Minors are the ideal combatants and will always win against adults with superior tactics and firepower.
Whenever an evil scientist tells you that your friend is up to no good, trust his words without question.
Girls, if a guy you like doesn't return any romantic feelings for you, don't bother finding other guys who would probably give you a chance. Go obsessively angry at the guy who doesn't return your affections and beat the crap out of him with a weapon!
The Shadow Arc: It's okay to do horrible things as long as you make up for it in the end!
Eating a shit-ton of chili dogs will give you super speed.
Chase a guy around in a hopelessly creepy fashion, and he'll start to be touched by your gestures of affection and fall for you in return.
If you don't go along with your team's plan that will most likely lead to failure, you're wrong for thinking a better idea and you deserve to be belittled by said team.
If you have been deceived by a mustachioed scientist many times, then that means that you are a good person who sees the good in others' hearts.
It's better for you to be used as a patsy for your friends than to come up with well-thought plans.
Hey 8-11 year old girls with depression (it's more common than one would think), it's a perfectly good idea to traumatize a boy you have a crush on by forcing them to kill you by making sure all other options are gone.
Your life only sucks if you don't get enough attention, despite the fact that you have your weird, but loving grandfather, the jolly maid, the badass butler, and your nice friends at school. Having anthropomorphic friends will suddenly make your life better.
Hey kids! Are your friends feeling homesick and you wanna help them but don't know how? Don't worry! All you need to do is seek out a notorious terrorist and agree to steal the superpowerful artifacts you've been collecting and give them to him. And be sure not to tell anyone about this, not even your oh so precious friends. After all, what's the worst that could happen?
If the heroes are unknowingly harbouring an enemy spy within their ranks, don't bother telling them this. Instead, try to murder the spy and if the heroes try to stop you, inflict a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown upon them. It's their fault for helping a villain after all. And don't give a thought to the fact that said spy is a Manchurian Agent who doesn't even know what they've been doing.
You have no right to safely incapacitate someone who just tried to shoot you if your self-proclaimed girlfriend intervenes and insists that they helped her that one time.
The best application of Applied Phlebotinum is on your own personal projects. Who cares how important that cosmic doodad is towards the safety of the world, that plane prototype's got to fly somehow.
If you and your team met a group you never met before, then that means they're working for the bad guys, so you have every right to fight against them.
If you meet an ally you thought they were dead after saving the world, spite him for being "stubborn" and "full of surprises"!
If your team and another team happen to share the same goal, beat the crap out of each other!
What are two things you should do when a soldier of a military organization kills your closest friend? One, blame an artificial 3-foot hedgehog, and two, join the aforementioned military organization.
Never attack someone who is on your ally's side, even if they tried to kill you.
If you are suffering from amnesia, the only way to find your memories is not asking your friends who know you from the previous game, but to listen to an Obviously Evil alien who plots to destroy the world. On the flip side, if your friend is suffering from amnesia, ask him for his help in helping you complete various missions instead of just simply helping him find his memories.
And that one guy who is genuinely looking out for your best interests, refusing to jump to conclusions about you, and risking life and limb to actually learn the truth about you? Don't take him seriously at all. After all, he has an annoying voice and he makes for an easy meme.
If you have part of a powerful weapon, you should gamble it in a race! Who knows what could happen if it fell into the wrong hands, but hey, hoverboards are cool!
If you think someone is better than you at something, belittle his work to make yourself feel better.
Sonic Riders: Zero Gravity: Nothing gets you to your destination faster than driving in circles!
If an Obviously Evil figure tells you that a blue hedgehog is the one who destroyed the future, believe every word he says without question.
What is the best way to stop an evil entity? Seal it inside your own daughter!
Don't cry or else you will release said evil entity to destroy the universe.
In order to make a girl cry to release an evil entity from within her, trick someone else in killing someone she's close with, even though you can do that on your own by simply traveling through time.
To hell with The Power of Friendship and working together to defeat the bad guy! Let's behave like assholes to each other and challenge each other to races to see who gets to him first!
Ignore all requests for help from damsels in distress. She's either working for a power-hungry boss or it's all part of her Evil Plan to rule the world.
Wanting the world to last forever is wrong!
If you miss out on a date with a girl because you were transported into a book beyond your control, it's your own fault and you deserve to suffer her wrath.
When in an Enemy Mine situation, never upset your best friend by trusting your arch-enemy to stop their life-draining machine more than him. Just because he built the thing doesn't mean he's the most authoritative person on how to handle it.
Hanging around with your lifetime friends will stunt your personal growth. Cutting contact with them for a long time is the only way to truly develop oneself.
