Lo, I hath been frozen at this day!
I now go by Graf von Tirol.
A Moses credit card?!
Your army sucks.
Yo Pharaoh, I'm real happy for you, and I'mma let you finish, but this plague is gonna be the deadliest of ALL TIME!
Sorry, I can't hear you from my FLYING METAL BOX!
Calendar enthusiast
Herod ate sugar.
'80s TV Action Hero
I Can Do Haz Child Sakrifice?
'All he needs is for somebody to throw handgrenades at him for the rest of his life...'
God's tears cure cancer. Too bad He has never cried ever.
The only reason He has a big bushy beard is because razors are too scared to approach His face.
Jesus Christ doesn't sleep. He waits. Pretty much all Chuck Norris jokes replaced with Jesus.
Usually here.
I'm on a drug called John of Patmos
. If you take it, you will die, and seven beasts with seven faces with seven mouths will eat you.
THIS SHIP IS NOT YET FINISHED SAILING.
Hoplites. Hoplites EVERYWHERE.
Ironic, huh?
Now Abel kept flocks, and Cain worked the soil. In the course of time Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering to the LORD. And Abel also brought an offering—fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. The LORD looked with favor on Abel and his offering, but on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
"What is't, Cain?" asked Abel.
"I am envious of you," said Cain.
"Then come at me, brother!" cried Abel, flinging his arms aloft.
Dropout w/ bong in hand
And on the third day, the Lord said unto the cats, "Let there be cheezburgers."
So he created cheezburgers, and it was good.
Insert vaguely inspirational quote here.
"To Sheol with you! I am an eater of ants!"
David killed Goliath. IN A FIELD. WITH A SLING!
Teeny hat.
"Halt, didn't you worship many idols in one go?"
"Yes, what of it?"
"That is against the commandments, isn't it?"
"DISREGARD THE COMMANDMENTS I HAVE SIN."
"If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler mustache?" - Yahtzee
Myrrh-infused bosoms or GTFO.
And Jesus said, “Who was it that touched me?”
When all denied it, Peter said,
"Master, if someone tries to touch you in a place or a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that's no good."
Fear me
Look, Canaanites, Canaanites!
Our enemies hide in IRON CHARIOTS the cowards! The fools!
We... -plague of boils- should take away... their IRON CHARIOTS.
JJUDAAAASSSSSSSSS!!!
(Really, is there anything WH 40 K can't be inserted into?)
I was going into the desert, you know, to eat wild bees and honey, when suddenly I was attacked by a fully-armed Roman legion hiding behind a fig tree. How'd a fully armed Roman legion hide behind a fig tree? You'd have to be some kind of tactical genius to...
PAUL OF TARSUUUUUUS!
(Inscribed in letters of fire upon a wall)
Mene Mene Tekel Upsharin
Dropout w/ bong in hand
It's FRI-day! FRI-day! Gotta die for your sins on FRI-day!
Everybody's looking forward to the third day (third day)!
FRI-day! FRI-day! Crucified on FRI-day!
Everybody's looking forward to the third day!
Crucifix, crucifix, YEAH! Crucifix, crucifix, yeah!
Tomb, tomb, tomb, tomb, looking forward to the third day!
edited 23rd Mar '11 4:47:22 AM by YonTroper
Insert vaguely inspirational quote here.
Gotta have my wafer, gotta have the body of Christ
(Because my threads for snowclones always catch on so well)