Post Your Concept

*.* Considering how you read the script a bit, I take that as a very high form of compliment. That always seems to be my schtick, it seems. Crappy concepts, not bad executions.

edited 23rd Jan '11 4:40:21 PM by MrAHR

@ AHR: Was it you who said they had an unlikable protagonist in another thread? 'Cos deja vu xD

I dunno, I usually associate jackass protagonists with comedy, in a serious setting I might get too put off by the character to continue reading.

... I am having trouble imagining your concept as anything other than comedy ^___^;

Lawl, I didn't notice the gender-neutral thing. I suppose I didn't really post much details, so I'll clarify some more. The POV character is going to be an ordinary female human, but other than that looks like everybody's a white and/or Native American male. The Norse monster (who is not effeminate, but doesn't exactly have social skills) is going around fucking shit up, the priest fellow is hired by [mysterious third party] to stop him from fucking shit up, and the protagonist (and her boyfriend) gets tangled up in it. Various other parties have some sort of beef with either the monster or the priest.

Also, all that other stuff about anarchy/freedom vs. law. Indian wars in the background, railroad and land conflicts, etc.

Wish I had that instead of average concepts, worse executions.

Didn't you see District Nine?

edited 23rd Jan '11 4:47:53 PM by juancarlos11

Maybe. There are a couple other people with the concept running around.

But yeah, that's why I have a nice large cast built around the buggerhead. The plot doesn't revolve around him all the time. I mean, even in his introduction, I built up two decoy protagonists just so I would not have to spend any time alone with him.

edited 23rd Jan '11 4:50:57 PM by MrAHR

^^ Yes, and I think District 9 suffered for having such an insufferable douchebag for a protagonist. The first twenty minutes were HELL.

^ I suppose they might make up for his presence, then. I won't know until I read the actual thing I guess .__.

edited 23rd Jan '11 5:13:04 PM by melloncollie

How about The Social Network?

But honestly I can see why you think like that.

Well, I have the first chunk up on fpress, and it's linked to on the second link in my signature. It is in graphic novel format though, so that's a turn off for most.

I hate to ask this but...do you or someone you know live in Japan? Because if the answer is no, do not set it in Japan. If the answer is yes, then ignore this.

But but but I promise to do research :<

Also, where the hell do you get a t-rex, a robot, and ghosts or reanimated dead soldiers in the same room? Is the ark summoning them? Does the kid have some special power? Or is it some macguffin that brought them here in the first place. It just sounds like you're throwing a bunch of funny stuff together without even an Excuse Plot to tie it all together. It might work better as a webcomic or a cartoon short than a story.

Er, yes. They're there to protect Sato until he can find and destroy the Ark.

And on an unrelated note, whatever happened to that whole military story idea you were asking about awhile ago?

Speaking of which...

It's more or less Alternate History World War Two - with modern tech (minus nukes and a few other cases - for example, space travel has been put on hold due to economic problems and yet, there's reliable armor and military HUDs and so on. (Yes, I'm still fleshing it out, but Russia is suffering a Civil War due to Trotsky forming a loyal guard of his own, and China is fully Communist by the time the war breaks out. Also, Japan has a ton more natural resources. Also, some other stuff that really borders on Alien Space Bats).

I was with Jack Mack up until the T-Rex and the Zombies...seems a bit much to me.

You people need to watch more anime and see how much more silly their ideas are. :<

Buddy, I've seen a good deal of anime from Ghost in the Shell to That Which Shall Not Be Spoken Of Ever Again. Even if I didn't, LOLRANDOM by itself does not work as an excuse and the fact that you only see Japan from the context of an anime world and related websites is almost insulting, kind of like when most anime with an American is to put in a cowboy or a girl in a bikini with a stars-and-stripes motif.

So I repeat again: do not set this thing in Japan. In fact, do not write this one at all. If you insist though, write up the first chapter and only put a few named main characters into it, give em some sort of superpowers if it helps, then see how it flows from there without the ghosts and T-rexes and shit.

That Which Shall Not Be Spoken Of Ever Again

Which anime are you talking about?

AHR: Porn? Seriously? I really must be oblivious to these sorts of things, because that was not intended at all. Futurists would be disgusted by porn. Oh, well, rule 34 in action, I guess. BEFORE the 34ied work even exist. What.

As for the Egyptian link, I... quite frankly don't know where you see it, but then again, I have next to zero knowledge of Egypt, so this explain that.

I really want to post my main story concept here. I really do.

But then again, my self-esteem is not all that high, and once pointed out that my idea is offensive/unworkable/may lead to right-winged Polish out to dismember me very slowly, I might choose to abandon ship. Which I honestly do not want to.

I will drop ONE hint though: Tsukihime plus With Fire And Sword and The Alexiad.

edited 23rd Jan '11 10:46:09 PM by ArgeusthePaladin

If you don't have the balls to share your story you don't have the balls to write, finish or publish said story.

That is supposed to be a sarcastic question isn't it?

But I understand where you are coming from. Oh well.

edited 23rd Jan '11 10:48:50 PM by ArgeusthePaladin

Come on, this is the internet. Who cares if your story is bad? Your not betting your life and future on our judgement, right?

edited 23rd Jan '11 10:53:00 PM by OrangeSpider

It's not exactly my future per se. I am at this time writing mostly for the art.

In any case, the premise of my story is absurd enough, and from Doc Haus' conversation with Mack above, can qualify as insulting to some people.

A final litmus test: Would any of you cringe/frown/feel the need to take your fist, ram it into a random creature's stomach and rip out its goddamn spine at the mention of a sentence that contains both "Byzantino-Polish Winged Hussar" and "Japanese schoolgirl" in one breath?

If you're doing it for the art, who cares what other people think.

Buddy, I've seen a good deal of anime from Ghost in the Shell to That Which Shall Not Be Spoken Of Ever Again. Even if I didn't, LOLRANDOM by itself does not work as an excuse and the fact that you only see Japan from the context of an anime world and related websites is almost insulting, kind of like when most anime with an American is to put in a cowboy or a girl in a bikini with a stars-and-stripes motif.

I forgot to mention it's supposed to be a deconstruction of this sort of thing. Like, being a guardian of some MacGuffin that threatens to Earth and having classmates that literally want to kill you isn't really good for your social health or those around you. In fact, Sato's supposed to be a subversion of the typical anime protagonist - he decidedly looks Japanese, possesses no powers, and can't talk his way out of being murdered by a Reality Warper for shit.

So I repeat again: do not set this thing in Japan. In fact, do not write this one at all. If you insist though, write up the first chapter and only put a few named main characters into it, give em some sort of superpowers if it helps, then see how it flows from there without the ghosts and T-rexes and shit.

Already done.

@Juan - Anything from Shaft. Or FLCL

But I do. The ultimate goal of an artist is to create worlds that are worth creating and mercilessly tear apart that which is not worth keeping. If my work is deemed worthless I will tear it down without mercy.

@ Mack: The point is Poe's Law.

Quite a few people will see your work as yet another incoherent rambling of a weaboo and spit on you for that because they take it to be what it is trying to deconstruct.

edited 23rd Jan '11 11:14:16 PM by ArgeusthePaladin

If you're doing it for the art, than whether one person deems it irrelevant does not matter. As long as one person deems it relevant, it is art.

@ AHR: I don't know - frankly speaking, I still care a great deal about what others would think. I hate to be antagonized by a mass of people who'd cry out 'It sucks' in unison.

Oh, and BTW, thanks for your feedback for my excerpt. I rewrote the first chapter - sounds much more promising now.

I actually understand you. I think it was on this very forum that someone said that the more you talk about a story, there's less possibility that you end up finishing it.

But I think I'll try with another fanfic concept. This story now is in my hard drive aptly named as "Kanon with Legionaries"

The story's prelude takes place in 14 AD, the year of the Battle of Teutoberg Forest, in which the Germanian warriors under the command of Gaius Arminius i.e. Hermann tricked, ambushed and annihilated three Roman legions under the command of Consul Quinctillus Varus. In this alternate universe, however, the Romans won the battle, thanks to the leadership of Proconsul Flavius Julius Caesar, only son of Emperor Augustus. Arminius was caught in the act of tricking the Romans, captured and summarily executed after the Romans wiped out his rabbles who had lost initiative.

On the way home to receive the triumph he so duly deserved, Flavius passed by the Greek province of Thermon, in which he consulted the oracles of Delphi. For one reason or another, the oracle passed the gods' words to Flavius that he had no future in Rome. Instead, his future lay in a land "far, far away, beyond the lands of the barbaric Dacians, the mighty Sarmatians and the cunning Parthians, further into the vast country in the east filled with snow and hail, all across the sea in the far east where no Roman had traveled. A land of snow and sword and endless bounty of the earth." A land the oracle called Nihonnia.

And so, heeding the call of the gods, Flavius returned to Rome and prepared for his journey. His father, failing to convince him otherwise, had no other choice but to grant him the title of Imperator Nihonnicus and Legio XI with the golden eagle standard as his blessings for this endeavor.

This journey would take ten years through Roman territory, right through to the East, crossing over mountains and deserts, rivers and tundras, enduring the hot desert sun as well as the cold Russian weather. In the end, the Roman expedition reached what today is Vladivostok, having lost many men and horses on the way for countless causes.

By the wording of the oracle, Flavius decided to have his men chop down wood and built boats to cross the ocean to the east. The gods did not favor him that day, for the very Kamikaze that would many centuries later doom the Mongol invasion to Japan struck the intrepid Roman imperator, wiping out all but one of his ships. The crew of this lucky ship, the first century of the Legion's First Cohort, managed to scramble ashore with their eagle standard.

Their fortune did not last long, however, for they were ambushed by hostile locals. The brave Roman soldiers did not give up, and for every fallen legionary five natives would lay dead, hacked and stabbed by the famous Gladii Hispaniensii. In the end, though, they were overwhelmed by their foes' sheer number, and were eventually pushed them to a snowy forested foothill and slaughtered them to the last men. Even in the last minutes they stood firm in the belief that their Imperator would come for them and overturn the tide of battle...

As for Flavius, he was washed ashore not far away, and was rescued by a hospitable fisherman. Having lost everything, including his memory, Flavius had no choice but to stay back in this new land as a fisherman devoid of wealth or glory. In the end, he learnt Japanese, married his savior's daughter and spent the rest of his days as a commoner forgotten by history. All the while, in Rome, his brother-in-law Tiberius had assumed the throne and proceeded to erase all records about Flavius Julius Caesar, the hero of Teutoberg.

For many generations, Flavius' children, grandchildren and greatgrandchldren would remain in Japan, convinced they were no different from the common folks. Thus the oracle was realized - Flavius' children and grandchildren's future was tied to this land of Nihonnia, not as its rulers or conquerors, but as commoners who weren't even aware of their Roman heritage or their claim to the throne of the Eternal City of the Seven Hills. Ironically, later on, a branch of his descendents moved to a snowy town where the Roman soldiers fought to the death.

Fast forwarding two thousand years into the future, out of his descendents, there was one teenager by the name Yuuichi Aizawa, who returned to this town. There, he would find love and warmth as well as tragedy and cold... supposedly.

Little was he aware of his role - to take up the mantle his ancestor had dropped two millennia ago, and lead the Roman soldiers, or whatever was left of them, back to Rome as deserving of their devotion to the Empire...

So, thoughts?