Favorite lines from your own writing

This topic got a bit weird after a few posts.

edited 5th Sep '11 11:49:39 PM by SherlockPoirot

"Let's just say that a young woman's first experience of pornography should not involve clowns, midgets, or donkeys." —Claire Ashecroft

"Why are you telling me this? It's always the hero who gets the 'Luke, I am your father' moment, never the rebellious princess who turns out to be his sister." —Naomi Bradleigh

"Killing demons and saving the world is work for a hero. Do I look like a hero to you?" —Morgan Stormrider

edited 21st Apr '09 8:18:21 AM by Eddie Van Helsing

Tough one...

I guess...it would have to be...

“So…the Dark Realm is our world with demons, a weak sun, purple, and a piss-yellow sky?” - Kenzo Satake

I just like how forward Satake is, and I figured if anyone were to snark on the Dark Realm, it'd be him.

Oh, and... (haven't posted this one yet so I'll leave out names, though it may well be easy to guess)

"You and the boy are so protective of her. Let her live a little."

"I intend to 'live a little'. Just not with you."

edited 21st Apr '09 9:48:06 AM by Cherry

I once planned a scene wehere the heroes storm the villains hideout to stop his evil plan long before the countdown starts. Once captured, the villain would start to spill his plans and reveal that he never got to initiate the abortable ten-minute countdown that would start the final phase of his evil plan. After about ten minutes of conversation, the villain would suddenly change his expression from bitter defeat to sadistic glee:

Villain: And just what do you think we've been doing these last ten minuttes anyways?

edited 21st Apr '09 9:53:23 AM by LatwPIAT

"They ran down the street laughing, past bars with french maids with cat ears outside, past Yakuza pimps in cars with pink tires, past women dressed as fictional characters and motorcycle gangs drifitng along the streets with their mufflers removed, hip-hoppers with coloured hoodies and large backpack presumably full of spraycans, neon signs and colourful cars, sights and sound, past dragqueens and drunken salarymen, they giggled and ran into a bar where the steady thump of music poured out."

A one-sentence stream-of-conciousness paragraph from one of my Creative Writing excersizes.

edited 22nd Apr '09 6:36:35 AM by JethroQWalrustitty

Hmm, this is a pretty tough choice...

Well, if I'm allowed to post a two-line dialogue, my personal favorite would have to be this exchange between the Type A Tsundere and the Affably Evil villain:

"Grr...! You are a fat bastard!!!"

"Now now, my dear. I don't make comments about your height, so don't do the same about my weight."

edited 21st Apr '09 10:06:39 AM by Komodin

Go for it. My wife was particularly amused by this line that I gave to Naomi Bradleigh, a Lady of War: "Morgan, don't ever tell me how you learned about that. I know about too many of Claire's fetishes already."

Also, as far as exchanges go:

"Do you have any idea what it means for humanity, if we could reverse-engineer and mass-produce this ship?"

"I don't know, but I hope it involves tentacles."

edited 21st Apr '09 10:14:36 AM by Eddie Van Helsing

Lol:

He wrung his hands in anguish, and his eye pleaded release. "You don't understand!" He looked at one of his captors, and then the other. Their faces were unrelenting and hard. "It's like..." there were hardly words. "It's like, like masturbating with someone else watching." He couldn't keep the red from his face.

Zoe stared. She looked at Jack, then at Sam. Sam had her eyes turned away and Zoe could see that she was blushing too. Her hand found her way to her forehead and she muttered, "like children, so childish." She looked at Jack, and said, "so it's no different from having sex at all, is it?"

Franklin "Einstein" Fleet; mad scientist, grown-boy genius, trickster, Campbellian hero, and ADD-afflicted.

-“Subtlety? What is this subtlety of which you speak?”

-“Your front door was locked, so we kicked it in. Scientifically.”

-“We have a very simple solution for such problems.”
“Such as?”
“Hit them with something heavy, preferably sharp. Then keep hitting them until they stop moving. Alternatively, shoot them.”

-“My invention seems to have made Deuce stupid! It does something! Huzzah!”

-“Wow. You took a beating.”
“You should see the other guy! I didn’t even mess up his hair!”

-“Things can’t get any worse. It could be worse. Nothing can go wrong! No one can stop us now! We did it! It’s finally over! Don’t look down. This cannot be! So far, so good. It’s quiet, too quiet. How hard can it be? It’s probably nothing. I hope I get to see my wife again. Trust me; I know what we’re doing. We are invincible!”
“Franklin! Stop tempting fate with carrots and money!”

edited 10th Jan '10 1:14:14 AM by krrackknut

My character Ran, revealing to her mother that she kinda sorta has magical powers: “Uh… well. Mom. Look, um… Don’t freak out. Even though you would be totally forgiven for freaking out, as this is a very freak-outish kind of thing, please, for my sake—don’t freak out.”

Her mother's response?:

"Real magic! And my own daughter is a mage! Oh, this is so exciting! I’m geeking out!"

And this snippet from a little later on in the chapter:

"“Lovely. The boy’s a walking thesaurus. In his illustrious vocabulary we will find such words as ‘prolix,’ ‘sentient,’ and ‘slashy bits.’”

I'm trying to think up more, and I know they're out there, but I'm drawing a blank. Sigh.

"I would not say my truths in riddles if there were better ways to convey them."

And

"How do you miss with a black hole? No, no, you do not miss with a black hole!"

edited 21st Apr '09 6:46:35 PM by Zephid

"Zombies named Jorge!" (pronounced Hor-hay) And.. It makes sense in context honest!

"Where's your God now?" "Behind you!"

Man, I haven't looked through my original fiction in a while. Found a few good lines.

Give an inch and they'll take a mile, that's how the saying goes. But in Nate's case, it'll be 5 miles. Or maybe kilometers, because he's difficult like that.

I don't remember writing this second story, but I am so going to try to figure out what the hell I was thinking with this:

"Whatever, I guess I thought wrong about you. Look, simply put, you have to kill me, that way I can leave for a higher plane of existence."

"There is no higher plane of existence," I remind him faintly.

"You know that, and I know that, but we've spent the past few years making sure no one else knows that. And if I die for them, we'll make sure they never do."

“Isn’t swords the suit of Air?”

Dare gave a short laugh. “Do you really want to see the results of giving Rika a sword?”

“No,” Lucy hastily replied.

“Hey!” Rika objected. “I’m not the one who got knocked flat on her back by the rookie.”

Dare gave her a sidelong glance. “My place in the martial arts Epic Fail Hall of Infamy does not change the fact that you can’t use an edge weapon to save your life. Every time Ally tried to teach her,” she confided to Lucy, “she just stood there and waved the thing around like a golf club. It’s like she’s got no proper instinct or appreciation for physical violence at all!”

“And cheery little comments like that,” Ally murmured to the redhead as Rika pouted, “are why we don’t let Dare carry blades, either.”

I love writing immature teenage girls, as you can no doubt see.

Yes, we can see, Furiko Maru. here's another exchange that you might find amusing.

Thagirion began to massage her forehead, a habit she retained from her mortal life despite the fact that demons could not get headaches. "Have I fallen in with a crew of transhumanists?"

"What's wrong with being a transhumanist?" Claire asked, gesturing with her half-empty glass of beer so that it threatened to slosh all over the table. "I'd be an idiot to turn down the chance to become an Asura. I could eat whatever I wanted and not get fat. I could fuck whomever I wanted and not have to worry about ST Ds. My tits would never sag, and best of all — I could throw away my strap-on!"

edited 22nd Apr '09 10:19:29 AM by Eddie Van Helsing

Alphonse: I am off to kill my daughter- and find a new virgin. Bagdemagus: Do virgins come used?

"“No! You’re not Pretty, Pop-u-lark!” Fire’n’Ice shouted back, possibly louder than he should’ve, but his ears were still ringing and he could barely hear himself thin-, no, he doesn’t think so that was probably a bad choice of imagery. I rephrase, he could barely hear the elevator music that replaced his average human thought process. And as for that “Pop-u-lark” comment. Naturally, since Libby never bothered with the inferior nerd-like ritual of giving herself any stupid names meant for the public to refer to her by, Fire’n’Ice and Wind wonder, in a process that involved a lot of giggle and inappropriate names I’d get in trouble for telling you, took the liberty of naming her The Pop-u-lark. And yes, she does hate that name-"-A Scene Between Fire'n'Ice and Wind Wonder facing their enemy, Pop-u-Lark

And...

"“I wouldn’t need your help…” Psy-kick responded. “The last thing I need is a little kid messing thins up. And a female no less…” Oh he was pulling on CL’s last nerve. And Mine too. Why do I even write this guy? “Why don’t you go home like a good little girl…” uh-oh. He turned away from her and crossed his arms, looking at the sky. “And play with your dolls.” CL’s… blood pressure… rising… “Or go to the mall…” 3…2…1… “And try on a pretty little dress.” Okay, THAT’S the last straw!"-Psy-kick and crimson Lighting After CL offers to partner up with P.K.

and finally

"“You wanna start something, ya chauvinistic pig?” CL stomped foreword. “Ya glorified grease stain!” She took more steps and electricity was flying from her body. “Ya lowly piece of British rubbish!” Oh, it is ON now!"-Well How else would YOU react?

I may love myself too much but i find my own work so funny...

edited 22nd Apr '09 2:03:48 PM by AC Drawings

I like this one for the lampshade hanging. Ignore the formatting codes, I took it directly from the game code. For reference, this occurs right before the first boss battle after navigating an Absurdly Spacious Sewer full of giant rats and puzzles.

I also love how this illustrates how they are a gender flipped typical hero and childhood friend. The girl is the headstrong, reckless adventurer and the boy is the cautious worrywort. There's more to it than that, but this helps establish the basics early on.

Taver: Hang on a second, Aislin.ta[1]

Aislin: Yeah?e[0]

Taver: Doesn't this strike you as odd? This sort of protection for something that carries away waste?ta[1]

Aislin: Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Why would anyone guard sewage?e[0]

Taver: I don't know. But I don't like this.ta[1]

Aislin: You don't want to turn back, do you?e[0]

Taver: Not yet. But let's stay alert, yeah?ta[1]

Aislin: "Alert" is my middle name.e[0]

Taver: And here I thought it was "Reckless." Or maybe "Headstrong." Or-w[15]ta[1]

Aislin: Hey!e[0]

edited 23rd Apr '09 8:19:08 AM by ccoa

That's cute, ccoa.

My wife liked this line that I gave to Naomi Bradleigh, my Lady of War character: "If you would have my obedience, claim it at swordpoint."

I'm a pretty bad writer.

Janet stood with the sun beating down upon her back astride the yellow dashed lines of the baking black asphalt highway that ran under the palisade wall from one end of town to the other. The prickling heat charged her with energy, and sent blood flowing to her pale hands and face. Little sweat drops stood out on the backs of Janet's arms. In her hand was the solid, steadfast weight of her trusted old iron crowbar. It felt good to have it in hand once more. It felt right.

To either side of her were the gathered townsfolk, watching silently. Slowly the crowd parted before Janet as Maya walked forth, weapon in hand, tall and graceful, with high and sweeping cheekbones and skin that glowed, dark and rich, in the noonday light. Maya stopped ten metres in front of Janet, holding her weapon at her side in a loose, steady grip.

It was a crowbar.

A dull gunmetal grey was Maya's crowbar, and it was made of cold steel, fully a metre long, and sharpened, like Janet's on the tapered chisel and hook ends. Janet smiled, electric-blue eyes glinting in the sunlight. The wind blew up, and caught a lock of Janet's shoulder-length chestnut-brown hair, and blew it across her eyes. She brushed it back behind her ear. This was to be an interesting fight.

"Are you ready?" declared the old music teacher.

Maya nodded with only a dip of her chin. Janet repeated the gesture.

"Duel."

"HEEEEAAAAAHHH!" Janet screamed, raising her crowbar.

The two women rushed forward, and clashed.

The two crowbars sang as they met in midair, galvanic steel upon forged iron; storm grey - the colour of the cold north Pacific ocean pounding upon rocky cliffs, against a battleworn burgundy - the war-god's colour of dried blood, and rust.

It's a little purple, but I wouldn't call it bad. It certainly is interesting. Now I want to know why two people are fighting a duel with crowbars...

It's a duel at high noon because of a dispute they had where one was apparently framed by the other for an attempt to steal a town's precious remaining stores of pre-disaster medicines in a postapocalyptic alternate present caused by the Y2K disaster come true. I wrote this stuff back two years ago, and it's pulpy as hell.

edited 23rd Apr '09 2:16:58 PM by [AOD]

Yeah, I'd turn down the purple, but it's otherwise good.

Is it possible to post multiple favs? If so, here's another one I find somewhat amusing.

"¡Olé!" Sonic tossed the cloth down to the ground and zipped out of the way just before Goht ran into him. As Goht ran past him, the cloth snagged on one of his steel hooves. With the cloth trapped in his hoof, the mechanical bull staggered around in a confused manner.

"Aaahhh!!!" Trying to keep balance as much as it could, it stumbled right into the stone wall once more. This more, its huge horns were driven deep within the stone, locking the bull in place. "Aaugh, not again! I'll kill you, damn rat!"

"Huh, really?" Sonic crossed his arms and laughed at the mechanical bull. "You couldn't kill a marshmallow puff..."

"Grr...!!! Aargh!!!" It started to shake its head around, trying to dislodge his horned head from the rock wall. As it did, a huge crack appeared from the hole where the horns are lodged in. As the bull shook around harder and harder, the crack expanded, travelling up the wall. The crack ran into a huge pile of boulders, slowly dislodging them from the ceiling.

"One more time...!!!" With one final attempt, Goht charged his head right into the wall. The crash caused the visible crack to go completely through the boulders. Suddenly, an avalanche of rocks rained down upon the mechanical beast. "Oh no!!!" One of the falling rocks fell right on top of Goht's masked head. The boulder caused the head to completely sever off, sending it flying to the other side of the room. The rocks rained down on the rest of the bull's body, completely burying it underneath.

On the other side of the room, a column of blue light started to appear around Goht's severed head. In the column, the mask lifted up and hovered a couple feet off the ground.

"Whoa, it worked!" The Blue Blur jumped in joy. "YES! Two down, two to go!"

Tatl flew out from the alcove and went over to the celebrating hedgehog. “Sonic,” she said, flying up to him. “That was so…”

“Awesome?" said Sonic as he crossed his arms and flashed a toothy smile, eyes closed. "Yeah, I know! ”

“Well, that wasn’t exactly the word I was thinking of…”

"Aw, come now, Tatl," said Sonic, lowering his eyebrows and rolling his eyes. “Must you always have to shoot me down whenever I do something awesome?”

"Somebody has to keep your huge ego in check," said Tatl, flashing him a half-smile. "Now let's get out of here already!

"C'mon, I just beat that giant mechanical bull over there!" he said, pointing at the pile of rocks burying Goht.

"And I beat you. Multiple times. Your point?"

"...Let's just grab the mask and leave..."

Is this exchange prosey enough? Or do I need to add some extra details?

edited 23rd Apr '09 8:12:27 PM by Komodin