew until Cora's baby is born.
--> Dowager Countess: Your quarrel is with my daughter Rosamund. I told her to accept him, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.
--> Dowager Countess: Your quarrel is with my daughter Rosamund. I told her to accept him, so put that in your pipe and smoke it.
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** That said, Carson's stuffy nature can become so hilarious that it's an inside joke among some of Downton's residents. Among one of his more memorable moments is his epic rivalry with the new ''telephone.''
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** Let's not forget this gem, after Pamuk's death:
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Of course it would happen to a foreigner. It's typical. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house - especially somebody they didn't even know.
-->'''Lady Grantham:''' Of course it would happen to a foreigner. It's typical. No Englishman would dream of dying in someone else's house - especially somebody they didn't even know.
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--> [[spoiler:'''Sir Richard:''' I doubt we shall see each other again, Lady Grantham.]]
to:
--> [[spoiler:'''Sir Richard:''' (to Lady Grantham) I doubt we shall see each other again, Lady Grantham.we'll meet again.]]
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** Right after [[spoiler: Matthew and Sir Richard have a fight, following Mary ending the engagement, and deciding to leave Downton Abbey first thing in the morning]]:
--> [[spoiler:'''Sir Richard:''' I doubt we shall see each other again, Lady Grantham.]]
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Do you promise?
--> [[spoiler:'''Sir Richard:''' I doubt we shall see each other again, Lady Grantham.]]
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' Do you promise?
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-->'''Violet:''' You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.
-->'''Isobel:''' I take that as a compliment.
-->'''Violet:''' I must have said it wrong.
-->'''Isobel:''' I take that as a compliment.
-->'''Violet:''' I must have said it wrong.
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--> ''"What is a week-end?"''
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----
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--> '''Lady Grantham:''' "Good heavens, what am I sitting on!?"
--> '''Matthew Crawley:''' "A swivel-chair."
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' "Another modern brainwave?"
--> '''Matthew Crawley:''' "Hardly--they were invented by Thomas Jefferson."
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' ''"Why does every day involve a fight with an American?"''
--> '''Matthew Crawley:''' "A swivel-chair."
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' "Another modern brainwave?"
--> '''Matthew Crawley:''' "Hardly--they were invented by Thomas Jefferson."
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' ''"Why does every day involve a fight with an American?"''
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--> '''Matthew
-->'''Matthew Crawley:'''
--> '''Lady
-->'''Lady Grantham:'''
--> '''Matthew
-->'''Matthew Crawley:'''
--> '''Lady
-->'''Lady Grantham:'''
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* Mr. Carson's reveal of his ''shameful'' past as a stage performer, which to him seems to be on the same level as murdering someone.
to:
* Mr. Carson's reveal of his ''shameful'' past as a stage performer, which to him seems to be on the same level as murdering someone.someone.
----
----
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** And, of course, nearly falling over in the swivel-chair:
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' "Good heavens, what am I sitting on!?"
--> '''Matthew Crawley:''' "A swivel-chair."
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' "Another modern brainwave?"
--> '''Matthew Crawley:''' "Hardly--they were invented by Thomas Jefferson."
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' ''"Why does every day involve a fight with an American?"''
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' "Good heavens, what am I sitting on!?"
--> '''Matthew Crawley:''' "A swivel-chair."
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' "Another modern brainwave?"
--> '''Matthew Crawley:''' "Hardly--they were invented by Thomas Jefferson."
--> '''Lady Grantham:''' ''"Why does every day involve a fight with an American?"''
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* The Dowager Countess has some of the funniest lines in the show.
--> ''"What is a week-end?"''
--> ''"What is a week-end?"''
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--> '''Dowager Countess:''' What is a week-end?"
