Quotes: Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!

I'm not mean, I'm a thousand years old,
And I just lost track of my moral code
Marceline, Adventure Time

I'm OLD! Gimme, gimme, gimme!
Grampa Simpson (upon entering a Social Security office)

Write this down, Perry. I'm old, and I honestly don't care what people think about anything I do. (farts) That was me, folks.
Dr Kelso, Scrubs

Yesterday I announced on this program that I was going to commit public suicide, admittedly an act of madness. Well, I'll tell you what happened: I just ran out of bullshit. I just ran out of bullshit! Am I still on the air?... I don't have anything going for me. I haven't got any kids. And I was married for 33 years of shrill, shrieking fraud. So I don't have any bullshit left. I just ran out of it, you see.
Howard Beale, Network

You fucking son of a bitch. I'm dying. There is no time to be sentimental.
The Commodore, Boardwalk Empire

Boxer Boy: "Were Old!"
Great-Granny Girdle:"And we don't care what anyone think!"
Boxer Boy:*shoves a policeman into water* "Outta my way, Buster Brown!"
Great-Granny Girdle: *whacks a guy with her walker*"Step aside, you bother me!"

Ahh, you're a couple of fucking broads, work this shit on your own. Need some smokes... Nurse batshit, where's my smokes?
— Frank Woods, Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

Black Mage: Lady, you've tried every shoe in the store; including the men's and children's shoes, which clearly won't fit.
Old Woman: Don't you tell me what won't fit. I am old and possibily senile.
Black Mage: As you insist on telling me every few minutes.
Old Woman: Now, cobble me up a pair of comfortable shoes or I'll start making unreasonable demands that I have no intention of letting you fulfill.

Okay, whoa! You donít get a bitch pass just cuz youíre old. Yes, thatís right, I said it. You come in here with your gangster granny attitude and think you can get away with dumping all over the lowly Gypsy waitress. No way. At this diner, we donít discriminate due to age. If youíre gonna act like an ass, Iím gonna treat you like an ass, no matter how close that ass is riding to the floor. Now, Iíll wipe off the table and weíll take it from the top. Hi, Iím Max. Who wants tapioca?
Max Black, 2 Broke Girls

Real Life

It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.

While talking to the Wall Street Journal about her new album, Queen Aretha was asked to give her thoughts on some of the 'young divas' of today. You can tell that Queen Aretha hates interviews and thinks every question is filed under STUPID. Queen Aretha is over it before it even begins...Maybe Aretha doesnít even know who Taylor is, though. Maybe she thinks Taylor Swift is a line of quickly made dresses at Lord & Taylor.
Michael K., "A Lesson In How To Properly Shade From Queen Aretha"

Thorpe: I hope the system of gingerly handling old people like they're retarded is still in place when I'm old, because I'm going to be saying the most racist shit imaginable just to watch people squirm.
Zack: Yeah, if you can live past about 60 you are finally free to just absolutely hate black people in public. Which I think is what we all secretly want.
Thorpe: Actually, at that point the standards of society will change so my opinions actually WILL be really offensive. I'll be like "they really should do something about all these pedophiles having sex with children in the streets," and everyone will blush and get really quiet, and I'll be like "what!?"
Zack: "Fucking manga!"
"Doctor" David Thorpe and Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons, regular contributors to Something Awful