I'm not mean, I'm a thousand years old,
And I just lost track of my moral code
And I just lost track of my moral code
— Marceline, Adventure Time
"I'm OLD! Gimme, gimme, gimme!"
—Grampa Simpson (upon entering a Social Security office), The Simpsons
"Write this down, Perry. I'm old, and I honestly don't care what people think about anything I do. (farts) That was me, folks."
— Dr Kelso, Scrubs
"Yesterday I announced on this program that I was going to commit public suicide, admittedly an act of madness. Well, I'll tell you what happened: I just ran out of bullshit. I just ran out of bullshit! Am I still on the air?... I don't have anything going for me. I haven't got any kids. And I was married for 33 years of shrill, shrieking fraud. So I don't have any bullshit left. I just ran out of it, you see."
—Howard Beale, Network
I was a young boy that had big plans
Now I'm just another shitty old man
I don't have fun and I hate everything
The world owes me, so fuck you
Glory days don't mean shit to me
I drank a six-pack of apathy
Life's a bitch and so am I
The world owes me, so fuck you
Now I'm just another shitty old man
I don't have fun and I hate everything
The world owes me, so fuck you
Glory days don't mean shit to me
I drank a six-pack of apathy
Life's a bitch and so am I
The world owes me, so fuck you
—Green Day, "The Grouch"
"Out of order". I'll show you out of order! You don't know what "out of order" is, Mr. Trask! I'd show you, but I'm too old. I'm too tired and I'm too fuckin' blind. If I were the man I was five years ago, I'd take a FLAMETHROWER to this place! Out of order? Who the hell you think you're talking to?
—Frank Slade, Scent of a Woman
You fucking son of a bitch. I'm dying. There is no time to be sentimental.
— The Commodore, Boardwalk Empire
Boxer Boy: Were Old!
Great-Granny Girdle: And we don't care what anyone think!
Boxer Boy: [shoves a policeman into water] Outta my way, Buster Brown!
Great-Granny Girdle: [whacks a guy with her walker] Step aside, you bother me!
Great-Granny Girdle: And we don't care what anyone think!
Boxer Boy: [shoves a policeman into water] Outta my way, Buster Brown!
Great-Granny Girdle: [whacks a guy with her walker] Step aside, you bother me!
Ahh, you're a couple of fucking broads, work this shit on your own. Need some smokes... Nurse batshit, where's my smokes?
— Frank Woods, Call of Duty: Black Ops II
Black Mage: Lady, you've tried every shoe in the store; including the men's and children's shoes, which clearly won't fit.
Old Woman: Don't you tell me what won't fit. I am old and possibily senile.
Black Mage: As you insist on telling me every few minutes.
Old Woman: Now, cobble me up a pair of comfortable shoes or I'll start making unreasonable demands that I have no intention of letting you fulfill.
Old Woman: Don't you tell me what won't fit. I am old and possibily senile.
Black Mage: As you insist on telling me every few minutes.
Old Woman: Now, cobble me up a pair of comfortable shoes or I'll start making unreasonable demands that I have no intention of letting you fulfill.
Okay, whoa! You don’t get a bitch pass just cuz you’re old. Yes, that’s right, I said it. You come in here with your gangster granny attitude and think you can get away with dumping all over the lowly Gypsy waitress. No way. At this diner, we don’t discriminate due to age. If you’re gonna act like an ass, I’m gonna treat you like an ass, no matter how close that ass is riding to the floor. Now, I’ll wipe off the table and we’ll take it from the top. Hi, I’m Max. Who wants tapioca?
— Max Black, 2 Broke Girls
Obara Sand: We invited you to Dorne because we needed your help. You came to Dorne because you needed our help.
Olenna Tyrell: ...What is your name again? Barbaro?
Obara: Obara.
Olenna: "Obara." You look like an angry little boy. Don't presume to tell me what I need.
Nymeria: Forgive my sister. What she lacks in diplomacy, she makes-
Olenna: Do shut up, dear. (turns to Tyene) Anything from you?
Tyene opens her mouth, but-
Olenna: No? Good. Let the grown women speak.
Olenna Tyrell: ...What is your name again? Barbaro?
Obara: Obara.
Olenna: "Obara." You look like an angry little boy. Don't presume to tell me what I need.
Nymeria: Forgive my sister. What she lacks in diplomacy, she makes-
Olenna: Do shut up, dear. (turns to Tyene) Anything from you?
Tyene opens her mouth, but-
Olenna: No? Good. Let the grown women speak.
Whether it was an accident or not, there's no better Old Man Power Move than forgetting someone's name. "As far as I'm concerned, everybody under 70 is named Jake or Sport!"
Are you an old person and need money? Take things! You're old; no one's gonna stop you, you're not gonna go to jail. Go to the grocery store right now, fill up a cart with everything you need and walk the fuck outta there!
She looked me over with eyes sunk deep into a face like a map of the Pyrénées, and shrilled between the gap in her front teeth, “Raisins in the bottom of the bag!” Then her eyes narrowed and in a smaller voice she added, “I sees you hiding in that skin. Heard in the wire, ain't it? Heard it go away."
We shifted uneasily in the force of her gaze. "Hah!" she shrieked. "Bollocks arseholes!"
“Thank you, Madam Dorie,” intoned Sinclair. “As always, your contribution is scintillating.”
“Up yours, walrus-bottom!”
George, I'm an old man, and most people hate me; but I don't like them either, so that makes it all even.
—Henry F. Potter, It's a Wonderful Life
The elderly deserve our respect, but not when they use their age as an excuse to act like jerks. I sure hope I don't turn out like them when I get old...
—Hiiragi's ending narration on this episode
of Etra chan saw it!
of Etra chan saw it!Chilli: You could pay a little...
Old Lady: I think you should mind your own business.
"Damn Krauts! I didn't fight on the beaches to be made to look a monkey!"
— Mr. Ernest Grainger, Are You Being Served?
Real Life
It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot.
My body is my brain bag, it hauls me around to those places & in front of faces where theres something to say or see
I remember during the whole AIDS PANIC!!! era of the 80s, The National Enquirer or some shit like that said that Burt had AIDS and he later said he was afraid that rumor was going to ruin his career. You’d think that’d make Pepaw Burt a little bit sensitive, but nope. Burt Reynolds went full Burt Reynolds. Those rose-colored glasses◊ are strictly for show... If you shook his stache out, you wouldn’t find one fuck in there. Burt is your grouchy grandpa who’d tell you that you deserved it and to quit crying when you crack your skull open on the headboard while jumping on the bed. “Just pour some ammonia on your head and go get me a hard candy” is probably what he’d say.
◊ are strictly for show... If you shook his stache out, you wouldn’t find one fuck in there. Burt is your grouchy grandpa who’d tell you that you deserved it and to quit crying when you crack your skull open on the headboard while jumping on the bed. “Just pour some ammonia on your head and go get me a hard candy” is probably what he’d say.