History Film / TheAssassinationBureau

A classic British BlackComedy film from 1969, directed by Basil Dearden and adapted from the novel ''The Assassination Bureau, Ltd'' (which was started by Creator/JackLondon in 1910, left unfinished, and [[PosthumousCollaboration completed by Robert L. Fish]] in 1963).

* ThrownFromTheZeppelin: Not the literal case of the general's men whom Ivan takes out on the way to Minsk, but during the opening board meeting where he reveals to them Sonia's commission--right as he's about to strike the gavel declaring that the attempts on his life may begin in 24 hours, one member of the Bureau attempts to jump the gun by hurling a knife at him. Instead he ducks aside and throws the gavel with (presumably) killing force into the man's head.

* FamousLastWords: When Monsieur Lucoville is about to break down the door to the room in his bordello where Ivan and Sonia are hiding (unaware that the former [[MacGyvering has used bandages from the latter's first-aid kit]] to attach matches to the door jamb that will [[IncendiaryExponent set off the gas they've filled the room with]]), he uses the same words his wife had when praising him for his ([[SleazyPolitician supposed]]) standing up against vice as a senator: "If you want something done right, do it yourself!"

* AttendingYourOwnFuneral: Downplayed example; by hiding in the coffin (which was supposed to [[FakingTheDead hold his own body]] anyway), Ivan is able to listen in and hear Bostwick's plans, but this is just during a brief wake before the coffin is to be disposed of.

* FamousLastWords: When Monsieur Lucoville is about to break down the door to the room in his bordello where Ivan and Sonia are hiding (unaware that the former [[MacGuyvering has used bandages from the latter's first-aid kit]] to attach matches to the door jamb that will [[IncendiaryExponent set off the gas they've filled the room with]]), he uses the same words his wife had when praising him for his ([[SleazyPolitician supposed]]) standing up against vice as a senator: "If you want something done right, do it yourself!"

** In Vienna, while Sonia is at an outdoor cafe waiting for Ivan, a suspicious man seated behind her watches with a malicious glare [[NewspaperThinDisguise from behind his newspaper]]. Right as Ivan approaches her table, the other man rises from his chair and pulls out a gun, causing Sonia to [[DivineSave leap on Ivan and pull him out of the line of fire]]. But it turns out the man was an unrelated assassin who had been shooting at a dignitary on a nearby balcony which just so happened to be behind Ivan. The latter dryly observes that he doesn't have a monopoly on assassination.

** In Vienna, while Sonia is at an outdoor cafe waiting for Ivan, a suspicious man seated behind her watches with a malicious glare [[NewspaperThinDisguise from behind his newspaper]]. Right as Ivan approaches her table, the other man rises from his chair and pulls out a gun, causing Sonia to leap on Ivan and pull him out of the line of fire. But it turns out the man was an unrelated assassin who had been shooting at a dignitary on a nearby balcony which just so happened to be behind Ivan. The latter dryly observes that he doesn't have a monopoly on assassination.
** As noted below under HistoricalInJoke, the bomb intended for Ivan (hidden in a blatwurst) ends up killing Archduke Franz Ferdinand instead. However, this plays into Bostwick's plans, since the resulting tensions in Europe which threaten to explode into war lead to a peace conference, one where he can kill all the nations' leaders at once and install his own puppets in power.

* TheCavalryArrivesLate: After being refused admittance to the castle where all the heads of Europe are meeting for a peace conference, Sonia takes advantage of the helpful hint provided by one of the guards that they will not refuse a crossing for the Sisters of Mercy to return dressed as a nun. But when she comes bursting inside with her warning about the bomb and shoves her way past the guards, [[NunTooHoly cursing up a storm]] (for the time, anyway), she finds Ivan has already gotten there ahead of her, saved the day, and has been knighted for his efforts.

Of course, he also has reason to believe that his 2IC (Telly Savalas) has reasons of his own for wanting him dead.

Creator/OliverReed plays Ivan Dragomiloff, the head of a MurderInc gang in London. While he is quite proud of his accomplishments, he feels that his subordinates have lost track of the high moral standard on which his father founded the association: No killing unless it can be determined that {{murder is the best solution}}. To that end, he accepts an offer from journalist Sonia Winter (Creator/DianaRigg): If they can't kill him, he will kill them.

A classic BlackComedy from 1969.

!This movie has examples of

* WidowsWeeds: Due to {{FakingTheDead}}, Miss Winter and a female antagonist have a montage showing them dressing in competitively glamourous mourning - both are rather too fashionable by the end of it for the intended sentiment to apply, but it's a very ironic movie overall.

* PoisonedChaliceSwitcheroo: Dragomiloff sees the chalice being poisoned, and notes that the table has the ability to rotate. He then notes which chalice has the poison, rotates the table, and drinks to fake his own death. Fortunately for him, the would-be murderer senses that the tables are being turned, and refuses to drink from the actual poisoned chalice.

Creator/OliverReed plays Ivan Dragomiloff, the head of a professional GangOfAssassins. While he is quite proud of his accomplishments, he feels that his subordinates have lost track of the high moral standard on which his father founded the association: No killing unless it can be determined that {{murder is the best solution}}. To that end, he accepts an offer from journalist Sonia Winter (Creator/DianaRigg): If they can't kill him, he will kill them.