History Funny / CommandAndConquerRedAlert3

** Bonus points for the AsideGlance [[MissionControl Dasha]] [[MsFanservice Fedorovich]] gives as he says it.

--> '''Krukov''': "You see Commander, while you were hiding behind the barricades of Leningrad, [[FreudWasRight our enemy was]] [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar thrusting deeply into the]] [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Motherland's tender nether-regions]]."

* Soviet Hammer tank has an ability to leech weapons from destroyed enemy vehicles. This doesn't seem funny at first, until you manage to leech weapon from [[HumongousMecha King Oni]] - precisely, this will place a mecha's EyeBeam shooting head on the left side of tank's turret. It gets more ridiculous when you leech weapon from Allied Carrier, which gives your tanks OneHitPointWonder attack drone.

--> '''Conscript:''' How did the Allies get an aircraft carrier into lake? [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It would take many men and hours to carry it!]][[note]] RealityIsUnrealistic: The US Navy fielded two aircraft carriers, USS ''Wolverine'' and USS ''Sable'', on the Great Lakes during WorldWarII. They were modified Great Lakes steamships and were too small and slow to serve as operational carriers, but did fine for training pilots.[[/note]]

* The Soviets get two faction powers that have a somewhat hilarious correlation. The Magnetic Satellite power uses a giant space magnet to suck vehicles into space. The Orbital Drop power takes random space debris and throws it at the targeted area. Said space debris includes satellites, bits of rock and ''the vehicles you suck up with the Magnetic Satellite''. Nothing quite beats levelling an enemy tank column by throwing ''their previous tank column'' at it from space.

* Allied Advisor: "Flirting? I was just... making conversation!"

* When [[spoiler: President Ackerman is revealed to be a robot expy in the Japanese campaign, his controls are destroyed in anger when they learn that there is no "divine order", causing Ackerman to spaz out, full with smoke pouring out of his ears. J.K. Simmons losing his shit is a sight to behold.]]

--> '''Conscript:''' How did the Allies get an aircraft carrier into lake? [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It would take many men and hours to carry it!]][[note: RealityIsUnrealistic: The US Navy fielded two aircraft carriers, USS ''Wolverine'' and USS ''Sable'', on the Great Lakes during WorldWarII. They were modified Great Lakes steamships and were too small and slow to serve as operational carriers, but did fine for training pilots.]]

--> '''Conscript:''' How did the Allies get an aircraft carrier into lake? [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It would take many men and hours to carry it!]]

* The spy briefly showing his JamesBond-esque lecherous nature at the beginning of the mission where he has to collaborate with Tanya

* During the Santa Monica mission in the Rising Sun campaign, you can find the EA Games studio not far from your base. The tooltip mentions that [[TimeTravelParadox the space-time continuum could be irreparably damaged should it come to harm]]. Destroy it, and one of your soldiers declares that [[TakeThatUs their ill-begotten products shall no longer take the shelves]].

--> '''Allied soldier:''' Washington! ''No!''
--> '''Allied soldier:''' ''Why,'' Jefferson, ''WHY?!''

--> '''Conscript:''' How did the Allies get an aircraft carrier into lake? [[ComicallyMissingThePoint It would take many men and hours to carry!]]

* From the Conscript. "Ever since I was little boy [[UnusualEuphemism I wanted to torpedo dolphin with sub]]!" Even funnier because [[LiteralMetaphor that can literally happen]].

* During the Santa Monica mission in the Rising Sun campaign, you can find the EA Games studio not far from your base. The tooltip mentions that the space-time continuum could be irreparably damaged should it come to harm. Destroy it, and one of your soldiers declares that their ill-begotten products shall no longer take the shelves.

** Bonus points for the expression on the face of [[MissionControl Dasha]] [[MsFanservice Fedorovich]] as he says it.

* The spy briefly showing his bond-esque lecherous nature at the beginning of the mission where he has to collaborate with Tanya

* From the Conscript. "Ever since I was little boy [[UnusualEuphemism I wanted to torpedo dolphin with sub]]!" Even funnier because that can literally happen.

* The entire cinematic where the Emperor's son warns him about an impending treaty-breaking surprise attack on... Pearl Harbor. The Emperor immediately says the islands are filled with historical monuments and half the Japanese fleet is stationed there, there's no way the Allies would be dumb enough to try that. The scene's played completely seriously (since WWII never happened in this timeline) but the player will likely be laughing aloud.

* [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18286bu_PYw The bloopers]], notably the problems with the word ''Man-cannon'', JK Simmons even comments on the absurdity of the concept. "Really?" (eyebrows up).

* The spy briefly showing his bondesque lecherous nature at the beginning of the mission where he has to colaborate with Tanya

* The enemy Commanders in Uprising's "Commander's Challenge" are all a riot, but this little "bonus video" (after beating all the main missions and bonus missions) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X8NvkFIj2U certainly takes the cake]], combining all the best [[BigWhat "WHAT?"s]], [[ThisCannotBe "This Cannot Be!"s]], and even a [[PrecisionFStrike Precision S Strike]] at the end... [[SoundEffectBleep sorta...]]

* The enemy Commanders in Uprising's "Commander's Challenge" are all a riot, but this little "bonus video" (after beating all the main missions and bonus missions) [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X8NvkFIj2U certainly takes the cake]], combining all the best [[BigWhat "WHAT?"s]], [[ThisIsInconcievable This Is Inconcievables]], and even a [[PrecisionFStrike Precision S Strike]] at the end... [[SoundEffectBleep sorta...]]

--> '''Engineer:''' ''Put money in bag''. I will not ask second time.

* When [[spoiler: President Ackerman]] betrays you in the Allied campaign, you are tasked with destroying a firebase at Mount Rushmore in order to preserve peace with the Soviets. The firebase is heavily defended, but its real teeth have to be seen to be believed; the defenders have ''weaponised the presidential busts''. George Washington gets EyeBeams!

** Bonus points for the expression on the face of [[MissionControl Dasha]] [[MsFanservice Fedorovich]] as he says it.

--> '''Krukov''': ''"You see Commander, while you were hiding the barricades of Leningrad, [[FreudWasRight our enemy was]] [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar thrusting deeply into the]] [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Motherland's tender nether-regions]]."''

--> '''Allied soldier:''' Washington! ''No!''

* During the Santa Monica mission in the Rising Sun campaign, you can find the EA Games studio not far from your base. The tooltip mentions that the space-time continuum could be irreparably damaged should it come to harm. Destroy it, and one of your soldiers declares that their foul products shall no longer take the shelves.

* Speaking of Flair, marketing for Uprising included videos, videos that consisted of wrestling style promos where he would be attacked by someone in a bear suit, complete with Russian hat and evil glowing red eyes.

* There were Valentines Day videos of the females from the game. [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NywuNTfRijo Takara's]] is funny and gives an ideas of what to expect, then we get one from one of the actors in the game, [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtstnKx4Vdg Ric]] [[RicFlair Flair.]