You know, that speech was so completely and utterly the ultimate form of Manufactured Corporate Declaration it's just plain scary.
No.
With cannon shot and gun blast smash the alien. With laser beam and searing plasma scatter the alien to the stars.The career of whoever greenlit this is toast. Seriously, it's bread on arrival. Honestly, this thing of adapting beloved children's cartoons is so played out, it's as if they aren't even trying to go against the grain. The whole idea idea is just plain crusty. I guess it's unfair to pass judgement on a film before it's out though, so we'll just have to wheat and see.
I'm sorry.
Good news, since they're adding a fucking Iphone to the cast, he can just call the family up and remind them to come back. Adventure cancelled, movie over, roll credits.
"But don't give up hope. Everyone is cured sooner or later. In the end we shall shoot you." - O'Brien, 1984That just seems unkneaded.
Alright, I'm done, Hollywood. Fuck you, fuck your mother, fuck the horse you rode in on, fuck everything; I'm done with you.
what
They do have medals for almost, and they're called silver!But....but we already have Toy Story 3....
True. If any one company has raped more childhoods than the film branch of the Cult of Jobs, I have yet to hear of it.
I stand by with NDC up top. This Waterman guy has somehow managed to personify the Money, Dear Boy Hollywood executive stereotype. To find that someone like this can openly admit to having this mindset without a hint of irony or self-awareness legitimately horrifies me.
Hell, I don't even give a shit about The Brave Little Toaster. I remember liking it, but I really never cared for it. Still, I could just tell from what Waterman thinks the kids "want" that this remake is going to be absolute garbage.
I dunno, maybe having an Iphone as a character is actually a bit of Fridge Brilliance. After all, as soon as Apple releases a new Iphone, people always discard their old one, so maybe this Iphone character is an older model of Iphone who has to deal with the deep-seated rejection and inferiority complex brought on by its inevitable obsolescence, ultimately having to learn to cope with the fact that we all eventually become old and useless. Maybe this film will be an insightful, thought provoking commentary on the nature of consumerism and the "new and improved" culture that permeates the technology world of today. Maybe this film will ultimately make people rethink their purchasing habits while providing a profound moral about loss and acceptance...
...or maybe it's just going to be a lousy cash-in that's just using an Iphone because it's what's cool with the kids these days.
Because the original clown wasn't scary enough.
And now that clown will be in 3D.
i. hear. a. sound.I don't know, most of the villains in these 3D-CGI movies fail completely at being scary. Other than Hopper, Tai Lung, and arguably Syndrome, then we have... Gargamel? The completely bland fossas and the Smug Snake lion in the Madagascar movies (Dubois was a fine villain, but not exactly scary)? The super-gorilla from Megamind? Lord Faarquad and Prince Charming? The midget pheasant from Kung Fu Panda 2? A random bear in Over The Hedge? Prospector Pete (I don't think too highly of Sid or Lotso in terms of public intimidation either)?
Animation movies nowadays don't have, for the most part, the freaky scare factor villains like Maleficent, Judge Doom or the T-Rex from the first Littlefoot movie had.
Modern kid's films' writers generally don't have the skill/balls needed to actively try to freak their audience out. No sense risking scaring away your money supply, right?
(total guesswork I just did there)
Also, to be fair, some of those villains you listed aren't meant to be scary. I know Pete, Lotso, and the Shrek villains are all meant to be more Manipulative Bastards than anything else.
If they keep the original nightmare scene or whatever it was in, they won't have to do anything extra. Just the transition from 2D to 3D will ramp up the nightmare fuel.
I smell a Product Placement bonanza.
I wish it was Pixar doing this.
edited 17th Sep '12 7:55:04 AM by TheBatPencil
And let us pray that come it may (As come it will for a' that)Actually, Minion's a good guy and more like intentional Ugly Cute.
You are displaying abnormally high compulsions to over-analyze works of fiction and media. Diagnosis: TV Tropes Addiction.Well, if we're talking about genuinely intimidating villains in recent animated films, I can name off the top of my head the Other Mother, Rattlesnake Jake and the Green Death. I rather doubt that a film from the creators of Alvin and the Chipmunks is even going to attempt a serious villain, though. It's not exactly part of the formula.
I actually meant Titan, in the "Big Brute Bully" sense of the term "Gorilla." Not Minion.
As I said before, it's not the fact that someone is remaking Brave Little Toaster in CG. Under the right hands (ie: Disney, Dreamworks, Pixar (although they kinda did remake BLT, stora) it could be good.
It's the fact that it's fucking Waterman Studios making this that gets me in a jiffy. That guy has made subpar movies at best (The Stuart Little movies) and terrible dreck at worst (Alvin & the Chipmunks 2 & 3).
That, and the fact that the speech from Waterman just reeks of Product Placement meddling and Completely Missing The Point to the nth degree.
I'm having to learn to pay the price
......
edited 13th Sep '12 1:23:30 PM by dmysta3000