"Captain Eddy says 'take their dough'."
"This instrument is so annoying..."
Edd, prior to playing his pedal steel guitar.
The episode begins with the Eds working on a tire swing scam, but that quickly comes to an end when the rope holding the tire to the tree breaks and sends Edd flying. So they decide to do a cruise down the river instead. It seems like everything will go well, until the Kankers notice the Eds' "ship" and decide to do a little cruise of their own. They manage to stop the tire ship, forcing Jonny to walk the Plank (capitalization is no typo, the Kankers really do force Jonny to walk on top of Plank). Meanwhile, Eddy makes the awesome decision to pull out the bobby pin that was keeping the tire inflated, effectively destroying their ship.
Tropes:
- A Pirate 400 Years Too Late: The Kankers.
- Back Blocking: When the Kankers corner the Eds and prepare to kiss them, their backs, seen as shadowy silhouettes, block the screen, with the Kankers making kissy noises.
- The Bad Guy Wins: The Kankers sink the Eds' cruise, force Jonny and Jimmy to walk the Plank, and kiss the Eds for the first of many times to come.
- The Big Damn Kiss: The Kankers finally kiss their "boyfriends" after many failed attempts in the season.
- Blessed with Suck: Edd is apparently a master pedal steel guitarist, despite how annoying he finds it.
- Butt-Monkey: As always, Jimmy. He's captured by pirates and left to struggle in the water at the end of the episode.
- Character Catchphrase: Ed's sing-songy "Kick my feet, kick my feet, kick my feet..."
- Covered in Kisses: The Eds show up at the end of the episode and reveal their first kisses from the Kankers.
- Dreadful Musician: Inverted; Edd hates playing the pedal steel guitar, but he's quite good at it. How good? He can play it with his feet while reading a book.
- First Kiss: This is the first episode the Kankers successfully kiss their respective “boyfriends” and according to Edd it was his very first kiss ever.Edd: I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be...enjoyable.
- Forceful Kiss: Though the Kankers have threatened and attempted to kiss the Eds several times previously, this is the first time they finally successfully kiss them, leaving them Covered in Kisses as a result.
- Hope Spot: There are two moments where it seems like the Eds and the cruise will escape the Kankers. First Ed uses himself as a motor and rockets the cruise downstream, making May and Lee think they’ll get away, but Marie uses a weed wacker as their own motor to catch up and stop them. Shortly after, Jonny rips the Kankers sail, stopping them and letting the cruise get away, but when May tosses a pin into the cruise, Eddy tries to prove himself and remove it instead of leaving it, sinking the cruise and getting everyone captured.
- Impractical Musical Instrument Skills: Edd playing pedal steel guitar with his feet is the page image for a reason.
- Kick the Dog: The Kankers don't just make Jonny walk the plank, they make him walk Plank!
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The cruise would have gotten away from the Kankers safely if they had left the bobby pin May launched into it alone. But because Eddy was jealous of Jonny getting praise for saving them from the Kankers earlier, and Jimmy calling for his help as soon as the bobby pin hits, he says he'll handle it himself and pulls out the pin, ignoring Double D's warnings not to touch it. In fact, it was Eddy shouting out random seafaring directions for no reason that actually got the Kankers' attention in the first place.
- Nothing Personal: After the Kankers catch up to the Eds, splashing them in the process, Lee tells them "No hard feelings buttercups!", and May suggests they should all "kiss and make up".
- Pirate Girl: The Kanker Sisters, complete with a bed-sheet sail and a boat made out of a bed.
- Shout-Out: To old pirate films, specifically when Jonny 2x4 rips through the Kanker's sail "just like Errol Flynn" as Jimmy notes.
- Slap-Slap-Kiss: When they first catch up to the Eds cruise, splashing them and their customers in the process and making them soaked head to toe, the Kankers say they should "kiss and make up" before making kissy faces at the Eds, acting like it is just a game between them. The Kankers eventually succeed in kissing the Eds, but it is clear it is not consensual on the Eds part, and by that point, it was more of a way for the Kankers to further taunt them.
- Stunned Silence: Edd's expert skill at playing the pedal steel guitar leaves all the others staring in awe.
- "Take That!" Kiss: The Kankers dress as pirates and ruin the Eds' Cruise scam, just because they saw them travel by them from their trailer. After sinking their cruise and forcing Jonny and Jimmy to walk the plank (using Plank as the plank for further insult to injury) they corner the Eds, who are cowering in the corner, and kiss them as a way to "claim their booty".
- Terms of Endangerment: Lee calls the Eds "buttercups" when the Kankers catch up to the cruise.
- Too Dumb to Live: Eddy after pulling the hairpin from the inner tube.
- Villainous Breakdown: When the cruise starts to get out of the Kanker's reach thanks to Ed acting as a motor, Lee is seen shaking angrily and May cries out in anguish that their "treasure" is getting away. Marie is the only one to keep it together, quickly getting over her brief shock and using a weed wacker as a makeshift motor to catch up.
- The Voiceless: Nazz and Sarah this time.
