Ask A Stupid Question, Get A Stupid Answer...

Exactly What It Says on the Tin. But before we start, I just want to lay down a few ground rules:

1. This is NOT "Why Is?". This is its own topic. Though the format is similar, the basic premise is much different.
2. This thread is supposed to be about dumb questions in well-written posts. Proper spelling and grammar are to be used(except when you're attempting to apply a Phonetic Accent, which is allowed so long as you state it first. Spoiler tags optional).
3. Please try not to spoil anything from any series or work. Things which fall under It Was His Sled or You Should Know This Already are fine, but major spoilers for a recently released work are not.

Alright everyone, have fun. Oh, first question:

Why doesn't Mario just kill Bowser already?

That's a very good question. You see, Mario and Bowser are actually business partners in the work of creating stories to sell to their respective kigndoms, with Peach, Luigi, and others being in on it and gaining their share of the pie. Each time they need a new story, they think up bigger and bigger stuff and have made trillions in gold coins.

I have been trying to start a garden for the past three years, so I can eat more vegetables and green foods... but there's a huge frickin Fraggle colony underneath my house. Do you have any ideas how to stop the Fraggles from stealing my radishes?

Just convince them the radishes are radical

Why does everyone have a Xanatos Gambit in Final Fantasy Tactics?

edited 8th Oct '09 8:07:51 PM by x0JohnDoe0x

They graduated from the Xanatos Academy for Scheming.

I have been trying to start a garden for the past 3 years, so I can eat more vegetables and green foods... but there's a huge frickin Fraggle colony underneath my house. Do you have any ideas how to stop the Fraggles from stealing my radishes?

edited 8th Oct '09 8:13:49 PM by TropeKira

Gopher bombs? I dunno...

Why does everyone seem to think the B-Gear in Ace Online is just a bomber, despite the fact that it can turn just as well and run almost as fast as the I-Gear?

Because "almost as fast" is not the same as "as fast", and the game is Serious Business.

Why do so many transformers transform into cars and jets, and so few into more idiosyncratic things like, for example, toasters?

Because toasters don't have wheels or engines.

Why do we park in driveways, and drive in parkways?

Because you touch yourself at night.

Who would win in a fight: Ash Ketchum or Ash Williams?

Ash Williams, because he's Bruce Campbell, unless Ash Ketchum was allowed to use his Pokemon.

Why are there so many Final Fantasy games?

Because the series is leading up to the final fantasy story ever.

If you could make your own full-length film with a budget of a Hollywood blockbuster and all the resources needed to film it, what would it be about?

Because the execs of Squaresoft made a Deal with the Devil. Devil May Cry!

Why Devil May Cry is so awesome?

edited 8th Oct '09 9:11:17 PM by vandro

It's not, it's all just Narm Charm... for some.

Am I stupid for thinking that Star Fox should go Off the Rails and become a Wide-Open Sandbox game?(according to the Fan Dumb, yes)

Sure, Why Not??

Why is my doggie so cute?

Because! Duh. Dogs are always cute.

Why do people keep telling my they heard I like mudkip? What's a mudkip anyway? A type of food?

It's a stupid meme. Just ignore them.

Speaking of memes, where did Boom, Headshot! come from anyways?

Because he's one of the leaders of a sooper-seekrit canine plot to take over the world, reducing humans to simple can-opening, frisbee-throwing slaves, and "cute" has been found to be an excellent disguise protecting him from suspicion. (I know that this is true because my cat told me so.)

Why won't my neighbor across the alley pull his car all the way into his driveway, instead of leaving it halfway out into the alley?

Because he hates you.

Who would you rather be president, the T-1000, Gumby, or Papa Smurf?

edited 9th Oct '09 12:08:29 PM by TropeKira

The love child of Gumby and Papa Smurf being mimicked by T-1000, duh.

Batman or Superman, who would win?

edited 9th Oct '09 12:10:12 PM by Katrika

Batman because he's always carrying a chunk of Kryptonite somewhere on him.

Why does Batman always win the fights he's thrown into?

Because he's the goddamn Batman.

Who would win in a fight between a lion and 1,000 bees?

edited 9th Oct '09 12:12:18 PM by TropeKira

NOT THE BEES

Do you believe MAGIC is real?

Of course I do. Arthur C. Clarke is a wizard and just lies to hide the world of magic.

I lost my remote control. Do you know where it is?

No.

Is rallying or NASCAR the superior form of motorsport?

fyi, MAJOR rally fan over here(like you couldn't tell)

No. That would be chariot races. On dragons.

I have a problem, there's a stranger out to find me, and I'm pretty sure there's danger right behind me. What should I do?

Run in circles, scream and shout.

Should I order in pizza or lo mein for dinner?