Your Funniest Gaming Stories

So. Oblivion.

There is one particular Oblivion Gate, where you have four large gates surrounding the tower, with their own towers and bridges connecting them to the central tower, and two other towers between them with lower bridges. The idea is that you climb one of the towers with a high bridge and use the controls inside it to open the gates at the bottom, and trudge between the four towers opening gates so you can get to one of the other two towers with the lower bridges, which can get you into the primary tower that you can climb and reach the top.

So, I'm standing on the high bridge after scaling the first tower, looking out across the terrain at one of the lower bridges. I realize that they're not THAT far apart at the doors where they enter the tower. I test my jump to see how solid my Acrobatics skill is at this point, and I'm thinking it's pretty nice.

I look to my friend, who is sitting there watching me, and I tell him, "I have a very bad idea." And then I jump. And it WORKS. I bypass nearly the entire trek doing this. Since then, "a very bad idea" has become a running gag for us whenever we try something Crazy Awesome.

My Tumblr. Currently liveblogging Haruhi Suzumiya and revisiting Danganronpa V3.

One time I was playing Super Smash Bros Melee, and one of my opponents was Peach. As time ran out, I KO'd her, and she went into the foreground instead of the background. When time ran out... well... let's just say I had the most pleasant view up her dress...

Don't Press Your Luck too many times in life. You'll just get whammied.

So, I'm playing Spelunky, the improved version. I trigger a boulder trap, and it rolls to a stop right in front of a shop. The shopkeep is livid, but otherwise unharmed. I decided to stick a bomb to the boulder (yay, sticky bombs), to blow it up and hopefully catch him in the crossfire. The bomb explodes, but I see that he didn't immediately die, so I throw another bomb in panic. Then I learn that boulders are bomb-proof, and it was propelled into the shop, squashing the shopkeep and everything he had into a fine paste. It bounces off the wall and heads back at me, and I barely manage to dodge it. Then I notice that the second bomb stuck to the boulder. It blows up, sending the boulder straight back at me, and I'm crushed.

Anyone who assigns themselves loads of character tropes is someone to be worried about.

GTA IV: I was riding in a cab, trying to get the "It'll Cost Ya" achievement. We pulled up at a toll booth and waited. And waited. And waited. I switched view and saw that there was a car turned sideways holding up the line. So I told the driver to hurry the trip. So he blew through the other lane's gate, giving ME a wanted star (the fuck? What'd I do? The driver's the one who broke the law). So now I'm yelling at the screen telling the driver to "driver faster, asshole! I'm not going to jail for you breaking the law!" (as if the driver can hear me). He did.

Not quite a funny story per se, but it was pretty hilarious watching my two friends attempt to play New Super Mario Bros U (while I was using the tablet for Boost Mode). They sucked so badly*

that it was as if they'd never played a Mario game, or even just any video game in general, before. (Though, to be fair, they seem to mostly play shooters like CoD, so perhaps they aren't familiar with how Mario plays...but it's not like it's hard to catch on if you already play video games at all.) Eventually, I just stopped trying to help them and ended up just screwing around with them by putting platforms in places to mess them up

edited 16th Aug '13 8:49:49 PM by 0dd1

Insert witty and clever quip here. My page, as the database hates my handle.

I could go on and on about my Skyrim experiences.

For example, during the Dark Brotherhood questline, I witnessed a Dragon try to take on a Giant. The Giant won in a curbstomp battle.

So I thought, free Dragon Soul!

At what cost?

The Giant making me shit my pants as it started chasing me for bloody ages without warning.

I began playing Red Dead Redemption today. During "A Frenchman, a Welshman, and an Irishman", I'd just taken care of some goons, and was circling around a shack when, just as it was off-camera, another goon popped out of the back door and caught me off guard.

Or at least he would have, if he hadn't blurted out "Didn't see me, did you?".

He was wielding a double-barreled shotgun, but I shot him so fast I don't think he even had time to hit me with it once.

I failed "The Sport of Kings and Liars" almost as soon as it started due to a mountain lion killing my horse before I could so much as get on it. IIRC it either killed me too, or another one killed me while I was trying to follow West Dickens on foot.

The second time I came across a "save somebody from being lynched" sidequest, I went in guns a-blazing only to realize too late that the guy I had auto-locked on to and started shooting was the guy they were trying to hang. Cue -50 Honor. Wah wah.

Fallout 3.

So I'd just finished "Those!" and was wandering around. I saw a non-fire breathing ant. Still not totally finished with my ant murder spree (I don't like ants. Not just in the game, I don't like them in real life) I liquefied it.

As I was celebrating my victory I lost a chunk of health. Spinning around I saw a freakin' Yao Guai attacking me.

The goddamn ant was just a decoy!

However, the mutant bear was no match for a plasma rifle.

The AI in Spectromancer is one of the best I've seen in any Flash game. Whereas 99% of Flash game A.I.s are simple scripts responding in preprogrammed ways to specific stimuli, the Spectromancer AI seems to make use of heuristics in planning out its moves. I've seen it do some brilliant things once in a while.

On the other hand, it also sometimes does some stupid things. For instance, it has a habit of summoning the timeweaver and then passing on the extra turn, or summoning the spectral mage onto an empty battlefield. It also seems to have very little ability to predict what card you're about to play, which makes it susceptible to stone rain and (to a lesser extent) armageddon. Also, it is reluctant to play forest cards at all, and will often let its forest power grow very high while summoning small elemental creatures against your superior army.

And then there are occasions when it does godawfully stupid things. Like using blood ritual when you have only ice golems on the battlefield.

Or killing itself instantly by casting a sweep that hits your reflection wall.

Or casting chaos wave when the only creatures in play are your 1 ice golem and 1 immortal phoenix...or when there are no creatures in play at all.

Or using rescue operation on your creatures. Especially when you have 6 creatures out. And the targeted creature is an astral guard. And the rescue operation literally saved its life.

Join my forum game!

This one is mostly funny because of the dialogue, but in Rayman Legends me and my brother were doing one of the Invaded levels (he was already dead). For context, Invaded levels take a segment from a level, change things up, and make you speedrun it. To get all three Teensies, you need to beat the level in under 40 seconds, then another Teensy is lost every 10 seconds. I just barely missed the goal, and because of that we lost the first Teensy.

Me: "Crap. Might as well kill myself."

Brother: "No, save the Lums."

Me: "But those aren't Lums."

Brother: "No! You GET Lums for saving them!"

Me: "But they aren't called Lums."

This went back and forth for about 20 seconds while I purposefully stood there and let the other Teensies get launched away. Co-op Platformers are good for moments like this.

🏳️‍⚧️she/her | Vio Rhyse Alberia

So I was playing the Battle Maison in Pokemon XY. The game pits me against a defensively built Umbreon. I only have a defensively built Skarmory left.

What followed was a ridiculously long slogfest between two walls that both just refused to die, until Umbreon finally ran out of PP and struggled itself to death.

I'd like to thank you for this story.

See, I recently got Skyrim (I was waiting for Legendary Edition... and the money to buy Legendary Edition). The 2nd dragon I saw (just outside Whiterun about 10 minutes after I fought the first one) ended up landing about 100 yards away (I may've been new to the game, but I knew they tended to land closer. And also attacked from the air a bit too). I ran up and saw that it was in a fight with a giant. Remembering your story (though, I thought I read it in a Cracked comment. Though, there may've been a comment with a similar story) I went into sneak mode and watched from a safe distance. When the giant won I ran up, absorbed the soul, and went back into sneak. Luckily the giant was busy wandering off in the other direction and didn't notice me.

Speaking of dragons, I have another tale.

Outside of Windhelm a dragon attacked. I managed to get it to the ground and began my attack when, out of the corner of my eye, I saw an unlikely hero. A goat had decided to join in my slaying of the beast. Unfortunately, the dragon killed it. However, my caprid friend's distraction gave me an opening to attack and let me win (granted, I could've won anyway, but I want to pretend the goat's sacrifice had a purpose).

So thank you, Billy the Goat Warrior, your valiant act of bravery was inspiring.

The only one I can think of off the top of my head was the first time I was played MGS4 and got to the gekko gauntlet. I'm terrible at FPSes in general, so it was taking me For. Ev. Er. FOR. EV. ER.

I finally got through it about two or three hours later when a gekko kicked me across the finish line. Snake was yelling out his death scream. I broke down in hysterical laughter before I realized the game counted it as a completion.

And then I got a stiff drink.

edited 6th Jan '14 8:40:37 PM by Bur

i. hear. a. sound.

Playing heroic deathmatch on LOTR Conquest with my friend. I'm good and he is evil. So he is the witchking (or nazgul, or lurtz, I can't really remember) and has nearly killed faramir, explaining that he's bitch to fight. Cue me running in as Gandalf, healing faramir back to full health and then running away again to fling some fireballs in the face of EVIL.

edited 7th Jan '14 8:04:32 AM by Squeakythemaster

I don't remember anything really special happens in my games, aside maybe from my ssmb game.

My familly gave it to my little brother and I didn't play it for long, but when I finally got too and selected the "random" option for the map, I realised it would only let me play the two same maps unless I chose them.

It may sound stupid, but I'm actually scared of that kirby level with that tree now. I tried to start over and over and over, but the game really, and I mean REALLY wanted me to play on that one, either that or another one I don't remember

There's actually an option in the game to selectively disable certain stages for random, you know. If your brother disabled it on every stage except that one, random will always pick it.

Extra 1: Poochy Ain't Stupid

One time, many years ago, I was playing Pokémon Stadium at a family gathering with some of my younger cousins. I played Pokémon, too, so I brought my Blue and Silver cartridges and my Game Boy. This allowed me to use my own Pokémon.

Eventually, we decided to set up a match with me using my usual team and one of the kids borrowing Pokémon from my cartridge's PC boxes. No one present really cared about winning, and we had no concept of a metagame. I had a Kadabra on my main team that knew Metronome, for crying out loud. They were happy to be able to use actual Pokemon other than the rentals, to the point where my opponent was willing to pick a Magikarp from my PC boxes to use.

So, the battle began, with my mighty Kadabra squaring off against the pathetic Magikarp. "This should be easy!" I thought. Here's how it went.

Everyone in the room just busted out laughing! We were content to just let my Kadabra-Karp splash around for a few turns because we were too shocked to do anything else.

edited 9th Jan '14 8:26:27 PM by Lightblade

The Living Guildpact rules that coffee is an acceptable substitution for rest as specified in subsection … whatever.

That is AMAZING XD

The Protomen enhanced my life.

I remember making lyrics to the Bowser world songs from Mario 64. All i remember is "Bowserrrr is so stu-u-pid!"

The Protomen enhanced my life.

Let's see;

• In my first run in Final Fantasy 7, when on the dating sequence while doing the play, I got the ending where (in my case) Aries back kicked the dragon.
• Any time my brother and I play together.

We are all made of star stuff. Very, very weird star stuff.

Let's just say trying to get If They Came To Hear Me Beg in Halo Reach, in splitscreen Co-op, with you both trolling each other? Pants-wetting laughter for the next half-hour.

They do have medals for almost, and they're called silver!

In a playthrough of Dragon Quest 9, my party of four consisted of a Minstrel, a Warrior, a Priestess, and a Mage. I was fighting Lleviathan, a giant whale monster for what felt like forever, everyone just hurling their best attacks at it. My Mage runs out of MP for her spells, so I just decided to let her attack once by hitting the monster with her staff before I used a healing item.

Now normally, Mages do about 2 damage using a weapon instead of a spell, but apparently two damage was enough to kill the boss. She killed a freaking whale by smacking it with a wooden stick.

edited 26th Jan '14 3:38:29 PM by ScorpioRat

I've done that before! it's always fun XD

The Protomen enhanced my life.

I spent about an hour on the part where you swing on the ropes under the ship in Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (because I suck at games). When I finally made it to the other side I hit the stick forward too much and Link auto-jumped off, which just added to my rage and multiple reasons why I hate auto-jump. My sister who is actually good at the games laughed hysterically after that happened.

And that is why I don't play Zelda.

A few off the top of my head:

• My sister and I would attempt to do entire mario kart races in reverse. It would've been more fun if Lakitu wasn't being such a little shit.
• While playing Mario Super Sluggers, I accidentally beanballed a Dry Bones, and he fell apart on home plate. To make this more hilarious, he still completed his automatic walk somehow despite none of his body parts being attached.
• A friend and I were playing Cartoon Network Punch Time Explosion (basically Super Smash Bros: Cartoon Network edition) when we came across some laser walls that moved. My friend ran into them and died RIGHT BEFORE the game warned us not to touch them.

I don’t even know anymore.