Make your own Magic card!

There isn't any way to easily word "killed a creature" in the existing rules. Closest thing is "when/whenever a creature that [whatever] dealt damage to this turn dies," "dealt damage (to)," etc.

An actual rules text that meant that stuff would go:
"Destroy target creature that dealt damage to a creature that died this turn." And
"Deal 3 damage to target player that cast an instant or sorcery that dealt damage to a creature that died this turn."

And I'm not even sure those are completely valid wordings.

edited 19th Mar '15 2:34:55 PM by Knowlessman

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

And even then, it doesn't technically have to be the creature/player that actually killed the other creature, if, say, I blocked your 3/2 with two 1/1s, both of my 1/1s dealt damage to a creature that died.

Or to make it even more confusing, I block your 3/3 with two 1/1s, and then after the combat phase, I Shock it. Both of my creatures dealt damage to it, but neither one killed it—the Shock killed it. Yet with that wording, both creatures and the player would be potential targets.

edited 19th Mar '15 2:37:27 PM by SolipSchism

Ayup. That's how it works in the rules as-is. :/

I think I can see them adding "killed" as a legal word like that, though. Of course, the definition would probably only include damage and straight-up destruction ("dealt sufficient damage to it to destroy it and it was destroyed" or "targeted and caused it to be destroyed and it was destroyed"), and not toughness reduction, milling, or exiling.

Although there are board wipes that destroy, so I dunno if the instakill part would include "targeted" or not.

edited 19th Mar '15 2:45:21 PM by Knowlessman

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

Yeah, that makes sense. If I understand correctly, toughness reduction doesn't actually directly cause the creature to die—the creature is "put into the graveyard" as a "state-based action". In other words, I reduce your toughness to 0, and you die as a result of your toughness being zero—not as a result of me "killing" you.

Which is hilarious.

Ah, but I'm pretty sure things that affect toughness can be tracked, like maybe with "when an effect lowers [thing]'s toughness to 0" or something similar. Pretty sure at least something exists that can track a particular effect and fuck up its source/controller.

edited 19th Mar '15 2:51:30 PM by Knowlessman

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

I've changed it up. Does that make it better?

Bandit Clan (3R)

Creature - Human Rogue

2/2

Double strike

When ~ deals combat damage to an opponent, you can draw a card. If you do, discard a card.

edited 19th Mar '15 3:02:47 PM by Tojin

“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert

Rite of the Bonfire - BBB
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast ~, tap 3 untapped creatures you control.
Put a 5/5 black demon creature token with flying onto the battlefield. You lose 2 life.
Flashback - 2BBB, Sacrifice 3 creatures you control.
The shadows cast by the bonfire don't always move in time with their owner...

Hm. I'm not sure damage is ever called "lethal" in card text, but I believe it is in the rules themselves, so... Yeah. I think it works. Although the spell part would only take effect for outright killcards, I think. Burn spells deal damage; something that deals damage doesn't destroy (I think).

Actually, spells don't destroy; their effects cause things to be destroyed. I think. :/ This is muddy water we're in right now; this stuff isn't normally dealt with.

EDIT: "You may. If you do, discard." As-is, it makes you discard whether or not you drew, because rules grammar.

EDIT 2: I want desperately to call that OP, but I think they actually would make that card, at least at Rare. EDIT 3: It's damned cool and flavorful, though.

edited 19th Mar '15 3:02:04 PM by Knowlessman

i care but i'm restless, i'm here but i'm really gone, i'm wrong and i'm sorry, baby

Made some edits to both. Since Eye Remember's current wording also makes mill spells that mill a creature a valid target (I think), I priced it up a bit.

edited 19th Mar '15 3:05:48 PM by Tojin

“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert

Thanks!

It's actually not too crazy powerful. To get the best value out of it, you generally have to lead off with 3 one drops that all live until the third turn.

Granted that it could happen and potentially be pretty good, but it's also fairly easy to answer and requires some pretty restrictive deckbuilding constraints (generally monoblack, either aggressive or token build).

Edit: though it's definitely a limited bomb. Card advantage and demons? What's not to love?

edited 19th Mar '15 3:16:08 PM by Funden

1up - 3WW
Enchantment
~ enters the battlefield with a life counter on it.
When a creature you control dies, you may remove a life counter from ~. If you do, return that card to the battlefield under your control.
2WW: Put a life counter on ~.
Bribing death was easy. Convincing the paladin that he wasn't a zombie was the hard part.

What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?

Save Your Deity 2WW
Enchantment
If a god would leave the battlefield, you may sacrifice a permanent with 2 or more mana symbols of the same color as that god to return that god to the battlefield tapped.

Muggle Power 3WW
Sorcery
Destroy all clerics, druids, monks, mystics, shamans, spellshapers and wizards.

I may have exaggerated the latter slightly...

edited 19th Mar '15 3:42:15 PM by ImperialSunlight

''The eternal question of reality, it still stands today.''

Should also include artificers imo. Most of them just make magic robots.

Lmao:

Everything's Better with Spinning—4UU
Enchantment
1: Switch target creature's power and toughness until end of turn.
4: Put a spin counter on target creature.
At the beginning of your upkeep, switch the power and toughness of each creature with a spin counter on it.

edited 19th Mar '15 3:51:44 PM by SolipSchism

Redemption Promotion (4W)

Sorcery

Take control of target creature an opponent controls. Put a +1/+1 counter on it.

Heel–Face Revolving Door (2R)

Sorcery

Take control of target creature an opponent controls that you own until the end step. It gains haste until the end step.

Addiction-Powered (2B)

Enchantment

During a turn where you paid life to activate an ability or as the cost of a spell, during the end step, gain half as much life as the total amount of life you paid this turn.

“Not a promise, not an oath, or a malediction or a curse. Inevitable." - Taylor Hebert

I'm getting all the Thaddeus flashbacks.

Good idea—I should give it Flashback!

That makes me wonder whether we'll get flashback/unearth for artifacts/enchantments/lands/planeswalkers. It could be kind of interesting.

I'm having too much fun with these Incredibly Lame Puns:

Blue Is Heroic—3U
Enchantment
All nonblue permanents lose Heroic.

---

Fake Interactivity—0
Enchantment
Shroud
While on the battlefield, ~ does not count as a card, permanent, or enchantment.
0: Reveal ~. Activate this ability only while ~ is on the battlefield.
0: Target permanent gains "0: Reveal this permanent."

edited 19th Mar '15 4:14:55 PM by SolipSchism

Improbable Antidote WB
Instant
Target player sacrifices a creature. Gain 4 life.
"I feel better already!"

Dueling Player Characters 1B
Instant
Destroy target planeswalker. That planeswalker deals damage to you equal to the number of loyalty counters on it.

edited 19th Mar '15 4:34:48 PM by ImperialSunlight

''The eternal question of reality, it still stands today.''

Oh cool, how about this then?

Big Ball of Violence
Sorcery (2)

Target Planeswalker you control fights target Planeswalker you don't control (each deals damage equal to their loyalty counters to the other).

Megaton Punch
Sorcery (1GG)

Add two loyalty counters to a target Planeswalker you control. Then it fights a target Planeswalker you don't control.

"Many tried to replicate the Hunt-Caller's feats. Most failed."

edited 19th Mar '15 5:12:16 PM by Nitramy

Neither goony beard-men nor rainbow-haired she-twinks will stand in the way of my dreams!

I would have had Megaton Punch be "when target creature deals damage to creature or planeswalker this turn, Exile that permanent".

edited 19th Mar '15 5:18:47 PM by Elfive

Comically Missing the Point - UR
Instant
Change the target of target spell to any other valid target. If no such target exists, counter ~.
"Could you have done that at any time?"
"Of course not! Only when it was funny."

The Revolution Will Not Be Tropeable

Deus ex Machina - 10
Legendary Artifact
Flash
If you would lose the game, you win the game instead.
Well that came right the fuck out of nowhere.

What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?

The Little Detecto 2
Artifact
Tap: Name a card. Look at each card on top of your library in turn until you look at that card. Reveal that card. (The cards are then left in the same order they were in originally)

''The eternal question of reality, it still stands today.''