History Funny / Casablanca

* The non-stop argument between Lt. Casselle, Renault's aide (speaking French)[[note]]played by George Dee[[/note]] and Capt. Tonelli of the Italian Service (speaking Italian)[[note]]played by Charles La Torre[[/note]].

* Even Laszlo gets one, when he's talking to Berger, the Danish underground resistance worker[[note]]played by John Qualen[[/note]].

'''Sam:''' [[DeadpanSnarker You ever going to bed?]]\\

* When the guy established as a pickpocket bumps into Karl, he's seen frantically checking his pockets moments later.

'''Rick''': [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar Oh, he is? Captain Renault is getting broad-minded.]]

** "I'm shocked--''shocked''--to find that ''gambling's'' going on in here!" [[HypocriticalHumor "Your winnings, sir." "Oh, thank you very much."]]

--> '''Jan Brandel:''' Captain Renault... may I?
--> '''Captain Renault:''' Oh no! Not here please! Come to my office tomorrow morning. We'll do everything businesslike.
--> '''Jan Brandel:''' We'll be there at six!
--> '''Captain Renault:''' [[LazyBum I'll be there at ten]].

--> '''Major Strasser:''' My impression was that he's just another blundering American.
--> '''Louis:''' Oh, we mustn't underestimate American blundering--[[InsultBackfire I was with them when they blundered into Berlin in 1918.]] ''('''Burn!''')''

** "Major Strasser has been shot. [{{Beat}}] Round up The Usual Suspects."

--> '''Sasha:''' ''(Excitedly)'' Yes, boss!
--> '''Rick:''' And ''come right back''!
--> '''Sasha:''' ''(Slumps)'' Yes, boss....

-->'''Husband:''' ''Liebchen''-- er, sweetnessheart... what watch?
-->'''Wife:''' (''checks time'') Ten watch.
-->'''Husband:''' Such much?

--> '''Sam:''' Boss...? Boss?
--> '''Rick:''' Yeah.
--> '''Sam:''' Boss, ain't you going to bed?
--> '''Rick:''' Not right now.
--> '''Sam:''' Ain't you planning on going to bed in the near future?
--> '''Rick:''' ''No.''
--> '''Sam:''' [[DeadpanSnarker You ever going to bed?]]
--> '''Rick:''' '''''No!'''''
--> '''Sam:''' ''(Shrugs)'' Well, I ain't sleepy either.

** "How extravagant you are, throwing away women like that. Someday they may be scarce."

** When Strasser orders Louis to close down the cafe after the La Marseilles scene, Louis's initial response is "But everyone's having such a good time."

** Also note: This film is in black and white. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall You really might not know what color Rick's eyes were except for that line.]]

-->'''Husband:''' "''Liebchen''-- er, sweetnessheart... what watch?"
-->'''Wife:''' (''checks time'') "Ten watch."
-->'''Husband:''' "Such much?"

* The reactions of [[TheCasanova Sasha]], Rick's russian employee when Rick assigns him the job of taking the sexy French patron Yvonne home:

** When Strasser orders Louis to close down the cafe after the La Marseilles scene, Louis's response is a disinterested "But everyone's having such a good time."

** "I'm shocked--''shocked''--to find that ''gambling's'' going on in here!" [[HypocriticalHumor "Your winnings, sir." "Ah, thank you very much."]]

* The employees insisting that the roulette game is honest. [[ImplausibleDeniability After Rick had just BLATENTLY given the spinner instructions.]] Given the context, it's also pretty heartwarming.

** "I'm shocked, ''shocked,'' that there's gambling going on in here!" [[HypocriticalHumor "Your winnings, sir." "Ah, thank you very much."]]