Recap / Mystery Science Theater 3000 S 04 E 12 Hercules And The Captive Women

Film watched: Hercules And The Captive Women

The Segments:

  • Gypsy begs Joel to let her join them in the theater. Tom and Crow are against the idea but eventually relent.

Segment 1/Invention Exchange
  • Frank created the Lawn Baby, a baby seat attached to the top of a lawn mower, on his own, and it shows, with baby Melvin nearly getting hurt. To get early musical child development going, Joel created the Womb-Mate, headphones a pregnant woman places around her belly.

Segment 2
  • The 'Bots wonder if good-natured brawling like the film describes actually exists. A good-natured brawl results, with the Mads crowing that Joel has finally cracked.

Segment 3
  • Crow has some interesting facts to present about Hercules and his son Hymus that he's honestly reading from his book and totally not making up at all.

Segment 4
  • Crow and Tom created the talking Hercules action figure — tellingly, its one phrase is, "I'm so sleepy, I can barely keep my eyes open."

Segment 5
  • Joel hosts a funeral for the final Hercules movie, followed by a lively party. Frank is torn to shreds by his invention, but at least baby Melvin is still safe.

The Mystery Science Theater 3000 presentation contains examples of:

  • Actually Pretty Funny: Gypsy gets in one moderately amusing riff during her brief time in the theater.
    Gypsy: Hey, get this - they're steam cleaning the horses!
  • Cannot Tell a Joke: Gypsy in the theater.
    Crow: C'mon Gypsy, let's have it!
    Gypsy: Uhh, okay. Um... (sees Leon Selznick's credit) Look at that dumb name. That's so stupid!
    Crow: Oh, brother...
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Dr. F takes good care of his baby and is furious that Frank would try to install a car-seat on a lawnmower. "You could have hurt baby Melvin!"
  • The "Fun" in "Funeral": Joel and the Bots celebrate the last of the Hercules movies in the style of a wake — a very irreverent, sardonic wake.
    Servo: Hercules, wherever you are out there, I'd just like to say... Bite me!
  • Harmful to Minors: Frank's invention exchange, a baby car-seat that fits on top of a lawnmower. Dr. F is not amused.
  • I Have to Go Iron My Dog: Gypsy, after having her fill of Captive Women (About five minutes).
    • Supposedly based on how her actor, Jim Mallon, would usually be one of the first writers to leave during the first screening of a movie.
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: Quite a few, and they start early.
    A map of Greece is displayed, a Bonanza joke is made
    Servo: If that map burns there will be a Greece fire!
    (Joel and Crow laugh)
    Crow: Good one!
  • It Is Pronounced Tro PAY: Joel, bless his heart, absolutely butchers the pronunciation of the famous 2001: A Space Odyssey song, "Thus Spake Zarathustra" (as "Zatharatu"). Could also be a Shout-Out, as the way he says it kinda-sorta rhymes with "Nosferatu".
  • Lost Food Grievance: Joel and the bots improvise a skit where the sailors on Hercules's ship get into an argument over a missing dinner roll and fruit cup.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: Subverted by Crow and Servo's Hercules action figure. Unfortunately all they ever see Herc do is lie around being seduced by Evil Queens, so their figure only brings the "mundane".
  • Sarcasm-Blind:
    Servo: (pretending to read the hieroglyphs in the opening credits) One time, this big lobster came and attacked a lady, but Mister Ed saved her.
    Gypsy: Really?
    Joel: I think he's kidding, Gypsy.
  • Something Completely Different: Gypsy joins Joel, Tom, and Crow for the first few minutes of the movie.
  • They Killed Kenny Again: TV's Frank gets shredded alive by a lawnmower.
  • This Is Gonna Suck: During the opening scene, Crow sees a man get up from his seat and approach a battering ram a group of men are carrying, and hopes it's not Hercules. The man proves he is Hercules by pushing down the battering ram effortlessly, driving Crow into despair.
  • Uranus Is Showing: Several of the riffs come from this, particularly the "blood of Uranus" line.
    Ismene: This day is dedicated to Uranus!
    Crow: The day is dedicated to his —?
    Joel: That's enough.