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*Upon hearing the press conference from the elementary school principal and the reporter mentions that the 27-year old Billy bribed and cheated his way to passing through to middle school:
-->'''Billy's friend Frank, played by Norm Macdonald''': "Now hold on, maybe it's somebody else."
-->'''Billy's friend Frank, played by Norm Macdonald''': "Now hold on, maybe it's somebody else."
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** Made funnier with a lingering shot on the bus driver turning increasingly red and tear-eyed.
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Changed line(s) 36 (click to see context) from:
* "Boy, I'm glad I called THAT guy."
to:
* "Boy, "Man, [[BrickJoke I'm glad I called THAT guy.guy]]."
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Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
* The ending where ''everyone'', even the periphery characters like the disgusting lunch lady, the bus driver, and the not so imaginary penguin all start kissing each other.
to:
* The ending where ''everyone'', even the periphery characters like the disgusting lunch lady, the bus driver, and the not so imaginary penguin [[PairTheSpares all start kissing each other.other]].
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* The entirety of the BigLippedAlligatorMoment song in the middle of the movie qualifies. Particular moments include the obvious dubbing of Sandler's voice, Veronica randomly dressing as a German fraulein and talking about her "nice rack," the song ending with everyone asking one another if they "HAVE ANY MORE GUM MORE GUM MORE GUM," and [[BrickJoke the clown on stilts who fell over several scenes ago]] suddenly reappearing, getting up off the ground, and cheerfully singing [[BreakingTheFourthWall directly to the audience]]:
-->'''Clown''': Hey, kids, it's me! I betcha thought that I was dead! But when I fell over, I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head!
-->'''Clown''': Hey, kids, it's me! I betcha thought that I was dead! But when I fell over, I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head!
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Changed line(s) 32 (click to see context) from:
* "If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis."
to:
** "If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis."
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Changed line(s) 17,18 (click to see context) from:
-->''[Threatening]'' O'Doyle, O'Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family is goin' down ... ''[Cheerfully]'' but right now, I gotta study!
* "BILLY PASSED THE THIRD GRADE! OH WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY-AY! OH, PASSED THE THIRD GRADE! THE BILLY MADISON WAY-AY!"
* "BILLY PASSED THE THIRD GRADE! OH WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY-AY! OH, PASSED THE THIRD GRADE! THE BILLY MADISON WAY-AY!"
to:
-->''[Threatening]'' O'Doyle, O'Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family is goin' down ... ''[Cheerfully]'' but right now, I gotta study!
* "BILLY PASSED THE THIRD GRADE! OH WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY-AY! OH,PASSED PASSING THE THIRD GRADE! GRADE, THE BILLY MADISON WAY-AY!"
* "BILLY PASSED THE THIRD GRADE! OH WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY-AY! OH,
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Changed line(s) 20,23 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Kid:''' I dare you to throw your lunch at the bus driver.
(Other kid throws lunch at the bus driver)
-->'''Bus Driver:''' (yelling back at the kids) '''''HEEY!'''''
(Swerves through traffic before regaining control as children giggle)
(Other kid throws lunch at the bus driver)
-->'''Bus Driver:''' (yelling back at the kids) '''''HEEY!'''''
(Swerves through traffic before regaining control as children giggle)
to:
-->'''Kid:''' I dare you to throw your lunch at the bus driver.
driver. (Other kid throws lunch at the bus driver)
-->'''Bus Driver:''' (yelling back at the kids)'''''HEEY!'''''
'''''HEEY!''''' (Swerves through traffic before regaining control as children giggle)
-->'''Bus Driver:''' (yelling back at the kids)
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* How much the bus driver gets ticked off by a sandwich to the head.
-->'''Kid:''' I dare you to throw your lunch at the bus driver.
(Other kid throws lunch at the bus driver)
-->'''Bus Driver:''' (yelling back at the kids) '''''HEEY!'''''
(Swerves through traffic before regaining control as children giggle)
-->'''Veronica:''' Who threw that?
-->'''Bus Driver:''' I'll turn this ''damn'' bus around! That'll end your ''precious'' little field trip pretty ''damn quick'', won't it? Little ''shit''!
-->'''Kid:''' I dare you to throw your lunch at the bus driver.
(Other kid throws lunch at the bus driver)
-->'''Bus Driver:''' (yelling back at the kids) '''''HEEY!'''''
(Swerves through traffic before regaining control as children giggle)
-->'''Veronica:''' Who threw that?
-->'''Bus Driver:''' I'll turn this ''damn'' bus around! That'll end your ''precious'' little field trip pretty ''damn quick'', won't it? Little ''shit''!
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Changed line(s) 20 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Bus Driver:''' That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience, dude. You know what I mean?
to:
-->'''Bus Driver:''' That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace.''aysh''. I know from experience, dude. You know what I mean?
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* Billy visits his 3rd grade friends after getting bullied at high school. When one chubby kid says he can't wait for high school, Billy says this:
--> Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. (Grabs kid by the face and shakes him violently) For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.
--> Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that. Stay here. Stay here as long as you can. (Grabs kid by the face and shakes him violently) For the love of God, cherish it. You have to cherish it.
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Changed line(s) 2 (click to see context) from:
-->"Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
to:
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* "If peeing your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis."
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* Billy's reaction to a classmate having peed his pants, a loud-as-possible "'''GOO!!!'''"
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Changed line(s) 18 (click to see context) from:
* "BILLY PASSED THE FIRST GRADE! OH WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY-AY! ALL PAST THE FIRST GRADE! THE BILLY MADISON WAY-AY!"
to:
* "BILLY PASSED THE FIRST THIRD GRADE! OH WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY-AY! ALL PAST OH, PASSED THE FIRST THIRD GRADE! THE BILLY MADISON WAY-AY!"
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Changed line(s) 22 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Bus Driver:''' No, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Got. It. On]] WOO-WEE! (''laughing'')
to:
-->'''Bus Driver:''' No, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Got. It. On]] On.]] WOO-WEE! (''laughing'')
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* The bus driver played by Creator/ChrisFarley going on about how hot Veronica Vaughn is. Creator/AdamSandler is visibly struggling to not laugh.
-->'''Bus Driver:''' That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience, dude. You know what I mean?
-->'''Billy:''' No, you don't...
-->'''Bus Driver:''' No, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Got. It. On]] WOO-WEE! (''laughing'')
-->'''Billy:''' No, they didn't.
-->'''Bus Driver:''' No, no they didn't. But you can imagine what it'd be like if they did, right? (''nudging'') Huh, huh?
-->(''Billy pats his shoulder and boards the bus'')
-->'''Bus Driver:''' That Veronica Vaughn is one piece of ace. I know from experience, dude. You know what I mean?
-->'''Billy:''' No, you don't...
-->'''Bus Driver:''' No, not me personally, but a guy I know, him and her [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Got. It. On]] WOO-WEE! (''laughing'')
-->'''Billy:''' No, they didn't.
-->'''Bus Driver:''' No, no they didn't. But you can imagine what it'd be like if they did, right? (''nudging'') Huh, huh?
-->(''Billy pats his shoulder and boards the bus'')
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* "BILLY PASSED THE FIRST GRADE! OH WHAT A GLORIOUS DAY-AY! ALL PAST THE FIRST GRADE! THE BILLY MADISON WAY-AY!"
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* Billy's confrontation with the older O'Doyle kid:
-->''[Threatening]'' O'Doyle, O'Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family is goin' down ... ''[Cheerfully]'' but right now, I gotta study!
-->''[Threatening]'' O'Doyle, O'Doyle, I got a feeling your whole family is goin' down ... ''[Cheerfully]'' but right now, I gotta study!
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Changed line(s) 15 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Billy:''' Now you're all in really big trouble.
to:
-->'''Billy:''' Now you're all in really big, big trouble.
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Changed line(s) 5 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Billy''' ''(after Ms. Lippy finishes the story)'': Whoa whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy. The only part of the story ''I'' didn't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after only an ''hour''. He didn't put up posters or anything. He just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's got to ''think''; you've got a pet. You've got a responsibility. When your puppy is lost, you don't just look for an hour and then call it quits. You get your ass out there and you find that fucking dog!\\
to:
-->'''Billy''' ''(after Ms. Lippy finishes the story)'': Whoa whoa whoa, Ms. Lippy. The only part of the story ''I'' didn't like is that the little boy gave up looking for Happy after only an ''hour''. He didn't put up posters or anything. He just sat on the porch like a goon and waited. That little boy's got to ''think''; you've got a pet. You've got a responsibility. When your puppy is lost, you don't just look for an hour and then call it quits. You get your ass out there and [[PrecisionFStrike you find that fucking dog!\\dog!]]\\
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Billy:''' ...okay, a simple "wrong" would've done just fine...
to:
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* The dodgeball scene.
-->'''Billy:''' Now you're all in really big trouble.
-->'''Billy:''' Now you're all in really big trouble.
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Billy:''' ...a simple "wrong" would've sufficed.
to:
-->'''Billy:''' ...okay, a simple "wrong" would've sufficed.done just fine...
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Billy:''' Hey! Rizzuto isn't a word, he's a baseball player! You're cheating!
to:
-->'''Billy:''' Hey! That's not fair; Rizzuto isn't a word, he's a baseball player! You're cheating!cheating!
** And then:
-->'''Billy:''' <sulking> I hate cursive and I hate all of you! I'm never coming back to school, NEVER!! <runs>
** And then:
-->'''Billy:''' <sulking> I hate cursive and I hate all of you! I'm never coming back to school, NEVER!! <runs>
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Billy:''' ...a simple "no" would've sufficed.
to:
-->'''Billy:''' ...a simple "no" "wrong" would've sufficed.
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** All while the kids are sleeping.
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-->'''Billy:''' Hey! Rizzuto isn't a word, he's a baseball player! You're cheating!
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Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
* The ending where ''everyone'', even the periphery characters like the disgusting lunch lady, the bus driver, the the not so imaginary penguin all start kissing each other.
to:
* The ending where ''everyone'', even the periphery characters like the disgusting lunch lady, the bus driver, the and the not so imaginary penguin all start kissing each other.
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* The ending where ''everyone'', even the periphery characters like the disgusting lunch lady, the bus driver, the the not so imaginary penguin all start kissing each other.
