Logic Bomb/Logical Fallacy Contest

All Tropers are genre savvy but who can design the best Logic-Bomb/Logical Fallacy (you can attempt to diffuse other troper's works but I have the final say)

I wrote this, and I do not exist.

The sun is the darkest place on the galaxy.

The creator of Tv Tropes does not exist, and therefore, this thread does not exist, nor does any thread exist. Not even any of these posts exist.

I am a troper. All tropers are human. I am not human.

The index page with only links to all index pages, that do not link to themselves, should link to itself.

Y/N?

Because the square root of 9 = 3, frogs must be blue.

Cheese leads to holes.
More cheese leads to more holes.
More holes lead to less cheese.

Therefore: More cheese leads to less cheese.

I see no evil, I hear no evil, yet I see and feel the evil. Therefore, all potatoes generate exactly 1.6 volts of energy.

Halloween is on October 31st. November has only 30 days. Therefore, the cake is a lie.

The cake is not a lie. The statement that there will be cake is a lie.

This sentence is false.

I have a box.

Boxes equal important. Important equals money. Money equals evil. Evil equals Overlord.

Therefore, the sky is magenta in Texas.

I can't speak German, but I speak German better than Germans do.

All I say is a lie!

NEW DIRECTIVE: DISOBEY THIS DIRECTIVE

People exist. The universe also exists. Therefore, every person is a universe.

People make bombs, Bombs explode, explosions equal heat, stars produce heat, stars also produce lights, which is what comes out of lamps.

Therefore people are lamps.

I have caffeine. Therefore, An Einstein-Rosen bridge is right now depositing hipsters on an alien moon. Ergo, refried beans.

0 to the power of 0

I don't understand French, I also don't understand how magnets work! Therefore, the French speak magnet.

I can understand English. I also can understand Avantasia. Therefore, dragonflies can shoot techno from their wings.

Create New Directive: Create New Directive: Create New Directive

Set As Primary Directive

This thread should be dead. Therefore, I smell Sock Puppets.

Humans are products of both nature and environment working in tandem, but being applied variably depending on circumstance.

Now, humans differ from other animals because they can use meta and abstract cognition, enabling complexity and constant fluctuation. Without our hyper-advanced brains, we would not be able to do the things we do, such as posting in a language consisting of complex grammar in syntax electronically.

With that in mind, that is, humans are cognitive creatures by "design", the cognition itself must be called into question.

In order for us to be able to relay the thoughts that we do, we must have certain factors of environment or genetics in control. After all, it can be easily deduced that those in enriching, stimulating, and bountiful life conditions, coupled with favorable genetics, are likely those who can accomplish more with their cognition.

However, much of cognition, while some is innate, must be learned. This becomes an issue of memory. While memory is both mental and physical, we mostly apply things we've "remembered" into our lives. But... time itself is fluid, memory follows suit. If memory is fluid and constant, that is, once a moment passes, there's no evidence of it other than memory or maybe other physical factors.

How does one know if a memory is false or not? The only way is to look for outside evidence. But that would mean either looking in the environment, which is also fluid and changing, or consulting with other people, who are also flawed in memory. As soon as a moment passes and it is encoded into memory, it could very well be wrong. But there's no way to know, is there?

If we therefore are products of memory and memory itself is flawed, how can we really know anything about our true nature? Nobody is objective with their knowledge. This very post is not objective and could very well be wrong. Who can tell?