History Funny / CommandAndConquerRedAlert3

* When [[spoiler: President Ackerman]] betrays you in the Allied campaign, you are tasked with destroying a firebase at Mount Rushmore in order to preserve peace with the Soviets. The firebase is heavily defended, but its real teeth have to be seen to be believed; the defenders have ''[[WeaponizedLandmark weaponised the presidential busts]]''. George Washington gets EyeBeams!

-->[[spoiler:'''Bingham''': (''upon seeing Ackerman freaking out'') [[OhCrap Oh my God...What the bloody hell?!]]]]

-->'''Premier Cherdenko''': Commander! You've rained on my glorious parade! For this, I'm sending everything I got at you, but I won't let you have the satisfaction of catching me. I'm escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism... [[https://youtu.be/niZpcdp2v34 SPACE]]!

--> '''Emperor Yoshiro:''' Your intellect is as weak as your dollar. Failure is your destiny. You disrespect yourself and your nation. You are made of stupid.

--> '''Tanya:''' I'm good for a swim!
--> '''Tanya:''' Let's hit some waves!
--> '''Tanya:''' I'm part barracuda!

** The Hammer/[[spoiler: Apocalypse]] Tank is the comic relief, often getting shot by the Tsunami tank for saying stupid things. He even gets a glowup in the final mission by becoming an [[spoiler: Apocalypse Tank]]!

-->'''Tsunami Tank''': Now then, use the S.H.R.I.N.K. beam on my good friend the Soviet Hammer Tank.
-->'''Hammer Tank''': Wait, what? No, not me again!
-->'''The Hammer Tank will immediately begin driving around erratically until the S.H.R.I.N.K. ray is used on it.
-->'''Hammer Tank, now shrunken''': Aaaaaaaaaah I'm melting! (when you use the shrink ray on it)

--->'''Tsunami Tank''': Betrayed! After all we've been through!
--->'''Guardian Tank''': Oh, so that's how it is then?!
* Like in [[VideoGame/CommandAndConquerRedAlert2 Red Alert 2]], the role of slow, powerful Mammoth tank in ''[[VideoGame/CommandAndConquerTiberianSeries Tiberian series]]'' is filled by the Apocalpyse tank. For 2009's April Fools though, there's an actual [[https://cnc.fandom.com/wiki/Mammoth_tank_(Red_Alert_3) Mammoth Tank]], as in, [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin a mammoth with tank turret]].

*** You can use shrink ability on Tsunami Tank or Guardian Tank instead, you'll get their reactions for shrinking them!

-->'''Hammer Tank, now shrunken''': Aaaaaaaaaah I'm melting! (when you use the shrink ray on it)

--> '''Tanya:''' I'm part barracuda!

* The Soviet Hammer tank has the ability to leech weapons from destroyed enemy vehicles with it's Leech Beam. This doesn't seem funny at first, until you manage to leech weapon from [[HumongousMecha King Oni]] - precisely, this will place a mecha's EyeBeam shooting head on the left side of tank's turret. It gets more ridiculous when you leech weapon from an Aircraft Carrier, which gives your tanks a OneHitPointWonder attack drone. In ''Uprising'', one of the Soviet levels involves freeing prisoners from Allied internment camps, in the form of Hammer Tanks, which come with pre-installed weapons. One of them has a ''Future Tank cannon'', which is ludicrously oversized in comparison to the rest of it

* During the Santa Monica mission in the Rising Sun campaign, you can find the EA Games studio not far from your base. The tooltip mentions that [[CriticalExistenceFailure the space-time continuum could be irreparably damaged should it come to harm]]. Destroy it, and one of your soldiers declares that [[TakeThatUs their ill-begotten products shall taint the shelves no more]].

--> '''Emperor Yoshiro:''' Your intellect is as weak as your dollar. Failure is your destiny. You disrespect yourself and your nation. You are made of stupid.

* Most of the [=FutureTank's=] lines when they get damaged are standard robotic phrases, such as "Systems Damaged!" and "Under Attack!", but the last two are "Spare my life!" and "Do not hurt me!". In the same deep, reverbrating, mechanical voice that they speak the rest of their lines in.

* The sheer contrast between Oleg as an ally and as an enemy in Skirmish Mode is this, considering that he's easily the happiest to see you out of all the AI commanders, yet his lines as an enemy have him either issuing not so subtle threats or downright implying that he views defeating you as euthanizing you.

* The sheer contrast between Oleg as a friendly NPC and him as a hostile NPC can be this, considering that as an ally he's easily the friendliest out of all of them, as the rest are either chummy, professional, and courteous, or simply display confidence that you'll win, but Oleg is literally overjoyed to see you, but as an enemy, everything that comes out of his mouth is highly ominous or a barely concealed threat to kill.

* The [=FutureTank's=] lines when damaged are standard mechanical noises, but the last two are "Spare my life!" and "Do not hurt me!". In the same deep, reverbrating, mechanical voice that they speak the rest of their lines in.

* The sheer contrast between Oleg as a friendly NPC and him as a hostile NPC can be this, considering that as an ally he's easily the friendliest out of all of them as the rest are somewhat chummy or professional and courteous, but Oleg is overjoyed to see you, but as an enemy, everything that comes out of his mouth is highly ominous or a barely concealed threat to kill.

* The sheer contrast between Oleg as a friendly NPC and him as a hostile NPC can be this, considering that as an ally he's easily the friendliest out of all of them as the rest are somewhat chummy or professional and courteous, but Oleg's just happy too see you, but as an enemy, everything that comes out of his mouth is highly ominous or a barely concealed threat to kill.

* The

* Soviet Hammer tank has an ability to leech weapons from destroyed enemy vehicles. This doesn't seem funny at first, until you manage to leech weapon from [[HumongousMecha King Oni]] - precisely, this will place a mecha's EyeBeam shooting head on the left side of tank's turret. It gets more ridiculous when you leech weapon from Allied Carrier, which gives your tanks OneHitPointWonder attack drone. In ''Uprising'', one of the Soviet levels involves freeing prisoners from Allied internment camps, in the form of Hammer Tanks, which come with pre-installed weapons. One of them has a ''Future Tank turret''!

-->'''Premier Cherdenko''': Commander! You've rained on my glorious parade! For this, I'm sending everything I got at you, but I won't let you have the satisfaction of catching me. I'm escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism... [[https://youtu.be/niZpcdp2v34 SPACE]]!

--> '''Allied soldier:''' But I visited your memorial!!''

* From the Conscript. "As a child [[UnusualEuphemism I always dreamed of torpedo attack on dolphin]]!" Even funnier because [[LiteralMetaphor that can literally happen]].

--> '''Krukov''': "You see Commander, while you were hiding behind the barricades of Leningrad, our enemy was [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar thrusting deeply into the]] [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Motherland's tender nether-regions]]."

* Soviet Hammer tank has an ability to leech weapons from destroyed enemy vehicles. This doesn't seem funny at first, until you manage to leech weapon from [[HumongousMecha King Oni]] - precisely, this will place a mecha's EyeBeam shooting head on the left side of tank's turret. It gets more ridiculous when you leech weapon from Allied Carrier, which gives your tanks OneHitPointWonder attack drone.

* There were Valentines Day videos of the females from the game. [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NywuNTfRijo Takara's]] is funny and gives an ideas of what to expect, then we get one from one of the actors in the game, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtstnKx4Vdg Ric]] [[Wrestling/RicFlair Flair.]]

** Bonus points for the AsideGlance [[MissionControl Dasha]] [[MsFanservice Fedorovich]] gives as he says it. Imagine how many takes Andrew Divoff and Ivana Milicevic had to do to get ''that'' one straight.

* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18286bu_PYw The bloopers]], notably the problems with the word ''Man-cannon'', JK Simmons even comments on the absurdity of the concept. "Really?" (eyebrows up).

-->'''Premier Cherdenko''': Commander! You've rained on my glorious parade! For this, I'm sending everything I got at you, but I won't let you have the satisfaction of catching me. I'm escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism... [[https://youtu.be/3yMy7JuGpJM SPACE]]!

-->'''Premier Cherdenko''': Commander! You've rained on my glorious parade! For this, I'm sending everything I got at you, but I won't let you have the satisfaction of catching me. I'm escaping to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism... SPACE!

--> '''Conscript:''' How did the Allies get an aircraft carrier into lake? [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It would take many men and hours to carry it!]][[note]] RealityIsUnrealistic: The US Navy fielded two aircraft carriers, USS ''Wolverine'' and USS ''Sable'', on the Great Lakes during UsefulNotes/WorldWarII. They were modified Great Lakes steamships and were too small and slow to serve as operational carriers, but did fine for training pilots.[[/note]]

* There were Valentines Day videos of the females from the game. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NywuNTfRijo Takara's]] is funny and gives an ideas of what to expect, then we get one from one of the actors in the game, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtstnKx4Vdg Ric]] [[RicFlair Flair.]]