The "Could This Story Concept" Work? Thread

Most of us have concerns with little themes we put in our stories, webcomics, V Ns, and video games that we are working on. We have questions on whether or not a scene, premise or idea would appeal to the audience we are showing it to.

So this is the place where we can go to see if this concept would catch on, appeal to a large audience, be funny or fall flat.

So for mine? Dragon Ball Z with a Pink Bishōjo Ghetto and Action Girls.

Hmm. Yes! That can work, provided there's opportunities for school uniform damage.

Here is one of mine—

Dramatine: The near-future zanyness of Snow Crash & Strange Days, with the transcendence of Rah Xephon, group adventures involving wild childs like Stuck, and the cryptology of Cryptonomicon. Throw in the supernatural ghostlyness of The Shining, and the sexually charged nighttime wanderings of Eyes Wide Shut in the blender — with a touch of noir as topping, against a backdrop of an ongoing crime conspiracy involving tainted cheese.

Damn, I can't really describe this..

edited 20th Jan '11 12:17:20 PM by QQQQQ

Sounds interesting, all it needs is a little bit of plotting.

BETA — 20 Minutes into the Future, human modification has revolutionized the world. People are living longer, living better. Mods exist for every purpose imaginable. From practical applications like new limbs and organs to flights of fancy like computer-enhanced eyesight and reflexes to the cosmetic, like LED lights under the skin.

It's in this world that Malcolm Harkness first wakes up. He can remember little, bits snd pieces here and there. A life of peace and happiness. A life so very different from what he wakes up to find. All of his limbs have been replaced with top of the line prosthetics. His skeletal structure is reinforced with a titanium-carbon alloy, his senses heightened, reflexes quickened and a thin layer of subdermal armor runs under his skin. Malcolm Harkness is now the world's most advanced cyborg. And he wants to know why.

Soldiers are chasing him and a million dollar bounty has been issued all around the globe. His only lead is a note, written in his handwriting. It reads, "Pandora did this." From here on out, Malcolm is dedicated to one idea. Finding out who did this to him and making them pay.

edited 20th Jan '11 4:39:29 PM by KSPAM

"And making them pay"

...why? Because they made him a god?

Because soldiers chase him for his godliness, and he needs to find out who put him in this predicament.

...good point. I just thought that he was chased by another reason. like he had some info or something.

And he's kinda pissed about being operated on without his consent, something which is kinda illegal.

Yeah, I didn't think that post through. It's just how cliche-sounding that last line was...

I have a tendency to do that

I have an idea about a space voyage... After failing to recieve communication from a discovery vessel, another ship is sent to investigate the disappearance and, should it come to it, continue the original's mission. After discovery the now abondonned ship, the crew continue forth until they discover that the entirety of their universe is actually an experiment and is literally no bigger than an average living room. The end of the story ends with the majority of the cast dying in an accident shortly afterwards. While this is going on, a lowly engineer aboard the ship is reading one of his cultures most celebrated stories, which echoes the events playing out.

I'm still working out the kinks (like how are they gonna die? or how do they find out?), but thats the sum of it.

After the democratic nation of pseudo-U.S. does numerous horrendous things including but not limited to failing to protect its citizenry, funding murderous terrorists, and even directly killing civilians; a man/woman starts and leads a revolution to end pseudo-U.S.'s democracy and reinstate a monarchy citing that "Look at what the pseudo-American people do when they have democracy. This nation would be far better off being ruled by a benevolent dictator like in days of yore."

Could this man/woman be made into a protagonist?

I tried writing this once but figured that the whole ~killing corrupt congressmen~ part of it would stop it from ever sustaining legality.

See, this is not a good thread for me. I've always been of the opinion that any story concept can work if written in the right way... though some, of course, ar trickier than others.

You bring your concept here, so we can help you with any tweaks or any stuff you think you need help for.

Okay, let me restart this shan't I?

This is a fanfic concept that I have written a little on, and part of the themes (Roman nationalism, national identity of Eastern European communities, and the Cataphracts) are being recycled into my main novel.

Fandom concerned: Strawberry Panic and I Am Skantarios (The second is very much an inspiration rather than a source material.)

Macrosetting: Since the Strawberry Panic world is very ill-defined, I took the liberty to merge/shoehorn this unambiguously modern setting into a Schizo Tech Anachronism Stew Late Middle Age era with the following major characteristics:

• Europe and the Middle East is locked into a Forever War with the Pope calling a crusade once every decade or so against (i) the Muslim "heathens" or (ii) the Orthodox Church.
• Japan's Meiji Reform arrived several centuries early, turning Japan into sort of a Truce Zone and arms dealing depot between the warring European factions. This Truce Zone is controlled by a couple of Mega Corps, out of which Shizuma's father owned one.
• The Byzantine Empire still lingers on despite all odds, although its holdings had been reduced to Northern Anatolia, Constantinople and what is today Romania.

Microsetting: I made a very... forced Hand Wave that the Astraea Hill complex was founded as part of an investment by French nobles into Japan as a quick way to raise high-charm agents to manipulate European politics or provide their perverted nobility with fresh entertainment.

The story begins when the King of Denmark, Harold II the Crusader, a well-known grand crusader who had breached the walls of Jerusalem several times in the name of the Holy Cross, made a proposal to Shizuma's father requesting a marriage alliance with his company, which was the second biggest producer of steel and precision tools in Japan. The king would pay a visit to the Astraea Hills complex and marry Shizuma there.

King Harold was no simple man - he was the son of a Byzantine princess and a Danish royal. Taking a huge influence from his mother, he grew up with a sense of entitlement to the heritage of the Roman Empire of old. His goal was no less than redrawing the political map of Europe to recreate the Imperium Romanum under his leadership. To do so meant to wage war against everyone at some point, and he was willing to play dirty for the coronet of the eagle. And so, everyone except the students at her school realized that this marriage was mainly to secure a huge steelworking agreement that King Harold intended to use for whatever purpose he was planning.

Indeed part of the Papacy was beginning to place suspicion on this enigmatic king, and the more radical members of the cardinal college decided that it might be best for Europe and the Papacy if he was to perish. One of them, the Archbishop of Antwerp, Hans Milcar, decided to take the matter into his own hands. He secretly went to Japan and spent a generous sum of money into recruiting ronins and assassins to get rid of the king when he would come to the country to marry the aforementioned girl.

Meanwhile, needless to say, Nagisa was heartbroken, and spent the weeks leading to the king's arrival hiding from her friends. All of her friends were blind to the danger around them and how the few days to come would be the turning point of the world.

Byzantino-Danish Cataphracts and carnage then ensued.

edited 21st Jan '11 5:38:19 AM by ArgeusthePaladin

I specialize in scifi and fantasy writing,so I've been trying to reinvent the superhero sub genre. Not something easy to do. So,I've been working out the details for writing a superhero book with a unique concept.

Alright,when we look at superheroes,we always see their powers and there universe. But I studied the character of Batman,and I realized the reason people liked him was because of his lack of powers. He operated on human ingenuity and perserverance,and loads of gadgets. This I find is a flaw. Once again,all his gadgets take away from his character,less so than other superheroes,but it was still happening.

So,I decided that I was going to create a universe of superheroes that didn't use unnatural,superhuman powers or loads of gadgets. The heroes were superhuman because they chose to be. They were superhuman because they were the greatest they could be in all facets,mentally,physically,they became superhuman because they were beyond the average human.

Trained extensively in the art of parkour and masters of various martial arts such as Krav Maga and Filipino Kili,these are there powers. Beyond the average human training,their skill is what makes them superheroes. Iron will,focused intellect this hero is a hero without powers,yet with them.

This way,the abilities of the hero won't get in the way of the story. They're human,yet superhuman at the same time. This is also how the villains are as well.

They are all incredible because of their skill,not their powers.

How does this idea sound?

I thought of it because I really wanted something new for the genre. I know some tv shows are close to the idea that less powers are better(The Cape,Heroes),but I want to show that superheroes can exist within our own reality,it just takes time and training. I want to show that the human race already,in a way,is superhuman. Everyday there are people with the training to incapacitate three men in a fight,or jump from building to building and not get killed in the process.

If a normal man can do these things with skill and training,then if focused in the right direction can't someone who is dedicated enough become a superhero?

Once again,this is how everyone is. Very little Applied Phlebotinium used. You won't find magic poisonous green gas or a cross between humans and crocadiles,everyone who is a superhero or supervillain is really skilled in what they do. I want to make it so believable that people might say "This could really work!".

What do you say? For those who don't know what parkour is, Parkour: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM5aYOIbklI

edited 21st Jan '11 6:04:45 AM by TheProffesor

^ *Applause*

That is exactly what turned me off from Western superheroes - they are, in a sense, lucky, spoiled brats who won the lotteries of fate. That approach you are suggesting would remedy that notion quite well.

The only problem I see is that there is a limit to the human body. Without nuclear radiation/spider bites/Green Rocks you are bound to make a generation of superheroes who are not as visually impressive as many readers would like.

Wait a minute...

How is this thread different from the Post Your Concept thread?

The title has more letters in it.

And I guess we're not supposed to offer critical feedback on concepts posted in the other thread (which in turn makes me wonder what the point would be then)

I guess it's the same as "Look at this concept" "cool!"

and this one is,

"Will this concept work?" "Add this to it and it can."

@Argeuth

That is a valid point,but I have been researching this for quite a while. You'd be surprised what the human body is capable of given the right training. The thing is,we never see anyone do it. I can twist it a little,but only as long as it remains believable. It is perfectly reasonable that a man who is an extreme sports master can run from roof top to roof top,using advanced martial arts to shut down crime. He will,of course,be chased by the police since in the real world it's illiegal to be a vigilante. I will try my best to make it mirror the real world yet remain amazing.

He can fight with his car,sneak around,do many of the things you might see Batman doing but using things easier to find,like normal skate boards and motorcycles. I'll find ways to keep the superhero feel.

I wanted to attempt a magical girl story where it gives an in depth look at the heroines, the monsters they are fighting, the Quirky miniboss squad and the Big Bad theya re fighting. Basically, deconstruction of the a typical amgical girl series by looking the characters, the circumstances they are in and how it would play out in the real world.

I always wanted to attempt some Genre Breaking, Tropperific, Indecisicve Parody or Deconstruction of something that looks at the tropes, cliches, idioms and starts looking at them in a humorous manner. I know there are series that do that already but still I always wondered if they could do that in a video game or novel. I had seen it done in Haruhi Suzumiya.

Another concept I thought of is deconstruction of a Loser Is You character ina JRPG game that turns darker as the game goes on, the driving question would be this: what if fictional concepts became real?

@ Pro: The thing is that there is a certain... notion that if you take a character and make him a super-person from the start with defined strengths and weaknesses of the supernatural kind, no one would bat an eyebrow if you make him do badass stuffs as long as you adhere to the rules you made. On the other hand, a normal human is very restricted by the rules of nature and physics, so eyebrows will be raised when you, in an attempt to create awesome, violate a rule of biology or physics, intentionally or otherwise.

In other words, writing a Badass Normal is very subject to arbitrary limitations imposed by nature that cannot be as easily handwaved as supernaturals.

@ GG: That sound... too vague, actually. Care to elaborate more?

Also, I'd be very grateful if anyone could give me their two-cents on my concept posted above. It is just for fun, but I would very appreciate some feedback, as part of the idea is being recycled after all.

@Arg

This may be a little out there for some,but I love a good scifi like this. I'm sure most scifi fans would back it,and the story seems solid enough. May need to adjust a bit,but I would read something like this. But,I would definatly read my history books. People like me can spot inconsistancies easily and too many tends to gum up the plot. For the sections that rely on real historical names and ideas,I would try and make sure I got those well. The rest is to your imagination.

edited 21st Jan '11 11:13:09 PM by TheProffesor

I was pretty sure mine wasn't even scifi...