Dumb things you used to believe as a kid

Being the innocent child that I was, I used believe that the lyric "Want you in my room when your baby is sick" from Bad Romance had to do with neglectful parents hanging out in a room together instead of taking care of their child. I didn't consider the other implications...

edited 9th Nov '15 5:37:50 AM by DelightfullyQuirky

Those aren't the lyrics.

Whoops. Well, that's what I misheard it as. At least I have something to contribute to the Mondegreen thread now.

edited 9th Nov '15 10:14:47 AM by DelightfullyQuirky

It's actually "Want you in my rear window, baby it's sick".

Thanks for the correction. As it turns out, I've been hearing that song on the radio for years and not knowing what the correct lyrics are.

Well, you can add that one to the list of misheard lyrics, like "I'll never leave your pizza burning," "There's a bathroom on the right," and "Scuse me while I kiss this guy."

Don't forget "Got along with Starbucks lovers."

I always heard it as "Get along with my ex-lovers". Anyway, don't we have a thread for mondegreens?

Two, actually.

Sorry, didn't mean to derail things here.

Eh, it was probably my fault.

Let's get this back on track...

My brother and I thought Luigi was a girl. Kinda became Hilarious in Hindsight now with the whole "Mama Luigi" thing.

On a related note, I thought that Toads who turned evil became Goombas.

I thought Toad was a baby and he was wearing a diaper.

I thought couples in movies slept in their underwear. Didn't know about the Modesty Bedsheet back then.

I also thought that plants had factories in their leaves. This was because of a diagram about photosynthesis in a kid's science book.

edited 16th Nov '15 10:31:01 PM by TroperNo9001

When I was a kid, my parents told me that water from the toilet went to a purification plant to be cleaned. Back then, I didn't know that the word 'plant' had any meaning other than a leafy green thing that grows in the wild, so I thought that there was a small tree growing inside every toilet that absorbed unclean stuff as a result. I quickly found out that this was untrue, however.

When I was really really young used to think that eating seeds would kill me because said seeds would bloom in my stomach.

You can blame Rugrats for that one.

edited 20th Nov '15 7:30:49 PM by Bleddyn

But I ain't never seen no plant grow out of no toilet!

(Uggh, the grammar of what I just typed killed one of my brain cells...)

I thought, if you didn't have good enough grades to graduate in your senior year, they wouldn't tell you until graduation; you'd walk up with the rest of your class, thinking you're home free, only to have your diploma suddenly refused in front of everyone.

I don't know where I first got that idea, but I guess I always thought people were just that sadistic, so it wouldn't have surprised me. Honestly, it still wouldn't surprise me.

I thought in the military peoplewore different color uniforms depending on their rank

edited 21st Nov '15 5:30:15 PM by Bootlebat

There was this Peanuts special where Charlie Brown gave an oral report on the First Transcontinental Railroad. In one of the historical pictures of the rail bridges they showed, I thought it looked like the track was on the side.

edited 23rd Nov '15 5:03:05 PM by Demetrios

I thought seasons of a TV show corresponded with the seasons of the year.

When I was really little, I thought the United Kingdom was in South America. I think my logic was "the U.S. is in North America, kingdom is the opposite of states, south is the opposite of north, therefore the UK is in South America!"

In a similar vein to the post above, I thought Egypt was at the top of the earth, like where the Artic is. My reasoning was that since the sun is above us, the closer you are to the top of the earth, the closer you are to the sun and the warmer you are.

Learning about the equator kind of shattered this theory for me.

When I was around seven or eight, I was convinced that there was a secret group of people hiding in a bunker somewhere who hated the concept of war so much that they would destroy the whole planet with a giant space laser if anyone so much as fired a gun.

I think one of my teachers tried to explain the idea of Mutually Assured Destruction but oversimplified a few details.