Feedback on my work pages:

So, hello everyone, you probably don't know me but I am an independant video games creator. T Vtropes already had an article about one of my games: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/NintendoNightmare so I decided to enhance it by creating an article about myself https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Creator/AdrienDittrick and about another one of my games https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/VideoGame/EscapeFromLavenderTown .

I will be building the list slowly, but I'd like to be sure that I'm doing everything right. Please tell me if there are some blatantly forbidden things in the actions I have taken (for instance, indexing my articles) because when I check the "recently added" list, I see huge red messages (NEW ACCOUNT) near everything I wrote :)

Thanks again for the help and advice, I hope I don't destroy anything in the process!

Retitled and moved to a better forum. I'll have to take a peek later.

Thank you! That's a good start i guess :) Still getting use to the whole capital letters formatting.

Looking over the pages, an excess in spoiler tagging and some Zero Context Examples are the worst things I see.

Oh which zero-contest example? I missed that.

Also the game in question Escape From Lavender Town is all about the reveal, so spoilers are important. I can remove some tho.

edited 5th Nov '14 12:36:05 AM by supmaster004

By the way, the Nintendo nightmare article was not written by me, all i did was add a link to my creator page Adrien Dittrick, I didn't change anything else in it. but I can probably bring some changes to it if necessary.

edited 5th Nov '14 12:34:43 AM by supmaster004

• The best way to avoid an excess of spoiler tags is to find ways to talk around the spoilers.
• The Lavender Town page is a wee bit stubbly, but I think it should be okay. You may want to flesh out the description and/or dig out some more trope examples.

I'm going to go through and give all three the Grammar Nazi treatment. I'll also see if I can find a way to flesh out ZCEs or remove spoiler tags. I'll be very careful as I'm not actually familiar with the games.

Also—do you go by Adrien Dittrick in game design? You don't use an alias or a mock "company" name? Just curious.

Finished with Lavender Town.

• Content Warnings is the only ZCE I found that I couldn't easily expand, so I commented it out. My suggestion is to just say what the content warning(s) is/are. Is it a serious Content Warning, a la "This game has flashing lights and might give you seizures" or is it a meta one, like "This game will query stuff in your computer settings, don't worry, it's not actually messing with anything," or is it purely in-universe/joking, like "WARNING: This game is fucking TERRIFYING"? As long as it's not a spoiler, just explain what the warning is.
• I trimmed down the spoilers. I de-spoilered the Subliminal Seduction example because it didn't really seem like a spoiler, but again, I'm not familiar with the game, so if you really think it's a spoiler, feel free to re-spoiler it. The others I just tried to talk around, so that they didn't need to be spoilered.
• I added an Exact Words example based on what I can tell about the game.

I recommend looking for more tropes for this one. Moving on to Nintendo Nightmare now.

EDIT: Done with Nintendo Nightmare.

• I changed the Big Bad example to read "Bill Gates, until you meet The Man Behind the Man." The reason for this is simple: I removed the developer's name (and the fact that it's the developer) to avoid spoiling too much, but the fact is, there's no good way to mention the fact that Bill Gates is not the final boss without spoiling something. Putting The Man Behind the Man in spoiler tags would be pointless, because you're already putting spoiler tags right next to the character named as the Big Bad. That's a pretty obvious indication that there's a Bigger Bad or The Man Behind the Man or a related trope. Thus, I left it unspoilered. Really, there are only two good options: You can leave it out completely, and just list Bill Gates as the Big Bad, which isn't quite accurate; or you can include literally anything else and spoil the fact that he's not. At this point it's just damage control.
• I commented out a number of ZCEs. To expand them, you'll need to explain what makes them fit the trope. Putting a character trope like The Chessmaster and then just saying "Eggman" is a ZCE.
• I didn't touch Disguised Hostage Gambit because I have no idea what about the example is and isn't a spoiler. However, I strongly recommend finding a way to talk around the spoilers or at least de-spoiler part of the example, otherwise it's unhelpful. It's bad to have spoilers all over the place. It's terrible to have all-spoiler examples.
• You should standardize how your handle is written: supmaster004 or Supmaster004.
• Changed Tomato in the Mirror to Tomato Surprise, and removed the spoilered text; changed it to read "At the end Mario pops out of nowhere and Reveals that this game is not what you think it is." That should get the point across without a whole spoilered sentence.
• I'm not familiar enough with the game to do anything with Xanatos Gambit, but I strongly recommend rewriting it to talk around as many spoilers as possible, because as it stands, it's a hideous invisible paragraph.

EDIT: Aaaaaaand finished with your creator page. That one wasn't bad, some minor stylistic things that I tidied up. Also, I changed the second paragraph to say that you started developing Nintendo Nightmare in 2007, but depending on when in the year you did it, it might have been 2008, which you'll obviously be better able to clarify. I thought using the year instead of your age was better.

• I suggest ordering the games either chronologically by date of release (with the year of release next to them), or alphabetically. Personally, I'd go chronologically.
• I would not use that image unless it's an avatar that can be readily identified with you (which it may very well be). A logo you apply to all your games, or a photograph of yourself, would be more appropriate.
• Just a reiteration, this page is also inconsistent with whether the "s" in supmaster should be capitalized.

Otherwise your Creator page looks good to me, not many problems and nothing really bad.

edited 5th Nov '14 3:55:30 PM by SolipSchism

Thanks a lot, I'll get on to the cross-wicking

No problem. I would have tried to do more except I'm not familiar with the games. But at least familiarity with Pokemon and Mario helped a bit.

edited 6th Nov '14 10:50:26 AM by SolipSchism