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Main Neglectful Precursors Discussion
What has playing "phoenix wright" have to do with this topic at all? This is an interesting topic, but the completely unnecessary "court speak" (for no reason) really makes it harder to enjoy the page.
Can we restore most of the court type stuff that was deleted that stuff was the most fun stuff from the page.
Saving this bit because I like it.
The Case: Mechanoids v. The Humans of Red Dwarf, sealed for 3,000, 000 years until levels of Cadmium II reached a safe level, resides within this folder
- Humanity themselves, in Red Dwarf. They left a huge number of maladjusted sentient beings ranging from genetically engineered bioweapons to homicidal cybernetic war machines with indefinite lifespans to overpossessive gestalt entities to mind and emotion sucking parasites. The only saving grace seems to be that they all want to kill all humans (virtually to the exclusion of everything else), which, three million years into the future, consisted mainly of Lister.
- OBJECTION: As it has been clearly established that there is no "everything else" in the Dwarf-iverse, save for the creations of humans, the defense demands the prosecution supply testimony of a living, non-human witness. If this is impossible, the defense moves for the dropping of all charges, save the lesser offense of "Having Your Own Race Destroyed by Your Foolish Frankenstein-esque Creations."
- The Prosecution calls forward The Cat. He and his people were not the end result of any genetic engineering or design, but rather eons of inbreeding and mutation (and as descendants of a domestic house cat, have no trace of human DNA in them). He was targeted for destruction by Kryten's replacement, had his emotions sucked TWICE, was subjected to the horrible effects of the Despair Squid, had been threatened by Simulants on multiple occasions, been trapped in the psyche of a dangerously neurotic individual on a psychically sensitive artificial moon, been kept prisoner by a gestalt entity, been captured by sentient wax figurines depicting the worst humanity had to offer, been captured by an entire race of Arnold Rimmer Clones (which in and of itself should be more than enough to convict humanity a dozen times over), and in an unaired but storyboarded episode (which was replaced by the cheaper "Duct Soup"), had the few remaining members of his race imprisoned by GELFS who used them alternatively as slaves and a food source. This probably does not cover everything that happened over the course of the series, not to mention offscreen events like the attack of the pan-dimensional liquid beast on Christmas of 3'00x'xxx.
- (He's really got me against the ropes... there has to be a contradiction in the court record that I can use to turn things around!)
- HOLD IT! I have here the sworn Holy Book for the entirety of the Cat people, wherein it states the utmost love and reverence for Cloister the Stupid, a human whom they credit as the father of the race, willingly frozen in time so that they might survive. As near as we can tell, this refers to the actions of David Lister, who is indeed (if barely) human. Not only does this prove that Felis Sapiens's very existence is due to human influence, but the willing sacrifice of Lister to protect the holy mother, Frankenstein, hardly seems "Neglectful," your honor! (Cue Pursuit-Cornered!)
- Your Honour, David Lister could not have foreseen the creation of the Cat Race and nor the events that surrounded it (Red Dwarf's Reactor Meltdown, which kept the mutations high enough that inbreeding would not have destroyed the population). Meanwhile, the one who could have predicted it wrote the incident off as a drug-induced hallucination. Furthermore, the inadvertent development of a single semi-stable population (which the Prosecution adds, nearly wiped itself out in holy wars because Lister was not sufficiently clear on the colouring of the hats) can not offset the multitudes of humanity's intentionally created monstrosities that managed to escape them. This court has already convicted other Negligent Precursors who left behind beneficent populations in addition to their multitudes of doomsdays artifacts and deranged sentient creations (see V. Star Control Precursors as precedent), and the Prosecution does not see why humanity should be given leniency here either.
- Counselor, your argument is faulty. "Intentionally-created monstrosities that managed to escape them" is another way of saying Turned Against Their Masters, or, to quote the defense, "Having Your Own Race Destroyed by Your Foolish Frankenstein-esque Creations." As yet, there are still no examples of humanity acting as a precursor race regarding another species (or even a related race which developed from a seeding program), which it then left in the lurch. This court will grant a continuance to gather further evidence, but unless you can present evidence of your claims, this court will grant the defense's motion and dismiss this case.
- Thank you, your honor. Also, the defense would like to call attention to the lower court decision Justice Field V. David Lister, a ruling that has exonerated David Lister of all crimes (save some unrelated Hotel Theft), and thus proving himself not liable to the Cat Race... TAKE THAT!
- Objection! The Justice Field works by detecting guilt therefore its verdict only proves that Dave Lister feels no guilt regarding the creation of the cat race.
- If Ridiculously Human Robots may be counted as a "species", the prosecution brings forward the remains of the Wax Droids of the episode Meltdown. After being abandoned for millions of years, they broke their programming, whereupon the Villain Wax Droids attacked the Hero Wax Droids and almost wiped them out (so the "good" wax droids were indeed left in the lurch). We are even forced to overhear the execution of Winnie the Pooh. It wasn't until Arnold Rimmer arrived and used his military "genius" to wipe out the entire planet.
- Though it may be argued that Rimmer's actions had the main effect of sending them to their eternal happy reward in Silicon Heaven, the defense accepts the prosecution's logic, and therefore moves for an indefinite suspension of the proceedings until a higher court rules on What Measure Is A Non Human: a decision that will clearly only come at the same time that Silcon Hell has been reasonably determined to freeze over.
- This court finds the motion in order, and now, before we sock everyone with a felony Thread Mode fine, we shall adjourn to the Bad Guy Bar across the street for Beer Milkshakes and the pre-requisite Schiff One Liner. Gavel Pound... Roll Credits.
- OBJECTION: As it has been clearly established that there is no "everything else" in the Dwarf-iverse, save for the creations of humans, the defense demands the prosecution supply testimony of a living, non-human witness. If this is impossible, the defense moves for the dropping of all charges, save the lesser offense of "Having Your Own Race Destroyed by Your Foolish Frankenstein-esque Creations."