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--->'''Pancrinea:''' But you saved me.
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** Then recall that [[spoiler: Caterina]] had ''just'' admitted to Ezio that the only reason she slept with him the night before the Siege of Monteriggioni was to [[IDidWhatIHadToDo ''really'' make sure]] that he'd lend her some of his mercenaries in [[TheWomanWearingTheQueenlyMask defending Forlì against the Borgia]]. Sure, he'd answered, "Politics, I understand. You not need explain," but...
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** Then recall that [[spoiler: Caterina]] had ''just'' admitted to Ezio that the only reason she slept with him the night before the Siege of Monteriggioni was to [[IDidWhatIHadToDo ''really'' make sure]] that he'd lend her some of his mercenaries in [[TheWomanWearingTheQueenlyMask defending Forlì against the Borgia]].Borgia. Sure, he'd answered, "Politics, I understand. You not need explain," but...
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** Guards sometimes claim to suffer Thanatosphobia if Ezio is winning a fight.
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** Guards sometimes claim to suffer Thanatosphobia Thanatophobia if Ezio is winning a fight.
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Removing ROCEJ sinkhole.
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*** [[Administrivia/RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement Depending on your opinions]] of [[UsefulNotes/TheEuropeanUnion Brexit]], that line may be either [[HarsherInHindsight Harsher]] or HilariousInHindsight.
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*** [[Administrivia/RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement Depending on your opinions]] opinions of [[UsefulNotes/TheEuropeanUnion Brexit]], that line may be either [[HarsherInHindsight Harsher]] or HilariousInHindsight.
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Changed line(s) 134 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Shaun''': ...were raised by the She-Wolf. Which, incidentally, is the nickname for my girlfriend in the Hastings household. Don't ask.
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-->'''Shaun''': ...were raised by the She-Wolf. Which, incidentally, is the nickname for name we gave to my girlfriend ex in the Hastings household. Don't ask.
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Changed line(s) 190 (click to see context) from:
** Second, as soon as Ezio actually sees the Tank, he is incredibly annoyed with Leonardo for giving him no instructions on how to actually use it.
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** Second, as soon as Ezio actually sees the Tank, he is he’s incredibly annoyed with Leonardo for giving him no instructions on how to actually use it.
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--->'''Bartolomeo''': You steal a man's wife and hide inside a fortress?! Nothing hangs between your thighs! In fact, there is a hole there so deep it reaches INTO THE ''MALEDETTO INFERNO''! [[note]]Fucking underworld![[/note]]
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--->'''Bartolomeo''': You steal a man's wife and hide inside a fortress?! Nothing hangs between your thighs! In fact, there is a hole there so deep ''deep'' it reaches INTO THE ''MALEDETTO INFERNO''! '''''MALEDETTO INFERNO'''''! [[note]]Fucking underworld![[/note]]hell![[/note]]
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* During a Templar Agent side mission where you have to take down Gaspar de la Croix (aka the Engineer in multi-player), Ezio says it should be relatively easy to overwhelm a single gunman right before a bullet whizzes directly by his head. His shocked reaction sells it: "''Merda..."''[[note]]Shit...[[/note]]
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* During a Templar Agent side mission where you have to take down Gaspar de la Croix (aka the Engineer in multi-player), Ezio says it should be relatively easy to overwhelm a single gunman right before a bullet whizzes directly by his head. His shocked reaction sells it: "''Merda..."''[[note]]Shit...[[/note]]!"''[[note]]Shit[[/note]]
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[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/eziowooscristina.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:''"...What."'']]
[[caption-width-right:350:''"...What."'']]
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[[caption-width-right:350:''"...What."'']]
%%Image removed via crowner in the Moments Images Cleanup Thread: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/crowner.php?crowner_id=dxlrvbsu
%%https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=1642193091068711500
%%Please do not add a new image without going through the Image Suggestion thread or starting a new Image Pickin' thread
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[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/eziowooscristina.png]]
[[caption-width-right:350:''"...What."'']]
[[caption-width-right:350:''"...What."'']]
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Changed line(s) 184,185 (click to see context) from:
** Second, as soon as Ezio actually sees the Tank, he is incredibly annoyed that Leonardo for presumably giving him no instructions on how to actually use it.
** Lastly, as soon as the mission is over, Ezio actually had fun using it and is sadden to have to destroy it, wishing he could keep it.
** Lastly, as soon as the mission is over, Ezio actually had fun using it and is sadden to have to destroy it, wishing he could keep it.
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** Second, as soon as Ezio actually sees the Tank, he is incredibly annoyed that with Leonardo for presumably giving him no instructions on how to actually use it.
** Lastly, as soon as the mission is over, Ezio actually had fun using it and is saddento have at having to destroy it, wishing he could keep it.
** Lastly, as soon as the mission is over, Ezio actually had fun using it and is sadden
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* The "Hell on Wheels" mission, your task in destroying the Tank, has a couple.
** First is a minor one, when Ezio opens the second gate to the secret passage to the tank, one of the two Mercenaries who are helping you mocks Ezio for taking his time.
---> '''Mercenary''': There you are. Finally!
---> '''Ezio''': Don't test me.
** Second, as soon as Ezio actually sees the Tank, he is incredibly annoyed that Leonardo for presumably giving him no instructions on how to actually use it.
** Lastly, as soon as the mission is over, Ezio actually had fun using it and is sadden to have to destroy it, wishing he could keep it.
** First is a minor one, when Ezio opens the second gate to the secret passage to the tank, one of the two Mercenaries who are helping you mocks Ezio for taking his time.
---> '''Mercenary''': There you are. Finally!
---> '''Ezio''': Don't test me.
** Second, as soon as Ezio actually sees the Tank, he is incredibly annoyed that Leonardo for presumably giving him no instructions on how to actually use it.
** Lastly, as soon as the mission is over, Ezio actually had fun using it and is sadden to have to destroy it, wishing he could keep it.
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*** The fact that Ezio claims to be from Montreal is funny enough, considering the whole franchise was started up by Ubisoft Montreal. It gets even funnier when you learn that ''there really'' '''''is''''' ''a Montreal in France!''
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Changed line(s) 60 (click to see context) from:
** Ezio can speak french. When asked why, he says that there were "a few french girls in Florentia".
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** Ezio can speak french. When asked why, he says that there were "a few french couple of French girls in Florentia".Firenze".
Changed line(s) 62 (click to see context) from:
---->'''Guard:''' Where are you from?!
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---->'''Guard:''' Where What part of France are you from?!
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misuse
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---> '''Shaun:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Because from a distance they looked like hares.]]
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---> '''Shaun:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Because from a distance they looked like hares.]]
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*The Bomber mission has a section where you get to open an actual trapdoor out from under four guards, dropping them down a tower. Who decided to put a large trapdoor on the top of a very tall tower, and why did the guards decide it was a good idea to stand there with their backs to the lever?
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-->'''Lucy''': I pulled the last one. \\
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-->'''Doctor:''' When was the last time you saw a physician, or felt the gentle caress of a leech?
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---> '''[[spoiler: Catarina]]''': ''Don't you '''dare'''!''
---> '''Ezio''': ''*drops her* ({{Beat}}) Hehe...''
---> '''Ezio''': ''*drops her* ({{Beat}}) Hehe...''
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--> '''Everyone else is dead'''
--> '''Terrified Guard''': You know, I always thought you were a, uh kind and, um, noble... *Flees*
--> '''Terrified Guard''': You know, I always thought you were a, uh kind and, um, noble... *Flees*
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Changed line(s) 115 (click to see context) from:
** Later, Machiavelli makes a joke to La Vlope about the interrupted play, "Christo Cristo was revived three days early".
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** Later, Machiavelli makes a joke to La Vlope about the interrupted play, "Christo "It seems Gesù Cristo was revived resurrected three days early".
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*** [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement Depending on your opinions]] of [[UsefulNotes/TheEuropeanUnion Brexit]], that line may be either [[HarsherInHindsight Harsher]] or HilariousInHindsight.
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*** [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement [[Administrivia/RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement Depending on your opinions]] of [[UsefulNotes/TheEuropeanUnion Brexit]], that line may be either [[HarsherInHindsight Harsher]] or HilariousInHindsight.
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Changed line(s) 169 (click to see context) from:
* Charged attacks with Heavy Weapons. Headshotting a guard on a tower above you with a thrown Scottish claymore is both this and a CrowningMomentOfAwesome.
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* Charged attacks with Heavy Weapons. Headshotting a guard on a tower above you with a thrown Scottish claymore is both this and a CrowningMomentOfAwesome.SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome.
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** Or this one:
---> '''Doctor:''' If anyone is down with malaria, I got fresh mosquitos!
---> '''Doctor:''' If anyone is down with malaria, I got fresh mosquitos!
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---->{{Break}}
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Changed line(s) 64,65 (click to see context) from:
---->[[{{Break}}]]
---->'''Guard:''' Open hhe gates!
---->'''Guard:''' Open hhe gates!
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---->'''Guard:''' Open
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** When the mission is over, we get this gem:
--->'''Bartolomeo:''' (to his wife) I was lost without you!
--->'''Pancrinea:''' But you saved me.
--->'''Bartolomeo:''' It was all Ezio's brilliant idea!
--->'''Ezio:''' No, it was your husbands idea.
--->'''Bartolomeo:''' (confused) It was?
** Ezio can speak french. When asked why, he says that there were "a few french girls in Florentia".
*** His accent shows, making the guard suspicious enough for this:
---->'''Guard:''' Where are you from?!
---->'''Ezio:''' Montreal!
---->[[{{Break}}]]
---->'''Guard:''' Open hhe gates!
--->'''Bartolomeo:''' (to his wife) I was lost without you!
--->'''Pancrinea:''' But you saved me.
--->'''Bartolomeo:''' It was all Ezio's brilliant idea!
--->'''Ezio:''' No, it was your husbands idea.
--->'''Bartolomeo:''' (confused) It was?
** Ezio can speak french. When asked why, he says that there were "a few french girls in Florentia".
*** His accent shows, making the guard suspicious enough for this:
---->'''Guard:''' Where are you from?!
---->'''Ezio:''' Montreal!
---->[[{{Break}}]]
---->'''Guard:''' Open hhe gates!
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Changed line(s) 34,35 (click to see context) from:
--> '''Shaun:''' Found this riddle in my research and can't crack it. Any ideas? I think it might be the key to the location of another piece of Eden: "Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?"
--> '''Rebecca:''' (after ''five'' mails) What's the answer?????
--> '''Rebecca:''' (after ''five'' mails) What's the answer?????
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--> '''Rebecca:''' ...
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** At one point Shaun decides to prank Rebecca hard:
--> '''Shaun:''' Found this riddle in my research and can't crack it. Any ideas? I think it might be the key to the location of another piece of Eden: "Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?"
--> '''Rebecca:''' (after ''five'' mails) What's the answer?????
---> '''Shaun:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Because from a distance they looked like hares.]]
--> '''Rebecca:''' ...
--> '''Shaun:''' Found this riddle in my research and can't crack it. Any ideas? I think it might be the key to the location of another piece of Eden: "Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?"
--> '''Rebecca:''' (after ''five'' mails) What's the answer?????
---> '''Shaun:''' [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Because from a distance they looked like hares.]]
--> '''Rebecca:''' ...
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-->'''Shaun''':That's the problem with gothics these days. Too much makeup, too little pillage.
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--->'''Ezio''': ''Oh. Um...Because I...wanted to ask you something. Which is...what's your name? ''
--->'''Cristina''': ''[[BrutalHonesty Not one you'll ever make use of.]]''
--->'''Cristina''': ''[[BrutalHonesty Not one you'll ever make use of.]]''
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** It may not cure gout, but you'll stop caring!
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* These little gems when frerunning:
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* These little gems when frerunning:freerunning:
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*** [[RuleOfCautiousEditingJudgement Depending on your opinions]] of [[UsefulNotes/TheEuropeanUnion Brexit]], that line may be either [[HarsherInHindsight Harsher]] or HilariousInHindsight.
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* One of the things town heralds can be heard announcing (If they're not screaming about how you're an insane murderer who must be stopped) is the banning of a certain lay about a little boy, as it has been the cause of some "embarrassing physical juttings in public" by priests.
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* One of the things town heralds can be heard announcing (If they're not screaming about how you're an insane murderer who must be stopped) is the banning of a certain lay play about a little boy, as it has been the cause of some "embarrassing physical juttings in public" by priests.