'Girls Unite: the End of Jadeite': Usagi starts a feminist movement, Rei shoots some policemen, and Jadeite is defeated by the power of Jet-Fu. Queen Beryl turns Jadeite into a human popsicle as punishment, Nephrite makes his first cameo appearance.
'Shingoís Love: the Grieving Doll': Usagi's brother crushes on a girl that makes creepy dolls that turn creepier when The Dark Kingdom gets their hands on them. Shingo's not much of a sculptor but his heart's in the right place.
'Wish Upon a Star: Naruís First Love': Usagi goes on a date with two boys, Nephrite learns the meaning of love on the run, and Naru robs her mom's jewelry store after concluding that the Silver Crystal is there.
'Naruís Tears: Nephrite Dies for Love': Nephrite loses his edge and gets ganked, and Naru cries her eyes out when her older boyfriend fades away, finally understanding The Power of Love. Not even that irritating English dub voice for Naru ruins the many feels this episode provokes.
'Jupiter, the Powerful Girl in Love': Usagi runs afoul of some street toughs, but Mako keeps it street. A man's telekinetic skill at crane games turns out to be a result of an evil crystal.
'The Painting of Love: Usagi and Mamoru Get Closer': Usagi misplaces an important magical artifact and reenacts Duck Amuck with a demon who used to be a reclusive painter whose artwork only got popular because she didn't go by her real name (just like almost every celebrity ever). And Sailor Moon actually saves Tuxedo Mask for a change.
'Total Chaos: The Messy Love Rectangle': Mamoru thinks Motoki is weird for dating a fellow university student instead of Middle School students. That's the opposite of weird, you creepazoid, but hey, that's Japan for ya. Meanwhile, Makoto enters housewife mode to try and seduce the video game arcade clerk, which is also kinda messed up...
'Loved and Chased: Luna's Worst Day Ever': Luna finds herself dragged back into the street cat turf wars due to her forbidden love with the feline kingpin, leading to a wacky adventure across the city — with the Sailor Guardians and Zoisite along for the ride.
'Umino's Resolve: I'll Protect Naru': Usagi decides to play matchmaker for Umino and Naru by encouraging Umino to be brave and strong like Tuxedo Mask. It doesn't go as planned. Zoisite uses dirty tricks to steal the yellow crystal.
'Enter Venus, the Last Sailor Guardian': The villain's most successful plan yet revolves primarily around cross-dressing, and they would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for that meddling Sailor V!
'The Sparkling Silver Crystal: The Moon Princess Appears': Despite mounting evidence, Usagi still can't figure out who Tuxedo Mask is until it's basically too late. Zoisite tops the charts with two named character kills, making him more effective than 99% of villains in pretty much all media.
'Returning Memories: Usagi and Mamoru's Past': Tuxedo Mask gets pretty kidnapped, and Zoisite gets pretty dead. Sailor Moon has a mental break over being The Moon Princess and humanity's only hope for survival as Kunzite beats the rest of the Sailor Scouts senseless before she snaps out of it.
'Usagiís Confusion: Is Tuxedo Mask Evil?': Usagi is feeling a bit bummed over losing Mamoru and her new responsibilities, so Minako takes her out to get her hair did...and all the hairstylists turn into the unholy union between a Barbie salon playset and a G1 Transformer. Meanwhile, Tuxedo Mask has totally defected to the Dark Kingdom. Oh dear.
'Let's Become a Princess: Usagi's Bizarre Training': Usagi enrolls in a program on how to act like a proper lady. Tuxedo Mask and Kunzite work at cross purposes, while an oyster-based demon lady shoots snot out of her boobs and turns her star students into the latest works of art for Madame Tussaud's museum.
'The Snow, the Mountains, Friendship and Monsters': The crew go skiing, and it goes as well as you might expect. Usagi employs her secret flailing technique and sets a land speed record, and Rei gets over Tuxedo Mask and way into that Suicidal Shrine Guy. No accounting for taste...
'Paired with a Monster: Mako, the Ice Skating Queen': There are free skating lessons at a local rink by a pair of Olympic athletes. Usagi and one of the demons gets upset at Mako after she deadlifts a pretty-boy skater, showing girls everywhere the fun side of emasculating men. We witness an awesome demonic transformation sequence, and learn why short skirts might not be the best cold weather gear.
'The Legendary Lake Yokai: The Bond of Usagiís Family': Usagi's family goes on a lake trip to a hot spring. Endymion wakes up an ancient spirit and immediately regrets it because of her incredibly irritating voice acting. The Sailor Soldiers appear to be stalking Usagi and just waiting for her to screw up. Some friends they are.
'Sailor Venusís Past: Minakoís Tragic Love'note unaired in America: We learn about Sailor V's history as a badass vigilante, learn she can survive a grenade at close range, and witness somebody actually being mature about a relationship for a change. Usagi transforms in a sailor that isn't Sailor Moon.
'Usagi Abandoned: The Falling-Out of the Sailor Guardians': The Sailor Soldiers finally chuck Sailor Moon out for incompetence. We meet a ninja demon chick posing as a tabloid reporter with a strange verbal tic (and an even stranger work outfit), and it turns out Sailor Moon has customized stationery.
'Usagiís Eternal Wish: a Brand New Life': Sailor Moon redeems Endymion, becomes the Princess, and presses the Reset Button located directly in Queen Beryl/Metaria's face. That's the Power of Love, folks!note In America, this and the previous episode air as one episode — "Day of Destiny" — due to all the scenes of death and violence that had to be cut. Buncha cowards.
Sailor Moon R
The second series, 43 episodes (episodes 47-89 overall)
'Moon Returns: The Mysterious Aliens Appear': While the former Sailor Scouts and Usagi are enjoying life as normal girls, a pair of plant aliens show up and immediately drag things into some super dumb relationship nonsense. Apparently all you need to be a vampire is to yell "Vampire!" as if you were a Pokemon. Luna is forced to restore Usagi's memories, power, and the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder that accompanies it.
'Usagiís Crisis: The Tiara Stops Working': It sure is the '90s as Usagi goes to a "virtual reality" arcade. Usagi tries and fails to rekindle the romance between her and Mamoru, and has some performance issues regarding her tiara. And wait, how the heck is Mamoru not Moonlight Knight?
'A New Transformation: Usagi's Power Up': On Cherry Blossom Day, the villains unleash a freaky ghost lady that kicks the Sailor Soldiers around a bit, necessitating Sailor Moon go on a vision quest to get a shiny new wand to beat them up with.
'Is Seijuro the Moonlight Knight? Mako on Fire': Mako thinks the alien dude might be Moonlight Knight and goes on a lunch date with him, while Usagi searches for food after forgetting her lunch. Later, the sailor scouts fight a cardian who would be right at home in a hair metal band.
'An Angel? A Devil? Mysterious Girl From the Sky': A tiny, somehow even more irritating version of Usagi retcons her way into Usagi's life at the point of a gun, on the run from a team of evil, tastelessly dressed aerobics instructors (Cocktail waitresses? Hookers?) from the future.
'The Friendship of the Sailor Senshi! Goodbye Ami': Ami very nearly takes a cue from Mamoru and tries to bail to Germany to be a doctor, but is stopped by some last-ditch emotional manipulation. Meanwhile, the rest of the Sailor Senshei nearly freeze to death in an ice cream shop possessed by the Dark Moon Clan.
'Awaken, Sleeping Beauty! Mamoru's Distress': Mamoru still blows off Usagi, who becomes so depressed she eats her feelings and lets a droid named Hypnotica put her in a deep sleep. Will Mamoru swallow his pride and rescue his true love? Of course he will!
'A Battle of the Flames of Love! Mars vs Koan': Rei and Rubeus still treat their respective love interests like crap, but Rubeus wins when he disses Koan for wearing too much perfume and make-up and, to add injury to insult, hands Koan a bomb as a break-up gift. Cold.
'For Friendship! Ami and Berthier Clash': Ami enters a chess tournament — and so does Berthier, who's on thin ice after a failed capture. And speaking of thin ice, Berthier attempts to freeze herself and everyone around her when Calaveras and Petz refuse to help her.
'Defeat Rubeus! The Battle in Space': Sailor Moon and Chibusa teleport up to space. Rubeus does what every sci-fi villain ought to do and kicks her ass with the artificial gravity of his ship, but after some clever sabotage, Rubeus is left to die on his exploding spaceship.
'A Mysterious New Warrior, Sailor Pluto Appears': The Sailor Scouts take a journey into Chibiusa's mind to save her from a demon. Usagi must have spent her experience points from defeating Ruben because she swordfights Death, gives an awesome speech, and is generally bad-ass the entire episode. Wait, what show is this again?
'Magical Power of Darkness! Esmeraude's Invasion': Sailor Moon decides to drown her sorrows in sweets. The new villain comes along and joins her. The droid of the week is made out of sugar, so Sailor Mercury finally gets to do something useful with her water powers.
'Artemis' Adventure! The Evil Animal Kingdom': Artemis has had enough of Luna being awful to him and wanders off to prove his feline masculinity. This leads him to the world's most awesome animal shelter, which is promptly taken over by the Black Moon. People getting peed on makes a triumphant return.
'Terrifying Illusion! Ami All Alone': The villains strike Ami where she's weak — right in the friendship, which turns her into a paranoid schizophrenic when she sees images of her friends bad-mouthing her and violently beats them. Fortunately, she sees through the illusions and defeats the monster of the episode. Moving on...
'Dark Gate Completed? A Grade School in Danger': The villains turn Chibiusa's grade school into Thunderdome. The Sailor Scouts straight up murder the bad guys this week. No, they weren't demons or robots, but they just got Moon Princess Eliminated for real.
'The Shocking Future! Demande's Dark Ambition': In the grim darkness of the third millennium, there is only war. Future!Usagi is of course sleeping through it. The gang meet a hologram of Future!Tuxedo Mask, who finally explains everything. Rei asks the important questions about Chibiusa's conception, while Demande abducts Usagi and brainwashes her into kissing him. Gross.
'Wiseman's Evil Hand! Chibiusa Disappears': Chibiusa wanders off and gets kidnapped (yup, definitely related to Usagi). Meanwhile, Esmeralda goes to Wiseman for a power-up, and enjoys it for all but two minutes.
'Saphir Dies! Wiseman's Trap': Saphir decides that maybe listening to the Evil Space Lich is a bad idea and defects to hang out with the Weird Sisters (one of whom he used to date). In response, Wiseman energy beams him to death in front of his own brother.
'The Rod of Love is Born! Usagi's New Transformation': There's a house filled with stray cats... and an evil catgirl demon which beats up the Sailor Scouts like it was no thing. The new Sailor Silhouettes leave the team hanging. Usagi and Mamoru get together to create a new transformation sequence and final attack!
'A Beautiful Boy? The Secret of Haruka Tenou': We're introduced to Sailors Uranus and Nepture. Haruka begins her seduction of the entire cast with Usagi and Minako. Features probably the silliest monster design in the entire series so far, and that's saying something.
'Protect the Pure Heart! A Three-Way Battle': The villains target Motoki's sister Unazuki and steal her heart. The new Sailor Scouts turn out to not actually be in the business of saving lives. The monster this week really sucks. Someone almost gets kissed.
'Leave it to the Moon for Love Aid': Umino and Naru are having relationship trubs. Usagi "helps". Haruka and Michiru are objectively better at romance than anyone else. I have the numbers right here.
'Cold-Hearted Uranus? Makoto in Trouble': Makoto falls head over heels for Haruka. Yes, sure, you just admire her. Right. We get some hints as to the difficult job of the Outer Sensei and their cynical worldview. The villain this week turns out to be weirdly adorable under her flasher coat.
'The Labyrinth of Water! Ami the Targeted': Shocking everyone, Ami comes into direct contact with Haruka and Michiru and doesn't fall in love with either of them. Either she's the only straight Sailor Scout, or she's some kind of robot. The water-themed enemy of the week can't swim.
'Usagi in Tears! Glass Shoes for her Birthday': I'm not saying she's a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke... uh, Usagi she gets Mamoru to buy her some glass slippers as a birthday present, and then they immediately get turned into a demon. This is why we can't have nice things, Usagi!
'The Pure Heart Stolen! Usagi's Biggest Crisis': Picking up from the previous episode...without her transforming trinket, Usagi can finally be replaced as Sailor Moon by somebody competent (Read: LOL, no!) The new Sailor Scouts take out the first of the villains. Four more to go!
'The Arrival of the Tiny Pretty Senshi': At a local festival, the new arrival from the Witches 5 dispenses with the BS and employs drive-by shooting. Chibiusa pops back in from the future with Baby's First Special Attack.
'Wanting More Power! Mako's Lost Path': Makoto takes a sabbatical in the country after fearing she may not be strong enough. Come on, a girl like her, who fought while reeling from blood loss, took out a crane game monster before getting her powers, and can lift a pretty-boy Russian figure skater?
'Shocking Moment! Mutual Identities Revealed': Apparently, being targeted for having a pure heart is just like being the first in your circle of friends to wear a bra or lose your virginity and not being targeted means you're a late bloomer. At least that's what Minako thinks in this episode...
'The Grail's Divine Power! Moon's Double Transformation': Continuing from the previous episode, Haruka and Michiru aren't convinced that Sailor Moon is their messiah. Meanwhile, Eudial picks a bad time to freak out over snails, and that time is "while driving on a cliff overlooking the ocean in a car with failing brakes."
'Shadow of Silence!? The Pale Glimmer of a Firefly': Worried over her seizures and blackouts, Hotaru takes a page from Mamoru in the previous season and breaks off her friendship with Chibi-Usa with nothing to go on but the old "I'm afraid I might hurt you" excuse. Also, we get a great back view of Harukanote which sadly, is cut on the American TV version, but fortunately, is available on the uncut DVDs.
'Higher, Stronger! Cheers by Usagi': A runner can't keep up when Witches 4 goes after him for his pure heart. Also, Mimette enjoys her game of Twister a bit too much in both the Japanese version and the English dub note (with the English version somehow making it more sexual)
'Awakening of the Messiah of Silence? Stars of Destiny': Rei's Terminator 2 style visions of death and destruction begin to come to fruition when the Inner and Outer Senshei discover who the Sovereign of Silence is. American viewers also learn that two red stars tastefully pasted on a pair of bare breasts is too much even for Cartoon Network's censors, which is why this highly-anticipated episode was temporarily banned.
'Believe in Love! Ami, a Kind-Hearted Soldier': Continuing from the previous episode, the Witches 5 is now down to 2 (and the next one gets destroyed just as quick as the previous one), Sailor Senshei use Tellu's student ID to investigate the mysterious Mugen School, and Ami worries over a student who tied with her as the highest-grading student in class.
'A Bright Shooting Star! Saturn, and the Messiah': Sailors Uranus, Neptune, and Moon are the only ones who can stop Mistress 9 and Pharaoh 90...and, if their teamwork is anything to go by, then humanity has nothing to do but put their heads between their legs and kiss their sorry asses goodbye.
'A New Life! Time for Separation of the Destined Stars': Haruka and Michiru are pissed over Usagi's little "use the Purity Chalice to turn one of their greatest enemies back into a baby to give her a second chance at life" stunt and decide to hand her ass to her in a junkyard fight...until Usagi proves what Haruka and Michiru should have known from the start about their messiah.
'Self-Awareness as a Soldier! Strength Lies in the Pure Heart': Once again, Chibi-Usa is called home to the future, but thinks the upcoming going-away party is the Inner and Outer Senshei's way of saying, "Go away, you little brat." And don't be fooled by Chibi-Usa's "That's the end of the story! Thank you for watching!" ending. There's about two more seasons of this show left.
Sailor Moon S Movie: Luna falls for a human scientist and the Sailor Senshei get their asses kicked by ice demons. Way to sacrifice, Luna.
Sailor Moon SuperS
The fourth series, 39 episodes (episodes 128-166 overall)
'Meeting of Fate! The Night Where a Pegasus Flies': Chibi-Usa has a dream where a flying horse comes to her. In the dream, the horse tells Chibi-Usa not to tell anyone of their encounter. Hey, does Chris Hansen go after mythical equine pedophiles? Also, we get some new villains, and these three hang out at a bar in order to pick their victim of the day.
'Super Transformations Again! Pegasus' Power': Rita (Andrew's girlfriend from way back in Sailor Moon Classic during the Rainbow Crystals arc) returns and gets targeted by a hot redhead with razorblade earrings who shackles her to a board and forces her dream mirror out of her chest. And you thought Fifty Shades of Grey was needlessly and explicitly sexual.