History Awesome / OneThousandWaysToDie

* '''Fiddle Licked''': A CIA agent posing as a violinist in a fancy restaurant uses an experimental [[FrickinLaserBeams laser]] [[DeathRay rifle]] to kill a terrorist posing as a man on a date.

* '''Wrin-Killed''': A purse-snatcher gets his trachea smashed by a little old lady with 30 years' experience in Tae Kwon Do when he tried to take her purse. Eagerly and hilariously lampshaded in the recreation itself, since the bystanders actually start cheering for the grandma as they watch on how she curbstomps the AssholeVictim.

* '''Premature Endings''': A woman walks through a hospital filled with people suffering fro injuries that wouldn't look out of place on the rest of the show. The woman walks through them all and into a room containing her dying father, who's had a long, rewarding life and is about to pass away of... old age. This is a twofold moment of awesome, one for the show's message (you can either live like the people before this and end up on the show, or you can live sensibly like the dying old man and watch the show), and one for the fact that the man died ''completely peacefully''!

* '''Bring Bring''' An obnoxious Chinese sweatshop owner obsessed with gangster rap is killed when his abused workers get their revenge on him by [[TheDogBitesBack poisoning him with a gold grill lined with rosary peas]].
* '''Back Stabbed''' A Viking leaves his brother in charge of his village while he goes marauding. The brother abuses this power to rape the women in the village, including his brother's wife. When his brother returns and catches him. He kills his brother by cutting his back open and ripping his lungs out (this is called the "Blood Eagle").

* '''Orspasm''' A woman with PGAD (a condition that makes people orgasm from the slightest vibration) is tormented by her current boyfriend who makes her orgasm for his own pleasure. One day he pokes her with a muscle massager and she orgasms which causes her to knock him down the stairs killing him. Even if it was an accident, it was pretty awesome seeing her do that.
* '''Homie Invasion/Homie's Dead''' A thief named Vince sneaks into a couple's house and attacks the husband with a baseball bat when he investigates, killing him. The wife tries CPR, but it doesn't work. However, after she leaves in grief (and a [[FissionMailed fake title card]]), the man wakes up, as apparently her CPR caused what's known as "[[https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lazarus_syndrome Lazarus Syndrome]]". As Vince is trying to climb down the balcony, the husband's revival scares the hell out of him, causing him to fall three stories onto ''solid pavement''.

* '''Radium Girls''': In this case, it's not the death that is a crowning moment, but the aftermath of said death. A woman from the 1920s named Wendy died by covering herself with glow-in-the-dark, [[ANuclearError radioactive paint]] (using it as body paint for her lover during sex), and contracted bone cancer. The company she worked for knew about the dangerous effects of radium, yet used it in their paint anyway, and in fact [[MoralEventHorizon encouraged]] the female workers to keep their paintbrushes sharp by licking them, and thus consuming dangerous radioactive material. After the woman's death, her co-workers filed one of the first successful workers' rights lawsuits, won, and according to the narration, "increased safety standards across America." TheOtherWiki confirms this [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radium_Girls as the truth]]; ''it was the first successful lawsuit of its kind in the United States''.

* '''Bring Bring''' An obnoxious Chinese sweatshop owner obsessed with gangster rap is killed when his abused workers get their revenge on him by [[TheDogBitesBack poison him with a gold grill lined with rosary peas]].

* '''Homie Invasion/Homie's Dead''' A thief named Vince sneaks into a couple's house during a heat wave (all the doors and windows are open) and attacks the husband with a baseball bat when he investigates, killing him. The wife tries CPR, but it doesn't work. However, after she leaves in grief (and a [[FissionMailed fake title card]]), the man wakes up, as apparently her CPR caused what's known as "the Lazarus Syndrome". As Vince is trying to climb down the balcony, the husband's revival scares the hell out of him, causing him to fall three stories onto ''solid pavement''.

-->'''Boxer''': [[PreAssKickingOneLiner Guess what?! I ain't no lady!]] *[[MegatonPunch punch]]*

** Loses all awesomeness when they see it's their old friend and the girl bursts into tears... Even worse is that in an instant, the man has [[SchoolDays ruined their lives]], making sure the wedding is replaced by visiting him in a jail cell.

** Loses all awesomeness when they see it's their old friend and the girl bursts into tears... Even worse is that in an instant, the man has ruined their lives, making sure the wedding is replaced by visiting him in a jail cell.

* '''Radium Girls''': In this case, it's not the death that is a crowning moment, but the aftermath of said death. A woman from the 1920s named Wendy died by covering herself with glow-in-the-dark, [[ANuclearError radioactive paint]] (using it as body paint for her lover during sex), and contracted bone cancer. She got the idea because the company she worked for knew about the dangerous effects of radium, yet used it in their paint anyway, and in fact [[MoralEventHorizon encouraged]] the female workers to keep their paintbrushes sharp by licking them, and thus consuming dangerous radioactive material. After the woman's death, her co-workers filed one of the first successful workers' rights lawsuits, won, and according to the narration, "increased safety standards across America." TheOtherWiki confirms this [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radium_Girls as the truth]]; ''it was the first successful lawsuit of its kind in the United States''.

* '''Back Stabbed''' A Viking leaves his brother in charge of his village while he goes marauding. The brother abuses this power to rape the women in the village, including his brother's wife. When his brother returns and catches him. He kills his brother by cutting his back open and ripping his lungs out (this is called Blood Eagle).
-->'''Chieftain:''' I'm going to kill you! ''The worst way I know how!''

* '''Wrin-Killed''': A purse-snatcher gets his trachea smashed by a little old lady with 40 years' experience in Tae Kwon Do when he tried to take her purse. Eagerly and hilariously lampshaded in the recreation itself, since the bystanders actually start cheering for the grandma as they watch on how she curbstomps the AssholeVictim.

* '''Bring Bring''' An obnoxious Chinese sweat-shop owner is killed when his abused workers [[TheDogBitesBack poison his tacky gold grill]].

-->'''Boxer''': [[PreAssKickingOneLiner Guess what?! I ain't no lady!]] *punch*

* '''M.R.Ouch''': A smokin' hot nurse who once was in the military ries to disarm a gun-toting drug addict with an MRI machine -- and ends up killing him when the metal plate in his head also gets attracted.
* '''Ichiboned''': A Japanese couple who were too repressed to have sex finally do it, but because they've never done it before, their hearts gave out when they reached simultaneous orgasms. It's more a BittersweetEnding (or even a TearJerker), but it does count as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome just for the fact that '''they didn't die in some bloody, horrific way'''. Even the narrator acknowledges this as a tragedy for some and gives it the #1 spot.

* '''Fiddle Licked''': A CIA agent posing as a violinist in a fancy restaurant uses an experimental laser rifle to kill a terrorist posing as a man on a date.

* '''Radium Girls''': In this case, it's not the death that is a crowning moment, but the aftermath of said death. A woman named Wendy died by covering herself with glow-in-the-dark, [[ANuclearError radioactive paint]], and contracted bone cancer. She got the idea because the company she worked for knew about the dangerous effects of radium, yet used it in their paint anyway, and in fact [[MoralEventHorizon encouraged]] the female workers to keep their paintbrushes sharp by licking them, and thus consuming dangerous radioactive material. After the woman's death, her co-workers filed one of the first successful workers' rights lawsuits, won, and according to the narration, "increased safety standards across America." TheOtherWiki confirms this [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radium_Girls as the truth]]; ''it was the first successful lawsuit of its kind in the United States''.

* '''M.R.Ouch''': A smokin' hot nurse tries to disarm a gun-toting drug addict with an MRI machine -- and ends up killing him when the metal plate in his head also gets attracted.

* '''Wrin-Killed''': A purse-snatcher gets his trachea smashed by a little old lady with 40 years' experience in Tae Kwon Do when he tried to take her purse.
** Lampshaded in the recreation itself, since the bystanders actually start cheering for her as they watch on how she curbstomps the AssholeVictim.
* '''Radium Girls''': In this case, it's not the death that is a crowning moment, but the aftermath of said death. A woman died by covering herself with glow-in-the-dark, [[ANuclearError radioactive paint]], and contracted bone cancer. She got the idea because the company she worked for knew about the dangerous effects of radium, yet used it in their paint anyway, and in fact [[MoralEventHorizon encouraged]] the female workers to keep their paintbrushes sharp by licking them, and thus consuming dangerous radioactive material. After the woman's death, her co-workers filed one of the first successful workers' rights lawsuits, won, and according to the narration, "increased safety standards across America." TheOtherWiki confirms this [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radium_Girls as the truth]]; ''it was the first successful lawsuit of its kind in the United States''.

* '''Wrin-Killed''': Similarly, the're this BadassGrandma who almost got mugged but fought back without hesitation -- since she was a Taekwondo practitioner ''with 30 years of eperience''. Lampshaded in the recreation itself, since the bystanders actually start cheering for her as they watch on how she curbstomps the AssholeVictim of a mugger - who ultimately dies since her final hit was on his thoat, accidentally crushing his windpipe.

* '''Ichiboned''': A Japanese couple who were too repressed to have sex finally do it, but because they've never done it before, their hearts gave out when they reached simultaneous orgasms. It's more a BittersweetEnding (or even a TearJerker), but it does count as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome just for the fact that they didn't die in some bloody, horrific way. Even the narrator acknowledges this as a tragedy for some and gives it the #1 spot.