We begin with a first, the first time producer Ian Brennan runs through the previous week, thought not at the breakneck pace we'd come to expect. Proper business begins with Will putting up a flier for an "Invitational", followed by a surprise, Fuinn doing "Don't Stop Believing". Unfortunately, this becomes a case of What Could Have Been, as Q escapes to bow before the porcelain gods. At any rate, after mentioning the elephant in the room (which is not Kurt's Transparent Closet, but Rachel quitting), and Will failing to convince anyone Rachel's not the lynchpin of the group, we then see Finn tell Will that he's concerned about Q's moving around.
Speaking of, we cut to a diner where Terri is getting her pig on. Will correctly asks why she hasn't gotten morning sickness, whereas Quinn's puking at 15 minute intervals. Terri neatly dodges with a cover story about 30 minute upchucking at work, followed by the waiter arriving. Not just any waiter, but a Schuester expat who went to Carmel, and is now a 22-year old senior who fails every year so he can stay in Vocal Adrenaline. This cause the wheels in Will's head to shake the dust off as we hit the Title Card.
Cut to Finn in Emma's office, after Will spilled the beans about Fuinn, Emma points out that some colleges give full rides for the musically inclined, suggesting that a major competition win might raise eyebrows. Finn then asks if ND can win without Rachel; Emma telling him yes, while we cut to her telling Will the more accurate answer of longshot. Emma suggests finding her.
Cut to Rachel and I immediately feel sorry for her as she's being "interviewed" by Jacob Ben Isreal, who stares at her chest then tries to get her to strip. Thankfully? he's distracted by Sandy, who usher's him out while Finn arrives. Using trickery we'd wish we'd see more often, he convinces her to run lines, preferably in "low lighting". This causes the bottom to fall out of Rachel's undershorts.
Cut back to Emma's office, where Will asks for a file on a student from 15 years hence, April Rhodes; evidentally the Ur-Example of Glee back in the day, who dropped out three credit shy of graduating. Emma of course is not amused at Will drooling over someone not her. She then says reaching back into the past is dangerous; quoting her own experience with online dating (which supposedly took place in 1997), meeting the man who would kill Gianni Versace (nope, not kidding). Will finds her MySpace, starts chatting.
Cut to the high rent district of Lima. Will arrives at the front door of a drunk Kristin Chenoweth, who naturally doesn't remember him. After putting the drunken moves on him, we reveal that it's not even her house as we see a realtor who apparently has had runins with April before. On the curb, we find out that April and her boyfriend dropped out to go to Broadway only to sling hash in Cleveland. Will offers her the chance to graduate. She accepts.
Room with Choirs and things. Will introduces April to ND, who are naturally perplexed, except of course for Puck who is seen planning his method of seduction. After being told she's no Rachel, April calls upon "Tinkles" Ellis to prove them wrong. This being Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth, it goes as you'd expect.
What wasn't expected was for this to become a symbolic battle of pipes between April and Rachel, as we see her on stage. In any event, Kurt is brought to tears as we cut to Will's Spanish class (remember that?). As one would expect, April does well on stage, in class, not so much. Afterwards, Will tells April that ND's still not sure about her, and that she needs to win them over.
Cue the "You Make My Dreams Come True"-led montage as we see April offer Kurt booze and skin mags, Mercedes and Tina lessons on how to smuggle items under skirts (yes), and herself to Puck and the Titans. Cut to Rachel rehearsing only to have Sandy call it terrible. We then see that Sandy wants the part and Rachel can't get a break.
Cut to Finchel running lines, Rachel saying Finn should join the musical, Finn saying he'll do it if Rachel comes back. Finn then offers to take her bowling, saying she needs to relax. Rachel immediately accepts, though we sadly all know she'd rather play with Finn's balls than bowling balls. Will and April spoil the mood, April needing to rehearse the female part of "DSB", twisting the knife of Rachel quitting just a bit deeper.
Cut to Emma running into Kurt, clearly hungover and we again spot the inevitable from a mile away, as with the Non Sequitur, *Thud*-like words Oh Bambi, I cried so hard when those hunters shot your mommy, he puts Emma's sensible heels on the business end of a Technicolor Yawn. Emma is, "displeased", as a trip to the ER and four decontamination showers will attest to. Cut to the Teacher's Lounge as Emma and Will realize April's more harm than help. Emma, as she will do many times in their relationship, gets to the root of the problem, saying that with April there, she's taking a spot away from someone, and that Will's subconscious desire to relive his glory days is once again affecting his job.
Cut to Sandy and the slow mo Large Ham YOU SUCK on Rachel. In the bathroom, she is eyes deep in tissues when April arrives and they lament. All well and good until April mentions Finn at which point Rachel bares claws and a "The Reason You Suck" Speech. April asserts her own dominance and the fight is on.
Huey Lewis brings us to your basic 70's-style Bowlarama and Rachel apparently hesitant to put her fingers in the holes. Finn provides the basics, only for Rachel to gutter. On the other end of the lanes we see April and Will. He tells her to stop being a bad influence and she agrees; he then follows with some slight hero worship, saying she's the reason he joined Glee and that he regretted never singing with her. Conveniently, there's a small bar with stage (though this is bingo night), and this leads to a little number with Heart.
Back to Finchel, enjoying non-vegan pizza as Rachel asks about Glee, Finn saying everyone misses her. Rachel misses it but feels she's not appreciated there. Finn does, naturally. Also, naturally, Rachel gets a strike and thus kissing ensues, Rachel stating she'll quit the play, Finn hugging her but giving an Oh, Crap! expression behind her back.
In that space where people sing in harmony, ND are speculating about Q's illness when Puck spills the beans about her expecting, though of course saying Finn's the father because unnecessary drama pads out episodes. Rachel has perfect timing in her return, as ND inform her of the false state of affairs. Finn is dropping off a scholarship application in Emma's office and is walking down the hall unaware of the hell that awaits him. Sure enough, Hurricane Berry touches down on him in all her glory, complete with slapping. And that reminds us; supposedly knocks up girlfriend while messing around. Yes ladies and gentlemen, for the first time, we say the following: Finn, you're an idiot.
And to make matters worse for him, he proceeds to reinforce his idiocy by admitting the only reason he wanted back in glee was so he could get a music scholarship. All Rachel wanted was honesty, but Finn was too stupid to even do that. Nice job, Finnegan.
And to drive home the point, Madame de Tracksuit arrives tearing down the invitational posters as Rachel demands changes to the musical, so Sue grants her total control. Shockingly, Rachel is still not happy.
And then... New Directions. In cowboy gear. Singing "meows". Murphy, why do you do this to us. And as an aside, Brad Ellis, you poor bastard. Will says the house is packed as April arrives infinite sheets to the wind, as kissing Puck demonstrates. Emma arrives and says April almost ran her over and she needs to go Will says if April doesn't go on, none of them do; Emma dismissing him thusly.
Cut to them on stage getting their Underwood on. Afterwards, we see Will pleased, an arriving Rachel, not so much. Cut to April exiting the commode where Will intercepts her and tells her she's done. Surprisingly, April agrees; she had her moment, but one look at the other faces and she knew her moment was up. She departs as ND change outfits, Will announcing she's out. The others are naturally crestfallen until an 11th-Hour Ranger arrives and if you can't figure out who it is than you haven't been paying attention. Will takes a seat with Emma as we close out with the first of the signature "episode ending performances tinged with emotions pertaining to both the episode and the ongoing arcs", the hallmark "Somebody to Love".
Next Time: Terri infiltrates the nurse's office to keep an eye on Will, in the process handing out some Vitamin Glee.
Songs in this episode include:
- "Don't Stop Believing"
- "Maybe This Time" from Cabaret, performed by April Rhodes and Rachel Berry
- "Cabaret" from Cabaret, performed by Rachel Berry
- "Alone" by Heart, performed by April Rhodes and Will Schuester
- "Last Name" by Carrie Underwood, performed by April Rhodes and New Directions
- "Somebody to Love" by Queen, performed by New Directions
Tropes appearing in this episode:
- The Alcoholic : April Rhodes.
- Big Fancy House : Where April is squatting.
- BSOD : April has one while looking at the faces of the New Directions and realizing she's had her moment.
- Early-Bird Cameo : "You Make My Dreams" by Hall and Oates on the soundtrack, which New Directions will perform in Season 3.
- Fallen Princess : April was on top in high school, but has had a long run of bad luck, bad romances, and poverty.
- Non Sequitur, *Thud* : When Kurt throws up on Emma.
- Pink Is Feminine : April's outfit for her final performance of the episode. Everyone else is wearing dark blue.
- Race Lift : An In-Universe example when April is invited to perform in an all-white production of The Wiz.
- Sexy Shirt Switch : April coming out of the locker room wearing a football jersey.
