Frodog
I think with action scenes in writing, less is more. Scenes of people being hurt and things flying really doesn't advance the plot nor does it develop character. You should generally have in mind what the outcome of the action scene's going to be - are there going to be injuries or causalities, for instance? Then use the action scene to set up for those outcomes, while focusing strictly on how the action is impacting your viewpoint character.
If all else fails, read a favorite book that uses action scenes. Tolkien, who I don't really like in general, is good at writing battles without getting bogged down in minutiae.
The Electric Eccentric
A few things I've heard from others, as well as things I've used in practice (hopefully to positive effect):
- Make sure the reader will be able to understand the area — spacing, environmental details, things like that.
- Keep it brisk and snappy. Don't over-describe every blow (though you'll likely want to describe it a bit).
- Make the actions of the characters fit with their ability set/standards. A boxer isn't going to try and go for a butterfly kick anytime soon...though that would be kind of cool.
- Make sure everything doesn't run together. I try to give two battlers a little breather here and there before they start trading blows; maybe they need to lick their wounds for a minute, or they're analyzing the enemy's tactics.
That's all I can think of right now. Really, you just have to give it a try and see what works best. Experiment, if you will. Just remember: if it's not comprehensible to you, it probably won't be for others.
Hope that helps you out, my troper comrade.
My Wattpad — A haven for delightful degeneracy
watching down on us
Read Snow Crash.
-vanishes in a puff of Viking-related references-
Banned entirely for telling FE that he was being rude and not contributing to the discussion. I shall watch down from the goon heavens.
I only done a few, mostly recently with Manifestation Files. I mostly come up with them on the spot, even though I shouldn't. I still don't know exact Finn's fighting style, if he has one.
Usually, I ramp up the pacing. I discard most of the complex sentences, and try harder finding those powerful verbs.
The Puzzler
EMOTIONS are important.
Has ADD, plays World of Tanks, thinks up crazy ideas like children making spaceships for Hitler. Occasionally writes them down.
If you're looking for present-day action scenes with gunfights and car chases, Matthew Reilly is basically the literary Michael Bay, but with better plots.
Although you do want to usually avoid over-describing stuff, doing so can create an effect similar to slow-mo, at least for me. For example, compare "The explosion flipped the car over." with "The explosion lifted the car into the air, filling the air with metal shards as it spun. It landed with a crash on its roof, and broken glass flew everywhere."
Aside from that, what everyone else said.
Detail, detail, detail. The more important the action scene to the plot, the more detail it gets. That's how I roll.
It's not Purple Prose either, the wording is remarkably simple yet tells a great many things.
Hmm... Yeah, I have been thinking of going with a minimalist route, with emotions as the main thing.
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Could you give me an excerpt, Tom? Just a little one to see what you can do.
Anyway, thanks, Tropers.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
This section is a tad character driven yet is important to the plot in a subtle way.
Note: I am presently undergoing editing of all my chapters, beyond Chapter 8 or so, it's mostly going to be expanding details, clearing sentence structure and wording, and adding a few things I thought of that would add to the scene in question. The passage below will likely change but it'll probably just be sentence structure/wording fixes and stuff like that. (It is near the point where I first started perfecting my style.)
“Come Tenchi! Do try to best my defenses this time!” Mathias said striking at Tenchi with his katana.
Tenchi readied his twin kodachi and parried the attack locking swords opposite Mathias the singing of their blades piercing the air around them.
“You really think you are better than me? Have you learned nothing from Master’s training?” He said striking back again with both blades. Mat pivoted on his left foot and took a step back dodging the attack outright.
“Come now! You fight like a dairy farmer!”
“How appropriate Mathias. You fight like a cow!”
Mathias took another step back off his left foot and readied his katana in defense as Tenchi closed his eyes and bowed his head down as he crossed his kodachi before launching in a diagonal cut, his left blade leading ahead of his right. Mat took another step back with his right foot before knocking away the first blade from his left side to right and in less than a second deflected the other. Tenchi immediately recovered control of his left blade and attacked again prompting Mat to look to his defenses deflecting attack after attack while continuing to step backwards. The door behind Mat opened behind him automatically as he retreated from Tenchi’s flurry of strikes into the hallway. Tenchi then stepped through the doorway again ready to face Mat. Running a quick two steps, Tenchi raised his blades high and struck downward catching the edge of Mat’s parry. Mat let go of his right hand off the hilt and tapped the rear of the blade near the tip with it, knocking Tenchi’s attack off balance. Tenchi himself took two steps backward down the hallway to Mat’s left and reasserted his balance just as Mat counterattacked. Dodging to the right Tenchi continued a few more steps behind before striking with his left blade. Dodging back and narrowly averting having his white exercise shirt cut to ribbons Mat counterattacked again and again as Tenchi deflected and dodged. By now a large crowd of fellow soldiers had gathered and were watching the two in their duel, keeping silent as the clangs of metal and singing of blades filled the hallway with their clamor. The two neared a junction in the hall as Mat deflected another diagonal cut from Tenchi. Readying his stance again he launched into a light stab. Tenchi stepped back to dodge and immediately countered locking his right blade above and his left below Mat’s. Mat’s face changed to curiosity as Tenchi quickly pressed his right blade down and the left blade up. The resulting motion dislodged Mat’s katana from his hands and it spun down to the ground clanging as it hit. A quick kick followed less than a second later and knocked Mat back a few steps before he dropped to one knee. Tenchi crossed his swords in a scissors motion around Mat’s head. Mat could only look on in stubborn anger.
“Any last words Mat?” Tenchi said holding control over the scene as the large crowd of soldiers watched in awe.
“Yeah… When the hell are you going to teach me that?” Mat replied.
“Simple, when you stop leaving yourself open to it.” Tenchi said putting away his blades as a round of applause broke out amongst the crowd. He extended his hand to help Mat back up.
Mat grabbed Tenchi’s hand and picked himself up and then picked up his katana before putting it away into the sheath on his belt.
“By the way, what’s with these guys?” Mat said noting the crowd and light remaining applause.
“Good show mate!” One soldier could be heard saying throughout the crowd.
“I shoulda brought popcorn if I was gonna see this!” Another could be heard.
“They think we were putting on a show?” Mat whispered to Tenchi as the crowd began to clear.
“I don’t even want to think how that sort of thinking came around. Maybe we should humor them and say they ruined the shot.” Tenchi whispered back in a low voice.
“Excuse me! Coming through!” a voice could be heard amongst the dispersing crowd as Daniel emerged from behind several soldiers and approached the two.
“What’s up Dan?” Mat asked.
“A movie, but that’s not important right now.” He said. “We’re needed at the command center in a bit. Jameson’s got something concerning the upcoming offensive.”
Here's an except from my own story. I'm not sure if it's good enough, but it's an action scene:
I noticed that Finn had his flashlight out. The light beam parted the mist, clearing the way in front of us. The Wisp shivered away, scared of the light. My psychic radar was getting mustier and mustier. I could only sense the lethal Manifestation through a swamp of feedback. As I noticed the darkness around me, with the seemly darkened lampposts, paranoia seeped into my mind. A pinch of uncertainty planted itself into my soul. The monster could jump right through the mist at a high speed, and we wouldn't noticed until it's too—
"SCREE!"
A giant spider jumped from a rooftop and pounced across the street right towards us. I turned my body towards it as it hit the ground, pushing all the Wisps away like dust. It screeched again, unsteadying my mind. The shadowy spirit had a purple outline, resembling a trail of a thousand ants crawling on its skin.
"Phobia!" Finn cast a psychic force field in front of us. The Manifestation jutted its jaws at the barrier, producing a giant crack.
Around us, nobody even have a glance at us or the spider. It's like we're in another dimension. "Basically." Finn said, putting up another barrier. "We're in between the physical plane and the psychic plane. Anyone who looks this direction won't notice us—"
The spider Phobia broke through the first barrier, and poked two holes through the second. I attempted to muster my powers. My fingertips tingled with psychic sparks.
Finn shook his legs to loosen the tension in them. He handed the flashlight to me. "I'm going to flake it. Distract the Manifestation."
Really?
With unnatural speed, Finn curved around the Phobia. The shield broke and it jumped at me. I yelped as I sidestepped it. I pumped my powers into my brain, to enhance my reflexes and rev up my processing speed.
The world slowed down as my mind kicked into hyper drive. I saw Finn's ankles bending as he skidded on the asphalt. The spider's skin shimmed as it slid on the ground, setting its hind legs on the yellowed grass. I flicked the flashlight at its eyes.
The Phobia cowered and jerked its body at me. Its aura flared. Finn prepared a psychic beam to aim right at his target's head.
With a cry, the spider shot out black string from its abdomen. Instead of going in a straight line, it curved up into the air and homed in at Finn.
Finn's attack fizzled and disappeared as a small puff. He dodged the string, but stumbled onto the ground. He landed prone on his bottom. His hyperventilation showed. He began to stand up. With deep breaths, he raised both arms to block the string.
Good time to be clumsy, Finn.
In the spur of the moment, I lunged at the Phobia and swung the flashlight at its head. The bulb made contact, denting its soft skin. It rocked to the side, disorientated.
I regained my footing. The string jabbed right through the ground in front of Finn.
He backed away, both palms extended out. A ball of psychic energy manifested within seconds. He then pushed it right at the monster's head.
The Phobia had no time to react. The psychic ball slammed right through its head like a cannonball. The Manifestation combusted, flaring up like purple hellfire. The remains dripped to the ground, and decayed into a foamy puddle. It then vanished.
So, a few things that are demonstrated here. Short paragraphs (although I usually have short ones pretty much everywhere in my writing), short simple sentences, more action verbs than passive verbs, etc.
edited 1st Jul '11 7:08:42 PM by chihuahua0
The Electric Eccentric
A few other things I've thought of since my earlier post:
- If you're showing action by the truckload, make certain scenes stick out — a poignant, freeze-frame sort of moment that makes the whole thing worth remembering. If you've got two boxers going at it, then a Cross Counter would be one way to take it, for example. From my works, I've had the hero Impaled with Extreme Prejudice, and had his body highlighted by the moon in the background.
- Have the action scenes tell something that normal scenes can't. A character might reveal his true colors in the midst of a tight moment; Joe the boxer, despite being an idiot outside the ring, might be an analytic genius inside it. Alternatively, the mild-mannered nerd thrown into a street brawl might turn into The Berserker.
So basically, don't be afraid of action scenes. Make them work for you, and unleash their full potential.
My Wattpad — A haven for delightful degeneracyThanks. I suppose that Action scenes have always been my great "fear" every time I write. I suppose, I could just give it a shot. Maybe I will update if something comes up. Once again, thanks guys.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
i go for short and to the point. but then, i write in beige prose anyway. describe actions as fluently and as beigely as you can, and leave the talking till either before or after the action scene, since this format of writing action scenes doesn't seem to support Talking Is a Free Action all that well.
alternatively, i could just name the actions. like theres a character who knows taikwondo. but, that sounds horrible. even if, after looking it up i feel the somewhat strong compulsion to brag about how ive done my research in the story itself.
My works tend to be anime-inspired, but due to my hatred of episodes-long fight scenes peppered doused with banter, flashbacks, and whatnot seen so often in shounen, I attempt to go for an American comic book feel for any action at all. I try to keep them fast-paced to feel almost like real time.
"Jack, you have debauched my sloth."
My advice for action scenes is to have them have a point. One way to do this is some kind of gimmick fight (like a fight in an unusual location, or with unusual weapons, or an odd handicap like being unable to use a usually useable limb). Another way is to have the characters fighting over something.
An accurate depiction
Don't just have verbs. It's important to intersperse some description, strategic analysis if your character is the sort, and most importantly dialogue.
To avoid monotony, I strongly encourage varying sentence and paragraph length.
This is this.
I changed accounts.
Generalities can help. If it's large-scale combat (i.e. war, my favorite kind of action), don't get too bogged down in the specifics (numbers, types of vehicles, whatever) so much as the detail and spirit of the combat itself (when, where, what, who, why, how).
"Seventy-five Sherman tanks blew past the battalion of soldiers as they took positions, while Mustangs flew overhead and the ships shelled the shore from..." < — No
"Bullets hummed in the air as he slid up to a sandbag. He watched as the tanks rolled over the hill, firing their main guns in unison. He felt the ground below him shake with the impact of shells, and turned to watch ship-based artillery fall off to the left. He raised his rifle, firing off rounds at the enemy, even as the rest of his unit joined him at his position..." < — Ok... It's not great, but it will do.
For the record, despite that being some kind of World War Two example, it's not from any battle or anything. I just made it up.
I am now known as Flyboy.
Another Perfect Day
Speed, speed, speed. You want the scene to read quickly. I don't think there's ever been a (deliberately) slow action scene in history. Short snappy sentences and phrases that flow off the tongue. Adding more detail can create a slo-mo effect, as said before; use that sparingly to maximize the impact of important events.
I can't think of a good way to describe how I write action other than that. I've been told I write good action scenes (personally I think I'm just okay), but I know I'm good at visualizing scenes. That comes from watching tons of action movies; particularly very well-choreographed ones, like John Woo's Hard Boiled.
I've got two guns pointed west and a broken compass.
Fuzzy Orange Doomsayer
I cheat. (My characters talk their way out more often, anyways.)
That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful
More seriously, in a fairly Beige Prose style. Going into too much detail reads like slow-mo. I try and be cinematic about it, but who knows if I succeed at that part.
Oh, I know what you mean, I'm pretty good at visualizing action scenes, in fact, I do that often.
That's what I have been doing lately, and I find that irritating. Not because it's a bad thing to do, but I have many action scenes in mind, and I don't wanna waste them.
Say, what about swordfights? Going beige prose on that seems a little... Weird, don't you think?
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
Maelstrom
I've always used The Chatty Duel scene from The Princess Bride as my go-to example for swordfights.
I write pretty good fanfiction, sometimes.
@Polarity: I avoid sword fights or martial arts battles or anything that involves any kind of expertise, personally. My action scenes are brawls/chase scenes. My heroes tend to run away, throw things, and fight dirty. They're usually not trained, just trying to survive. I recommend research if you want to go into a detailed swordfight, and minimalism if you want to avoid reserach. ("The clang of metal hung in the air as X and Y hacked at each other", or someting like that.)
edited 2nd Jul '11 4:37:27 PM by OnTheOtherHandle
"War doesn't prove who's right, only who's left." "Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future."
If you want to convey the urgency of the action, describing every move in detail is the last thing you want to do. No one really cares if you know the minutiae of 4th century combat in Asia and Europe, it's bogging down the story with unnecessary bullshit and interrupting the flow of the scene.
edited 2nd Jul '11 4:46:12 PM by kashchei
And better than thy stroke; why swellest thou then?
As I write my little project, I noticed something: I tend to avoid action scenes mostly because, well, I don't know how to write them. Do you my esteemed tropers, have any advice? Because this kinda sucks.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.