Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

...that is EVIL.

A schizophrenic temporal house of mirrors. I think I'm gonna hurl from confusion.

A two-card infinite rolfstomp? Wow, that will get you a few death threats.

That's awesome... until the mirror dies due to removal.

I wasn't even planning to get the mirror, it's just that he was still bitter about the time I pulled the combo off in Duels Of The Planeswalkers.

Similar story: If in a game of multiplayer someone plays Hive Mind, the correct response isn't to play Warp World on the next turn "Just Because".

No one wants to shuffle that many times in a single turn.

If MTG counts:

• The infinitely-recurring counterspell deck is banned.
• The "everything dies every turn" deck is banned.
• The "one point of damage takes away every point of your life and gives it to me" deck is banned.

If Yu Gi Oh counts...

• No, every archetype does not need to run Lightning Plover.
  • No, every card does not need to have a hybrid version that just switches out a word for 'Plover' in it.
• I should stop running masochistic decks like Scraps and Amazons so much or people might get suspicious.
• It isn't called Not-Quasar, you dumb idiot.
• Stop trying to make Elemental Mistress Doriado viable. Just leave the dead dead.
  • Same with Spiders.
    • And Level 2 and under Normal Monsters.
      • And pseudo-Yata decks.
        • And Forgotten Temple of the Deep decks.
• I am not allowed to bitch about Power Tool Dragon or Constellar Omega if I'm running Elemental HERO Absolute Zero.
  • Nor am I allowed to name said deck "From HERO to Zero".
• Stop suggesting that Venoms should get an update.
  • Just stop talking about Venoms period.

edited 12th Mar '13 2:13:18 PM by EviIPaladin

If exposition is presented, not allowed to repeat every unknown word.

"Pocahontas but hardcore" does not count as a character concept.

For GURPS: must not put a stack of enhancements on top of a 1-point poison innate attack so that it repeats itself 300 times in rapid fire, hits everything at once, range the size of the known universe, and irresistible.

• I cannot keep the still-beating heart of my enemy to use as a ki focus.
• I do NOT need to burst into song every damn time the party finds a raft.
• I will not remedy my habit of splitting the party by making sure nobody trusts me enough to leave me unsupervised.

(D&D 3.5) Combine the Mount and Traveler's Mount spells to ride over 120 miles a day.

I'm not sure why the DM banned that, since it's not like it's OP or anything. At 5th level, a Wizard gets Phantom Steed anyway, and Teleport/Overland Flight aren't far off.

Similar story: If in a game of multiplayer someone plays Hive Mind, the correct response isn't to play Warp World on the next turn "Just Because".

Obviously, the correct response is to play Scherezade.

edited 15th Mar '13 8:25:26 AM by storyyeller

• Not to combine animal growth, ant haul, and a dire rhino in order to start towing entire castles... or just their walls.
• Likewise, not to become a mammoth lord with the express purpose of building a castle on my temporally-gargantuan mount's back.
• The ten-foot pole won't save you!
• Cannot have an Eildon, leadership, an animal companion, and a horde of summoned minions out simultaneously.
• The monkey-sphere refers to Doyle's number. It does NOT refer to a giant ball made of various primates.
• Even in the legend system, cannot play as Orcus.
  • As a Fire-elemental elementalist, not to gleefully target fireball on myself just to get healing from it.
• My characters are not to waltz around with at least 8 kinds of grenades at once.
  • Partially if he's the magus rather than the alchemist.

• Offering players choices is good as a DM. However, depending on the group, you might be careful what choices you give them. Sometimes, the "join me and together we can rule this miserable kingdom" speech might just lead to our "heroes" deciding the evil overlord isn't so bad.
• Flying mounts are cool, however, they are also easily abused. As such, all Banks now have Anti-Air support.
• Anytime a character needs more then two supplemental source books to be playable, it should be banned outright, if only for the sake of the GM's sanity.
• Anyone who ever speaks the words "what would Batman do" is forever banned from playing a wizard or bard.
• While most carefully planned dungeons could be solved with industrial mining equipment, it's generally frowned upon to make the GM cry.
• Players do not "win" by making the GM quit.
• By the same token, the GM does not win by killing off the entire party.
• If you've never heard of the monster, that's not an invitation to open the monster manual to try and find it.

• The Roman named Marius does not wear a red toga with blue stripes, wear a ring with "M" engraved, a big mustache and used to clean aqueducts.

edited 21st Mar '13 1:46:55 PM by IraTheSquire

Shock damage does not a taser make.

I am not allowed to raise a mercenary company and usurp small nation states.

• May not have a gnome as an animal companion.
  • May not pay a gnome to act like an animal companion.

Well, I know what I'm doing for my next campaign.

You kidding? Depending on the game system that's practically what PC mercenary companies are for. Although it does beg the question And Then What?

edited 23rd Mar '13 2:15:25 PM by Azreal341

When it derails the GM's meticulous story and tears it to shreds they tend to step in and say...no. Just no.

edited 23rd Mar '13 2:17:07 PM by TuefelHundenIV

Try to hold onto the small nation as you realize that a conquering a nation in no way means you're remotely fit to lead it, turning to ever more draconian measures to keep your city-states in line, until a band heroic adventures come along and kill you, because you've turned into an evil overlord, and they either take of the city-states themselves, turning into despots (Because at this point, they're so used to harsh rule that they can't deal with anything else.), or wander off, plunging the area into anarchy and brutal civil war.

For extra fun, make the second company of adventures the party after you've declared the first group only fit for NPC-hood.

edited 23rd Mar '13 2:22:24 PM by DrTentacles

To each his own. By the time you're powerful enough to conquer a nation you might be almost ready to retire the party anyway and that DOES indeed sound like a pretty fun set up for the next party.

What setting/system did this occur in? And you could also leave the previous administration (or parts of it) in power and keeping the revenue flowing to you... with the proper threat of force of course.