Jackass Genie- The Forum Game

B: Your laugh is aesthetically pleasing. People love to make you laugh.

L: Your laughter is loud, but no better or worse to hear than it was before.

J: Your laughter is grating, and you laugh all the time at the worst possible moment.

I wish I was a complete and utter bitch and could get away with it.

B: Granted, you act terribly and no one cares.

L: Granted, you're now a female dog. And of course you can get away with being a complete and utter female dog because you're so darn cute.

J: Granted, but now you're constantly rude and abrasive and can never stop feeling that way even if you wanted to, and because no one cares that you're behaving that way, they can't help you.

I wish I could travel into the world of any video game and back again at will.

edited 1st May '16 3:14:07 PM by kablammin45

B: Now you can travel to and from any video games you want.

L: You can travel to and from video games chosen at random.

J: You didn't specify whose will it is, so he "mistakenly" interprets it as HIS will. Only he can decide where you go, and for how long.

I wish I was the ringmaster of the greatest circus ever!

B: Your circus is the best in the world and you always sell out wherever you go.

L: you're the best ringmaster in the world, but like all circus attendance is low.

J: You become great at being an asshole towards animals.

I wish to change the history of the world with no consequences towards me or my family.

B: You can make whatever changes you want without fear of the consequences.

L: Gives HIM the power to make changes, except for ones that affect you or your family.

J: You can make changes that don't affect you or your family... just your house and possessions.

I wish that all the drafts on Trope Launch Pad that are ready to launch would JUST BE LAUNCHED ALREADY!

Benevolent: Granted! They're all launched and we have some nice new tropes.

Literal: The hard drive they're stored on is launched into outer space.

Jackass: The hard drive they're stored on is tied onto a missile and launched at your house.

I wish I had space for a bigger fridge.

Ben: Granted, there's more space for your new fridge, and it comes with a filtered water dispenser.

Lit: Your room is bigger, about the size of Texas.

Jack: Here you are, in outer space. Forgot the helmet, oops.

I wish that I could become a great game developer.

edited 29th Jun '16 7:02:32 AM by TheFarmboy

Benevolent: You develop some of the most critically acclaimed games of all time, developing a loyal following and some very iconic characters.

Literal: You become a person who makes a lot of video games.

Jackass: You are now a game developer who is morbidly obese.

I wish my friend had showed up at this bookstore today.

Benevolent: Your friend showed up at the exact same time you did!

Literal: He was here five minutes ago. You just missed him.

Jackass: Your friend is kidnapped and locked up in the bookstore's basement.

I wish I had an IQ of 5000.

Beneficial: You have a 5000 IQ and you use it to advance humanity.

Literal: Here's 5000 I's and Q's.

Jackass: You have a 5000 IQ, but you can't learn more than four moves, and you accidentally replaced breathing with Shadow Ball. You die.

I wish I had barbed wire!

edited 29th Jun '16 12:02:14 PM by Gehayadren

Benevolent: You are not only given barbed wire, but you can touch it without getting hurt, because magic.

Literal: Alters the past so that, back then, you had taken wire and put barbs in it, so now you have barbed wire in the present - but now you're exhausted from all that work, and you may have injured yourself assembling the barbed wire.

Jackass: Literally throws a bunch of barbed wire right on top of you.

I wish I could breath underwater and not be affected by water pressure.

B: Granted! You can now swim wherever you want in the ocean!

L: Granted, but the genie interpreted it as peer pressure, so now the water can't pressure you into doing something you shouldn't. (And water pressure, on the other hand...)

J: Granted! You are now an angler fish. Hope you weren't too attached to being human!

I wish Flygon would either get a Mega Evolution or an Alola form in the new Pokémon games.

B: Granted! Flygon gets a Mega and an Alola variant that also gets a Mega!

L: Granted. Mega Flygon in Sun and Moon, but only in Sun and Moon. Forever.

J: Granted, but Alola Flygon loses it's Dragon type and gains the Truant ability. Lore reasons say something about all Flygon becoming lazy fucks in the tropical climate.

I wish to bend others under my will.

edited 11th Aug '16 3:30:06 PM by Volatile-Fox

B: You can now manipulate people's minds to make them do whatever you want.

L: You can now physically manipulate people's bodies as if they were made of clay.

J: You can now manipulate people's minds and bodies... but you can't control it. Some people will be manipulated and mutilated while others are perfectly fine, and they don't react well to this.

Benevolent: You can see extremely well and sharply both in the dark and during the day.

Literal: You can see in the dark but lose most color vision during the daytime.

Jackass: You can only see things in the dark. Everything you see is warped by your mind to look like terrifying demonic beasts, quickly causing you to go insane.

I wish I wasn't bored.

Ben: he gives you an awesome videogame you always wanted

Lit: he removes your ability to be bored.

Jack: he sends a pack of wolves after you, now you're terrified instead of bored.

I wish to become the ruler of Europe.

B: Granted! You're now king of Europe.

L: Granted! You're now a ruler on someone's school desk in Europe.

J: Granted, either same as Literal, or everyone on the continent decides they don't like you and force you out of office.

I wish I had the ability to transform into any of the characters in my avatar gallery.

edited 12th Aug '16 9:35:31 AM by kablammin45

Ben: Granted. You have full control over any of the characters. You can turn back. Lit: Same as Ben, but you cannot turn back. Jack: It’s completely random. You may be a cosmic horror 1 second, a kitten the next: it’s horribly inefficient.

I wish the Player Punch trope didn’t exist.

B: Granted! Games all have happy endings for everyone you care about now.

L: Granted! Tropes no longer exist, ergo, this one doesn't.

J: Granted! Society collapses. No new games are ever made and all the remaining copies are destroyed.

I wish all adaptations were faithful the source material.

edited 13th Nov '17 8:40:38 PM by TheGreatUnknown

B: Ok. No Adaptation Decay here, move along.

L: All works are now faithful to the original source. They are adaptations of the Bible. Everything is religious now.

J: They are faithful, but the source is the necronomicon. Cthulu eats your face. Have a Nice Death.

I wish to be turned into a Latias, Gender Bender and all. The transformation is not painful, and no one attempts to catch me. Also, I am still capable of human speech.

the letter a makes all the difference, you know.

edited 4th Jan '18 4:29:24 PM by TalesofUnder

(bump)

B: OK, Latios you are.

L: Granted, but because the real world isn't the Pokemon world and doesn't have any magic (genies don't count, for reasons), you're basically just a very big animal with no powers.

J: You become an NPC Latios in a new Pokemon themed MMORPG. Have fun spending the rest of your existance saying hellow to player created characters, until the day the servers shut down.

I wish I had weapons grade level sass powers.

B: Your sass is the best website in the universe world.

L: Your sass is a weapon.

J: Your sass is a weapon, that you cannot control.

I want a hot dog! NOW!

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Jul 26th 2018 at 8:26:52 AM

B: You get a delicious hot dog!

L: You get a dog! ...but it's burning hot to the touch.

J: Sets the nearest dog on fire.

I wish I was done with all my homework!

B: Does your homework, quickly.

L: Does your homework, slowly.

J: Does your homework, slowly. And it is wrong.

I wish that that neighbor's dog would stop peeing on my foot.

Edited by Playing_with_boy on Jul 29th 2018 at 10:14:35 AM