Shit our teachers say.

"Cailou, there's an abortion argument right there."

-Shakespeare Professor

My teacher insists you can't hold a conversation on Twitter.

My music teacher did something that caught our attention to demonstrate sliding and rapidly-changing notes respectively; he flawlessly recreated Mario's jumping and coin collecting sounds on his guitar.

One superintendent: "Are you Knightof NASA's sister, because you look just like her and also likes NASA."

For context I haven't been in that school for three years.

My healh teacher is Famous for sprouting hiliarious sayings like Mr.Bla Bla Bla's password is I hate KIDS!!

I'm a student aid for the physics teacher who makes Mad Max references. He made freshmen (first year high school students, so like 14-15 year olds) watch a scene from Thunderdome before they played a game of two people against each other.

He also made me make posters with cute cartoon characters with equations on them. He wanted Gengar on one, since it's his favorite Pokemon.

Teacher: "Now, the epsilon theta proof is this..." (ε δ)

Someone else: "What's that letter?"

Me: "Delta (δ)"

Teacher: "No actually it is theta."

I'll get back to you guys after school Tuesday if any of my teachers say something notable.

Once our music teacher (very calm, quiet man. Seemed always half-asleep. Only time he seemed actually awake and alert was when he was playing guitar) watched us struggle through a very easy set of chords....and then picked up his guitar, put it behind his head, and blitzed the song in a much more complicated fashion.

Dammit silent snarker music teacher.

Not so much say, but I swear my biology teacher at the moment either has personally had or has someone in her close family who has had every single disease she's brought up. She's had skin cancer recently removed, she had gallbladder stones, this uncle has colon cancer, this aunt had lyme disease from a tick bite two decades ago and is now demented, and apparently she even had a small brain tumor at some point in her twenties. Jesus.

This is a French lecture that happened at my university. Keep in mind that each and every lecture had the sound recorded and put up on the uni website so students who missed a lecture wouldn't miss anything.

Teacher: -is trying to make the DVD work. It has just restarted and then closed for the fifth time- Oh, for the love of....how do I get to the next menu?

Us: Mouse down....no, too far, go back, okay go right...YOUR OTHER RIGHT

Teacher: -closes window by accident- ARGH, OH FU-........-goes to the board and writes on it a rather FILTHY set of french swearing- There, that. .....Wanna see how you'd say all that if you were in Quebec?

edited 2nd Nov '15 3:40:33 AM by Murataku

AFAIK swearing in Quebec is not exactly "filthy"... it's more along the lines of "tabernacle !" That's how the stereotype goes anyway...

I think he was gonna tell us what the equivalent severity might be...He decided against telling us anything more (probably because the lesson was being recorded) and went back to trying to master the DVD player

My high school physics teacher noticed that someone wrote a message on his chalkboard. The message was "Dan likes men" - and he played along. I don't remember the dialogue though, but there were no serious repercussions.

My music teacher:

"Avant-Garde [misspelled Avant-Guard on the board behind him] is a word you need to know."

"Oh, wait, did I say orgy? Shit. I meant ogre."

- My history teacher

edited 1st Dec '15 5:43:30 AM by Tonsillectomy

edited 1st Dec '15 12:28:50 PM by valozzy

Math teacher: "I turned down a job at NASA, because what am I, normal? No! I am crazy!"

This teacher also went out of their way to insult other students.

English teacher: "Come on, you all better believe in something, if you are not Christian. *beat* Are you all Buddhist or godless pagans? *beat* Heh, Church of NASA, Church of science. As long as you don't add 'ology' to the end of it."

"sometimes I look out the window at all the human gerbils..."

Today in English: 'Snowflake only melt in movies.'

edited 18th Feb '16 10:22:52 PM by KnightofNASA

One of the handful of professors I've had in my computer science and engineering program is, between his strong French-Canadian accent and his stuttering, absolutely intolerable to listen to. I transcribed some stuff he's said during lectures, and seeing it written out is even worse.

I can't imagine going into a profession where literally most of the job is talking when you have a stutter as bad as that.

My teacher said that he would lower the complexity of explanations so much that even I would understand.

Well, at least I am a measure.

Not so much of "shit" but funny nonetheless.

First period: "You are special! Everyone is special! I could throw a rock at any direction in UCLA and hit a class valedictorian. You are just average down there, because everyone is special just like you!"

Fourth period: "You are not special. You are not entitled to anything. Nothing is free and nothing is fair. Grow up."