What An Idiot / JoJo's Bizarre Adventure

"Good grief. I know this is blatantly obvious, but you really are a piece of work."

The Joestar Bloodline has been at war with all kinds of monsters for centuries on end, but that doesn't mean all of them, or even all of their adversaries, end up using their noggin right all the time.

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• JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Phantom Blood:
  • During their fight, Jonathan impales Dio through the chest with a sword. Dio takes this opportunity to reach into Jonathan's neck and grab his carotid artery.
    You'd Expect: For Dio to immediately sever it and drink his blood.
    Instead: He spends around a minute gloating about how he intends to do so rather than actually doing it, and generally standing around like a moron.
    The Result: This gives Jonathan enough time to heat up his sword with a torch directly behind Dio; he cuts through Dio like butter and delivers a fistful of Hamon to him for his trouble. Though Dio survives this, the fight eventually ends in Jonathan's favor.
  • Just before that, Dire demands that he fight Dio first, hoping to avenge Zeppeli's death.
    You'd Expect: For Jonathan or Speedwagon to warn Dire that Dio can freeze people just by touching them.
    Instead: They both apparently just forget Dio can do that, and Jonathan only vaguely warns Dire that Dio has powers he's unprepared to deal with.
    The Result: Dio freezes Dire's entire body in seconds and shatters it like glass when he attempts his Thunder Cross Split Attack. While he manages to temporarily blind Dio in one eye before he dies, which Jonathan exploits, Dire might have lived longer than he did.

• JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Battle Tendency:
  • Lisa Lisa is a very talented Hamon master who had a lot of knowledge, wisdom, and experience during her time being taught by Straizo. However, her husband got murdered by the zombie that he was investigating, and Speedwagon and Straizo let her know about it.
    You'd Expect: For Lisa Lisa to allow Straizo, the very man who trained her in Hamon and the one who has more knowledge and experience about vampires and zombies, to handle the situation with support from Speedwagon and his resources.
    Instead: She puts Joseph down, and runs to the zombie, and kills the zombie in a building where there are many military officials without thinking.
    The Result: She gets discovered by a nearby officer, and she becomes a national fugitive who is forced to leave baby Joseph behind. Not really The Stoic, huh?
    Although: When Straizo fought Dio Brando's zombies, he shouted "I, Straizo, will show you no mercy!", possibly suggesting that he taught Lisa Lisa about using revenge as motivation when it comes to using Hamon, and perhaps how he eventually got tempted into betraying Speedwagon to be like Dio Brando with the Stone Mask's power due to his envy of Dio's rise to power and ability to stay young. Perhaps Joseph shooting Straizo is now more satisfying to look at, especially since Straizo's problematic teaching caused him to grow up with Erina and not Lisa Lisa, and now, Straizo wants him dead.

  • Esidisi gets reduced to a brain after being tricked by Joseph, but managed to possess Suzi Q to mail the Red Stone for Kars to pick up. However, he then encounters Lisa Lisa bathing.
    You'd Expect: For him to attack Lisa Lisa while she isn't looking and is naked while using Suzi Q's ditziness to his advantage.
    Or: To get away from Air Supplena Island and stay away from the Hamon master and her students while waiting for the Red Stone to get to Kars and perhaps to get a better body to fight in.
    Instead: He gives himself away and then starts to attack the trio with his flame mode.
    You'd then expect: For him to run away since he is in Suzi Q's body without telling the trio about the Red Stone and it is not like he can dishonor himself any further so Kars can achieve his goal.
    Instead: He tells the trio about his plan to mail the Red Stone and then starts gloating Joseph into killing him, taking Suzi Q as well.
    The Result: Esidisi's nervous system gets out of Suzi Q, saving her and Joseph manages to expose him to the sunlight, killing him while also embarking with Caesar, Lisa Lisa, and Messina to travel to Switzerland to recover the Red Stone. Although to be fair, Kars did get the Red Stone and succeeded in his goal, but it could have happened a lot faster thanks to Esidisi.
    
• JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders:
  • DIO has numerous Stand-wielding minions at his disposal, most of whom serve him willingly, but a few of whom are Brainwashed and Crazy by flesh buds.
    You'd Expect: Him to keep the brainwashed Kakyoin and Polnareff close at hand.
    Instead: He sends them to try to kill the Joestars.
    The Result: Kakyoin and Polnareff become staunch allies of the Joestars, and both save the lives of said Joestars more than once. Polnareff becomes the Spanner in the Works that leads to DIO not being able to confront and kill them all at once, and Kakyoin discovers the secret of The World, enabling Jotaro to beat him.
  • In addition, DIO has deployed numerous henchmen across Asia and Egypt to deal with the Joestars.
    You'd Expect: The minions would team up and gang up on Jotaro and co somewhere, and while its true their combined powers might be too chaotic to control, it can be done to yield major success, such as Hol Horse and J. Geil, who manage to temporarily take Avdol out of action.
    Instead: Aside from the aforementioned Hol Horse (who later teams up again, this time with Boingo), the minions all decide to confront the Joestars one by one and as result get defeated without any additional backup. Admittedly, this is explained within the series a few times as Stand users tending to work alone so they can avoid revealing their Stands to others, so its not entirely without reason.
  • Rubber Soul has the same idiocy streak that leads to him being defeated. His Stand, Yellow Temperance, allows him to take the form of almost anything he sees.
    You'd Expect: That he would disguise himself as a random person - anyone Jotaro doesn't know.
    Instead: He takes the disguise of Kakyoin, who is Jotaro's ally.
    You'd Then Expect: That even if he doesn't know Kakyoin's personality, he would avoid drawing any unnecessary suspicion towards himself.
    Instead: He acts like a rude Jerkass, assaulting people for no reason and becoming as generally unpleasant person. While he does get a couple of lucky shots from behind, these are thwarted by Anne, and eventually he undoes his own disguise when Jotaro finally punches him. He is somehow even dumber in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Heritage for the Future, where he punches Jotaro at random and the latter sees through the disguise right off the bat.
    You'd Also Expect: That Rubber Soul will use the opportunity to ambush the real Kakyoin when he returns back to the hotel, knock him down and instead join the group in his disguise.
    The Result: While he does put up quite a fight, Rubber Soul ends up defeated and pummeled senseless after a failed attempt at striking Jotaro down from behind.
  • Steely Dan has a laundry list of these moments that ends up contributing to his defeat:
    • First, he uses his Stand, Lovers, to enter Joseph Joestar's brain through his ear canal and plant a deadly flesh bud that will eviscerate it. His Stand's ability not only shares any physical pain he experiences with his victim, but also doubles it. Dan uses this to his advantage and essentially takes Joseph hostage.
      You'd Expect: Steely Dan to take the group over to DIO personally, under the threat that Joseph will be killed if they don't cooperate. He'd be killing four birds with one stone.
      Instead: He lords over the group about how untouchable he is and starts verbally and physically slapping Jotaro around.
    • After that, Polnareff, Kakyoin and Joseph run off to find a way to deal with Dan's Stand.
      You'd Expect: For Dan to demand they stop, or Joseph will be killed.
      Instead: He lets them run off, thinking they're simply putting distance between his Stand and himself. Also, he takes the time to swipe Jotaro's wallet.
    • While Dan is using Jotaro as a bridge to cross a gap, the trio run to an electronics store so Joseph can use Hermit Purple to look inside his brain with a TV. Polnareff and Kakyoin shrink their Stands down to an atomic level and enter Joseph's brain to deal with Lovers. Thanks to the synchronization Stands share with their users, Dan is fully aware of what they're doing.
      You'd Expect: For Dan to decide that it's simply not worth the risk, and to off Joseph ASAP. He has one of the most physically weak Stands in the series, and if they manage to get a hold of it, he's done for. At the very least, he'll have gotten one hero out of the picture.
      Instead: He pays it no mind and continues to bully Jotaro, demanding he shine his shoes and steal a bracelet from a jewelry store (and letting the cashier know when he grabs it).
    • Finally, after Lovers has been defeated and Dan is reduced to a crippled wreck, he begs for mercy and forgiveness from Jotaro, revealing himself as the spineless dirtbag he is. Jotaro decides he's Not Worth Killing and walks off.
      You'd Expect: For Dan to retreat and fight another day.
      Better Yet: He has a knife hidden in his shirt. He could swiftly stab Jotaro in the back and he'd never see it coming.
      Instead: He states that Lovers has now taken a young girl hostage, and for Jotaro to let him stab him in the back, lest the girl dies. However, Jotaro reveals that Kakyoin's Stand, Hierophant Green, had tied up Lovers, and swiftly yanks it out of the girl's ear canal. By the time Dan starts begging for his life AGAIN, Jotaro's patience with him has run dry.
      The Result: Star Platinum pummels the absolute utter dogshit out of the bastard FOR TWENTY WHOLE SECONDS, and smashes him through a brick wall for good measure. "Keep the freakin' change," indeed.
  • Oingo and Boingo are currently in Egypt, plotting to assassinate the Joestar Group at the right moment. Oingo sees a random guy walking in their direction. His face pisses Oingo off.
    You'd Expect: For Oingo to just leave the man alone. Neither his nor Boingo's Stands are meant for combat, so they won't be able to bail themselves out if they get into trouble with the locals.
    Instead: He punches the man in the face and steals his wallet for no reason.
    The Result: Just when Boingo is reading Thoth to plan their next move, the man returns with six of his hulking, burly friends, who proceed to beat the shit out of the brothers offscreen, resulting in them being sent to the hospital. Nice going, moron.
  • During the Alessi arc, Polnareff is reduced to a child by Alessi. When he finds Jotaro, he tries to ask for help, but can't remember his name.
    You'd Expect: Polnareff would tell Jotaro his own name and explain the situation.
    Instead: He just stands there trying to remember Jotaro's name.
    Furthermore: When Jotaro asks him if he’s seen Polnareff around, Polnareff replies with "that's me."
    You'd then expect: Polnareff would show him his Stand to prove it.
    Instead: Polnareff does nothing.
    The Result: Jotaro thinks he's being played and leaves him alone, only to be attacked by Alessi.
  • Even Jotaro isn't immune from this trope. During his fight against Daniel J. D'Arby, Jotaro catches D'Arby cheating while dealing the cards and demands that someone else should deal them. D'Arby lets him choose anyone he wants to deal.
    You'd Expect: Jotaro would ask Avdol to deal the cards. Just a few chapters ago, Joseph pointed out that they're in DIO's domain and can't take any risks or trust anyone. Jotaro knows Avdol is on his side, and can trust him.
    Instead: Jotaro chooses a little kid who he doesn't know to deal the cards.
    The Result: Surprise surprise, the kid is working for D'Arby and purposefully deals Jotaro a bad hand.
    Fortunately: Jotaro comes up with a backup plan and puts together an incredibly epic bluff that manages to drive D'Arby completely insane and forces him to fold when he had the better hand.
  • In the Pet Shop arc, the titular antagonist drags two dogs who tried digging under the gate to DIO's mansion through the bottom of said gate and decapitates them. Soon afterwards, their owner - a young boy - walks around the area looking for them. He notices blood on the bottom of the gate and one of his dogs' collars below it.
    You'd Expect: For the kid to assume the worst and get the hell out of there. The blood is still fresh, so whoever or whatever killed his dogs (and it's obvious that they were killed) is still lurking somewhere nearby.
    Instead: He starts crawling under the gate. He then sees, much to his horror, Pet Shop slurping up the eyeball of one of his dogs' severed heads like a spaghetti noodle. He then lunges towards the kid, intent on killing him, too.
    Thankfully: Iggy arrives on the scene and attacks Pet Shop, just barely managing to save the kid from being bird food.
  • Kenny G., A resident of DIO's Mansion, can use his stand, Tenore Sax, to create illusions and transform the rooms of the mansion. He uses his stand to transform the room where Jotaro, Kakyoin and Joseph fight Telence J. D'arby and the room where Avdol, Polnareff and Iggy at.
    You'd Expect: For Kenny G. to use the stand to fill the illusionary room where the latter three are with booby traps, such as spikes, lava pools, etc. Furthermore, he could do the same in the room with the former three after they defeat D'arby.
    Instead: He turns the former room into a big but harmless labyrinth.
    As a result: Kenny G. doesn't even get to fight Avdol, Polnareff and Iggy, as they find out where he's hiding in less than a minute and defeat him in a single blow.
    However: Vanilla Ice later arrives and gives the heroes a tough fight, killing two of them.
  • During the fight with Vanilla Ice, Iggy manages to trick him with a sand statue of DIO, but accidentally places it in the daylight, thus letting the vampire put two and two together. After destroying the statue, Vanilla Ice corners Iggy and starts kicking him repeatedly. Polnareff, who had been incapacitated, is forced to observe the whole process from the distance.
    You'd Expect: That, having recovered, he would attack Vanilla Ice with Silver Chariot while he is busy, using any ranged or projectile attack (for example; firing off his sword blade, like he used to defeat Chaka).
    Instead: He weakly begs Vanilla Ice to stop, even though the latter had been established as being utterly unreasonable. Even worse, he monologues at one point about how deranged Vanilla Ice is, all while not even lifting a finger to help Iggy until he has had enough.
    The Result: By the time he does launch an attack with his Stand, it is too late, and Vanilla Ice dodges the next subsequent attack and goes into his void mode. Even worse, Iggy has been physically beaten so severely that he starts bleeding profusely and eventually dies from his wounds.
  • Later on, you have DIO in his final battle against Jotaro. The latter has the former on the ropes, but DIO manages to distract Jotaro by throwing blood into his eyes from his improperly-healed leg that got cut off earlier, before diving in to inflict a killing blow.
    You'd Expect: DIO, knowing that his bad leg would be a weak spot, would attack Jotaro quickly with one of The World's limbs that wasn't damaged or use his own Time Stop, such as its fist; especially since he's had more practice with using such techniques and could accordingly kill him more easily due to Jotaro's more limited time and longer cooldown on his time stop that he'd just used.
    Instead: DIO does not take advantage of either, and simply attempts to kick Jotaro with his bad leg; while wasting the time he bought with the thrown blood to posture and throw a parting insult at him.
    The Result: Since damage sustained to the user carries over to the Stand and vice versa, Jotaro exactly targets said weak point where it's easiest to damage; letting him split The World in half and accordingly kill DIO.
• JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Diamond is Unbreakable:
  • During the very second episode, Josuke successfully captures Angelo's Stand without much trouble, after which Jotaro gives him very clear instructions not to take his eyes off the Stand for a second.
    You'd Expect: Josuke would take his advice and either hide the bottle in his pocket, or just keep it somewhere where only he could find it.
    Instead: He leaves it out in the open.
    The Result: Once Josuke's grandfather Ryohei shows up, Angelo takes advantage of the situation and tricks Ryohei into thinking his Stand is a bottle of brandy, leading to Angelo escaping with his Stand, and leaving Josuke's grandfather dead.
  • In Episodes 3 and 4, it turns out that Keicho Nijimura not only has a Stand power, but the Stand Arrow, which gives other people Stand powers. His goal is to find someone with a power that can Mercy Kill his father.
    You'd Expect: Him to be very careful about who he picks. After all, he needs someone who 1)is able to acquire a Stand power, 2)gets a Stand that he needs and 3)is willing to help him and won't end up abusing his/her new Stand power.
    Instead: He shoots random people with the Arrow, including Koichi.
    The Result: Keicho ends up killing several people who didn't have the fortitude to acquire a Stand and empowers some of the minor antagonists, one of whom is a Serial Killer. As a result, Keicho ends up directly or indirectly causing several deaths, including his own when one of the people he empowered kills him and steals the Arrow.
  • In Episode 11, Okuyasu has Red Hot Chili Pepper at his mercy. The enemy Stand claims that he's been weakened, but suggests that contrary to appearances, he might have enough strength to attack Jotaro or the other heroes if Okuyasu doesn't finish him off. Jotaro, listening to the two from a distance, realizes that Red Hot Chili Pepper hasn't been beaten yet and is plotting something.
    You'd Expect: Okuyasu to realize that Red Hot Chili Pepper is clearly taunting him to goad him into attacking, and the comment about possibly attacking the others is meant to play on his paranoia.
    Instead: Okuyasu slashes at Red Hot Chili Pepper with The Hand.
    The Result: Okuyasu ends up cutting some underground electrical cables in half, giving Red Hot Chili Pepper an escape route. Red Hot Chili Pepper then proceeds to give Okuyasu a "The Reason You Suck" Speech about how his stupidity caused him to be a burden on his brother, and would have killed him if Josuke hadn't been able to "fix" Okuyasu's severed hand and bring the rest of his body back.
  • In Episode 23, Kira's Sheer Heart Attack has Jotaro and Koichi trapped in the shoe store. Despite Jotaro's observation that it's a remote-controlled Stand, Koichi insists that it's so powerful that the wielder must be nearby.
    You'd Expect: Koichi to simply listen to Jotaro. First, Jotaro has experience dealing with Stands. Second, Jotaro has acquired plenty of clues that can significantly narrow down the wielder's identity, so it would be safer to prioritize escaping and use their information to track Kira down later.
    Instead: Koichi gets angry with Jotaro for "underestimating" him and sends Echoes high above the store to scout for Kira.
    The Result: Koichi finds Kira, but sees that he's more than 50 meters away by now and thus outside of Echoes' range. Sheer Heart Attack then attacks Koichi, who's unable to recall his Stand to protect himself, and Jotaro ends up getting badly injured while drawing Sheer Heart Attack's attention away from Koichi.
  • During the investigation, Yoshihiro Kira finds out that Rohan knows that Kira has changed his disguise and is hiding among the civilians, and later sees Josuke and others searching for him. He also finds out that Hayato has discovered his identity and Kira has killed him. He immediately relays this to Kira and implores him to flee Morioh at the best chance he has got.
    You'd Expect: Kira to listen to his father and leave Morioh. The last time they fought, Kira was dangerously close to getting busted and had sheer luck to escape them. This time, everyone knows what they are expecting and his "son", Hayato is dead, making him the prime suspect.
    Instead: Kira refuses him and decides to stay in Morioh.
    As a Result: Kira gets himself and Yoshihiro exposed, resulting in the latter's death. After a fight, Kira is stopped by Jotaro and gets himself killed when an ambulance reverses on him.
• JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind:
  • Bucciarati has brought Trish to Diavolo, and Bucciarati has no idea what Diavolo plans to do with her, killing her.
    You'd Expect: Diavolo to simply wait for Bucciarati to leave the building, then kill Trish himself - no, really, that's all he had to do. He still would've had to eventually deal with Giornio's ambitions, but he would be in a much better place to deal with them. It would only be a 5-10 minute wait at most.
    Instead: Diavolo decides to try and kill Trish right in front of Bucciarati, someone he knows is altruistic and an experienced Stand User.
    The Result: This starts a series of events that leads to Giorno's Gold Experience gaining it's requiem form, Diavolo getting sent into an infinite loop of death, and Giorno taking over as The Don of Passione.
  • As Team Bucciarati is trying to leave Venice, an enemy Stand User attacks Narancia from the water, while another one attaches itself to Narancia's tongue and forces him to lie to the group about the former's whereabouts, often suddenly changing what he says to mislead the others.
    You'd Expect: The others to realize that something's wrong with Narancia, and that an enemy Stand is involved.
    Instead: They assume that he's seeng things or messing with them.
    The Result: The team ends up being led on a wild goose chase and becomes increasingly frustrated with Narancia. When Giorno finally starts to piece everything together, Clash nearly kills him.
  • Trish gets a huge one while in Mista's body. She uses her Stand to launch previously-fired bullets straight through Diavolo/King Crimson's hand, causing him to lose his grip on the Stand Arrow. Diavolo gets REALLY confused on what happened, to the point that his focus has momentarily shifted away from the Arrow.
    You'd Expect: Trish keeps her mouth shut for the time being, at least until Giorno or someone can grab a hold of the Arrow. It's even flying over Mista, with him pointing out that King Crimson is far enough that even if he could skip time, he wouldn't be able to reach the Arrow before them.
    Instead: Trish immediately reveals on what she did to Diavolo.
    The Result: An enraged Diavolo wishes that Trish was never born, and mortally wounds her soul, with the force of the impact sending Mista's body (which he was inhabiting too) to fly towards the Arrow. If it wasn't for Bucciarati's Heroic Sacrifice, Trish's spirit would have passed to the great beyond and Diavolo would have most probably unlocked King Crimson Requiem.
• JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean:
  • Pucci has unlocked Made in Heaven, killed Ermes, Anasui, Jotaro and Jolyne and successfully managed to reset the universe. The only flaw is that Emporio is now the Sole Survivor of the group, and he has managed to travel to the new universe due to Jolyne's Heroic Sacrifice.
    You'd Expect: Pucci to ignore him and continue the time acceleration to the time he got Made in Heaven. As far as he knows, the boy is no threat to him and he has more pressing matters than revenge.
    Instead: Pucci stops the time acceleration just to the day Jotaro (or rather, the Made in Heaven-version of him) visited the prison, just because he knows what Emporio will be upto that day.
    Now You'd Expect: Pucci to activate Made in Heaven right then and there, and kill him as soon as possible just to account for any Spanner in the Works he has in store for him.
    Instead: Pucci chases him around to toy with him and gloats how Dio and his plan are foolproof and Emporio will have no place in his Heaven. He also tells him that resistance to his fate is futile and he will go to his Stand for shelter.
    As a Result: Emporio tricks Pucci into punching the Weather Report disc into his head, because Emporio isn't fated to get Weather Report right then and Pucci can change his own actions. As Pucci enters Emporio's stand, he fills the room with pure oxygen, and tricks Pucci into activating Made in Heaven again, leading to him getting incapacitated and Emporio killing him soon after. Due to his death, Made in Heaven stops accelerating and sends them back to their universe, but as Pucci died in the acceleration itself before completely resetting the world, he is either erased from existence or replaced with another dissimilar version of him in a universe where all of his enemies are now alive, and his plan a complete failure.

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