I need some cheesy, funny, action movie one-liners

I'm creating a character based off of the Memetic Badass trope, but I can hardly come up with any good one-liners for him.

What I did come up with follows.

*Comes face to face with a villain* "You got a bug on your face." *Punches villain in the face*

*Shoots roaring monster in the face* "Shut up."

*Gets thrown across the room by La Llorona* "All right, La Bitch-rona, it's on!"

I'm going for action movieish one-liners that are so cheesy that they're funny. The quotes I'm looking for are in the same vein as the following examples.

"I have come to kick ass and Chew Bubblegum. And I'm all out of bubblegum."

"AHHHHHHH yourself."

"I've got a gun, you've got a body. Let's paint the walls."

Anything Bruce Campbell says in Army of Darkness.

edited 25th Sep '10 9:16:07 PM by RL_Nice

Here's a free one.

"Allow me to introduce my foot to your ass!"

Look no further.

Don't forget to take inspiration from the Bond One-Liner.

"Looks like I've got some time to kill...you."

"You were just dying to see me."

"I've got a bachelor's in kicking ass and taking names."

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

"Out of the fire and into me!"

"Say hello to my friends "Pounder" and "Slap-master. Who do you want to meet first?"

"Your ass is grass, and Im the lawn mower" (gee, that sounded lame)

I'm reading all these suggestions in Duke Nukem's voice. Huh.

Anyway: "I'm not gonna open up a can of whoop-ass on you. I'm gonna open up a keg of whoop-ass on you."

"You're talking out your ass, and it's saying 'Kick me.'"

"What a face. If I kick it, I'll be kicking your ass at the same time."

edited 3rd Oct '10 4:54:05 PM by RL_Nice

"Jusssst do it."

"Now THAT's what I call an X!"

"Out there is the [dangerous thing], but in here is me!"

"You call that an X? This is how you X!"

"There's nothing like the smell of some fresh baked COOKIES!"

"Oh? So you want to turn back? And maybe we could go back to 'York, nice and quiet? And maybe we could hide in your mommy's basement and we could put on some pink dresses and have a tea party? BECAUSE WE'D BE SISSY PANT LADIES!"

"Alone in a lady's (articulated, with mock French) bou-do-ir. It's time to show that I can act like a gentleman. (moment of silence) ...Nah!"

...But yeah, Duke covers most of the big ones. Stock Phrases is your friend tho'.

"Is he dead?"
*BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM*
"Yep, won't get any deader now."

It's time we made like a tree and KICKED SOME ASS!!

"I hope you're not lactose-intorelant, because I'm about to serve you a double Mcroyale ass-akicking..."

(Takes shades off)

"...WITH CHEESE!"

YEAAAAAAAA- *Dies from lactose-intolerant cancer*

"Some people for live for the moment." (Pause) "Moment's over."

"May flights of angles sing thee to thy rest, pissant."

(At the end of a car chase that destroys the car) "Eh, it was a rental."

"Et tu, motherfucker."

"Less talking, more dying."

(After tying a bad guy to a rocket and launching him) "Far out."

(Before or after kicking a cult leader into the statue he worships) "Thy shall not worship false idols."

"There's only one cure for guys like you and here's the syringe." (Dramatic Gun Cock)

Take something from Mass Effect, both games have ton.

I also liked the ones you suggested.

time to settle some accounts 'ere

"Now you see me ..." (shoots villain in both eyes) "... now you won't."

"The Lord is my shepherd, and all of you are gonna get shorn."

(shoots missile up villain's ass) (villain explodes) "Looks like the baby made a boom-boom."

(hits villain in the head with a beeping alarm clock) "Don't you just hate Mondays?"

"I'm here to kick some ass." (smirks at villain) "But I'll settle for kicking a pussy."

"Let me give your story an ending."

"You're not going to see stars tonight...you're going to see fire!"

"Let me write you a song...with my gun!" -rapid fires opponent-

"Here! Take a desk job." -throws an office desk at opponent-

"Mama doesn't know what's best. I do!"

-in nightclub- "I'm going to get you on the floor tonight!" -slams opponent into floor-

Ooh, that's a good one!

Try to watch a movie that has a lot of deaths going on here and there and try remarking on them. write down what works and what doesn't. You'll get it down with practice.

"You know, you talk a lot of shit, but you never brush your teeth."

"How's this for a thoughtcrime?" (Blows out a villain's brains)

"Loosen up!" (Chokes villain on cakes and ale)

(Sets himself on fire, and latches on to the villain so that they both die) "Holy shit!"

(Gouges out a villain's eyes) "And we're not even in Gaza!"

(Stomping on a downed villain) "Here, let me demonstrate a fugue for you!" (Clones himself, and clones join in on the stomping)

(After destroying all foes) "All quiet on the western front."

(After chopping off a villain's arms) "Looks like a farewell to arms!"

(Eviscrates multiple villains) "Guess who just became the hollow men?"

(Reflects upon the horrible things he's done) "Why am I compelled to commit these atrocitiies? How is it that I am able to carve away flesh from man as if I were whittling? Each gobbet of gore haunts me, and I can feel the souls of the mad, cursed dead climbing the footholds of my psyche. Food turns to ash in my mouth; my appetite has divorced me. My tears offer no catharsis- only stinging, sulphuric hate-bites. I can't continue. I simply can't"

Basically everything in this video.

I particularly like "I hope you brought your wallet, because the rate in hell gets paid in advance!" and "How about I give you a lead Sandwich! Hold the life...and the mayo!"

edited 30th Dec '11 8:33:01 PM by NoirGrimoir

"You will be dead meat in no time."

• KA-BOOM*

"Now, just as I said, you are."

*snerk* @fugue

I like to go basically simple, or else have the fellow quasi-narrating his fights a la Lemony Narrator. Also, you could get some O.O.C. Is Serious Business if the guy is really seriously pissed off at someone, and instead of anything elaborate just says 'Fuck you.'

Not exactly a one-liner, but this was already done in Evil Dead II.