February 10, 2013
After a special Valentine's opening, Lois convinces Peter into spending the day in bed. As Peter tries to make things romantic, Lois finds that spending the day together isn't as going as she planned. Peter gets a call from an ex- girlfriend who tries to separate Peter from Lois. At the end of the day, they have sex as Peter recalls having sex with another woman at their wedding.
Meg heads out for a date with a guy from the internet who claims she is prettier than her picture. On their date, Meg finds things they have in common but gets knocked out and awakes in a motel room to find her date stole her kidney. Despite her missing kidney, she holds her date to a promise of a full day together. True to his word, they have a full day's date. After their day out, he gives Meg back her kidney and they kiss, and Meg stores her kidney in her room as a reminder.
Following a one-night's stand, Quagmire's date curses him that he'll one day get what he deserves. Following a shock on his date's tampon warmer, he suddenly appears as a woman to everyone else, fooling even Joe who hits on her. When he goes to the doctor, Dr. Hartman wants to give him a pelvic exam. Escaping, Quagmire realizes he has really been cursed and decides to make the best of things by being a lesbian.
Consuela sneaks over the border to be with her husband and Chris goes to visit Herbert but Sandy, Herbert's grand-niece falls for him. She goes to Chris and with Herbert's coaching gets a date.
Deciding to find out what love was like in the 60s, Stewie falls for a girl on a time travel trip and follows her. Opening up, he kisses her only to find out that it really Lois. After throwing up, he returns to the present where Brian makes things worse.
Meanwhile, Stewie decides to help Brian get to the bottom of his lack of success with women and invites all of Brian's former girlfriends over to discuss what went wrong with their relationships. Brian gets angry and lashes out at the criticism and starts to dish out criticism of his own. He finally turns on Stewie as well who sends the women after Brian and chase him through the streets as they pass the Kool-Aid Man and his parents waiting for his date, a bottle of Yoo-Hoo who acts like a stereotypical black girl.
Mayor West finds that Carol is spending time with another Mayor and vows to win her back, engaging in a battle until he wins.
At the end of the day, everyone enjoys a great Valentine's Day, including Brian sleeping with all of his past girlfriends, Meg getting her kidney back, and Chris kissing Herbert's grand-niece while Herbert watches.
Valentine's Day in Quahog provides examples of (YMMV tropes go HERE!!!)
- Body Horror: Meg's conjoined twin that was found in her body.
- Call Back: Brian's dates from the past include Tina (the prostitute Brian dated when he was addicted to cocaine on "The Thin White Line"), Seabreeze (Carter's prized dog from "Screwed the Pooch"), Jillian (the Dumb Blonde who dumped Brian as seen in "Moving Out [Brian's Song]"), Brooke (from "Brian the Bachelor"), Tracynote ("The Former Life of Brian"), Carolyn ("Love Blactually"), Rita ("Brian's Got a Brand New Bag"), Kate the blind girl ("The Blind Side") and Miss Emily (the negligent preschool owner in "Be Careful What You Fish For").
- Brother Chuck: Shauna Parks (the black teacher from "Peter's Got Woods") isn't in the group of Brian's past girlfriends.
- Foot Popping: The baby Mayor West makes out with.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Quagmire being viewed as a woman so he can experience how its like for a woman to be treated badly.
- Subverted, as he just uses his new form to become a lesbian, with him remaining a Karma Houdini and maintaining Status Quo.
- plus remember he's only "seen" as a woman so in all truth NOTHING has changed. He still technically has a penis and is still a straight rapist, if only in his eyes.
- Brian getting called out for being a lousy partner, Brian calling out his ex-girlfriends for being lousy partners, and Brian getting chased down the street.
- Organ Theft: The guy Meg goes out with steals one of her kidneys, but he gives it back to her at the end of the episode.
- Pet the Dog: Brian complimenting Meg's dress before her date.
- Meg's story (barring the fact that she had her kidney taken) could also count.
- Playing Cyrano: Herbert does it for Sandy.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Brian's dates tell him off for being a pretentious, egotistical blowhard, and Brian turns it back on them and points out their flaws.
- Something Completely Different: This episode is can best be described as The Simpsons episode "22 Short Films About Springfield" mixed with the movie Valentine's Day (or Valentine's Day if Seth MacFarlane was behind it).
- Self-Deprecation: The line in the beginning about this episode being yet another sign of Family Guy's decline in quality.
- Shout-Out: Meg's photo of herself giving a thumbs-up while torturing prisoners is a reference to the controversial Abu Ghraib photograph (with Meg as Lynnie England).
- Meg dating someone who ends up stealing her kidney was also very similar to a sketch on "Robot Chicken", where Mila Kunis played a character whose kidney was stolen by her date. The way it's done is also extremely similar.
- Quagmire's "female" name Glenda Vajmire could be a nod to Glen or Glenda?.
- Special Edition Title: The opening is replaced by a parody of the trailer for Valentine's Day.
- Take That: Arizona is described as a stare that can "shoot a Mexican for drinking from a fountain".
- Throw the Dog a Bone: Meg's date, and her getting her kidney back.
- Valentine's Day Episode
- What Happened to the Mouse?: We don't see what happened when it's revealed that the Kool-Aid man is dating the Yoo-Hoo bottle.