Recap: Doctor Who S33 E8 "Cold War"
aka: Doctor Who S 33 E 08 Cold War
"Hair, shoulder pads, nukes... it's the '80s. Everything is bigger."
— The Doctor
Written by Mark Gatiss
The Doctor and Clara land on a damaged nuclear Russian submarine in 1983 (instead of, as they were aiming for, Las Vegas
) as it spirals out of control into the ocean depths. They immediately get captured while the TARDIS vworps off without them, leaving them stranded in a submarine that's (a) slowly filling up with water and (b) home to a massive chunk of excavated ice with an Ice Warrior
stuck inside it. The Doctor decides to cut straight to the point and explains that he's a time traveller. He confronts the Ice Warrior as gently as possible, and learns that his name is Skaldak — the greatest war hero in Martian history. Unfortunately, one of the crew members decides to electrocute Skaldak out of sheer terror, and the Doctor realises that to the Ice Warriors, this can only be seen as a provocation into interstellar war.
Skaldak is chained up, and Clara volunteers to negotiate with him as a neutral party, someone who — unlike the crew and the Doctor — has never seen war. Skaldak sees right through her plans, and directly addresses the Doctor via Clara's headset. Clara, scared of out her mind but trying to remain stoic, soon notices that there's something wrong with Skaldak... and finds out that he's escaped from his chained-up armour, and the contraption of wires and scales is left behind as a husk. It's also sending out an interstellar distress call. It isn't being answered, and Skaldak is forced to come to terms with the idea of being the last of his kind.
While Skaldak rushes around the submarine, killing people from the shadows and dissecting them for information on mankind, the Doctor and Clara try to reason with him. Skaldak eventually learns that the submarine has nuclear warheads, and decides to blow up the Earth in retribution, preferring to go down fighting instead of dying defeated and alone. The Doctor vows that he'll gladly sacrifice himself and everyone on board if it means keeping the web of time intact. He and Clara extend the stalemate with Skaldak — with Skaldak's finger on the button the entire time — long enough for the Big Damn Heroes
to arrive: an Ice Warrior spaceship, which picked up Skaldak's distress call after all.
The Doctor explains that the TARDIS vworped off because he finally got the Hostile Action Displacement System
to work. She safely parked herself on the Pole. ... The South
- Animated Armor: Skaldak's Powered Armor suit can be remote-controlled by its master, as the crew find out. Clara has an Oh, Crap moment when the armour opens and she realises her negotiations with Skaldak are pointless, because he's already freed himself by leaving his suit and is wandering around the sub.
- Anyone Can Die: Stepashin is introduced as a significant character who, by the conventions of this kind of Doctor Who story, will be an evil xenophobic human who will hang around for a long time making things worse by inciting everyone else to violence. Skaldak kills him very early on.
- Artistic License – Ships: Despite looking like a Delta-II, the featured submarine is far more massive. For comparison, a Typhoon class is larger than a Delta-II, and yet the protagonists are dwarfed by the conning tower when standing on the bridge — not something anyone was at risk of with a Typhoon.
- Asshole Victim: Stepashin tries to strike a bargain with Skaldak, imploring him to create war so that he (Stepashin) may fight again.
- The Backwards R: According to the poster, the episode is called "COLD WAYA".
- Bait and Switch: At one point the Professor asks Clara what happens in the future. Clara can't tell him, because of Gray's Sports Almanac circumstances. He starts pressuring her until he says he wants to know if Ultravox break up. Humorously, their last recorded album was in 1984, a year after this episode takes place. And they started recording again a year before this episode was released. So yes and no.
- Big Red Button
- Blue and Orange Morality: Martian morality works differently from that of humans. Skaldak's a Martian hero who reportedly had his enemies carve his name into themselves as they died, and attacking him counts as a threat towards the entire Ice Warrior race. Unfortunately, this makes him something of a hypocrite, because he attacked them. They were just defending themselves.
- Break the Cutie: Clara sees her first dead bodies, and really needs a few minutes to try and cope with what she's seen.
- The Bus Came Back: The Ice Warriors return to the show, having last appeared in 1974's "The Monster of Peladon".
- Call Back: Once again, the Doctor has to explain to his companion that just because X didn't happen in their history doesn't mean they're actually safe. He's had the same conversation with Rose and Martha in the revival, and Sarah Jane back in "Pyramids of "Mars.
- Chewing the Scenery: Matt Smith spends the episode biting off great big chunks.
- Continuity Nod:
- As the Doctor lists off various explanations that he will not give the Captain to explain his presence in the sub, he says "no pretending to be an Earth ambassador". He used this exact alias in a previous Ice Warrior story, "The Curse of Peladon".
- There's a brief mention of Phobos as one of Skaldak's battlefields. Not only is it a genuine Martian moon, there's a Big Finish Doctor Who audio drama — "Phobos" — named after it.
- The Hostile Action Displacement System has returned.
- This is the second episode straight to possibly make reference to a previous Doctor's nickname — Grandfather last week, and the Professor in this episode.
- The episode itself is a homage to the "base-under-siege" plot that characterised many of the stories that were made during the years Patrick Troughton was the Doctor. Including the two stories the Ice Warriors themselves appeared in during this time.
- The Doctor explains to Clara how it is the Translation Matrix allows them to be speaking Russian, a more hurried version of an explanation he gave to Sarah-Jane in "The Masque of Mandragora".
- Cool Old Guy: Professor Grisenko is being genuinely nice to Clara, and even saves her life.
- Deliberate Values Dissonance: The Doctor tells the professor "I could kiss you!" The professor isn't all too bothered by the idea, since kissing on the mouth was a common gesture of friendship between men in the Soviet era. Eleven looks mildly confused and decides on "later!".
- Despair Event Horizon: Skaldak's actions suggest he is clearly in the middle of one, due to believing himself the last of his kind.
- Double Meaning Title: "Cold War" can refer to the the time period where the story takes place. Or it can refer to the Ice Warrior and/or the fact that the episode takes place underwater, which is likely to be cold. Especially below the Arctic.
- Everybody Laughs Ending: Played unusually straight... until the Doctor sarcastically joins in.
- Exposed to the Elements: Clara, expecting to arrive in Las Vegas, wears a sleeveless dress and gets promptly soaked by freezing seawater. She wears an officer's jacket for the rest of the episode. At the end, everyone goes out on the top deck of the now-surfaced submarine, in polar climes. This is less than 40 minutes or so after they were all drenched in seawater. They should be freezing cold being outside and wet.
- Fatal Family Photo: The posthumous version, when the Doctor has to check the vivisected political officer's ID to establish who he was.
- First Contact: One of the soldiers, Onegin, thinks this is what's happening, and is excited at the idea of returning home a hero. Belevich, on the other hand, is more pessimistically Genre Savvy, and suspects (probably correctly) that any previous alien contacts have simply been covered up by the Kremlin.
- Fish out of Temporal Water: Skaldak, by 5000 years.
- Flying Saucer: At the end.
- Gilligan Cut: No way the Doctor is letting Clara interrogate an Ice Warrior all on her own. Absolutely not. Never. Played with, in that the Doctor clearly doesn't mean it.
- The Glomp: The Doctor looks rather uncomfortable when Clara gives him one after the world is saved.
- Gory Discretion Shot: After the Ice Warrior has been vivisecting humans. More so with poor Onegin and his friend, where we see nothing, but also when the Doctor finds Stepashin's body and all we see is a pair of feet and a little bit of blood.
- Hidden Depths: Turns out, the aged Soviet scientist is a big fan of early 1980s British New Wave Music.
- Honesty Is the Best Policy: The Doctor decides not to bother pretending to be an ambassador or something and admits from the start that he and Clara are time-travellers, though the missing TARDIS, dire situation and lack of other usual aids somewhat forces his hand.
- Human Popsicle: Alien Popsicle.
- Immune to Bullets: Skaldak, whilst armoured up.
- Improperly Placed Firearms: The pistols the Soviets are shown using are Browning Hi-Power pistols that look nothing like the Makarov PM, the real-life service pistol of the Soviets at the time. The Kalashnikovs aren't the AKM or AK-74 model that a Soviet vessel of the '80s would have.
- Internal Homage: The Doctor has a ball of string in his pocket.
- Implausible Deniability: And quite by accident, too. Clara tries to argue that she can't possibly be a spy, because she doesn't speak Russian... except that because of the TARDIS's translation circuits, the Soviets hear this in Russian.
- It's What I Do: Clara points out that saving the world is the job of the Doctor and his loyal companion.
- The Juggernaut: The Ice Warrior in his armour.
- Karma Houdini: Skaldak himself: he basically got what he wanted (i.e. rescued by his people) and got away unpunished for his murder of Soviet military personnel. Then again, he has already taken some character-shaming from the Doctor and Clara, so his disabling of the warheads was his making amends.
- Kill 'em All: With the exceptions of Zhukov and Grisenko, just about all of the sub's crew is killed.
- Last of His Kind: The Ice Warrior believes he is, and thus has nothing to lose. He's not.
- Logical Weakness: The Ice Warriors' Power Armor is weak against extreme heat.
- Mistaken for Spies: The Doctor and Clara.
- Modest Royalty: Skaldak is a Grand Marshal and Sovereign and a great Ice Warrior leader, but he wears a simple soldier's heavy armour instead of the lighter "Ice Lord" armour usually associated with the higher ranks. (Since we only see the "Ice Lord" armour in stories set further into the future than this one, it's possible it just hadn't been developed in Skaldak's era.)
- Mood Whiplash: The Soviet crew is doing a nuclear launch drill, only to be interrupted by the Professor wandering onto the bridge singing an Ultravox song.
- Moral Event Horizon: Invoked: The Doctor says this will happen to Skaldak if he wipes out Earth.
- Music for Courage: Professor Grisenko suggests Clara fulfil this trope by singing "Hungry Like the Wolf", but she refuses. At first, anyway.
- Mutually Assured Destruction: Name-dropped.
- Named After Somebody Famous: Captain Zhukov, might be a reference to the WWII general. Possibly subverted, as Zhukov is a common Russian surname.
- Nice Guy: Professor Grisenko. He makes idle conversation with Clara over music and befriends her, even protecting her against the Ice Warrior. Bit of a surprise from David Warner.
- Noodle Implements: Among the Doctor's personal effects are a ball of string, a candy apple and a Barbie doll.
- Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Lampshaded. We only hear the Russians the way Clara does through the TARDIS translation matrix — speaking with British accents.
- Nothing Is Scarier: An Ice Warrior out of its suit, at least until the end of the episode.
- Not So Different: Captain Zhukov offers to talk to the Ice Warrior, but the Doctor says Skaldak will instinctively recognise him as an enemy soldier. The Captain readily perceives that the same applies to the Doctor.
- Obscured Special Effects: The episode mainly portrays Skaldak in a suit of armour made with practical effects. But when the time comes for scenes where he sneaks through the submarine without his armour, only his arm reaching down from the ceiling is shown most of the time, while a close-up of his face is done in the shadows. Only near the end is his unarmoured, unconcealed face seen, and then not even for more than half a minute.
- Oh, Crap: Too many moments to list.
- Only Sane Man:
- Captain Zhukov, in contrast to Stepashin. He's not particularly worried by America's "sabre rattling", and knows exactly what will happen if one missile gets released.
- Professor Grisenko counts too; he has no problem believing Clara and the Doctor are from the future.
- Political Officer: While not explicitly described as one, Stepashin acts like one.
- Power Armor: The first time in Doctor Who that the Ice Warriors armour is shown functioning this way.
- Proud Warrior Race Guy: The Ice Warrior.
- The Queen's Latin: Everybody speaking Russian.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Captain Zhukov
- Recycled In Space: Alien ON A SUBMARINE
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: The Ice Warrior out of his power armour.
- Religious and Mythological Theme Naming: The submarine is named Firebird.
- Right Behind Me: The Doctor drags it out a bit, but not into Overly Long Gag territory.
- Scream Discretion Shot: The second Redshirt's death.
- Sexy Soaked Shirt: Clara arrives on the sub wearing a silver cocktail dress and immediately gets drenched.
- Shed Armor, Gain Speed: Skaldak sneaks out of his Ice Warrior armor, gaining not just speed but more importantly maneuverability and stealth, allowing him to crawl around in ducts and attack people unexpectedly.
- Shown Their Work: 1983 was indeed the point in which the the Cold War could have very easily run hot, due to the (alluded to) Able Archer '83 exercises that terrified the already paranoid Soviets. There were even several close calls throughout the year, including one famous incident where only the cool head of a Soviet radar operator deciding that the missile that appeared on his screen was not a launch but most likely an equipment malfunction prevented a full-scale nuclear launch. Coincidentally (or not), this event occurred only a couple of weeks before the 20th anniversary Doctor Who special The Five Doctors was broadcast.
- Sssssnake Talk: The Ice Warrior (though far less blatant than earlier versions of the Ice Warriors).
- Static Stun Gun: Soviet cattle-prods emit visible arcs of crackling electricity.
- Styrofoam Rocks: In external shots of the sub, done so obviously it's probably an homage to old sub movies. When chunks of boulder break off the underwater ridge, they fall just like they are in air; there's not even an attempt to make it looks like the rocks are falling through actual water.
- Sub Story
- Survival Mantra: The professor talks about singing "Hungry Like the Wolf" when nervous, and tries to get Clara to sing. She does so when there's the possibility that the Martians will start a nuclear war.
- Taking You with Me: Skaldak was attacked, and believes his people to be dead. So he attempts to cause a nuclear war which will more than likely cause the destruction of Earth.
- Talking the Monster to Death: The Doctor and Clara collectively convince Skaldak to be merciful and leave in peace rather than pursue a war against humanity.
- Tempting Fate: Loads of this too, even by the Doctor who should know better.
- Tension-Cutting Laughter
- Too Dumb to Live: Piotr, who melted Skaldak out of the ice block even though they were supposed to wait until they reached Moscow.
- Tractor Beam: How the submarine gets rescued.
- Translator Microbes: Clara assures the soldiers that she's not a spy on the basis she can't even speak Russian. In, as far as they're concerned, perfect Russian. The Doctor hadn't quite got around to explaining the "translation field" bit yet.
- 24-Hour Armor: An Ice Warrior never takes off their armour as it is the ultimate expression of dishonour and it can signify that they have nothing, not even any honour, left to lose.
- The Unreveal:
- We never really get to see what Skaldak looks like outside of the armour, apart from his hands and head.
- Also we never see how the Doctor got his TARDIS back from the South Pole.
- Vertical Kidnapping: One unfortunate Red Shirt is victimised by this. Clara and the Professor, on the other hand, get timely interruptions to spare them.
- The Watson: Clara seems to take on this role a bit more in this episode, establishing for viewers how she and the Doctor are speaking Russian, and why the total destruction of Earth in 1983 can still actually happen.
- We Can Rule Together: Stephasin proposes to Skaldak an alliance to launch the war. Skaldak kills him.
- White and Gray Morality: A recurring theme of the season. The Soviets, with the exception of Stepashin, don't want a war, and Skaldak, while not exactly a nice guy, just comes from a warlike culture, and even then decides to show mercy and disarm the nukes at the end of the episode.
- You Look Familiar:
- You Must Be Cold: Clara wakes up wearing a Soviet officer's jacket.