Recap / The Brittas Empire S4E6: Shall We Dance?

Laura: I wonder if anyone's got any time to mop up a floor?

Colin: What's the problem?

Laura: Oh, just some blood on the second floor landing, Colin. Mr. Brittas has been giving his marriage guidance classes again.

— Laura Lancing getting Colin Weatherby to find someone to mop up some blood.

• Date First Aired: 14/02/1994

It's the Southern Area Leisure Centres' Staff Gala Ball, meaning that the centre is going to open a bit earlier than usual. During the announcement, Brittas complements Laura a lot and wants everyone to appreciate her, leading to rumors that they're beginning to pursue a romantic relationship. This isn't helped by Julie's claims that, ever since his wife went off to Cornwall, he's been out at her garden every day building an arbor.

Afterward, Laura is sent up to Brittas' office. As she heads up, Carole tells her that she's found a partner for the ball. Having put an advert in the newspaper for a man, her first boyfriend has responded. Laura comes up to Brittas calling for his wife, who has gone lobster potting with a man named Garth. He gives them a packet of seeds and Laura gives him a set of photos to remind him of all the hard work he did.

Meanwhile, Michael T. Farrell III comes in. He's become incredibly broke following a disagreement with his father, and he's thus decided to get together with Laura. Ronald, Carole's old boyfriend, also comes in, intending to purpose to her. Unfortunately, he is intercepted by Brittas, who, thinking that the envelope containing the engagement ring was a complaint, throws it into the complaints box.

Farrell is called up to Brittas' office, who he still hates and barely holds his contempt for. Laura comes in however and decides to talk to Farrell.

Meanwhile, Ronald, who has got his hand stuck in the complaint's box, is able to able to make it into first aid but gets trapped in there by a hazard sign. At the same time, much to Brittas' horror, Laura and Michael have reconciled. Not helping matters is the early return of Helen, who has had to endure four children projectile vomiting at her and running over a guide dog.

At the ball itself, the couples dance. Colin dances with Pauline, who turns out to be a burlish crossdressing milkman, Linda dances with Edward, who turns out to be her headmaster, Tim and Gavin dance with each other, Julie's partner is promptly nicked for car theft, Helen dances with Brittas, and Michael dances with Laura. As for Carole's partner, he finally makes it out of the first aid room, only to get trapped in the air vent system, unfortunately leading Carole to believe that he stood her up.

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Tropes in this episode:

• Air-Vent Passageway: Ronald tries to escape from the Medical Room through its ventilation system. It... doesn't work out for him.
• The Alcoholic: Pauline smashes down several cans of lager.
• And Your Reward Is Edible: If what Laura says is any indication, Brittas was building her an arbor in return for some omelets.
• Bittersweet Ending: Bordering on outright Downer Ending - the dance actually goes fairly well (although Brittas considers everyone's choices to be too eccentric) and Laura gets back together with Michael, but Brittas, who is implied to have been developing feelings for Laura, is clearly disappointed by Laura's decision and is seen drunkenly and sadly considering what could have been at the ball. Also, as typical for Carole at this point, her potential suitor gets left to an Uncertain Doom in the vents and she is left thinking that he stood her up.
• Black Comedy Pet Death: Helen accidentally running over a guide dog is played for dark laughs.
  Helen: And when I finally get there, I discover the dog. I mean, what sort of a person ties their animal to the back of someone else's car?
  Carole: A dog?
  Helen: Why didn't it bark or something? That's the trouble with these guide dogs - they're too bloody well-trained.
  Carole: You've ran over a guide dog in the car park?
  Helen: Oh, don't worry, not here. St. Austell. I wondered what the bumping was. Anyway, Gordon can scrape it off.
• Brick Joke: Carole is able to get a man by putting an advertisement in the newspaper with all of her personal details. Laura warns against it, but Carole is not too bothered, as it was a man she once knew. Carole is later called up by a person who is rather interested in what she's wearing and what her breast size is.
• Broke Episode: Michael is broke following a disagreement with his father.
• Call-Back: Laura's garden from "Laura's Leaving" makes a reappearance, with Brittas and Laura bonding whilst he is building an arbor there.
• Chaotic Car Ride: Whilst the holiday was fine, Helen's car trip back home came complete with two children puking, a third trying to eat the puke, and a fourth screaming because she wouldn't play Magnetic Scrabble with him. And that's not getting into her running over a guide dog by accident...
• Character Shilling: Brittas spends the first few minutes taking his time to emphasize and praise Laura's skills and accomplishments, which leads the other staff to conclude that he's having an affair with her.
• Covered in Gunge: Helen, upon her return, is covered in her children's puke.
• Creepy Crossdresser: Pauline is a hairy, blokish man who dresses like a woman.
• Crossdresser: Pauline, a blokish man who dresses as a woman, although Colin is apparently unaware of this.
• Dances and Balls: The episode centers around an annual staff ball. Brittas initially wants to take Laura, until Helen comes back and Laura reconciles with Michael.
• Did Not Get the Girl: Michael begins to win over Laura's affections again, much to Brittas' dismay.
• Extreme Omnivore: On top of the mention that all four of Helen's children were eating dead crab that they found at a beach, one of them was also trying to eat the puke which came about as a result of eating the dead crab.
• Flowers of Romance: The staff hears about Brittas giving Laura flowers, so they think it’s a sign that he’s having an affair with her. In truth, they were actually flower seeds, which he gives to her for her garden.
• The Food Poisoning Incident: It's mentioned that the reason that all of Helen's children are puking is that they ate dead crabs during their trip to Cornwall.
• The Ghost:
  • Mention is made of Helen going lobster potting with a man named Garth, although we never see him on screen.
  • Although Julie has an escort with her, we never see him as he's quickly arrested for car theft.
• Gray Rain of Depression: When the party finally ends, it is raining. It does stop, but only for Laura and Michael, who have decided to reconcile and even get the opportunity to see a rainbow. By the time the more significantly depressed Brittas, Helen, and Carole decide to leave, the rain has started up again.
• Groin Attack: Implied with Ronald during his trip through the vents, due to the camera panning to a split there.
• Hairpin Lockpick: Ronald manages to cut the suggestion box loose by using a hairpin from the notice board beside him.
• Happy Flashback: A flashback is used when Laura gives Brittas the pictures of him building the arbor, showing that he enjoyed Laura's company there.
• Harassing Phone Call: Carole is given a phone call after she releases her personal information through the newspaper. Whilst the unseen person on the other side claims that they're using Carole's answers for a medical survey, they seem remarkably interested in finding out Carole's breast size and are disappointed in the fact that she wears tights...
• Help, I'm Stuck!: Ronald gets his hand stuck in the complaints box.
• Idle Rich: It's revealed that Michael is completely reliant on his father's money for his wealth - when his father cuts his money off of him, he's left destitute as a result.
• It's Quiet… Too Quiet: After several minutes of leaving Laura alone with Michael, Brittas notices that it has gotten too quiet and barges into his Manager's Office to see if she's having a problem. Unfortunately for him, the silence is coming from the fact that the two have decided to reconcile.
• Last-Second Photo Failure: Laura gives Brittas a Photo Memento of the time he built an arbor for her. In the ensuing Flashback, we see Brittas setting up the camera and getting the photo taken with Laura, only to decide to shove into her at the last second.
• Love-Obstructing Parents: It's revealed that Carole's mother canceled her wedding to Ronald as she didn't like the fact that he was the son of a rag n' bone man.
• May–December Romance: Edward is much, much older than Linda.
• Message in a Bottle: Colin asks Pauline out by writing a message and putting it into an empty milk bottle for the milkman to collect.
• Mistaken for Cheating: Brittas has been spending time at Laura's house whilst his family is away, leading the staff members to believe that he's having an affair with her, a belief not helped by the fact that Laura has previously been shown to have romantic feelings towards him. In truth however, Brittas was only over to build an arbor and mitigate his loneliness, although the episode does hint that he is beginning to gain romantic feelings for her.
• Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: It's Brittas' tossing of Ronald's engagement ring into the complaint box that leads to Ronald getting stuck in the vents at the end of the episode.
• Noodle Incident: Michael apparently tried to win back Laura after the events of "Sex, Lies and Red Tape", only for Laura to tell him that she never wanted to see him again whilst throwing stuff at him. It's even cited as the reason why Laura is seen with an "I Don't Trust Men" badge on her locker during the events of Series 4.
• One-Shot Character: Pauline, Ronald Sudbury, and Edward.
• Parental Marriage Veto: Carole's relationship with Ronald actually made it as far as the proposal stage, but Carole's mother forced her to return the ring, not wanting her to marry the son of a rag n' bone man.
• Parental Savings Splurge: Carole takes money from her son Ben's piggy bank to get food for Michael, which Brittas takes offense to as the cash was intended to be Ben's Christmas money.
• Photo Memento: Laura gives Brittas some photographs from the time he spent building an arbor for her, with the intention that he keeps these photos as a memento of the hard work he did.
• Piggy Bank: Carole owns a pig-shaped object used to store Ben's Christmas money, which she takes some money from to pay Michael for food in the canteen.
• Questioning Title?: The name of the episode is "Shall We Dance?".
• Retcon: This episode marks the first reference to Brittas and Helen having four children (as opposed to five in earlier episodes).
• Shipping Torpedo: Colin is the one person not interested in the idea of Brittas and Laura being a couple, arguing that he's too Happily Married to Helen to do such a thing and believing that it would go against his personal integrity.
• Shout-Out: The name of the episode is a reference to the movie Shall We Dance?.
• Stood Up: Carole ends up believing that Ronald had stood her up for the ball, leaving her upset. In truth, Ronald had made it into the centre but was stuck in the vent and thus never made it to Carole.
• Take Our Word for It: We never see what exactly Michael says to Laura in the Manager's Office, only that it was enough to convince her, who had previously never wanted to see him again, to take him back. The most we get is Laura telling Brittas that Michael promised her that he wouldn't cheat on her again.
• They Wasted a Perfectly Good Sandwich: Michael hasn't quite finished eating the food prepared for him in the canteen when Colin shows up to take him to Brittas, but Colin is quite insistent that Brittas wants him that minute.
• Teacher/Student Romance: Edward is Linda's former headmaster... and current lover.
• Too Desperate to Be Picky: It's a sign of how poverty-stricken Michael is at the moment when he finds a half-eaten rusk left by Carole's infant daughter Emily to be a perfectly acceptable item to eat.
• Uncertain Doom: Ronald is still trying to get through the vents when the episode ends. Despite his determination to see Carole, he never appears again, which suggests that he somehow died in the vents, but he's also never seen actually dying on-screen.
• Vanity License Plate: Ronald has one reading "RAG 1".
• Vomit Discretion Shot: Helen enters the leisure centre covered in vomit and baby food upon her return from her trip to Cornwall.
• What Does She See in Him?: Laura decides to get back together with Michael in spite of Michael's cheating ways. A confused Brittas asks why she would do that considering how poorly he treated her, to which she replies that despite everything, she does still love him.
  Mr. Brittas: You're taking him back?
  Laura: Yes.
  Mr. Brittas: But why? I mean, you're intelligent, quite attractive, fairly neatly turned out...
  Laura: Thank you.
  Mr. Brittas: You could have had anyone, anyone you wanted and you chose him. I don't understand it.
  Laura: It's because I love him. I know it would be much easier if I didn't, if I loved someone honest, hard-working, trustworthy. But I love Michael.

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