Radar / Babylon 5

• An episode where Londo Mollari was shown cheating at cards by using a tentacle to surreptitiously grab extra cards from the deck. Turns out that the Centauri tentacles are not just tentacles: Centauri males have six prehensile penises. That are each 2-4. Feet. Long.
  • More amusing was Vir's bumbling attempt to describe to Ivanova (while asking her relationship advice about Lyndisty) the varying... levels of intimacy a Centauri couple could encounter while necking (a misleading word in this context if ever there was one), complete with sound effects and gestures indicating the difference between "one" and "six":
    Vir: There were other women, but I never got past one.
    Ivanova: You mean first base.
    Vir: No, no, I mean one. You see, we have six, ah... we have six, you see, and each one is a different level of intimacy and pleasure. So, you know, first you have one, and that's... nnyeahh. Then there's two, and by the time you get to five it's like (starts panting loudly)...
    • Also, Word of God has stated that Centauri females also have six, er, receptacles — three on each side of their spine.
    • The original script for "Born to the Purple" called for a close-up of Adira's back, complete with "holes." Unfortunately, the show's very low budget nixed it.
  • Londo was furious that the action figure version of himself sold in the station gift shop lacked the relevant characteristics (because Centauri statues are all supposed to be anatomically correct). Ivanova, who has an unfortunate knack for finding herself involved in discussions of Centauri anatomy, says "So you feel you're being symbolically cast... in a bad light?"
• In the pilot episode, G'kar tries to hire the human telepath Lyta Alexander to bear his child, because the Narn have no telepaths. "Now, would you prefer to be conscious or unconscious during the mating? I would prefer conscious but [grins] I don't know what your pleasure threshold is." Indicating that the two species' reproductive organs are similar enough for copulation. Which makes rather perplexing a later episode where G'kar is shown having an affair with one of Londo's wives. I mean, given what we know of Centauri "attributes", that's not like a human having sex with a sheep, it's like a human having sex with a spider.
  • Centauri babies have to come out somewhere, so she just might have complimentary "genitalia" (for lack of a better word) that would allow for interspecies sex. And/or G'kar gave her a back massage and she returned the favor.
  • Several years later (and after the full awakening of her Touched by Vorlons powers) Lyta agrees to provide G'kar with her genetic material, commenting in passing "Oh, and you once mentioned wondering what my pleasure threshold is. I just recently found out... I don't have one. Have a very, very nice day."
  • G'Kar is also described as having a fetish for human women, and his promiscuity is referred to in several places prior to his first imprisonment. For example, in Na'Toth's first episode, when G'Kar asks her to investigate how a black tulip turned up in his bed, she comments "It is not my place to speculate on how anything finds its way into your bed," within only a few days of her arrival on the station, suggesting his reputation is well known on Narn as well.
    • Another incident involved Garibaldi finding a pair of panties on the floor of G'Kar's bedroom. G'Kar's response suggests that he's mostly irritated that he didn't have time to police the room for such items before the visit.
  • Given that human beings have figured out many fun things beyond standard Tab A into standard Slot B, G'Kar doesn't necessarily need physical compatibility for any of his extra-species dalliances, just creativity and dexterity.
    • It's heavily implied that most species have been directly genetically manipulated by The Shadows and/or the Vorlons. Given the lack of telepaths is ultimately revealed as being a far more crippling disadvantage than implied by not having your own mindreaders for intergalactic politics, it's a safe bet that the Narn are just one more species only a step or two away from LEGO Genetics.
• Londo in particular, but also G'Kar and others, make insulting comments about other male characters' lack of sexual prowess.
  • Indeed, Londo and G'Kar get into an argument about G'Kar's late arrival that quickly diverges into a conversation about premature ejaculation. Much to G'Kar's increasing horror.
• They also managed to sneak in an implied and later explicitly confirmed relationship between Ivanova and Talia, and a (pretended) marriage between two men was seen as completely normal by every character in the show.
• Let's not forget Londo talking over a comm-link to someone severely annoying him, who then ended transmission with "I'll be in touch." Londo's response? A self-grope with both hands, meaning he grabbed his own abdomen, as he said, "touch this!" Viewers who missed the previous...explanations for Centauri genitalia were probably confused, and any of those viewers who might've added it up were probably quite horrified without the benefit of the previous explanation to ease them into the information.
  • Actually, that was at the beginning of the episode ("The Quality of Mercy") where we first learn about Centauri male "attributes" — only in retrospect or on subsequent viewings does it become evident that Londo just made a presumably obscene gesture.
  • It's a bit hard to tell with Londo's accent, but it's more likely he said "Touch these." Considering the Centauri don't seem to be as modest about their sexual characteristics as humans tend to be (Londo openly displays a statue of a naked hermaphroditic woman, who's a goddess no less), it's possible that what he said is no more offensive than "kiss my ass" would be to humans.
    • Then again, it may be why Centauri men favor vests and long coats (at least around aliens). There are examples within canon of Centauri passing as humans for espionage purposes^note (in fact, they tried to claim Earth as a lost colony when they made first contact) so keeping their genitalia under wraps may be important for strategy as well as modesty.
    • We do have nude statues of various deities in our human cultures, you know?
    • That was just one example. Another comment made by Londo indicates that Centauri expect all depictions of an individual to be as close to realistic (including anatomical correctness) as possible.
• Regarding the hermaphroditic statue, once Londo is alone in his quarters, he walks off camera, taking the statue with him. The way he does it is oddly reminiscent of someone taking a lingerie catalog with them to the bathroom.
• In the episode "The Illusion Of Truth", Londo and Sheridan are arguing about the climate control in the former's quarters:
  Londo: I do not mean, "oh, I think I will put another blanket on my bed tonight", I mean "look, my left arm has snapped off, like an icicle, and shattered on the floor!"! This is highly inappropriate, Captain!
  Sheridan: I agree. There's several other parts of you I'd much rather have snapped off.
• In "Convictions", Garibaldi tells Zach to explain the "missionary... position" to some Drazi clerics.
• In the spin off Crusade one episode involves a human/pak'ma'ra porno that is apparently VERY attention getting.
  • The characters further imply when two different species hook up some um...gadgets might be involved.
  • One of the characters viewing the video mentions that humans and pak'ma'ra can't POSSIBLY do what it is being indicated they are about to do (because of, shall we say, plumbing problems)...then, apparently, they do anyway. (The file was one of several on the crystal. The most apparently straight-laced of the characters turned out to have a collection of such stuff, and mixed up his crystals when turning in a written report.)
    • Rather, the report was on the crystal, but he forgot to erase the previous data, so that the porno started as soon as the report ended. It makes one wonder if Max either a) had a shortage of empty crystals at the moment, or b) he's got so much porn he can't keep track of it all.
• Crusade also features a episode in which two characters are about to sleep together and then cuts to an scene of a cargo ship docking with Babylon 5. And Word of God is it was completely intentional.
• If we're throwing in Crusade, the Excalibur is humped by a space jellyfish. Not subtle, not implied, just thrown on the screen and openly commented on by the characters.
  • And it was hilarious.
• During Marcus' and Franklin's trip to Mars, in a very shoddy cargo hold, Franklin says that it "smells like the inside of a Martian pleasure dome on Sunday morning".
  • Of course in this case, Mars is populated by humans instead of Green Skinned Space Babes, and "pleasure" could mean anything from drugs to sex to all-night raves... Or something that doesn't involve drugs and sex. But then, there's nothing to say that it doesn't mean that.
    • The "Sunday morning" part would seem to indicate that something illicit and/or immoral is going on. It was established in Season 1 that Catholicism has some sort of presence on Mars: Sinclair is from Mars and makes more than one reference to having lived among Jesuits at one point.
    • What really sells the "sex" aspect is Marcus's response, "I wouldn't know about that..."; he had been earlier mentioned to be waiting for the right lady.
  • The same scene has Marcus repeatedly extending and retracting his Minbari fighting pike. When Franklin complains that it's annoying him, Marcus mutters that it helps him relax. And if that was all too subtle, he's also holding it at about crotch level.
• From Voices Of Authority, Sheridan has been assigned a Political Officer, one who has decided that Sex Sells when it comes to ensuring a certain key officer's loyalty. Ivanova appears in the room just after the political officer has finished disrobing in Sheridan's quarters:
  Ivanova: Good luck, Captain." *raising a Fascinating Eyebrow* I think you're about to go where everyone has gone before.
  • Followed soon after by Ivanova disappearing, the Political Officer walking into the room still nude, and Sheridan glancing down before declaring that it must be colder in here than he thought...
  • The whole scene is filled with innuendo statements starting with Ivanova saying "My usual timing, sorry."
• The Starfury pilots, like Real Life fighter pilots, have various patches on their uniforms. And, just like Real Life fighter pilots, many of those patches are full of Double Entendres. Of note is the patch worn by all of B5's pilots, showing a Starfury being launched (via being dropped through a hatch in the "floor" of the station), with the words "Ugly, But Well Hung." It's plainly visible through much of the series, because none of the censors ever looked closely enough to notice.
  • JMS posted to Usenet as season 4 was getting under way that he only just realized there simply weren't any censors.
• In a second-season episode, one of Londo's wives calls another one a "bitch". Fans asked Peter David (who wrote that episode) how he managed to get that word on the air. He responded "I didn't. I just put it in the script."
  • In context, it was a double entendre, half of which could be construed as the word's non-vulgar meaning.
• In the first season episode "Infection" Garibaldi is trying to decide if he should buy some item from a shop. "According to the translator, it's either an aphrodisiac or a floor wax. I can't decide if it's worth the risk or not." And upon deciding to buy it, "If this thing leaves a waxy yellow buildup—on anything—I'm coming back here."
• There's also Ivanova's "human style" sex ritual to seal an alliance with the Lumati.
  • And then the "gift" she receives afterwards. A note that says "next time, my way," and a... thing.
  • Plus, Ivanova only took the job because Sheridan pawned it off on her. Word of God happily confirmed that if he hadn't, the Lumati ambassador would have fully expected to have sex with him instead. And in Sheridan's defense, he had no way of knowing that the ambassador was expecting to get freaky upon concluding negotiations.
• "Anatomically impossible, Mr. Garibaldi, but you're welcome to try."
• Lyta Alexander has been modified by the Vorlons so she can psychically carry their consciousness through the universe to attend to matters. At the conclusion of one such spell (which manifests like white tentacles of light pouring from the encounter suit into her eyes and mouth), she says "You didn't have to pull out of me so fast. You hurt me." As if her position as Kosh II's attache needed an even more abusive subtext....
• In In the Shadow of Z'Ha'Dum, after Vir tells Morden what he wants, Morden's response is to reach into his jacket for a data crystal with information Londo wanted. Before he gives it to Vir, Morden holds the crystal up with his thumb and middle finger and positions his hand in such a way that he's flipping Vir off.
  • Vir was waving at him just before that. Given what we know about the Centauri Bizarre Alien Biology Morden was simply returning the favor.
• In The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari, Londo has collapsed after a heart attack and is being attended to by Medlab staff. They tear off his shirt, leaving him bare chested with some things under his arms. Anyone who has been reading this entire page will realize that we've just had the Centauri equivalent of full frontal nudity on camera, via Bizarre Alien Biology.
• Just before the character is introduced, Londo talks about the previous times he had met Emperor Cartagia. He describes an incident with a teenaged Cartagia looking up women's dresses. The subtext is obvious, though a fan who'd had a case of Fridge Logic commented that from what we know of Centauri biology, Cartagia was looking in the wrong place. JMS's response? "Tell that to a foot fetishist."
  • Judging by one of the maids' comments about Londo needing to borrow her clothes and how the Emperor used to do that too, it seems Cartagia was also a crossdresser.
• In the episode "Racing Mars", Delenn invites Sheridan to another ritual which involves them "discovering each other's centers of pleasure." When Sheridan shows up to her quarters for that, he realizes that said ritual involves being observed doing the deed by several other Minbari, including Lennier. Sheridan is reluctant, but is convinced to do it anyway. Later, a clearly awkward Sheridan and Lennier share a lift, where a confused Lennier asks Sheridan "woohoo?", implying that the "ritual" was....quite the experience.