History Funny / DarkSoulsIII

-->A gem of infused titanite, said to be an object of infatuation for victims of stunted development. Used in infusion to create simple weapons. Simple weapons inflict magic damage and restore FP very gradually, to help even a simpleton muster some mettle.

* Seeing the Ashes of the Lords of Cinder is meant to be a solemn reminder of how far you've come in the game thus far... except for the Abyss Watcher's Cinders, which manifests in game as four skulls wearing their [[NiceHat metal cone head caps]]. It seems so out of place with the tone of the game as to be absurd.

* Also in the Irithyll Dungeon, if you've opened the cell Siegward can be found in in but haven't continued his questline that far, then wander back to Irithyll of the Boreal Valley and progress the questline, when you go back to the Dungeon, Siegward will still be sitting there patiently waiting for you to rescue him. They don't close or lock the door after sticking him in it. He's waiting to be rescued ''from an unlocked cell''. Nice going, dude.

* One particular item gank in Lothric Castle deserves a mention. You just ran past two dragons breathing fire on a bridge, you come into a dark room filled with exploding barrels but unless you look around you won't notice the three Firebomb-throwers readying their explosives. You see an item glowing in the distance and run towards it. You'll have just enough time to find out that you just obtained three ''Black Firebombs'' before you see the entire room blow up and taking you with it.

** The video’s intro is a parody of the [[MemeticMutation memetic]] intro to Blend S, with Dark Souls III characters.

---> ‘’’Great:’’’ Smile!
---> ‘’’Fire Keeper:’’’ Sweet!
---> ‘’’Sister Friede:’’’ Sister!
---> ‘’’Patches:’’’ Sadistic!
---> ‘’’Siegward:’’’ Surprise!
---> ‘’’Andre and the Shrine Handmaid:’’’ Service!
---> ‘’’Oceiros:’’’ [[OneOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers IGNORANT SLAVES…]]

-->"The desiccated right hand of a white-faced locust that rose from the abyssal swamp, that happens to perform as a catalyst for sorcery. The white-faced locusts were meant to beckon men to the dark with sermons, but most of them are unable to think past their own stomachs, the unruly mob!"

-->''The wearer of this fine attire was admired by friends and enemies alike, [[DirtyCoward for his skills were unmatched]], [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder and his heart was true as gold]]. As it's new owner, you have quite the shoes to fill.''

* This may sound like a [[NightmareFetishist weird example]] to some, but in the Irithyll Dungeon, there are [[spoiler:corpses with items that [[JumpScare will scream a horrifying shriek]] when you pick them up.]] The funny part is that [[spoiler:[[AntiClimax they do nothing]]. As in, their screams do not attract enemies, nor cause damage or even a debuff]]. You could argue that they were put in for ambiance, but by the [[spoiler:[[TrollingCreator fourth time this happens]]]], most people will be usually screaming "Are you serious?!"

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf3Wj_d-aOE How to deploy the Armor of Thorns Set to it's deadliest effect: gather a group of fellows with the same armor, start a Kirk fan club, and destroy your foes by just rolling into them.]] It works on invaders, enemies, and ''bosses'' alike!

** The Fallen Knight Set also carries a bit of Fridge Humour: It's name can be interpreted as a set of armour which belonged to a knight who fell from somewhere high above. A bit further from where you find that armour set, you can get on a bridge, where the Stray Demon mini-boss resides. This demon has a grabbing attack, where it throws you away after grabbing hold of you, which can result in you being hurled off the bridge to your doom. The funny part settles in once you connect the dots: the knight, of whom the armour set used to belong to, challenged the Stray Demon, but eventually was thrown off the bridge to his death. The aforementioned part of the Trousers' description above even alludes to this with it's line of [[BringMyBrownPants "stained with the misery of flight".]]
* In Irithyll of the Boreal Valley, if you go upstairs from Siegward's location, you'll find a Silver Knight staring intently at a picture on the wall. Get closer and you'll see it's an aged, faded painting of [[spoiler:[[MsFanservice Gwynevere.]]]] Even divine knights need their cheesecake.

* One of the many enemy types the player encounters is a GiantEnemyCrab. It's worth noting that the uniqueness of Dark Souls enemies, when compared to other games, is about themselves demonstrating a degree of self-preservation. And so, what makes the Giant Enemy Crab funny is that this particular enemy often does something that monsters from other videogames tend to do: Stupidly expose its own vulnerable spot at random intervals, allowing the player to initiate a free critical hit to AttackItsWeakPoint for massive damage.

* There is something just absurdly hilarious at how out of place the living skeletons are in the Catacombs of Carthus. While there are more interesting enemy variants, a good chunk of the enemies you will encounter there are literally just [[DemBones living, unarmored skeletons]]. In a game where a good chunk of RPG tropes are averted, subverted and played with, it's rather amusing to see such a significant one played so utterly straight.

* A common player anecdote about the [[spoiler: Soul of Cinder]] is getting to the second phase, [[spoiler: hearing Gwyn's music]] and [[DamnYouMuscleMemory instinctively going for a parry]]. Cue [[SoLastSeason "You Died"]].
* If the Ashen One kill the Giants in the Cathedral of the Deep before Patches tricks them, he'll [[FailedASpotCheck fail to notice]] until the bridge starts to lower:

* In the Ringed City DLC, set after the player has returned the Lords to their throne, the apocalyptic landscape of the Dreg Heap is dotted with messages from Slave Knight Gael. Each one is set at the edge of a long, typically-lethal fall, encouraging the player to jump, as if in reference to [[{{Troll}} the many messages players have left throughout the series to trick others.]]

* Speaking of hilarious item descriptions, heres the one for the Preacher's Right Arm, whatnot with the sudden mood change near the end:
-->"The dessicated right hand of a white-faced locust that rose from the abyssal swamp, that happens to perform as a catalyst for sorcery. The white-faced locusts were meant to beckon men to the dark with sermons, but most of them are unable to think past their own stomachs, the unruly mob!"

* [[spoiler:After you help Lapp find the Purging Monument in the Ringed City DLC, he will point you towards a nearby ledge, saying that there's treasure there (which by itself is hilarious if the player recognizes where that happened before). After you take a look, you guessed it, Lapp, now revealed to be Patches, kicks you off the ledge and leaves after wishing you good luck. After you look around, it turns out to be the right way to proceed. After thinking about it, this makes Patches seem less of a {{Jerkass}} and more of a {{Tsundere}}.]]

--> '''Yellowfinger Heysel has died.'''

* The description of the [[http://darksouls3.wiki.fextralife.com/Simple+Gem Simple Gem]] (used to grant RegeneratingMana through weapon enchantment) is dripping with EasyModeMockery. From Software ''[[DevelopersForesight knew]]'' this mechanic was going to be [[ComplacentGamingSyndrome abused by certain players]], just like it was in DemonsSouls with the Crescent Falchion +1:

* Yellowfinger Heysel invades the player for the second time in Farron Keep, making an already nightmarish level even more difficult. However, she spawns in the area of the swamp filled with [[DemonicSpiders Basilisks,]] and if the player uses a Seed of A Giant Tree quickly enough, the Basilisks have a very high chance of ganking Heysel before the player even sees her.

* In the Ringed City DLC, set after the player has returned the Lords to their throne, the apocalyptic landscape of the Dreg Heap is dotted with messages from Slave Knight Gael. Each one is set at the edge of a long, typically-lethal fall, encouraging the player to jump, as if in reference to [[{{Troll}} the many messages players have left throughout the series to trick others.]]

* One of the many enemy types the player encounters is a GiantEnemyCrab. It's worth noting that the uniqueness of Dark Souls enemies, when compared to other games, is about themselves demonstrating a degree of self-preservation. And so, what makes the Giant Enemy Crab funny is that this particular enemy often does something that monsters from other videogames tend to do: Stupidly expose its own vulnerable spot at random intervals, allowing the player to initiate a free critical hit to AttackItsWeakPoint ForMassiveDamage.

** Not only that, the creators seem to go out of their way to make skeleton enemies as characterful and silly as possible without making them {{JokeCharacter}}s, giving them overblown diving sword spin moves, bringing back the infamous wheel skeletons, and having a setpiece that consists of two skeletons in hats that psychically control a pair of ''rampaging clustered balls'' of the skinless bastards that roll up and down stairs on a set path trying to crush anything that gets too close.

* On April's Fool Day, Creator/NamcoBandai, [[NotSoAboveItAll of all sources]], announced a trailer of ''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fETc77XokxE Dark Souls III: The Movie]]'' for VHS release [[labelnote:*]]Complete with an old 90's retro feel to the video editing[[/labelnote]].

* In the Ringed City DLC, set after the player has returned the Lords to their throne, the apocalyptic landscape of the Dreg Heap is dotted with messages from Slave Knight Gael. Each one is set at the edge of a long, typically-lethal fall, encouraging the player to jump, as if in reference to [[Troll the many messages players have left throughout the series to trick others.]]

** Interestingly, the boots and gloves obviously come in pairs, and their descriptions reflect this by instead stating "As *their* new owner".

* A common player anecdote about the [[spoiler: Soul of Cinder]] is getting to the second phase, [[spoiler: hearing Gwyn's music]] and [[DamnYouMuscleMemory instinctively going for a parry]]. Cue [[SoLastSeason "You Died"]].

* In Irithyll of the Boreal Valley, if you go upstairs from Siegward's location, you'll find a Silver Knight staring intently at a picture on the wall. Get closer and you'll see it's an aged, faded painting of [[spoiler:[[MsFanservice Gwynevere.]]]] Even evil demonic knights need their cheesecake.

* As usual, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsITw4oBJv0 the physics engine is goddamn hilarious]].

* There is something just absurdly hilarious at how out of place the living skeletons are in the Catacombs of Carthus. While there are more interesting enemy variants, a good chunk of the enemies you will encounter there are literally just [[DemBones living, unarmored skeletons]]. In a game where a good chunk of RPG tropes are averted, subverted and played with, it's rather amusing to see such a significant one played so utterly straight.

--> Rubbish with no value. Who in their right mind would bother carrying this around? Perhaps you need help.

* In this game, some enemies, if hit by another enemy's attack, will get angry and attack the other enemy. Turns out that among these: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fyOIQtEpmE Mimics 'do not like' fire demons.]] Seeing a skinny, tongue-lolling, giggling ''Mimic'' of all things beat down a mini-boss is just hilarious.

* While the very fact that Patches was able to steal Siegward's armour and trap him in a well is funny in and of itself, it gets even funnier when you think about it: the well is fairly narrow and it's hard to imagine just how Patches got him down there. Then there's also the fact that he won't come out of the well until you give him his armour, which is odd considering he'd had more freedom of movement outside of his rather sizeable armour. Siegward could get out at any time, but he's naked. He just won't come out because he's 'embarrassed!' His dialogue even hints at this, as he's more concerned about the armour rather than the well. It's funny to picture that this knight who's brave enough to [[spoiler:fight a Lord of Cinder]] would be so bashful as to hide in a well rather than let anyone see him naked.

** Referencing a 19th-century invention in this fantasy-medieval world is just so hilariously out of place, you'd think it was a joke, 'until you actually find a Tome.'

-->''The wearer of this fine attire was admired by friends and enemies alike, [[DirtyCoward for his skills were unmatched]], [[ChronicBackstabbingDisorder and his heart was true as gold]]. As its new owner, you have quite the shoes to fill.''
** Interestingly, the boots and gloves obviously come in pairs, their descriptions reflect this by instead stating "As *their* new owner".

* In this game, some enemies, if hit by another enemy's attack, will get angry and attack the other enemy. Turns out that among these: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fyOIQtEpmE mimics do not like fire demons.]] Seeing a skinny, tongue-lolling, giggling ''mimic'' of all things beat down a mini-boss is just hilarious.
* More mimic-related mirth: [[http://i.imgur.com/dSpNqZK.gif this gif]] of a sunbro getting chased by a mimic has near-perfect comedic timing and is only missing the Benny Hill theme. [[https://gifsound.com/?gif=cloud-3.steamusercontent.com/ugc/280722393127494655/1C50165EE984471EF2B7C296B28E2C3A1CFB7EC5/&v=MK6TXMsvgQg Oh wait...]]

* This may sound like a [[NightmareFetishist weird example]] to some, but in Irithyll Dungeon, there are [[spoiler:corpses with items that [[JumpScare will scream a horrifying shriek]] when you grab them.]] The funny part is that [[spoiler:[[AntiClimax they do nothing]]. As in, their screams do not attract enemies, nor cause damage or even a debuff]]. You could argue that they were put in for ambiance, but by the [[spoiler:[[TrollingCreator fourth time this happens]]]], most people will be usually screaming "Are you serious?!"

* A minor Stance-related one is using the Dancer's Enchanted Swords special move. The Ashen One can pull off her [[ThatOneAttack spinning pirouette move]] until they run out of stamina, at which point they stop spinning and take a moment to wipe their brow. That's right, you can be hauling around the heaviest stuff in the game, but trying some fancy footwork is when the Ashen One gets tired.

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf3Wj_d-aOE How to deploy the Armor of Thorns to its deadliest effect: gather a group of fellows with the same armor, start a Kirk fan club, and destroy your foes by just rolling into them.]] It works on invaders, enemies, and ''bosses'' alike!

''[Invader turns around, sees three other guys wearing Knight of Thorns armor standing up and walking toward him.]''\\

* While the very fact that Patches was able to steal Siegward's armour and trap him in a well is funny in and of itself, it gets even funnier when you think about it: the well is fairly narrow and it's hard to imagine just how Patches got him down there. Then there's also the fact that he won't come out of the well until you give him his armour, which is odd considering he'd had more freedom of movement outside of his rather sizable armour. Siegward could get out at any time, but he's naked. He won't come out because he's embarrassed! His dialogue even hints at this, as he's more concerned about the armour rather than the well. It's funny to picture that this knight who's brave enough to [[spoiler:fight a Lord of Cinder]] would be so bashful as to hide in a well rather than let anyone see him naked.

** Referencing a 19th-century invention in this fantasy-medieval world is just so hilariously out of place, you'd think it was a joke, until you actually find a Tome.

* In Irythll, if you go upstairs from Siegward, you'll find a Silver Knight staring intently at a picture on the wall. Get closer and you'll see it's an aged, faded painting of [[spoiler:[[MsFanservice Gwynevere.]]]] Even evil demonic knights need their cheesecake.
** Even better, there's another Silver Knight with a Greatbow ready to spear you if you get too close to his compatriot staring at the Amazing Chest. So either he's making sure his buddy can properly appreciate the cheesecake with no interruptions, or [[CovertPervert he's watching him for other reasons.]]

* One of the enemy types the player encounters is the GiantEnemyCrab...its worth noting that the uniqueness of Dark Souls enemies when compared to other games is that they demonstrate self-preservation. And so what makes the Giant Enemy Crab funnier is that this particular enemy often does something that monsters from other videogames tend to do: Stupidly expose its own vulnerable spot at random intervals, allowing the player to initiate a free critical hit to AttackItsWeakPoint.

--> Rubbish with no value. Who in their right mind would bother carrying this around? Perhaps you need help.
* Fallen Knight Set carries a bit of Fridge Humour: its name can be interpreted as a set of armour, which belonged to a knight, who fell from somewhere above. A bit further from where you find that armour set you can get on a bridge, where Stray Demon mini-boss resides. This demon has a grabbing attack, where it throws you away after grabbing, which can result in you being hurled off the bridge to your doom. The funny part settles in once you connect the dots: the knight, whom the armour set used to belong to, challenged the Stray Demon, but was thrown off the bridge to his death. Leggins' description even says that they are [[BringMyBrownPants "stained with the misery of flight".]]

--> Rubbish with no value. Who in their right mind would bother carrying this around? Perhaps you need help.

* One of the enemy types the player encounters is the GiantEnemyCrab...its worth noting that the uniqueness of Dark Souls enemies when compared to other games is that they demonstrate self-preservation. And so what makes the Giant Enemy Crab funnier is that this particular enemy often does something that monsters from other videogames tend to do: Stupidly expose its own vulnerable spot at random intervals, allowing the player to initiate a free critical hit to AttackItsWeakPoint.

* One of the enemy types the player encounters is the GiantEnemyCrab...its worth noting that the uniqueness of Dark Souls enemies when compared to other games is that they demonstrate self-preservation. And so what makes the Giant Enemy Crab funnier is that this particular enemy often does something that monsters from other videogames tend to do: Stupidly expose its own vulnerable spot at random intervals, allowing the player to initiate a free critical hit to AttackItsWeakPoint ForMassiveDamage.