Cosmic Scoundrels is a 2014 webcomic (later turned into a physical series of comic books) created by Andy Suriano (Samurai Jack, Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) and Matt Chapman, one half of The Brothers Chaps (Homestar Runner, Two More Eggs). The comic started up on its website
in 2014, uploading what would be seen as the first 3 issues (plus a bit of the start of #4) at 69 pages, before halting in 2016 and eventually finishing off in 2017 with the rest of issue #4 and finally #5 after partnering with IDW Publishing, turning the comic physical.
According to the description on the official website, Cosmic Scoundrels is about the exploits of two intergalactic bachelors on the run from everyone. Roshambo and Love Savage are partners in crime who cruise the galaxy, going through one job after another and generally being complete assholes to everyone. Along the way, they end up accidentally kidnapping a baby after a cargo heist, and the adventure truly kicks into high-gear, with everyone in the galaxy suddenly seeming to want the baby or the Scoundrels themselves.
The series is currently supposedly over, with issue #5 ending on an uncertain “to be continued…?” There have not been any signs of future updates, making it easy to assume we aren’t getting anything anytime soon.
Cosmic Scoundrels contains examples of:
- Accidental Kidnapping: The Scoundrels accidentally kidnapping a baby during a cargo heist is what ends up kicking off the whole plot. Love Savage is excited by this outcome and wants to keep it, while Roshambo wants to sell it to at least get some value out of the mistake.
- An Arm and a Leg: Hairbath loses his upper arms to Roshambo when the latter is saving the baby from him. Eventually leads to artificial replacements.
- Arranged Marriage: Love Savage (or Prince Percevithorp Refractimon, as he was once known) was intended to be married to Duchess Ron Cargill as part of a peace and trade treaty between nations. Although he insisted at the time that the marriage was willing and that he truly loved the duchess, he still ended up abandoning her at the altar. Naturally, chaos ensued.
- Asshole Victim: Part of the reason why we can root for the Scoundrels despite them being… well, scoundrels, is that most of the people they harm and steal from aren’t much better than them.
- Baby as Payment: You couldn’t really call Roshambo the baby’s parent at this point in the story, but he does try to sell it in order to gain value from the accidental kidnapping and pay off the damages the Fistpuncher made to Hairbath’s shop.
- Back from the Dead: The intergalactic death gods trying to get their gauntlets back from Roshambo bring back the real Tad and Jacob, who were put into eternal cryosleep by the Scoundrels, as zombies.
- Badass Family: Love Savage fantasizes about him, Roshambo, and the baby forming one after the baby is within their custody. Roshambo isn’t immediately warm to the idea, but eventually comes around.
- Black Market: The Fence serves as a black market mall right outside of the fence to the mysterious “Empire”. It has all kinds of sketchy services, from child trafficking to drug dealing to “massage” places (wink).
- Bond One-Liner / Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: Roshambo has a tendency of dropping a one-liner before, after, or during fights. Because his gauntlets are activated by words, he’ll often deliver his attacks in the form of a punny quip.
- Book Ends: The final panel with the Scoundrels in #5 mirrors the cover of the first issue, with the key differences being the Red Dots are replaced with Quintesstrion soldiers, Mrs. Billingsley is present, and Love Savage possesses one of the Galactic Gauntlets.
- Brain Bleach: When Love Savage has Mrs. Billingsley show off some of his… certainly scandalous Bi-Bi Bebar photos in order to ward off the Virtuous Sisterhood, Roshambo is rightfully mortified.Roshambo: Gotta hand it to you, Savage. That was pretty damn genius. Mentally scarring, but genius.
- The Cameo: The Scoundrels make an appearance in Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles a handful of times: both of them being in one of Jupiter Jim’s window displays, and Roshambo being the example illustrations for Jupiter Jim’s Nerve Pinch Reverse Technique.
- Criminal Found Family: The Cosmic Scoundrels, for the middle portion of the comic, become this. Initially it’s just a fantasy of Love Savage, but it becomes solidified when Roshambo says they should escape The Fence with the baby “as a family”.
- Crystal Dragon Jesus: Tad and Jacob aren’t Christians, instead worshipping the mysterious Mongo Prime (though apparently there is an unrelated “Space Christ”), but the way they’re portrayed as stereotypical overly cheerful religion devotees seems particular enough that they’re likely primarily making fun of them.
- Everyone Chasing You: By issue #5, pretty much everybody you could think of (and even people you wouldn’t expect at all) are coming for one or both of the Scoundrels, the baby, or something else they just so happen to have.
- Faster-Than-Light Travel: The S.S. Fistpuncher is equipped with a warp function that serves as this.
- Gender Reveal: Right before saying goodbye to the Scoundrels, the baby reveals that it was actually a girl, despite being referred to as a boy for the whole story. Neither of the Scoundrels ever bothering to change it likely played into this confusion.
- Heh Heh, You Said "X": When Roshambo and Love Savage are returning to their ship in issue #1:Roshambo: Billingsley! Prepare to receive two! Coming in hot!
Love Savage: Heh heh. You said ‘prepare to receive two’.
Roshambo: Shut up and go limp.
Love Savage: Heh heh. You said ‘go–’
Roshambo: SHUT UP!! - Helicopter Parents: Downplayed, Love Savage is said to be a “hovercopter parent” in an author’s note, but we don’t get to see much of this behavior in the actual comic besides rational protection of the baby from the evils of the universe.
- Hyperspace Is a Scary Place: In this universe, hyperspace is an endless white void resulting from tearing the seams of reality that is apparently not the greatest to look into while warping, as Love Savage seems unhappy when Miss Bills asks him if he would like the baby to look out into it.
- Improbable Weapon User: In another instance of Love Savage defeating an evil dedicated to religion with his own horniness, zombie Tad ends up being re-murdered with help from the improvised weapon of a Putremingo erotic massager (although an ad for it seems to show that it is intended to double as a murder weapon).
- I'm Taking Her Home with Me!:
- While the Scoundrels didn’t kidnap the baby on purpose, once they realize what they’ve done, Love Savage is immediately attached to the idea of keeping it and raising it as his own with Roshambo.
- From the “Hairbath’s Book of Skin-Crawlingly Suggestive Zingers!!” easter egg:
(to cute child) “Aww, I could just lock you up and keep you on my stasis shelf forever!” - Instant Seduction: Love Savage can seduce anybody he puts his mind to by merely dropping some smooth talking. Justified in him being a Living Aphrodisiac.
- Living Weapon: Roshambo uses the baby as a weapon when it begins hiccuping out spacetime.
- Magical Accessory: Roshambo’s “galactic gauntlets”, which are admittedly more like wristbands. They can shoot rock-paper-scissors related magic.
- Make Games, Not War: Played with with the planet of Quintesstria. Sporting events aren't replacements for warfare, warfare IS a sport to them.
- Mistaken Identity: Mrs. Billingsley thinks that Roshambo and Love Savage are the ship’s original owners, Jacob and Tad. They use this confusion to their advantage in order to not lose access to what they’ve now turned into the S.S. Fistpuncher.
- Multiboobage: The members of the Virtuous Sisterhood all have 3 pairs of breasts.
- An unnamed slug-like alien on Love Savage’s character page has two pairs.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Roshambo seems to have a moment of this basically immediately after he sells the baby to Hairbath. In all fairness, you’d have to be far beyond twisted to not feel disturbed by Hairbath mentioning his “personal collection.”
- Non-Indicative Name: The Galactic Gauntlets aren’t actually gauntlets, thanks to only being on the wrists and not being gloves. An easter egg detailing their abilities says that the reason behind this misname is either because Roshambo doesn’t know what a gauntlet is or he thought that “Blastoff Bracelets” sounded too lame.
- Platonic Co-Parenting: Roshambo and Love Savage plan to do this with the baby once the former warms up to the idea of keeping it.
- Pooping Food: The baby is cited as having its own never ending supply of “Spicy Dijon Mustard”, aka its feces. It can apparently be used to make a bizarre looking purple casserole that is best enjoyed with hard drugs.
- Really Royalty Reveal: Issue #4 reveals that Love Savage is a runaway prince, with his real name being Prince Percevithorp Refractimon of Prelaxagon.
- Rebel Prince: Love Savage is actually a prince on the run, abandoning his empire after being tempted into a more hardcore life by his cousin.
- Royal Inbreeding: The main goal of the Refractimon royalty is to have as many inbred babies as possible. Interestingly, this has somehow led to all offspring of the family effectively being Living Aphrodisiacs. According to an author’s note, the inscription on the Refractimon family crest reads “Massivus Inbredimus”, and the S’s are all dollar signs.
- Runaway Bride: Runaway groom, in the case of the intended wedding between Prince Percevithorp and Duchess Ron, as Percevithorp - soon to become Love Savage - abandons her at the altar upon learning he has the genetic capabilities to get into the pants of anybody he wants. Not that the duchess really seems to care.
- Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll: Love Savage is a male prostitute, is said to take a lot of drugs, and seems to desire a music career.
- Space Battle: Multiple of these ensue throughout the story.
- STD Immunity: Averted with Love Savage, with him actually apparently having tons of space STDS. Funnily, he could be considered to have a whole other type of STD immunity, with his STDS effectively rendering him immune to zombie bites.
- Stealth Pun: The S.S. Fistpuncher, with Miss Bills as its AI, is technically a mothership. Just not in the way that the term usually means.
- Tactical Rock–Paper–Scissors: Literally, for Roshambo’s galactic gauntlets. He can use attacks based on rock, paper, and scissors, with rock usually being used for more explosive attacks, paper capable of producing concussive energy blasts, and scissors being able to slice most materials. Paper also has cutting abilities, depending on how convenient it is (it’s been lampshaded how this is kind of redundant).
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: The final Dimetrotron Brother hunting down the Scoundrels, Trake, ends up killed by Love Savage vomiting Atmosphetamine all over him.
- War Has Never Been So Much Fun: On Quintesstria, also known as the “dandy planet”, war is treated like a colourful sporting event more than a devastating battle. Their tendency to wear bright and frilly outfits definitely adds to the fun.
- World of Jerkass: There’s hardly any living characters in the story who could be called a decent person, there are around two and one of them is a literal infant and the other is an AI programmed to be motherly (and even then both of these characters are associated with a group of space criminals). Everyone else is a crude or outright monstrous criminal, or in general shows nothing but negative attributes the entire time we know them.
